Thank You, ‘Hadestown: The Musical’, for Being There When I Wanted Something to See

Leave a comment

Hey-Hades! (CREDIT: Bleecker Street/Screenshot)

Starring: Reeve Carney, Eva Noblezada, André De Shields, Amber Gray, Patrick Page

Director: Brett Sullivan

Running Time: 141 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: July 24, 2026 (Theaters)

Well, hello there! Yes, the rumors are true, I did go see Hadestown: The Musical in a movie theater. I had never previously seen it on Broadway or any other live theatrical venue, though I did have a general idea of what to expect. Here are my biggest takeaways:

-I would’ve guessed ahead of time that André De Shields would be the main singer behind my favorite song, but no, that honor instead goes to Patrick Page as Mr. Hades himself going on about The Wall. What a bass!
-André was great, too, of course, and he did a fine job of ushering his co-stars into the spotlight.
-Let’s all start jumping like Amber Gray as Persephone!
-That “la la la” falsetto from Reeve Carney was kind of terrifying. (In a good way?)
-Eva Noblezada was delivering the sort of face acting that was making me go, “I hope everything works out okay!”

And now you know what I thought about Hadestown: The Musical.

Grade: Eu-ryd-Is-All-i-ce!

Okay, Fine, I Guess I’ll Go See the Live-Action ‘Moana’

Leave a comment

Moana, Moproblems (CREDIT: Disney/Screenshot)

Starring: Catherine Laga’aia, Dwayne Johnson, Rena Owen, John Tui, Frankie Adams, Jemaine Clement

Director: Thomas Kail

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: July 10, 2026 (Theaters)

You’re welcome! Why are you welcome, you may ask? Well, I assume that you would be thanking me at some point for getting to read this review of mine. Now why, you may also ask, am I being so presumptuous about my audience’s reaction? Well, I just felt compelled to mimic the same presumptuousness demonstrated by the Dwayne Johnson-portrayed demigod Maui, which is in turn the very same presumptuousness demonstrated by Walt Disney Pictures in releasing a live-action remake of Moana a mere decade after the animated original.

But you know what? I did feel welcome.

I’m sure that had quite a bit to do with my lowered expectations set by this questionable context. But this movie felt like a movie, and I guess it was just a day when I needed the silver screen to gently wash over me. (As it is most days.) So, well… thank you.

Grade: Just Shiny Enough

‘Her Private Hell’ is Totally Out to Lunch

Leave a comment

When Private Hells go Public (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Charles Melton, Havana Rose Liu, Kristine Froseth, Shioli Kutsuna, Aoi Yamada, Dougray Scott, Diego Calva, Hidetoshi Nishijima, Parker Sawyers

Director: Nicholas Winding Refn

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Stylized But Certainly Bloody Violence, and Some Sexual Content and Language Under a Similarly Stylized Veneer

Release Date: July 24, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A veteran actress named Elle (Sophie Thatcher) meets an up-and-comer named Hunter (Kristine Froseth) who is set to co-star with her in an upcoming production. Hunter is eager to soak up everything Elle has to teach her, and she’s also enamored with Elle’s famous dad Johnny Thunders (Dougray Scott), who’s back in town with his new wife Dominique (Havana Rose Liu), who’s about the same age as Elle. They’re all staying in a luxury hotel in Tokyo that stretches into the clouds and seems to exist on another plane of existence entirely. It might sound like a lavish life of wonder, but they’re also right in the crosshairs of a mystical killer known as the Leather Man. Meanwhile, an investigator known as Private K (Charles Melton) fights his way through the city’s criminal underground.

What Made an Impression?: Return of the Winding: After breaking through in Hollywood with 2011’s acclaimed Drive, Danish director Nicholas Winding Refn’s output has been famously divisive. I actually found his 2016 bizarre nightmare horror flick The Neon Demon to be quite a hoot, but I could see why it didn’t work for everyone. Now that he’s returned to feature films a decade later with Her Private Hell, my reaction is, “Wait a minute, was I really ever a fan of Refn in the first place?” Now’s a good time to practice my compartmentalization skills.
Turning on the Charm: In the first 20 minutes or so of HPH, I was kind of vibing along with the stylized faux-reality. Most of Elle and Hunter’s repartee is profoundly shallow, but there are a few lines that have a bit of a satirical edge to them or enough pseudo-philosophical heft to sufficiently amuse me. So yeah, I must admit that I laughed, and I cannot deny that Refn’s whole impish deal can still hold its sway over me, at least in spurts.
It Was Nice Knowing Ya: At a certain point, though, my mind drifted about as far away from what was happening on the screen as possible. I lost the plot, and I wasn’t one bit interested in rediscovering it. But what is this plot that I speak of, when truly Her Private Hell can only boast of a facsimile of typical storytelling? This whole assemblage could have been pretty memorable as a music video. But as a feature length endeavor? It’s only memorable for how forgettable it is.

