Oh man, I’m totally Stoned. (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

This here is a review of the December 2, 2023 episode of Saturday Night Live, hosted by Emma Stone with musical guest Noah Kahan. It’s her fifth time, and interestingly enough, a few days ago, I had a dream in which I met her right after she hosted this episode. So I think that’s a good sign!

For this review, I will be transcribing the notes I took while watching the episode, which I’ve done a few times before, and I enjoyed how it worked out, so here we go again!

The Situation Room
-“A proud gay thief”
-Crowd liked the Genovia reference
-“♩ Goodbye, Christmas Queen ♩”

Emma Stone’s Monologue
-Is this the first time Lorne has been identified as someone’s husband?
-Youngest member of 5-Timers Club?! (make sure to fact-check)
-Who makes the jackets?

Question Quest
-Oldest woman in the Navy?!
-“It’s your tortoise?” “No. It’s your tortoise.”
-“Same color penis!”

Fully Naked in New York
-“Even Latin guys get sad sometimes” – important to know

Pine River Lodge Christmas Tree Lighting
-What is Dones (sp?)?
-Is Emma really playing the trumpet? The audience sure thinks so
-“What’s in our room? Chocolate?”
-Women’s Prison for Men – Wow!
-“And what percent is Surge?”
-“What are you, a human dumbass?”

please don’t destroy: AI
-“Am I that bitch from Harry Potter?”

What’s in the Kiln?
-Are they doing Kate McKinnon impressions?
-“It never looks dirty b/c it never looks clean.”
-“This first piece ‘sharted’ out.”
-“Now, when you sculpt your mother’s vagina”

Noah Kahan, “Dial Drunk”
-Is the microphone golden?
-Is this Mumford & Sons Revivalism?

Weekend Update: The Jokes
-Has a whole generation already grown up with Michael and Colin?
-Multiple types of drag races referenced by Colin
-Che started getting a little delirious himself
Weekend Update: Old Fashioned Cigarette
-Is dessert for sex dessert for… dessert?
-“Like Marlon Brando, but girl”

Mama Cass Recording
-“We’re anticipating major airplay.”
-I thought Emma was Sarah Sherman at first
-Now I can’t wait to see Joan!

Noah Kahan, “Stick Season”
-What kind of sticks are we talking about here?

Posters
-How many times has Kenan said “dooky” on SNL?
-“Slimy” wrench?

Diet Coke by Olay
-Too sharp?

We’ve really got an all-star guest lineup this December, as evidenced by next episode’s host being Adam Driver and next episode’s musical guest being Olivia Rodrigo.