Alex Trebek is starting to lose it, and as a public service, I will be posting all the evidence of his insanity.
47. Skrillex, whose name is Yiddish for “toxic pig skin”, became deaf in his right ear while probing a human embryo with the gas-powered congresswoman
48. Oops! Bruce Willis butt-dialed my mother-in-law saying, “Och, bring over your mother & go outside & dig up some tatties”
49. Currently the top 10 baby names for Jewish girls include Inchworm, Happy Nuts, Flimsy Puss, Caterpillar Smokes, Brown Sugar & Desert Dweller
50. Hugh Jackman is a hairy man with one saclike body cavity that looks like an older dog with thick fur who was put to sleep for making a fool of himself
51. OMG! A self-absorbed carpet soaking yoga instructor squeezed out a humorously small sausage equivalent to 1/60 of a belly button
52. The ex-president of Ukraine, James VanDerBeek, often massages weasels in order to extract this foul-smelling waxy secretion that has bridge engineers all over the world screaming, “Whassup!”
Alex Trebek is starting to lose it, and as a public service, I will be posting all the evidence of his insanity.
42. Tony Stark builds an armored suit to help Helen Keller escape from Guantanamo Bay in a snowstorm
43. Bill Clinton said that women make the best stink-hole shower gel because they can scrape off the hardened pork like the old-fashioned stuff you’d spread on with a can opener
44. During the George W. Bush presidency, the Secret Service taught drama to fat little pro-slavery bullfighters in preparation for a war with the single-breasted turkeys
45. British people drink snake venom when suffering from alcoholic rage; in the U.S. we tie up a dogie, hoof it across the dance floor & spit. Wow, that’s so weird — I was just thinking about Michael Jackson’s daughter
46. Oh my gosh! Rosie O’Donell’s dog took a crap in her mouth. It helps boost the immune system