Her Private Hell is Recommended If: You’re still 100% in on NWR stock and nothing has ever convinced you otherwise

Grade: 2 out of 5 Leather Men

‘The Odyssey’ Lives Up to Its Billing

1 Comment

It certainly has been an Odyssey (CREDIT: Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Samantha Morton, Zendaya, Charlize Theron, Benny Safdie, Jon Bernthal, John Leguizamo, Bill Irwin, Himesh Patel, Will Yun Lee, Corey Hawkins, Mia Goth, Logan Marshall-Green, Jimmy Gonzales, Andrew Howard, Travis Scott, Elliot Page, James Remar, Elyes Gabel

Director: Christopher Nolan

Running Time: 173 Minutes

Rating: R for Monstrous Violence and a Few Four-Letter Words

Release Date: July 17, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The King of Ithaca, just wants to get back home! And if he could, he’d also like to safely return the men who served alongside him in the Trojan War, thank you very much. It’s been years. Decades, even! Obviously, travel times were much longer in the B.C. days, but when it’s getting to be ten years since the end of the war (on top of the ten that the war itself lasted), it’s a little ridiculous even by Ancient Greek standards. But that’s just the daily struggle for Odysseus when his life is ruled by the gods and they place a series of monstrous and magical obstacles in his way. Back in Ithaca, Odysseus’s queen Penelope and son Telemachus have been patiently and faithfully awaiting his return. But the situation is becoming more and more untenable, as a legion of suitors are demanding that Penelope finally get around to remarrying one of them. We’re talking about one of the most enduring works of mythic storytelling in human history, and this version from Christopher Nolan can reasonably claim to be the most epic adaptation yet.

What Made an Impression?: The Entire Known World: The moment that most blew me away in this telling of The Odyssey was a simple but all-encompassing shot of a ship navigating along a seemingly endless sea. Simply put, if you give Christopher Nolan hundreds of millions of dollars, he’s going to make you re-evaluate our entire conception of reality, even if he’s telling a story we’ve heard plenty of times before.
As Epic as They Wanna Be: That ship shot is a microcosm of Nolan’s entire odyssean m.o. This is an epic film with an epic cast, on epic sets, with epic visual effects, soundtracked by an epic score. Even Odysseus’ loyal pooch Argos was probably the oldest living dog of his era! And nothing sticks out awkwardly just to add to the gargantuanness. Every piece of this movie, no matter how major or minor, is there to shoot its meaning directly into our souls.
They Are Merely Players: Is Matt Damon now the gold standard for Odysseus? Does Anne Hathaway’s Penelope one-up everyone? Is Tom Holland’s Telemachus simply undeniable? As far as the acting is concerned, basically the entire cast performed their parts more or less exactly as I expected them to, and they all acquitted themselves quite well. I kinda wish at least one performance had been much more unpredictable so that I could say something weirder, but I’m not complaining. Sometimes meeting expectations is exactly how you must rise to the occasion.
How’s Your Appetite?: You know what else blew me away? The scene when Circe (Samantha Morton) turns Odysseus’ men into swine. The warping of their faces into porcine mugs is some legitimately groovy body horror. And the rest of the visual effects are similarly creative and effective at conveying the sense that human existence is totally helpless.
A Word From the Head Honcho: As I wrap up this review, let me end on a theme that this film underlines over and over: Zeus’ Law. The idea is that any visitor in your home could be a god in disguise, so you really ought to treat them with hospitality. This is a lesson that transcends all religions and societies, and it goes a long way towards explaining why Odysseus is able to last as long as he does. The Greek gods may have been petty and cruel, but I nevertheless hope that plenty of moviegoers end up taking Zeus’ Law to heart.

The Odyssey is Recommended If You Like: Rereading books you read in high school, Ray Harryhausen, Cecil B. DeMille

Grade: 4 out of 5 Suitors

Shall We ‘Burn’ with the ‘Evil Dead’ and the ‘Sex Pass,’ ‘Gail’?

