What Won TV? – March 12-March 18, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Milo Murphy’s Law
Tuesday – The Middle and New Girl are both heating up, relationship-wise.
Wednesday – Speechless
Thursday – Review is as necessary as ever.
Friday – VICE
Saturday – This college basketball is so mad.

This Is a Movie Review: T2 Trainspotting

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Anjela Nedyalkova

Director: Danny Boyle

Running Time: 117 Minutes

Rating: R for Pointy Things – Both Body Parts and Devices You Stick Into Your Body

Release Date: March 17, 2017 (Limited)

1996’s Trainspotting features one of the most iconic opening shots in film history, as Ewan McGregor’s feet fall from the sky and then pound the Edinburgh pavement to the inimitable strains of “Lust for Life.” The kickoff to 20-years-later sequel T2 Trainspotting directly calls back to its predecessor, but in a sly way that ensures this is no empty exercise in nostalgia. And really, how could it have ever been that? Getting back together with your junkie criminal mates is not exactly the stuff of teary-eyed reunions. T2 falls short of reaching the landmark status of the original (a nearly impossible task), but its themes (“choose life,” choose whatever the hell you could possibly choose) and hallucinogenic style remain intact.

It has been several years since I saw Trainspotting, and over the course of T2, it becomes abundantly clear how many plot specifics I have forgotten. Luckily this is the type of sequel that fills you in on everything, with enough dreamy flair to prevent any flashbacks feeling like spoon-feeding. Renton (McGregor) has been living in the Netherlands with his Dutch wife; he still runs, but for exercise, not to escape the law. Spud (Ewen Bremner) got clean for a little while, but is now on the brink of suicide. Sick Boy (Jonny Lee Miller), in between “running” a family pub, is pulling a sleazy blackmail extortion scheme with the help of his young Bulgarian “girlfriend” Veronika (Anjela Nedyalkova). Franco (Robert Carlyle) is serving a 25-year jail sentence and scheming to get out. And Diane (Kelly Macdonald) is now a lawyer, dropping in for a cameo consultation.

Nobody is thrilled over Renton’s return, considering he stole everyone else’s shares of the drug deal at the end of the first film. But they mostly reconcile enough to commit to Sick Boy’s plan to open a “spa” (i.e., brothel). Franco, fulfilling the wild card role, is off on his own teaching his son how to sell stolen goods; he is much less forgiving when his and Renton’s paths cross.

Whether or not they succeed (or what success even is in this situation) is beside the point. T2 is about taking stock of one’s life, and how unsettling such midlife reflections are with a druggie past (and present). Director Danny Boyle throws out all his tricks to make this chapter simultaneously unsettling, beautiful, and hypnotic. Camera angles are slightly askew, slow motion and freeze frames disrupt the rhythm, and even Snapchat filters are used to great effect. Adding to the surrealism (for non-Scottish audiences) is the impenetrability of the thick accents. There is a bit of fun with subtitles during one Franco scene, but otherwise we are left to our own devices to figure out what the hell everyone is saying. For the most part, I do not even bother with such translation; I would advise you to do the same.

In one unforgettably riveting scene, McGregor resurrects the classic “Choose Life” monologue for a new generation. The rejection (but also pseudo-acceptance) of capitalism inherent in these speeches is what fuels this series. There is plenty left in the tank to continually define the Trainspotting thesis. In just five minutes, McGregor demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt why he would ever want to revisit such an iconic role.

T2 Trainspotting is Recommended If You Like: Sequels That Seem Unnecessary But Turn Out to be Quite Fulfilling

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Needles Shared Between Friends

The Simpsons 28.17 Review: “22 for 30”

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“When we return, the interesting part.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-22-for-30/

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of March 25, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
8. Coldplay – “Hypnotised”
9. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
10. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
11. Rag’n’Bone – “Human”
12. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
13. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
14. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
15. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
16. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
17. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
18. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
19. The Lumineers – “Angela”
20. Skillet – “Stars”
21. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
22. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
23. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
24. Papa Roach – “Help”
25. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Feel It Still
5. Love is Mystical
6. Heavydirtysoul
7. Love
8. Ride
9. Middle Fingers
10. Hypnotised
11. Heathens
12. Fire Escape
13. Help
14. Angela
15. How Did You Love
16. Wish I Knew You
17. Waste a Moment
18. Heavy
19. Believer
20. Still Breathing
21. HandClap
22. Stars
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of March 25, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
4. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
5. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
6. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
7. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
8. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
9. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
10. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
11. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
12. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
13. Katy Perry ft. Ziggy Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
14. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
15. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
16. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
17. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
18. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
19. Lorde – “Green Light”
20. Maroon 5 ft. Future – “Cold”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Green Light
2. Chained to the Rhythm
3. Tunnel Vision
4. I Feel It Coming
5. Love on the Brain
6. Rockabye
7. Closer
8. Bad and Boujee
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. That’s What I Like
12. Cold
13. It Ain’t Me
14. Something Just Like This
15. Paris
16. Bounce Back
17. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
18. iSpy
19. Body Like a Back Road
20. Mercy

What Won TV? – March 5-March 11, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Monday – Milo Murphy’s Law
Tuesday – The Middle teases us right at the end.
Wednesday – Legion
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – VICE
Saturday – Kyle and Beck provide SNL with a sketch for the women.

