CREDIT: Jason McDonald/Netflix; Toho/Screenshot

Maestro

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Carey Mulligan, Matt Bomer, Maya Hawke, Sarah Silverman, Michael Urie, Brian Klugman, Gideon Glick, Sam Nivola, Miriam Shor, Alexa Swinton, Josh Hamilton, June Gable

Director: Bradley Cooper

Running Time: 129 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: November 22, 2023 (Theaters)/December 20, 2023 (Theaters)

Godzilla Minus One

Starring: Ryunosuke Kamiki, Minami Hamabe, Yuki Yamada, Munetaka Aoki, Hidetaka Yoshioka, Sakura Ando, Kuranosuke Sasaki, Mio Tanaka, Sae Nagatani

Director: Takashi Yamazaki

Running Time: 125 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: December 1, 2023 (Theaters)

Having recently seen both Maestro and Godzilla Minus One, I’d like to now pose myself the question: would I rather hang out with Leonard Bernstein, or Godzilla? I’m basing my assessment only on these particular movies! Thus, I’m talking about Bradley Cooper’s portrayal of the composer, and not the actual Bernstein, nor am I considering any of the giant lizard’s dozens of other cinematic appearances. However, the mention of Bernstein in the lyrics of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It” can factor in, since that song does appear in the movie.

So with all that established, here’s my final assessment. Lenny seems like a fun hang at a party, but not every party. So I’d definitely be taking a risk by spending an extended amount of time with him. As for Godzilla, he’s definitely more foe than friend in Minus One. But he also seems like a bit of a good luck charm, as he inspires the resistance fighters to all live their best lives. So really it’s an exceedingly easy decision: if I hang out with Godzilla, good things will surely happen!

Grades:
Maestro: Two Points for the Needle Drop, One Point for the Attentive Oncologist
Godzilla Minus One: Fantastically Designed Lasers and Scales, Oh My!