SNL Recap 11/16/13 Lady GaGa

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Death, please.

CBC News Toronto
I haven’t been following the Rob Ford circus very closely, so I don’t know how much this sketch was referring to actual moments or not.  Either way, it all felt rather perfunctory.  Where this sketch succeeded was when it fully embraced cheesy “Canadian” humor (a Boxing Day ham), which I guess is acceptable, because Rob Ford’s accent is about as thick as a Canuck’s can get. B-

Lady GaGa’s Monologue
Did they want it to be that obvious how fake the audience interactions were, even considering that it was cast members playing the audience? C+

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VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 11/16/13

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Shouldn’t Haim be Numbers 1-20?

Original Version
1. Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Demons”
3. Lorde – “Royals”
4. Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball”
5. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
6. Tegan and Sara – “Closer”
7. Emeli Sandé – “My Kind of Love”
8. The Neighbourhood – “Sweater Weather”
9. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
10. Katy Perry – “Roar”
11. Bruno Mars – “Gorilla”
12. Travie McCoy ft. Gavin DeGraw – “Rough Water”
13. Jason Derulo – “Marry Me”
14. Haim – “The Wire”
15. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
16. Justin Timberlake – “TKO”
17. Ellie Goulding – “Burn”
18. Fall Out Boy – “Alone Together”
19. Paramore – “Still Into You”
20. Goo Goo Dolls – “Come to Me”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Wake Me Up
2. Royals
3. Closer
4. The Wire
5. TKO
6. Demons
7. Sweater Weather
8. Wrecking Ball
9. Gorilla
10. Burn
11. Applause
12. Alone Together
13. Roar
14. Still Into You
15. Let Her Go
16. My Kind of Love
17. Come to Me
18. Counting Stars
19. Rough Water
20. Marry Me

The Collected Madness of Alex Trebek, Volume 9

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Alex Trebek is starting to lose it, and as a public service, I will be posting all the evidence of his insanity.

38. Metallica made a whopper of a deal when it paid over $3 billion to switch genders & become the one-armed female peacock

39. Justin Bieber was struck by Selena Gomez’ Muslim dwarf carpenter but recovered and drooled in her older brother’s bikini. Bon appetit!

40. Forget about Benghazi, the White House says 66% of its customers are boisterous, violent, Russian, redneck f-holes who fight off Jewish vampires by arousing Napoleon’s 12″ man-hammer

41. To show remorse after murdering his wife, Chris Brown has merged with al-Qaida to develop this kids’ game where you wear a blindfold & drive a car with Darth Vader’s divorce papers from New York to San Francisco

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 11/12/13

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I’m really disappointed in the lack of 11/12/13-themed songs on this week’s countdown.

Original Version
1. Lorde – “Royals”
2. Eminem – “Survival”
3. Katy Perry – “Roar”
4. Avicii – “Wake Me Up”
5. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
6. Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball”
7. Imagine Dragons – “Demons”
8. Drake ft. Majid Jordan – “Hold On, We’re Going Home”
9. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
10. Mike WiLL Made It ft. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, and Juicy J – “23”
11. Jason Derulo – “Marry Me”
12. The Neighbourhood – “Sweater Weather”
13. Paramore – “Still Into You”
14. Bruno Mars – “Gorilla”
15. Ellie Goulding – “Burn”
16. AWOLNATION – “Sail”
17. Britney Spears – “Work Bitch”
18. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. ScHoolboy Q and Hollis – “White Walls”
19. Selena Gomez – “Slow Down”
20. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Sail
2. Wake Me Up
3. Royals
4. Work Bitch
5. Demons
6. Sweater Weather
7. Wrecking Ball
8. Gorilla
9. Hold On, We’re Going Home
10. Burn
11. Safe and Sound
12. Survival
13. White Walls
14. Applause
15. Roar
16. Still Into You
17. Slow Down
18. 23
19. Counting Stars
20. Marry Me

What Won TV? – November 3-November 9, 2013

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – American Dad!
Monday – HIMYM
Tuesday – Trophy Wife for its 1st victory, maybe?
Wednesday – Key & Peele – all eyes were on McCringleberry’s thrusts
Thursday – Parenthood
Friday – Comedy Bang! Bang!, coming in exactly at 30 minutes
Saturday – High School USA!

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 11/9/13

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Everybody loves “Wake Me Up,” right?

