‘Abigail’ Takes a Few Bites, and It Sure Gets Messy

April 18, 2024

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Isn’t she lovely! (CREDIT: Bernard Walsh/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Alisha Weir, Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, William Catlett, Kevin Durand, Angus Cloud, Giancarlo Esposito

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R for Buckets of Blood, and Even Some Guts, and All the Attendant F-Bombs

Release Date: April 19, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A ragtag group of criminals who are the best at what they do are assembled for a seemingly simple job: kidnap 12-year-old ballerina Abigail (Alisha Weir) and demand a $50 million ransom from her very powerful father. They hole up in a mansion for what’s meant to be a straightforward babysitting gig and assume Rat Pack-inspired codenames to hide their true identities. But that’s not amore, because it soon becomes clear that they’re in much more than they’ve bargained for when Abigail reveals the full extent of her identity. Could it be that this crew has more in common that they realize and that they might just have the right pop culture-inspired know-how to escape this house of horrors? Considering that Abigail was directed by the savvy team behind Ready or Not and the last couple of Screams, signs point to yes!

What Made an Impression?: Twist Premise: If you’ve ever listened to the podcast Scott Hasn’t Seen, then you may have encountered a pet theory of its co-host Scott Aukerman. The gist is that movies shouldn’t have titles, but instead just be identified by numbers, e.g. “Movie #10,607.” Aukerman’s point is that it’s best for audiences to experience movies with absolutely zero expectations and therefore maximum potential for surprise. If that idea appeals to you, then you should stop reading this review RIGHT NOW if you have any interest in seeing Abigail. But if you already regularly go to the movie theater or watch TV, then chances are you’ve already seen the ubiquitous trailer, which gives away the big twist at the heart of the concept. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing about the title dancer’s bloodsucking tendencies when entering the theater, but it is worth noting that the script doesn’t rush into the reveal. I loved seeing the Abigail trailer as often as I did, but it would’ve been nice to have been able to test out Mr. Aukerman’s theory.
Let’s Make a Deal: When Abigail shows what appears to be its full hand, it turns into a full-bore cat-and-mouse most dangerous game as a little predator nibbles away at her prey. But it actually has another ace or two up its sleeve. You see, Abigail’s father is a notorious gangster businessman whose elimination of his enemies has become a bit of an urban legend. Or it would be a legend, if it weren’t all true. That wrinkle might make it seem like the bloodlust is even more inescapable, but it also opens up some avenues for wheeling and dealing. Abigail may love playing with her food, but there are certain frustrations that come with being a preteen for centuries. And while you’d be wise to be skeptical about her or anyone else of her ilk when they say they’ll let you go, their offers do make for some intriguing negotiation.
Theater of Blood: With her levitational abilities, bone-twisting dance skills, and telepathic manipulation, Abigail’s powers are about as boundless as you could possibly fear they’d be. But it’s essential for vampires to have some vulnerability, and that’s where Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett excel. Let’s just say, if you manage to expose Abigail to sunlight or poke her with a stake, she does not go gently. If you enjoyed the death scenes in Ready or Not, then you’ll lap up Abigail as quite the encore. Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett aren’t reinventing the vampire wheel here (who could at this point?), but they’re certainly pouring all of their blood and guts into it.

Abigail is Recommended If You Like: Ready or Not, And Then There Were None, The blood elevator from The Shining

Grade: 3 out of 5 Tutus

‘Scream VI’ Takes as Many Bites Out of The Big Apple as Possible

March 8, 2023

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Scream If You Know What You’re Doing March 10 (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Spyglass Media Group)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Courteney Cox, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Mason Gooding, Hayden Panettiere, Dermot Mulroney, Devyn Nekoda, Liana Liberato, Jack Champion, Josh Segarra, Samara Weaving, Tony Revolori, Henry Czerny, Roger L. Jackson

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: R for Sharp Weapons and Blunt Profanity

Release Date: March 10, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The Ghostface Killer is a virus that simply refuses to die. After 2022’s Scream rebooted the mayhem in Woodsboro with as much wit and fury as ever, the survivors are finally heading out of California and all the way across the country to New York City. Tara (Jenna Ortega), Mindy (Jasmin Savoy Brown), and Chad (Mason Gooding) are in college, while Tara’s big sis Sam (Melissa Barrera) has also settled down in the city to keep an eye on everyone. Yes, horror faithful, it’s true, the new kids have finally inherited the franchise. After taking a scaled-back role in the last outing, Sidney Prescott is finally nowhere to be seen (which is perhaps creatively justifiable, but has more to do with Neve Campbell’s financial dissatisfaction with what she was offered). But there are a couple of legacy characters on hand, with Gail Weathers (Courteney Cox) as indefatigable as ever, and Scream 4 breakout Kirby Reed (Hayden Panettiere) re-emerging as a battle-hardened FBI agent. And those youngsters are going to need all the help they can get, because this might just be the most brutal Ghostface yet.

