VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 1/31/15

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Each week, I check out VH1′s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
2. Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”
3. Nick Jonas – “Jealous”
4. Sam Smith – “I’m Not the Only One”
5. Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
6. Hozier – “Take Me to Church”
7. Selena Gomez – “The Heart Wants What It Wants”
8. Meghan Trainor – “Lips Are Movin”
9. Ella Henderson – “Ghost”
10. Lilly Wood & Robin Schulz – “Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix)”
11. Alesso ft. Tove Lo – “Heroes (We Could Be)”
12. OneRepublic – “I Lived”
13. Fifth Harmony – “Sledgehammer”
14. Fall Out Boy – “Centuries”
15. Hoodie Allen ft. Ed Sheeran – “All About It”
16. Pitbull & Ne-Yo – “Time of Our Lives”
17. Matt Nathanson ft. Lolo – “Headphones”
18. Maroon 5 – “Sugar”
19. Ingrid Michaelson – “Afterlife”
20. Charli XCX ft. Rita Ora – “Doing It”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Take Me to Church
2. Blank Space
3. Doing It
4. Jealous
5. Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix)
6. Ghost
7. Uptown Funk
8. Centuries
9. Time of Our Lives
10. I’m Not the Only One
11. Heroes (We Could Be)
12. The Heart Wants What It Wants
13. Sledgehammer
14. Sugar
15. Afterlife
16. I Lived
17. Lips Are Movin
18. All About It
19. Thinking Out Loud
20. Headphones

The Best Albums of 2014 That I Listened To

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D'Angelo_-_Black_Messiah_Album_Cover

As my best albums list is the “Best Albums I Listened To” as opposed to just the “Best Albums,” it is more pointedly subjective than my other best of lists. I usually do not listen to enough albums each year to really be able to definitively say which are the absolute greatest. Thus, this year, instead of focusing on objective critical analysis, I have decided to write about my own personal experiences with each of these entries.

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Watch And/Or Listen to This: East West Bowl 3: Pro Edition

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Shit just got real.

Best Songs of 2014

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All songs on this list were released as singles in 2014, or late 2013.

Sia_Chandelier_Doorway

1. Sia – “Chandelier” – In crafting an absolutely legit party stomper, the winkingly camera-shy Australian chanteuse tweaked the standard party pop formula with a devastatingly effective post-chorus about when the party ends. This is self-examination writ large, grabbing listeners’ ears and demanding empathy.
2. DJ Snake & Lil’ Jon – “Turn Down for What” – The controlled chaos of trap music was all over the place in 2014, and this tribute to keeping up that loud was its orgasmic pinnacle.
3. Ariana Grande ft. The Weeknd – “Love Me Harder” – A swirl of conflicting or compatible romantic emotions made for the most passionate R&B duet in ages.
4. Katy Perry ft. Juicy J – “Dark Horse” – With clutch production from Dr. Luke, Max Martin, and Cirkut, Katy trapped her fans with an empowering edge.
5. Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX – “Fancy” – A pale white Australian may not be what most people think of when it comes to hip-hop, but Iggy brings a vitally unique voice to the game.
6. Lana Del Rey – “West Coast” – Ms. Del Rey escorted us through the ethereal experience of the year.
7. Hozier – “Take Me to Church” – A social consciousness in the face of religious strictures proved once again to be a recipe for great music.
8. Charli XCX – “Break the Rules” – A dance punk anthem for the ages.
9. Milky Chance – “Stolen Dance” – This quirky, folky curiosity stuck in the ears thanks to the unique vocalizations of Clemens Rehbein.
10. Charli XCX – “Boom Clap” – Charli XCX has quite a way with big dumb choruses.
11. Lorde – “Yellow Flicker Beat” – It’s not very often that a movie gets a theme song that matches it perfectly; cherish it, Mockingjay.
12. Royal Blood – “Figure It Out” – Royal Blood rode their absolutely bloody killer garage rock into the 2014 scene.
13. Big Data ft. Joywave – “Dangerous” – A pounding riff and crackling percussion convey the sense of overwhelming surveillance that Big Data is getting at.
14. St. Vincent – “Birth in Reverse” – Among many superlative qualities, the debut single from Annie Clark’s self-titled album featured the best opening lines of the year (“Oh what an ordinary day/Take out the garbage, masturbate”).
15. Banks – “Begging for Thread” – I think the slinky-voiced Banks really meant to say “I think you secretly knew” instead of “Secretly I think you knew,” but those syntactical tricks are what make us love song lyrics.
16. Taylor Swift – “Blank Space” – The same shit that Taylor’s always been singing about, but much more self-aware and much snappier.
17. Calvin Harris – “Summer” – This track may be repetitive, but that repetition so strongly captures a feeling of passion awakened but not quite fully realized.
18. Ariana Grande ft. Zedd – “Break Free” – The incomprehensibility of Ariana Grande is part of her appeal. Also, that spacey electronic Zedd beat looks good on her.
19. U2 – “The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)” – Crunchier and punchier than U2 have been in decades.
20. Cold War Kids – “All This Could Be Yours” – The Cold War Kids got their sound just right with a driving piano riff that led right into an oh-oh-oh chorus.
21. The Black Keys – “Fever” – The psychedelic turn that we surely all knew we needed from Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney.
22. Fitz and the Tantrums – “Fools Good” – Soul music is about baring the soul; Fitz and the Tantrums nailed it here with this ode to the absence of love.
23. Tove Lo – “Habits (Stay High)” – Music for recovering from or refueling for partying.
24. Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj – “Bang Bang” – The double entendres are barely hidden in this bouncy soul-pop throwback.
25. Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne – “Rather Be” – Every year deserves a paean to healthy romantic love; Clean Bandit delivered it in 2014.