Original Version
1. Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
2. Lorde – “Royals”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Demons”
4. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
5. Katy Perry – “Roar”
6. Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball”
7. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
8. Emeli Sandé – “My Kind of Love”
9. Tegan and Sara – “Closer”
10. The Neighbourhood – “Sweater Weather”
11. Paramore – “Still Into You”
12. Bruno Mars – “Gorilla”
13. Haim – “The Wire”
14. Travie McCoy ft. Gavin DeGraw – “Rough Water”
15. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
16. Jason Derulo – “Marry Me”
17. Fall Out Boy – “Alone Together”
18. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
19. Robin Thicke ft. 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar – “Give It 2 U”
20. Ellie Goulding – “Burn”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Wake Me Up
2. Royals
3. Closer
4. The Wire
5. Give It 2 U
6. Demons
7. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
8. Sweater Weather
9. Wrecking Ball
10. Gorilla
11. Burn
12. Applause
13. Alone Together
14. Roar
15. Still Into You
16. Let Her Go
17. My Kind of Love
18. Counting Stars
19. Rough Water
20. Marry Me

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 11/5/13

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FUSE, VH1, #1, Agreement, blah blah blah.

Original Version
1. Lorde – “Royals”
2. Katy Perry – “Roar”
3. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
4. Avicii – “Wake Me Up”
5. Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball”
6. Drake ft. Majid Jordan – “Hold On, We’re Going Home”
7. Imagine Dragons – “Demons”
8. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
9. Mike WiLL Made It ft. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, and Juicy J – “23”
10. Jason Derulo – “Marry Me”
11. Britney Spears – “Work Bitch”
12. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
13. Eminem – “Survival”
14. Bruno Mars – “Gorilla”
15. Paramore – “Still Into You”
16. AWOLNATION – “Sail”
17. The Neighbourhood – “Sweater Weather”
18. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
19. Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – “Everything Has Changed”
20. Selena Gomez – “Slow Down”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Sail
2. Wake Me Up
3. Royals
4. Work Bitch
5. Demons
6. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
7. Sweater Weather
8. Wrecking Ball
9. Gorilla
10. Hold On, We’re Going Home
11. Safe and Sound
12. Survival
13. Applause
14. Roar
15. Still Into You
16. Slow Down
17. 23
18. Counting Stars
19. Marry Me
20. Everything Has Changed

SNL Video Recap 11/2/13 Kerry Washington/Eminem

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Watch And/Or Listen to This: Trio’s “Da Da Da”

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Remember that Volkswagen commercial from about 15 years ago in which those two guys pick up that dirty couch on the side of the road?  And how we all loved it, in no small part thanks to its awesomely mellow song?  This week’s episode of American Dad! featured that song.  Oh, those Germans and their minimalism!

The Best Horror Movie Final Girls

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Halloween has come and gone, but I didn’t make a Halloween-based pop culture list.  So here’s one now: my selections for the best “final girls” in horror movie history.

5. Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
A lot of final girls make it to the end by sheer random chance.  It may seem that way at first with Sally, but she is above all else a survivor.  Even when all she can do just to have a chance to make it out alive is scream, good God, does she scream.  The final shot of her covered in blood is the ultimate picture of just barely escaping the clutches of hell.
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4. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), Halloween
Laurie Strode proves the maxim that a hero is only as good as the villain.  Relentlessly pursued by the embodiment of pure evil, she proves just as relentless in defending herself and those she is in charge of.
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3. Erin Harson (Sharni Vinson), You’re Next
You’re Next 
subverts the expectations of the final girl by giving its heroine a background that has actually prepared her a classic horror movie scenario.  But preparation to fight back does not make it easy, even when you are successful.  Sharni Vinson’s bravura emotional display makes it clear how devastating killing is even when you are trained for it and even when it is in self-defense.
YOURE-NEXT-Image-01

2. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Alien
Ripley’s journey as final girl (or final woman, as it hardly feels appropriate to call an astronautical officer a girl) is the hero’s journey.  By the time she has expelled the Alien into space, she has graduated into full-on badass action hero.  Maybe it’s because I saw Alien 30 years after it came out, but it seemed like that side of her was always there in the first place.
ripley_gal

1. Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp), A Nightmare on Elm Street
What earns Nancy Thompson the number one spot is that she fights back, but she must develop that ability to do so over the course of her ordeal.  She is the most imaginatively resourceful of any final girl, necessarily so.  Even when everyone else is denying the existence of Freddy Krueger, she is focused on figuring out the rules of a realm of existence beyond the normal.  When life suddenly becomes unbelievably strange, ignoring this new reality might mean death, and Nancy instinctively realizes this more than just about any other movie character ever.
nancy

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