Oh by the way, which one’s Mother? (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Fact: the first SNL host of 2024 is Jacob Elordi. I’ve seen him in Saltburn and Priscilla.

Fact: the first SNL musical guest of 2024 is Reneé Rapp. Here’s the rap on her: I’ve enjoyed her in The Sex Lives of College Girls and Mean Girls (2024).

Since the week leading up to this episode has been one of the coldest this winter in my neighborhood, I’ve decided to review each sketch by using the words “cold,” “cool,” “hot,” “warm,” or some derivation thereof.

Trump Courthouse Press Conference: This cold opening left me cold.

Jacob Elordi’s Commercial: I thought that the mention of “the noble elephant” was pretty cool.

Crown Your Shirt King: It’s not hot to behave that way! Also, why did the tallest guy have the most oversized jacket?

Club Shay Shay Interview: Extended Cut: I must be really hot right now, because this seems like the sort of thing you’d hallucinate in a fever dream.

Entertainment Tonight Awards Season Special: The love that those lip readers detected felt a little lukewarm.

Bowling Animation: Cool concept; hot vibes.

Alaska Airlines: I will now type my favorite quote from this commercial parody: “You didn’t die and you got a cool story.”

Reneé Rapp, “Snow Angel”: What if Reneé had been lying down for the whole song? Do you guys think that would’ve been cool?

Weekend Update: The Jokes: Che was definitely coming in hot. About as much as he usually does!
Weekend Update: Tim Scott: If you’re feeling the heat when you’re around Colin Jost, blow on that racist dog whistle.
Weekend Update: Deobra Redden: Flying over a judge’s bench is the definition of “coming in hot.”

Women’s AA Meeting: I think the hottest thing about Jacob Elordi in this episode was the Christopher Walken-esque way he said “wild” in this sketch.

Reneé Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion, “Not My Fault”: Is there a hotter way to make an entrance than stepping out of a giant cake?

Toby Lee Acting Studio: Who wrote this sketch? Was it The Grinch?! (Because of his famously cold heart)

Garret from Hinge: Wedding: Wouldn’t it be cool if Garrett had his own theme song?

Next up: we’ve got the January 27 episode, which will feature the reunion we’ll all be waiting for, as Dakota Johnson hosts and Justin Timberlake musical guests.