What Made an Impression?: Scream has always been the most successful self-aware horror franchise, and with the fifth edition, it expanded its scope to reboots and toxic film culture at large. So where does that leave Scream VI to possibly go from here? The short answer: it’s the “sequel to the requel,” which could very well mean a remake of sorts of the first sequel. And like Scream 2, VI has the college setting and the potential for a revenge scheme. Other than that, the plot isn’t exactly repeated, but there’s only so much room to navigate if this series wants to proclaim anything that it hasn’t yet declared.

So with those restrictions in place, VI lives or dies by the strength of its kills and mystery. Regarding the former, it’s stunningly braven. The Ghostface murderers have never been shy about wantonly stabbing their way through the entire run time, but it hits a little differently in a setting as crowded as NYC. When a killer chases Tara and Sam into a bodega and proceeds to mutilate everyone in there, I’m mostly wondering how there aren’t immediately thousands of witnesses. Also, there’s a shotgun behind the counter, which I hope isn’t true of the bodegas I frequent, but now I’m a little concerned. On the other hand, a Ghostface attack on the subway hasn’t changed my mind about that mode of transport – it remains a hellhole that I’ll continue to proudly frequent as often as possible.

And in terms of the mystery, the same cardinal rule still applies: literally anyone could be one of the killers! Sure, the heroes from the previous films are probably exempt from suspicion, although Sam’s backstory as the daughter of O.G. Ghostface Billy Loomis at least teases the possibility that that may not be the case. But other than that, suspicion really is cast on everyone, and I continue to be amazed at this series’ knack for keeping us on our toes. As suspects are eliminated or present seemingly airtight alibis, we’re all left wondering who is possibly left to be the culprit. Without giving anything away, the ultimate reveal is thrilling, stylish, and delightfully choreographed.

But while we’re on the subject of spoilers, I’m happy to give away the fact that Josh Segarra, here introduced as a potential love interest for Sam, is just as much of a sweetie pie as he is on the Comedy Central sitcom The Other Two. (And in the interest of avoiding spoilers, I’ll reiterate that that may or may not have nothing or anything to do with whether or not he could be Ghostface.)

So where does Scream go from here? The floor has thus far proved to be incredibly durable, but can it endure indefinitely? The absence of Sidney is sorely felt, and the dialogue isn’t always as sharp as it’s been in the past, but there’s still plenty to love here. I’m reminded a bit of the Fast and Furious franchise, as Scream is showing off a knack for expansiveness and rebooting beloved characters as needed, although without any room (thus far) for resurrections or redemptions. So maybe Campbell could return some day. Maybe Ghostface will eventually go to space. Maybe there’ll be an avenging protector Ghostface who protects everyone from all the evil Ghostfaces. Whatever direction it goes, I’m pretty sure something interesting will happen.

Scream VI is Recommended If You Like: Taking a chance on a new direction while still maintaining a connection to the past

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Unmaskings

‘Scream’ is Still Nailing the Horror Zeitgeist

January 12, 2022

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Scream 2022 (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jack Quaid, Mikey Madison, Mason Gooding, Dylan Minnette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Marley Shelton, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Kyle Gallner, Sonia Ben Ammar, Roger L. Jackson

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for A Lot of Blood, and a Few Chats About Getting It On

Release Date: January 14, 2022 (Theaters)

The latest Scream movie is the fifth in the slasher series, but it’s not called “Scream 5.” Instead, it’s just called “Scream,” exactly like the very first entry. This is the latest example of an annoying trend in which sequels that also work as reboots to long-running franchises have the exact same title as the original, with 2018’s Halloween perhaps the most notorious example. I had convinced myself not to talk about the title in my review, figuring that it would be more interesting to focus on the content of the actual movie. But then I watched the movie, and it turned out that there’s a very good reason for that recycled title. Because this time around, the Woodsboro stabbing crew is aiming its knife at those franchise “requels” and all the other cinema that inspires a certain breed of toxic fandom.

More than 25 years after the first killing spree, you could be forgiven for wondering how there still could possibly be anyone connected to Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) with enough bloodlust to justify another sequel. The answer is that this time around, the motivation is less logical, and therefore more brutal and disturbing. You know the sorts of people who complain about how the likes of latter-day Star Wars and female-led Ghostbusters have destroyed their childhoods? What if they were so upset that they resorted to murder to set things right? That’s a premise that could conceivably stand on its own as an original horror flick, but it feels all too appropriate that instead it has commandeered one of the most beloved scary movie franchises of all time.