Leave a comment

A Collage of Screenshots of the Two Movies Discussed in This Review (CREDIT: Warners Bros./Screenshot; Sony Pictures Classics/Screenshot)

Starring: Souheila Yacoub, Tandi Wright, Hunter Doohan, Luciane Buchanan, Erroll Shand, Maude Davey, George Pullar

Director: Sébastien Vaniček

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: July 10, 2026 (Theaters)

Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass

Starring: Zoey Deutch, Jon Hamm, John Slattery, Sabrina Impacciatore, Ben Wang, Miles Gutierrez-Riley, Joe Lo Truglio, Mather Zickel, Ken Marino, Tobie Windham, Fred Melamed, Michael Cassidy

Director: David Wain

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: July 10, 2026 (Theaters)

Okay, I suppose it’s time for another round of movie reviewing that is driven by the question: would I like to live in the world of this movie?

More

What Can ‘Jackass: Best and Last’ Do for You?

Leave a comment

I’m going to tell my kids that these were the Olsen Twins (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Christ Pontius, Jason “Wee Man” Acuña, Preston Lacy, Dave England, “Danger Ehren” McGhehey, Sean “Poopies” McInerney, Zach Holmes, Jasper Dolphin, Rachel Wolfson, Compston “Dark Shark” Wilson

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 26, 2026 (Theaters)

Jackass: Best and Last had me thinking a lot about Time. Of course, I thought about how it was Time for Johnny Knoxville and his associates to wrap things up. And of course I also thought about the Great Passage of Time as exemplified by the sampling of vintage stunts on display in this film alongside the brand new shenanigans. But I also thought about how pondering the True Nature of Time can feel so sublimely overwhelming, especially in the context of inserting surprising objects into your orifices. I feel myself approaching Union with the Cosmos thanks to all this ponderation.

Grade: 14774 Larrys out of 21111 Prostates

Time to Assess ‘She’s the He’, ‘Stop! That! Train!’, ‘Power Ballad’, and ‘Carolina Caroline’

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Obscured Releasing/Screenshot

She’s the He

Starring: Misha Osherovich, Nico Carney, Suzanne Cryer, Malia Pyles, Mark Indelicato, Emmett Preciado, Tatiana Ringsby, Aparna Nancherla

Director: Siobhan McCarthy

Running Time: 81 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 5, 2026 (Theaters)

Stop! That! Train!

Starring: Ginger Minj, Jujubee, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Latrice Royale, Marty Lauter, Monét X Change, Symone, RuPaul Charles, Rachel Bloom, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nicole Richie,  Raven-Symoné, Michelle Visage, Chris Parnell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Charo, Brian Jordan Alvarez, Natasha Leggero, Drew Droege, Joel McHale, Guy Branum, Daniel Franzese, Riki Lindhome, Mayan Lopez, Evan Mulrooney, Missi Pyle, Jerry O’Connell, June Diane Raphael, Lisa Rinna, Jai Rodriguez, Matt Rogers, Paul Scheer, Nicole Sullivan, Angeria Paris VanMicheals

Director: Adam Shankman

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 12, 2026 (Theaters)

Power Ballad

Starring: Paul Rudd, Nick Jonas, Peter McDonald, Marcella Plunkett, Beth Fallon, Jack Reynor, Havana Rose Liu, Sophie Vavasseur

Director: John Carney

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: May 29, 2026 (Theaters)

Carolina Caroline

Starring: Samara Weaving, Kyle Gallner, Jon Gries, Kyra Sedgwick

Director: Adam Carter Rehmeier

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 5, 2026 (Theaters)

Okay, here’s my directive: catch up on my thoughts of movies I’ve seen recently but haven’t fully reviewed yet. For this roundup, I’m going to quickly answer the question: Does this movie live up to its title?

More

‘Maddie’s Secret’ and ‘Rose of Nevada’ Are Surprisingly Satisfying Back-to-Back

Leave a comment

A Rose with any other Secret… (CREDIT: 1-2 Special; Magnolia Pictures/Screenshot)

Maddie’s Secret

Starring: John Early, Kate Berlant, Eric Rahill, Kristen Johnston, Claudia O’Doherty, Conner O’Malley, Vanessa Bayer, Chris Bauer, Nate Varrone, Pat Regan, Frankie Quiñones, Merrick McCartha

Director: John Early

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 19, 2026 (Theaters)

Rose of Nevada

Starring: George MacKay, Callum Turner, Rosalind Eleazar, Francis Magee, Mary Woodvine, Edward Rowe, Adrian Rawlins, Yana Penrose, Emily Daglish-Laine, Mae Voogd

Director: Mark Jenkin

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 19, 2026 (Theaters)

