East West Bowl 3: Pro Edition Lineups

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This one is sure to be the most extravagant.

Creme De La Creme, Vanderbilt University
Cosgrove Shumway, Clemson
Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, University of Alabama
Doink Ahanahue, Marshall
Legume Duprix, West Virginia University
Leger Douzable, University of Central Florida
Quisperny G’Dunzoid Sr., Central Connecticut State University
Grunky Peep, Georgia Southern University
D’Brickashaw Ferguson, University of Virginia
Strunk Flugget, University of South Carolina
Stumptavian Roboclick, Grambling State
Cornelius ‘Tank’ Carradine, Florida State University
Vagonius Thicket-Suede, Duke
Marmadune Shazbot, Tulane University
Swordless Mimetown, Jacksonville State University

Prince Amukamara, University of Nebraska
J.R. Junior Juniors Jr., Texas Christian University
Faux Doadles, University of Oregon
Fozzy Whittaker, The University of Texas
Myriad Profiteroles, Utah
Busters Brownce, Illinois State
Turdine Cupcake, Yuniaty (?)
Rerutweeds Myth, University of Washington (“Washingtwon”)
Ishmaa’ily Kitchen, Kent State University
Takittothu’ Limit, College of the Canyons
Snarf Mintz-Plasse, East Los Angeles College
Frostee Rucker, University of Southern California
Splendiferous Finch, Northwestern University
Triple Parakeet-Shoes, Ball State
Logjammer D’Baggagecling, North Texas University
A.A. Ron Rodgers, Cal

Jeffrey Malone’s 50 Favorite TV Shows of All Time

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You can learn a lot about people from their favorite television programs. TV viewing involves spending a lot of time with fictional characters and more or less forming relationships with them. Who we choose to spend our time with says a lot about our own personalities. With that in mind, here are the current standings for my 50 favorite shows of all time.



Señor Chang’s “Shining” Moment

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SPOILER WARNING: This essay discusses in depth the endings of an episode of Community, a 35-year-old movie, and a classic piece of sketch comedy. If you are reading this, you are probably already familiar with Community’s twist. The Shining works perfectly fine even if you know the ending. But if you have not seen the Key & Peele bit yet, do yourself a favor and watch it before reading.

When I took on this assignment, I thought I was going to be able to cover a whole survey of Shining homages. But then I realized that besides Chang’s misadventures in “Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality,” the only other one I am really familiar with is the Key & Peele sketch “Continental Breakfast.” So I looked up some more to make sure that my suspicion of their proliferance was correct. There’s a 2014 IKEA commercial in which a Danny bikes around a store. The Simpsons did it (“Treehouse of Horror V”). So of course Family Guy also did it. There are plenty of directions one can take with a Shining parody: hammy Jack Nicholson impressions, creepy little kid acting, Shelly Duvall’s big eyes, etc. Focusing on a comparison between Community and Key & Peele is instructive because the crux of both homages is the ending and what they say about the nature of reality.


Watch And/Or Listen to This: East West Bowl 3: Pro Edition

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Shit just got real.

Watch And/Or Listen to This: Key & Peele’s Family Matters

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This was the best Key & Peele sketch of 2014.

2013 East/West Bowl Lineups

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Let’s see if they can put last year’s spectacle to shame:

Coznesster Smiff, Rutgers University
Elipses Corter, University of Alabama
Nyquillus Dillwad, LSU
Bismo Funyuns, Florida State University
DeCatholac Mango, Georgia Tech University
Mergatroid Skittle, University of Louisville
Quiznatodd Bidness, University of Tennessee
D’Pez Poopsie, Ole Miss
Quackadilly Blip, Auburn University
Goolius Boozler, The U
Bisquiteen Trisket, University of Michigan
Fartrell Cluggins, University of Arkansas
Blyrone Blashinton, Syracuse
Cartoons Plural, Virginia Tech
Jammie Jammie-Jammie, The Ohio State University

Equine Ducklings, Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis
DaHistorious LaMystorius, Utah State University
Ewokoniad Sigourneth Juniorstein, Oklahoma State University
Eqqsquizitine Buble-Schwinslow, University of Nebraska
Huka’Lakanaka Hakanakaheekalucka’Hukahakafaka, University of Hawaii
King Prince Chambermaid, Baylor University
LaDennifer JaDaniston, University of Colorado
Ladadadaladadadadada Dala-Dadaladaladalada, University of Arizona
Harvard University, Devry University
— — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. ., Army Navy Surplus Store
Wing Dings*, Online Classes
Firstname Lastname, College University
God, Homeschool
Squeeeeeeeeeeps, Santa Monica College
Benedict Cumberbatch, Oxford University
A.A. Ron Balakay, Morehouse College

*-If anyone knows how to use Wingdings on WordPress, let me know!

