Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
February 20, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Baskets, Bob's Burgers, Jeopardy!, Man Seeking Woman, New Girl, Saturday Night Live, SNL, The Young Pope Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – The Young Pope is not so young anymore.
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Man Seeking Woman – I think he found her..
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – SNL Vintage
February 19, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
3. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
8. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
9. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
10. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
11. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
12. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
13. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
14. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
15. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
16. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
17. Nickelback – “Feed the Machine”
18. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
19. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
20. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
21. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
22. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
23. The xx – “On Hold”
24. Skillet – “Stars”
25. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Love is Mystical
5. Unsteady
6. Heavydirtysoul
7. Somebody Else
8. On Hold
9. Ride
10. Heathens
11. How Did You Love
12. Wish I Knew You
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Feed the Machine
16. Believer
17. Take It All Back
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Stars
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker
February 19, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Scars to Your Beautiful Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Lady GaGa – “Million Reasons”
5. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
6. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
7. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
8. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
9. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
10. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
11. Drake – “Fake Love”
12. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
13. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
14. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
15. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
16. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
17. Aminé – “Caroline”
18. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
20. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side to Side
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. Closer
8. Million Reasons
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. Paris
12 Bad and Boujee
13. Bounce Back
14. I Don’t Wanna Live (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. Bad Things
16. Let Me Love You
17. Caroline
18. Fake Love
19. Don’t Wanna Know
20. Mercy
February 19, 2017
Best of 2016, Best of TV 2016, Television Atlanta, B.A.N., Baskets, Bojack Horseman, Fish Out of Water, Nobody Beats the Biebs, One Man's Trash, The Chris Gethard Show, Uncle Dad Leave a comment
Oh hey, guys. If you’re looking for a super awesome televisual playlist that satisfactorily captures 2016, here you go:
1. Atlanta – “Nobody Beats the Biebs”
2. Baskets – “Uncle Dad”
3. BoJack Horseman – “Fish Out of Water”
4. Atlanta – “B.A.N.”
5. The Chris Gethard Show – “One Man’s Trash”
6. Mr. Robot – “m4ster-s1ave.aes”
7. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story – “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia”
8. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story – “The Race Card”
9. Black Mirror – “San Junipero”
10. Comedy Bang! Bang! – “Reggie Watts Wears a Purple and Yellow Quilted Sweatshirt”
11. Baskets – “Easter in Bakersfield”
12. Documentary Now! – “Juan Likes Rice and Chicken”
13. The Grinder – “For the People”
14. Man Seeking Woman – “Card”
15. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story – “A Jury in Jail”
16. New Girl – “Landing Gear”
17. Search Party – “The House of Uncanny Truths”
18. RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars – “Revenge of the Queens”
19. Better Call Saul – “Nailed”
20. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – “Kimmy Meets a Celebrity!”
February 16, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Andy Lau, Jing Tian, Lu Han, Matt Damon, Pedro Pascal, The Great Wall, Willem Dafoe, Zhang Yimou Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in February 2017.
Starring: Matt Damon, Jing Tian, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe, Andy Lau, Lu Han
Director: Zhang Yimou
Running Time: 104 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Cutting Away Right Before the Blood and Guts Spill Out
Release Date: February 17, 2017
Matt Damon’s prominence in The Great Wall’s ad campaign has caused a bit of a fuss. Is this yet another example of the White Savior complex, come to save the helpless foreigners? In the actual film, Damon is not the leader of the Chinese army that the promos seem to make him out to be. But he does save the day. Although he kind of does so accidentally. Except by the end when he knows exactly what he’s doing. So… you could aim your social justice call-to-arms against The Great Wall, but it would be an awfully silly flick to focus on.
Damon’s presence is essentially an afterthought, despite him being one of the main characters. He may have been part of the story from conception, but this smacks of a business rather than artistic decision, regardless of intention. The Great Wall is already a hit in China, and it would be nice if it could add some bank in the U.S. (and Latin America, thus Damon’s partner is played Chilean-born Pedro Pascal of Game of Thrones and Narcos).
If the white faces are there to add star power, it does not quite work out that way, perhaps because director Zhang Yimou (Hero, Raise the Red Lantern, House of Flying Daggers) does not have much experience outside of Chinese martial arts flicks. So the action is rousingly shot (Damon’s archery skills are thrillingly put on display throughout), but the English speakers find their charisma diminished. Luckily, Jing Tian, as the Commander of the Chinese Army, carries a lot of the heavy lifting of dialogue and plot progression, and she knows exactly what she is doing.
To get to the actual meat of this story, this film is concerned very little about cultural imperialism but a great deal about B-movie monsters. It posits that the Great Wall of China was built to keep out not invading Mongol hordes, but rather mythical lizard creatures that indiscriminately eat everything in their path. The character design and relentless ferociousness are fun in a schlocky, Midnight Movie Madness sort of way. (Thank you, Cinematic Gods, that they are not the umpteenth version of giant bug aliens.)
The sci-fi B-movies of the fifties and sixties represented the cultural fears of that era (particularly, nuclear holocaust and the insidious creep of communism). If we apply that same rubric to The Great Wall, then what does China fear in 2017? As it becomes a bigger and bigger player in the world economy, is there concern that the Chinese identity will be eaten up by Western hegemony? Or perhaps these monsters are the Chinese id, and this is a warning to everyone else of the Red Dragon’s Rise. Alas, they prove to have one key vulnerability that ensures their demise, just as this film ends up being a little too disposable to pay it much heed.
