CREDIT: Lionsgate/Screenshot

Starring: Jenna Ortega, Martin Freeman, Gideon Adlon, Bashir Salahuddin, Dagmara Domińczyk

Director: Jade Hadley Bartlett

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 26, 2024 (Theaters)

Miller’s Girl is the sort of tawdry movie that probably makes a lot of viewers go, “Why is this coming out in 2024? And why did we ever think this type of premise was okay?” When I ask myself that question and wonder why this sort of thing didn’t bother me in the 90s and early 2000s, I realize: it was because I didn’t watch that stuff back then!

Here’s the deal: Jenna Ortega plays a precocious high school student who gets a little too explicit for her teacher Martin Freeman to handle while working on an assignment that riffs on Henry Miller. Meanwhile, her friend Gideon Adlon flirts with another teacher (Bashir Salahuddin), just for the hell of it, I suppose? Anyway, it’s all mostly rather tame and forgettable (with the exception of some bluntly flowery voiceover).

When I first read the premise, I glossed over the “creative writing” part of “A creative writing assignment,” and I somehow got it in my head that the assignment in question had to do with espionage. I would have much rather lived in that reality.

Grade: It’s Not Miller Time