In some ways, this latest Scream is like an original effort, insofar as it focuses on the new faces ahead of the legacy characters much more so than any of the other adventures of Woodsboro. But of course, it’s still very much a part of the franchise insomuch as it follows the formula of a killer (or killers) lurking within a friend group of horny young people while terrorizing them with creepy phone calls. (Roger L. Jackson returns once again as the voice of Ghostface, and his deep cadence sounds a lot like the deep, steady tones of original Scream director Wes Craven, to the point that I wondered if Craven had before his 2015 passing recorded some dialogue to be used later.) Don’t worry too much about staleness, though, as there are some zigs when you expect zags, as characters either don’t know – or don’t care – about the rules that supposedly determine who dies and how in a horror movie. Co-directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett have a knack for keeping audiences on their toes like this, which they demonstrated amply in their 2019 bloodbath Ready or Not.

At times, the acting may skew a little more melodramatic than is advisable, but overall, Scream remains as remarkably fun and fresh as it’s ever been. Where originally there were conversations about how blade-wielders patiently stalk their victims, now we have discussions about how the newest generation of horror tastemakers are enthralled by “elevated horror” like The Babadook and Hereditary, and how long-in-the-tooth franchises need to find that sweet spot of “not too different, not too repetitive” to succeed. Scream 2022 finds that sweet spot, and goes in for the kill.

Scream (2022) is Recommended If You Like: Defending all the Scream sequels, Ready or Not, You’re Next, Talking with your fellow movie -obsessed friends, Film Twitter, Listening to and/or hosting movie podcasts

Grade: 4 out of 5 Requels

‘In the Heights’ Review: Washington Heights is So Hot Right Now

June 9, 2021

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In the Heights (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube Screenshot)

Starring: Anthony Ramos, Melissa Barrera, Corey Hawkins, Leslie Grace, Olga Merediz, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Jimmy Smits, Gregory Diaz IV, Stephanie Beatriz, Dascha Polanco, Noah Catala, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Marc Anthony, Christopher Jackson

Director: Jon M. Chu

Running Time: 143 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Young Adults and Older Adults Dealing with Adult Stuff

Release Date: June 10, 2021 (Theaters and HBO Max)

How could anyone possibly sing and dance on the streets of Manhattan as the temps creep up into the high 90s? This is the conundrum that In the Heights forces us to face. Sure, it’s a musical, and its attendant heightened reality isn’t meant to represent literal truth. But the vibe of this movie-based-on-a-Broadway-show is very much “This is what life is really like in the neighborhood of Washington Heights.” So how to explain it? Well, the heat can make people do some pretty irrational things. And you can get away with a few bouts of illogic here and there if you’re generally focused on friends and family.

So just who are these Washington Heights-ians in the midst of a heat wave and looming blackout in this movie musical based on the stage musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Quiara Alegría Hudes (the latter of whom also wrote the screenplay)? First off, there’s Usnavi (Anthony Ramos), Navi for short, a young bodega owner who’s looking to buy himself a plot of land in the Dominican Republic. Then there’s his teenage cousin Sonny (Gregoy Diaz IV), who could really use some documentation to firm up his immigration status. Also hanging around the bodega is his good buddy Benny (Corey Hawkins), who really ought to make things right with Nina (Leslie Grace), who’s buckling under the pressure of being the first one in her family to make it to college. Most of that pressure is coming from her kind-of pushy dad Kevin (Jimmy Smits), who never met a financial pickle he wouldn’t crunch his way out of. And then strolling right through is Vanessa (Melissa Berrera), who’s keen on starting a fashion design career while also making sure that Navi isn’t too much of a dingus for the two of them to consummate their obvious feelings for each other. Finally, looking over it all with grace and a steady heart is Navi’s abuela Claudia (Olga Merediz). And I cannot fail to mention that LMM is also present on screen as the local shaved ice cart pusher who has an only-in-New York rivalry with the neighborhood Mr. Softee ice cream truck driver (fellow Hamilton alum Christopher Jackson).

This story all plays out via the framing device of Navi telling the tale to a quartet of kids on the beach several years later. And that’s obviously the right sort of vibe. The older generation tells the younger generation stories of their families that happened before they were born so that they know where they came from. And I love to see it, because I am just innately fulfilled by keeping track of how people are related to each other and who’s friends with whom. In the Heights doesn’t need to have song-and-dance numbers to pull off that energy, but because it is a musical, I know that these characters’ familial, romantic, and platonic emotions are indeed larger than life.

Remember at the beginning of this review when I mentioned how senseless it is to be moving your body in the midst of the mucky Manhattan heat? Let me clarify: I’m not mad at In the Heights for that. Sometimes it makes sense to be senseless, especially when you’re in a city that’s not exactly designed to offer relief for that rising mercury AND you’re in the midst of a days-long massive power outage. Hopefully in this situation, you have enough brain cells to take care of what you need to take care of, and the thrill of In the Heights is making sure that these characters maintain the minimum number of brain cells. (Barest of Spoiler Alerts: They do.)

In the Heights is Recommended If You Like: Hamilton, Step Up 3D, Family reunions

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Lottery Tickets