Maddie’s Secret and Rose of Nevada are two indie flicks that arrived in American theaters on the exact same date (6/19/26) and that both lasered in on something very specific in my personality, and I think that everybody who reads my words should know that. The former, in which John Early writes, directs, and stars at the nexus of food-content parody and melodramatically open-minded storytelling is perfectly queer in a way that just feels so right to me as a big-hearted pop culture obsessive (who just so happens to be straight). Meanwhile, the latter is about a boat that inexplicably goes back in time, with correspondingly disorienting sound design. It’s a trip that I imagine I won’t ever stop fully ruminating upon. So now you know all that about me! And the more you know… 

Grades:
Maddie’s Secret: 4 Recipes out of 5 Secrets
Rose of Nevada: 444 Roses out of 555 Infinity Nevadas

The ‘Supergirl’ Movie Wasn’t Particularly Great, But That’s Okay

Leave a comment

Super-must love dogs (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)

Starring: Milly Alcock, Matthias Schoenaerts, Eve Ridley, Jason Momoa, David Krumholtz, Emily Beecham, David Corenswet

Director: Craig Gillespie

Running Time: 108 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 26, 2026 (Theaters)

The 2026 movie version of Supergirl indubitably disappointed me, but not in a way that made me super-duper angry. More like in a way that made me go, “Oh, well. You live and you learn.” At least she had pretty good taste in music. And I’m certainly glad I saw it in a theater despite the disappointment. Which in a way is its own sort of superpower, don’t ya think? Really makes you think, huh.

Grade: More Znore Than Zoar

‘Minions & Monsters’ is an Ode to Joys of Cinema

1 Comment

The Minions finally made a movie! (CREDIT: Illumination & Universal Pictures)

Starring: Pierre Coffin, Trey Parker, Allison Janney, Christoph Waltz, Jesse Eisenberg, Jeff Bridges, Zoey Deutch, Bobby Moynihan, Phil LaMarr, George Lucas

Director: Pierre Coffin

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: PG for Incorrigibly Rude Humor and Unbound Comic Mayhem

Release Date: July 1, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: You might think you know everything about the Minions, but you know NOTHING! Well, not nothing. Just not quite everything. You see, those blabbering yellow pills (voiced as usual by Pierre Coffin) who are most famous for serving the evil mastermind Gru have actually consisted of multiple tribes over the centuries. And as Minions & Monsters reveals, one of those tribes played a major part in the early days of Hollywood cinema. That’s because one Minion named James is quite the visionary, and his Minion buddies Henry and the hard-of-hearing Ed are eager to collaborate with him to produce a monster movie opus. Fortunately, a veteran director named Max (Christoph Waltz) truly believes in them. Less fortunately, though, the film studio head brothers (both voiced by Jeff Bridges) are only intermittently supportive. So James, Henry, and Ed journey off on their own to summon actual monstrous beasts with the help of a miniature Cthulhu-type named Goomi (Trey Parker). That’s sure to guarantee some fabulous footage, but it could also result in a full-blown apocalypse.

What Made an Impression?: Cinema Paradise: M&Ms is hardly the first kid-friendly animated movie to feature references to the earliest days of cinema, but when the Minions are involved, those references skyrocket to another level. Saying “Bello” to the likes of  Méliès, Casablanca, and the Lumière brothers guarantees that the culture clash combination is just as bizarrely perfect as chocolate, peanut butter, and bananas. And then there’s the Minion version of an iconic scene from Citizen Kane, which is positively transcendent in its potty-mouthed simplicity.
Pushing the Limits: Speaking of potty mouths, Minions & Monsters really pushes the limits of the PG rating in a way that I suspect and hope the rascally youths in the audience will fully appreciate. The comic mayhem features plenty of typical physical gags: the eye pokes, the clubs to the head, the vaporizations. But then they take it a step further with a beheading! And one film noir homage lets slip a bit of profanity that I previously thought was reserved for PG-13 or higher. I gasped, only to be immediately comforted by just how playful this envelope-pushing was.
Supporting Report: So, the Minions are of course as delightful as ever, but what about everyone else in this extravaganza? Well, the aforementioned Bridges and Waltz provide solid color to the 1920s setting, while Parker certainly goes for it as a dinky-voiced beastie. But the top non-Minion highlight for me would have to be an adorably strange subplot with Jesse Eisenberg as a robot and Zoey Deutch as an activist that answers a question we never knew we needed to have the answer to, i.e., what if The Day the Earth Stood Still were about the fight for women’s suffrage? We could use that same sort of energy when conquering similar real-world struggles.

Minions & Monsters is Recommended If You Like: Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, A Trip to the Moon, The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station, Bananas

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Kaiju

Older Entries