The Great Wall is Recommended If You Like: Godzilla, the archery scenes from Lord of the Rings, the Brood from X-Men
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Grenades
February 15, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews A Cure for Wellness, Dane DeHaan, Gore Verbinski, Jason Isaacs, Mia Goth Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in February 2017.
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs, Mia Goth
Director: Gore Verbinski
Running Time: 146 Minutes
Rating: R for Doing Everything It Can to Get Under Your Skin
Release Date: February 17, 2017
A Cure for Wellness is the type of movie I would like to rate 5/5 on the strength of its ambition and singularity of vision but that I must admit its reach exceeds its grasp. It feels like the film that director Gore Verbinski (The Ring, Rango, Pirates of the Caribbean) has been waiting his whole career to make. Verbinski has been behind enough hits to have sufficient cachet for a risk here and there, but how he ever convinced a major studio to produce something as dark, disturbing, and inscrutable as Wellness is could prove to be one of the great mysteries in the annals of cinema history.
The whole affair starts out sufficiently intriguing and easy-enough-to-follow: rising financial executive Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) has been sent to the Swiss Alps to retrieve his CEO, who seems to have lost his mind while staying at a resort with a cult-ish devotion among its clientele. He hot dogs his way into the place, expecting to be in and out in time to catch the red-eye back to New York, but a freak accident results in his unwittingly becoming a patient himself. In a way, this is a long, fantastical PSA about the importance of wearing your seat belt.
Lockhart does manage to get in touch fairly quickly with his CEO, who goes on one of those rants about how it is really the world that is sick but then violently shifts to amenability towards going home. Ultimately, though, the status quo stays in place. This elliptical encounter sets the tone for the whole plot.
A Cure for Wellness sets itself up as a classic gothic European castle mystery with a 21st century anarchic twist. There are movies that have strange elements just for strangeness’ sake, but in this case there appear to be more concrete purposes. What is the motivation of chillingly cool and collected facility director (Jason Isaacs)? Who is this girl (Mia Goth) who is so much younger than all the other residents, and why does she receive preferential treatment? What is the deal with the eels? For the most part, each of these questions is sufficiently answered, but the twists may be too unnecessarily stomach-churning for some viewers. Also, the resolution is painfully stretched out – Lockhart is given an absurd number of opportunities to dish out his revenge.
If nothing else, this exercise in ghastliness is worth it for the beautiful cinematography courtesy of Bojan Bazelli. The days are perpetually cloudy, making for a striking mix of drab, foreboding, and sublime. Tableaux are carefully, lovingly designed – an overhead view of water aerobics may be the shot of the year. This is the world in a microcosm, as argued by A Cure for Wellness: ugly, breathtaking, and irrevocably tied to the past.
A Cure for Wellness is Recommended If You Like: The pop philosophy of Fight Club, the creepy crawlies of Slither (2006), the nasty secrets of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Grade: 3 out of 5 Suspect Diagnoses
February 13, 2017
Son of Zorn, Son of Zorn Episode Reviews, Television Son of Zorn, Son of Zorn 112, Son of Zorn Season 1, The Quest for Craig Leave a comment
“You bet your ass I’ll probably be there!” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-the-quest-for-craig/
February 13, 2017
Television, The Simpsons, The Simpsons Episode Reviews Fatzcarraldo, The Simpsons, The Simpsons 2814, The Simpsons Season 28 Leave a comment
“It’s as if Macy’s didn’t sell mace!” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-fatzcarraldo/
February 12, 2017
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television Alec Baldwin, Ed Sheeran, Russell Stover Black History Month Heart Shaped Box, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live 4214, Saturday Night Live Season 42, SNL, SNL Season 42 Leave a comment
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Alec Baldwin” Episode 1718 — Pictured: (l-r) Sasheer Zamata and Alex Moffat during the “Russell Stover” sketch on February 10, 2017 — (Photo by: Caroline De Quesada/NBC)
This review was originally posted on News Cult in February 2017.
Love It
Russell Stover Black History Month Heart Shaped Box – Great comedy often arises from the plans of the well-meaning going awry. Offering their black girlfriends a peanut butter-filled George Washington Carver or a Malcolm X fiery with cayenne, the white boyfriends look so eager to please, so intent on getting it right. But it is plain to see that they fail on two levels: romantically and racially. But as insensitive as this particular candy box is, wouldn’t we all want to live in a utopia in which the chocolate version of any historical figure has no unsavory implications?
The pitch meeting for a Cheeto’s ad stretches the social activism of commercials as far as it can go…Jake and Kellyanne are locked in a Fatal Attraction-style tête–à–tête, and may I say, with just a stern look, Beck Bennett is killing his impression of the CNN anchor…Trump takes his case to The People’s Court, which makes me go: hey, remember when Jon Lovitz played the Devil on a People’s Court sketch back in the day? That’s somehow both more and less believable than this…Leslie Wants to Play Trump, and I want to see as many of these dreamy, personal, behind-the-scenes short films as possible.
February 12, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Bai, Baskets, Christopher Walken, Jane the Virgin, Jeopardy!, Legion, New Girl, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Super Bowl Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – There was a football game, and the best part was Christopher Walken singing “Bai, Bai, Bai.”
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Legion makes my head go boom.
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – SNL, especially its celebration of Black History Month
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