Key & Peele: Season 2 Sketch of the Year

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“East/West Bowl”

“East/West Bowl” has been continuously growing in popularity since its initial airing back in October, as it has been linked to and discussed (often as it were a real thing) on football fan forums.  This sketch takes one of the simplest, but also one of the most reliable, comedy premises around – a list of silly names – and makes it so much more brilliant than one would think such a thing could ever possibly be.  Clearly it is more than just a silly list.  It has caught on because there are a lot of actual football players whose names are hardly any less ridiculous than the ones in the sketch.  It was just a matter of time before they would be called out on their ridiculousness.  Unlike most silly list-based sketches, “East/West Bowl” is filled with details.  It is quite intricate despite how simple it appears to be on first viewing.  Not only are the names silly, but so are the hairstyles, the voices, and the background photos.  Each member of the silly list gets his own unique characterization.  You don’t get all that out of most silly lists.

Runner-Up: “LMFAO’s Non-Stop Party”

The lyrics of this parody LMFAO dance-pop ditty are hilarious (and rhythmic) enough on their own without the sketch needing anything more.  At one point, the song just becomes a list of random crap (iPad, Facebook, party time, skintight jeans…) and the roll call of cities where the party is taking place eventually grow to include more unusual options such as Newark, Plano, Lincoln, and Lubbock until ultimately it could be any destination as they simply repeat “city, city, city, city.”  That would all be good enough, but this sketch is also about the existential crisis that LMFAO face when they realize the party they are at is a Groundhog Day-style endless loop.  This is why we have Key and Peele – they give us scenes inspired by Sartre featuring today’s biggest pop stars.

Best Episode of the Season: Key & Peele Season 2

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Season Analysis: Key & Peele betrayed a little bit of exhaustion in its second batch of episodes – it’s hard to continually pull off the unexpected in comedy.  But it was never really bad, and the best of Season 2 reached even greater heights than that of Season 1.


“Episode Two”
Most episodes of Key & Peele do not have an overarching theme (at least not one that is much different than the overall theme of the series), so one excellent sketch can make the difference in an episode being the best of the season. This was the case with Episode 2 of Season 2, which featured the already iconic “East/West Bowl” sketch.  I’ll get to my explanation of that bit’s greatness in my Best Sketch of the Season post, but for now I’ll mention Keegan and Jordan’s stand-up segment that immediately followed.  Keegan’s physical reaction to D’Brickashaw Ferguson’s mother’s explanation that “D’Brickashaw” is a family name was a thing of beauty.  Although the sketch seemed surreal, the actual people they mentioned with names like “L–a” underscored just how much it was in actuality too real.

The Funniest Thing I Saw in 2012

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Here’s the funniest thing I saw in 2012 (also the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while):

2012 East/West Bowl Lineups


In case you were wondering, here are the lineups for the 2012 Annual East/West Collegiate Bowl:

D’Marcus Williums, University of Georgia
T.J. Juckson, Wayne State University
T’Variuness King, Merrimack College
Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, University of Miami
D’Squarius Green, Jr., University of Notre Dame
Ibrahim Moizoos, University of Tennessee at Chatanooga
Jackmerius Tacktheratrix, Michigan State University
D’Isiah T. Billings-Clyde, Coastal Carolina University
D’Jasper Probincrux III, South Carolina State University
Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz, East Carolina University
Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, University of Middle Tennessee
Davoin Shower-Handel, University of Southern Mississippi
Hingle McCringleberry, Penn State University
L’Carpetron Dookmarriot, Florida Atlantic University
J’Dinkalage Morgoone, University of South Florida
Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon, California University of Pennsylvania

Saggitariutt Jefferspin, Texas A&M
D’Glester Hardunkichud, University of Wisconsin
Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splatt, Saskatchewan University
Quatro Quatro, San Jose State University
Ozamataz Buckshank, Stanford University
Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, Jones College
Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter, University of Northern Arizona
X-Wing @Aliciousness, Missouri Western State University
Sequester Grundelplith M.D., Adams State
Scoish Velociraptor Maloish, South Dakota State University
T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V, Albion College
EEEEE EEEEEEEEE, San Diego State University
Donkey Teeth, Boise State University
Torque [Construction Noise] Lewith, Nevada State Penitentiary
[The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop], University of Missouri-Columbia
Dan Smith, BYU

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