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 1/27/15

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Each week, I check out FUSE’s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”
2. Hozier – “Take Me to Church”
3. Nick Jonas – “Jealous”
4. Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
5. Ariana Grande ft. The Weeknd – “Love Me Harder”
6. Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
7. Selena Gomez – “The Heart Wants What It Wants”
8. Sam Smith – “I’m Not the Only One”
9. Meghan Trainor – “Lips Are Movin”
10. Alesso ft. Tove Lo – “Heroes (We Could Be)”
11. Fall Out Boy – “Centuries”
12. Big Sean ft. E40 – “IDFWU”
13. I LOVE MAKONNEN ft. Drake – “Tuesday (Remix)”
14. Beyoncé – “7/11”
15. Rae Sremmurd – “No Type”
16. Fifth Harmony – “Sledgehammer”
17. Ella Henderson – “Ghost”
18. One Direction – “Night Changes”
19. OneRepublic – “I Lived”
20. Pitbull & Ne-Yo – “Time of Our Lives”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Love Me Harder
2. Take Me to Church
3. Blank Space
4. Jealous
5. Ghost
6. Uptown Funk
7. Centuries
8. IDFWU
9. No Type
10. Time of Our Lives
11. 7/11
12. I’m Not the Only One
13. Heroes (We Could Be)
14. The Heart Wants What It Wants
15. Tuesday (Remix)
16. Sledgehammer
17. I Lived
18. Night Changes
19. Lips Are Movin
20. Thinking Out Loud

Mulaney 5.11: “Power Moves”

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I think John Mulaney looks good in a tank top. http://www.starpulse.com/news/Jeffrey_Malone/2015/01/26/mulaney-season-1-episode-11-recap-he-h

Bob’s Burgers 5.10: “Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise”

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Bob is a Belcher family member, but he’s ranked like fourth or fifth: http://www.starpulse.com/news/Jeffrey_Malone/2015/01/26/bobs-burgers-season-5-episode-10-recap

SNL Recap January 24, 2015: Blake Shelton

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SNL: Blake Shelton, Cecily Strong (CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot)

This review was originally posted on Starpulse in January 2015.

The last time a male country music star hosted “SNL,” the results were a lot more interesting.  The thing is, Tim McGraw has much more acting experience than Blake Shelton, and thus he was a lot more comfortable branching out home from his country persona than Shelton was in this episode.  “The Voice” judge mostly stuck to variations of himself or generic roles.  This was fine for ensuring a show that ran smoothly, but it also prevented his appearance from being a truly memorable one.

Inside the NFL – This take on the New England Patriots deflated ball scandal made the weird decision of focusing on a whiny Tom Brady.  Brady is sometimes criticized for being an arrogant pretty boy, which is basically the antithesis of what Taran Killam was playing him as.  The idea may have been that in playing dumb, he was being someone he clearly wasn’t, but that didn’t really stick as comedy.  Luckily, Bobby Moynihan saved the day as Dougie Spoons, one of his classic hype men characters.  The “A Few Good Men”  parody was unexpected, but more or less successful. C+

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What Won TV? – January 18-January 24, 2015

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Mike Tyson Mysteries
Monday – The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore
Tuesday – The 2nd half hour of Parks and Recreation
Wednesday – Man Seeking Woman
Thursday – Portlandia
Friday – “Bird Up” (The Eric Andre Show) is the worst show on television, and the best episode of TV of 2015. (Honorable Mention: Reggie Watts and the Coachella Initiative on Comedy Bang! Bang!)
Saturday – Who let Riblet back in?

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 1/24/15

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Each week, I check out VH1′s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”
2. Nick Jonas – “Jealous”
3. Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
4. Sam Smith – “I’m Not the Only One”
5. Hozier – “Take Me to Church”
6. Taylor Swift – “Lips Are Movin”
7. Selena Gomez – “The Heart Wants What It Wants”
8. Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
9. Ella Henderson – “Ghost”
10. Alesso ft. Tove Lo – “Heroes (We Could Be)”
11. Lilly Wood & Robin Schulz – “Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix)”
12. Fifth Harmony – “Sledgehammer”
13. OneRepublic – “I Lived”
14. Maroon 5 – “Animals”
15. Ingrid Michaelson – “Afterlife”
16. Hoodie Allen ft. Ed Sheeran – “All About It”
17. Fall Out Boy – “Centuries”
18. Matt Nathanson ft. Lolo – “Headphones”
19. Pitbull & Ne-Yo – “Time of Our Lives”
20. Maroon 5 – “Sugar”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Take Me to Church
2. Blank Space
3. Jealous
4. Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix)
5. Ghost
6. Uptown Funk
7. Centuries
8. I’m Not the Only One
9. Heroes (We Could Be)
10. Time of Our Lives
11. Animals
12. The Heart Wants What It Wants
13. Sugar
14. Sledgehammer
15. Afterlife
16. I Lived
17. Lips Are Movin
18. All About It
19. Thinking Out Loud
20. Headphones

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