You know, a lot of Jokers have won Oscars (CREDIT: Altered Innocence/Screenshot)

The Oscar winners are determined by the thousands of members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. But what if … they were chosen by just one person? If I were singlehandedly in charge of running the Oscars, here’s how they would go down.

Nominees are listed alphabetically, winners in bold.

Best Picture
Conclave
Dune: Part Two
Furiosa
I Saw the TV Glow
The People’s Joker

Best Director
Edward Berger, Conclave
Vera Drew, The People’s Joker
George Miller, Furiosa
Jane Schoenbrun, I Saw the TV Glow
Denis Villeneuve, Dune: Part Two

Lead Actor
David Dastmalchian, Late Night with the Devil
Hugh Grant, Heretic
Ralph Fiennes, Conclave
Justice Smith, I Saw the TV Glow
Sebastian Stan, A Different Man

Lead Actress
Mackenzie Davis, Speak No Evil
Chloe East, Heretic
Nell Tiger Free, The First Omen
Mia Goth, MaXXXine
DemiMargaret MooreQualley, The Substance

Supporting Actor
Yura Borisov, Anora
Carlos Diehz, Conclave
Chris Hemsworth, Furiosa
Ralph Ineson, The First Omen
Stanley Tucci, Conclave

Supporting Actress
Ariana Grande, Wicked
Setareh Maleki, The Seed of the Sacred Fig
Aubrey Plaza, Megalopolis
Tilda Swinton, Problemista
Alicia Witt, Longlegs

Original Screenplay
Steven Kostanski, Frankie Freako
Nico Lathouris and George Miller, Furiosa
Jane Schoenbrun, I Saw the TV Glow
Colin and Cameron Cairnes, Late Night with the Devil
Vera Drew and Bri LeRose, The People’s Joker

Adapted Screenplay
Peter Straughan, Conclave
Jon Spaihts and Denis Villeneuve, Dune: Part Two
Marilu Hauser and Heitor Larrega, I’m Still Here
James Watkins, Speak No Evil
Chris Sanders, The Wild Robot

Original Score
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Challengers
Volker Bertelmann, Conclave
Hans Zimmer, Dune: Part Two
Alex G, I Saw the TV Glow
Raffertie, The Substance

Original Song
“Double Life,” written by Pharrell Williams, Despicable Me 4
“Harper and Will Go West,” written by Kristen Wiig, Will & Harper
“Like a Bird,” written by Abraham Alexander and Adrian Quesada
“Not My Fault,” written by Renée Rapp and Megan Pete, Mean Girls
“Piece by Piece,” written by Pharrell Williams, Piece by Piece

Cinematography
Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, Challengers
Stéphane Fontaine, Conclave
Greig Fraser, Dune: Part Two
Jomo Fray, Nickel Boys
Benjamin Kračun, The Substance

Animated Feature
Flow
Inside Out 2
Piece by Piece

Costume Design
Lisy Christl, Conclave
Olga Mill, Love Lies Bleeding
Mari-An Ceo, MaXXXine
Linda Muir, Nosferatu
Alexis Forte, Smile 2

Film Editing
Marco Costa, Challengers
Nick Emerson, Conclave
Sofi Marshall, I Saw the TV Glow
Colin and Cameron Cairnes, Late Night with the Devil
Vera Drew, The People’s Joker

Production Design
Conclave
Megalopolis
Nosferatu
The People’s Joker
The Substance

Sound
Cuckoo
Flow
Nosferatu
Smile 2
The Substance

Visual Effects
Better Man
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Gladiator II

Makeup and Hairstyling
A Different Man
Longlegs
Smile 2
The Substance
Terrifier 3

Documentary Feature
Piece by Piece
Will & Harper

International Feature Film
Flow
I’m Still Here
The Seed of the Sacred Fig