SNL Review March 11, 2017: Scarlett Johansson/Lorde

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2017.

Jeffrey Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then organizes the sketches into the following categories: “Love It” (potentially Best of the Season-worthy), “Keep It” (perfectly adequate), or “Leave It” (in need of a rewrite, to say the least). Then he concludes with assessments of the host and musical guest.

Love It

Ace and Jake – The “Day Without a Woman” protest happened earlier this week, and – just as the people demanded – Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett have written a female-centric sketch in response! The joke here is obvious – the guys fight institutional sexism by passionately listing every example of it but neglect to actually give the women a chance to speak. These two are miracle workers, somehow making thoughtlessness totally adorable.

That canine actor in the Dog Translation sketch is not having that helmet on his head; the fact that he is also a Trump supporter is also kind of funny…The Olive Garden Commercial shoot has it all: fake orgasms, casual racism, and Kenan Thompson sticking his face flat in a bowl of pasta!

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This Is a Movie Review: The Sense of an Ending

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Jim Broadbent, Charlotte Rampling, Harriet Walter, Emily Mortimer, Michelle Dockery

Director: Ritesh Batra

Running Time: 108 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Serious Matters Confronted with British Reservation

Release Date: March 10, 2017 (Limited)

In The Sense of an Ending, Jim Broadbent plays Anthony Webster, the owner of a boutique camera shop who must confront the sins of his past after an old acquaintance passes away and includes him in the will. I would vote for the focus to be waxing nostalgic about vintage Nikons and Kodaks, but alas, the narrative switches back and forth between the present day and Tony’s young adulthood, when he was courting a girl who eventually pursued one of his friends instead. There ends up being a tangle of long-ago secrets that it takes way too long to make sense of.

The film does not engender mystery so much as simmer in its ambiguity. Dinner scenes involve questions being asked and only being answered after staring into space for what feels like an eternity. Is this that famous British reservation, or just tentative filmmaking? If it is the former, the angst of what is left unsaid should be painfully felt, but that is just not the case, at least not until Charlotte Rampling shows up about halfway through. As the present-day version of Tony’s ex-flame, she says more with a piercing glance than the entirety of the flashbacks.

In the midst of sorting out his past, Tony is also on the verge of becoming a grandfather. He accompanies his daughter Susie (Michelle Dockery) to birthing classes, as the father is completely out of the picture. Susie warns Dad not to make any offensive remark about a lesbian couple in the class, as overly cautious children are wont to worry that their parents will go rogue. But Tony not only keep his tongue in check, he becomes fast friends with the couple. And it is not because of any fetishistic desire to diversify his circle. He just happens to be a sociable fellow who likes talking to people. Funny that his daughter doesn’t know that.

Anyway, I would much prefer if The Sense of an Ending were the adventures of Dad and the Lesbians. At least Tony ends up more reliably friendly than he was in his salad days. Perhaps he can take solace in that ending.

The Sense of an Ending is Recommended If You LikeAtonement But Wish It Had Been Difficult to Follow

Grade: 2 out of 5 Angry Letters

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of March 18, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Believers”
3. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
6. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
10. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
11. Godsmack – “Come Together”
12. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
13. John Mayer – “Still Feel Like Your Man”
14. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
15. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
16. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
17. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
18. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
19. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
20. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
21. John Mayer – “Helpless”
22. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
23. John Mayer – “Emoji on a Wave”
24. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
25. Seether – “Let You Down”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Heavydirtysoul
5. Love
6. Ride
7. Heathens
8. Fire Escape
9. How Did You Love
10. Still Feel Like Your Man
11. Wish I Knew You
12. Waste a Moment
13. Helpless
14. Cleopatra
15. Come Together
16. Heavy
17. Believer
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Let You Down
21. Love on the Weekend
22. Sucker for Pain
23. Emoji on a Wave
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of March 18, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
5. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
6. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
7. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
8. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
9. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
10. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
11. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
12. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
13. Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”
14. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
15. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
16. Drake – “Fake Love”
17. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
18. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
19. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
20. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Scars to Your Beautiful
3. Tunnel Vision
4. I Feel It Coming
5. Love on the Brain
6. Closer
7. Bad and Boujee
8. Shape of You
9. 24K Magic
10. That’s What I Like
11. Can’t Stop the Feeling!
12. Something Just Like This
13. Paris
14. Bounce Back
15. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
16. iSpy
17. Bad Things
18. Fake Love
19. Body Like a Back Road
20. Mercy

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