Couple Goals? (CREDIT: Roadside Attractions; Nicola Dove/Universal Pictures)

Wolf Man

Starring: Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger

Director: Leigh Whannell

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 17, 2025 (Theaters)

The Last Showgirl

Starring: Pamela Anderson, Dave Bautista, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kiernan Shipka, Brenda Song, Billie Lourd, Jason Schwartzman

Director: Gia Coppola

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 13, 2024 (Oscar Qualifying)/January 10, 2025 (Wide Theaters)

What’s going on, movie freaks?!😛Well, I’ll tell you what’s up with me: I saw a couple of movies this past weekend that most people probably don’t associate with each other, beyond the fact that they’re both currently playing in theaters. Interestingly enough, they also both feature (opposite) gendered language in their titles.

After seeing Leigh Whannell’s version of the Wolf Man, I can now confidently say, “I don’t wanna be a Wolf Man!*” (*-Please read this in the style of Jerry Seinfeld whining, “I don’t wanna be a pirate!”) But maybe we all need to prepare for the possibility of totally becoming the wolf man when we least expect it. So in that sense, this movie works better as a how-to guide than it does as a thriller.

But hey, you know who I wouldn’t mind being? The Last Showgirl!* (*-Please read this in the style of Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri shouting “The perfect cheer!”) I’ve known for quite a while, after all, that I’ve had the soul of a veteran showgirl inside me. I’m not quite as dogmatic as Pamela Anderson is as Shelly Gardner, but I get where she’s coming from, and I hope she’s never silenced completely. In fact, I’m sure she won’t be.

Grades:
Wolf Man: 4 Glowing Eyes out of 6 Loose Teeth
The Last Showgirl: If You Ain’t First, You’re Last, Although Sometimes Maybe You Can Be Both