‘The Surfer’ Review: What’ll It Take for Nic Cage to Ride That Wave

April 30, 2025

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Gnarly (CREDIT: Roadside Attractions)

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julian McMahon, Nic Cassim, Miranda Tapsell, Alexander Bertrand, Justin Rosniak, Rahel Romahn, Finn Little

Director: Lorcan Finnegan

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Toxic Masculinity and References to Suicide

Release Date: May 2, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A native of Western Australia (Nicolas Cage) is absolutely dead-set on buying a house for his family in the neighborhood where he grew up, and he’s just as dead-set on taking his son (Finn Little) out surfing on the nearby beach. Trouble is, the locals don’t approve. It’s a public beach, but that’s not exactly the message being delivered by Scally (Julian McMahon) and his crew, who are sure to punch you and steal your board if you try to press your luck. But the Surfer is undeterred, as he stays put in the parking lot for as long as it takes to obtain what he’s owed. But the police and anyone else who could possibly lend a sympathetic ear sure aren’t helpful. So he has only himself to rely on, which isn’t exactly good news, as he gradually loses his sanity and all of his possessions as the blazing sun rips his skin apart. But maybe, just maybe, his stubborn willpower will be enough to eventually turn the tide in his favor.

What Made an Impression?: This Test Has All the Wrong Answers: The explanation for why everyone is so firmly against the Surfer is narratively satisfying, but it is not morally satisfying. It’s an endurance game that makes for a bona fide psychological thriller, but it’ll tear your soul apart if you try to reconcile it with a belief in a reasonable universe. Plan accordingly.
Lost in the Cage: On a scale of Pig to Vampire’s Kiss, this is about a National Treasure on the Cage-o-meter, minus any semblance of mental health. The feature-length breakdown on display is like muscle memory for Nicky C. at this point.
The Boys from Oz: I spent most of The Surfer thinking that Scally was being played by Murray Bartlett, so the revelation that it was actually Julian McMahon was a bit of a relief, since Murray usually portrays much more pleasant fellows, whereas McMahon has a reputation for bringing scallywags to life. Still, I guess there’s something sinisterly delicious about fiftysomething Sydney residents with sharp cheekbones, isn’t there?
It’s Not Worth It: If The Surfer teaches us anything, I hope it’s this: spend time with your family, and be flexible! If buying that fancy mansion means keeping yourself away from the people that are supposed to live in it with you, then you can live somewhere else. And if hanging ten on your favorite waves means getting pummeled to a crisp along the way, I promise there are better spots to do it!

The Surfer is Recommended If You Like: The idea of The Game crossed with (Insert Your Favorite Surfing Movie Here)

Grade: 3 out of 5 Locals

When ‘The Wedding Banquet’ Lasted ‘Until Dawn’

April 29, 2025

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TFW it’s April at the movies (CREDIT: Sony Pictures/Screenshot; BleeckerStreet/ShivHansPictures)

The Wedding Banquet (2025)

Starring: Han Gi-Chan, Kelly Marie Tran, Bowen Yang, Lily Gladstone, Joan Chen, Youn Yuh-jung

Director: Andrew Ahn

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)

Until Dawn

Starring: Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino, Odessa A’zion, Ji-young Yoo, Belmont Cameli, Maia Mitchell, Peter Stormare

Director: David F. Sandberg

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)

Let me be absolutely clear about one thing: I would NOT want The Wedding Banquet to last Until Dawn.

Fortunately, these are two separate movies that I’m talking about right now. And further fortunately, you don’t have to attend a matrimonial event to watch The Wedding Banquet, nor do you have to stay up all night to watch Until Dawn. (Although actually a wedding-themed movie marathon during my own nuptials sounds like a pretty grand idea. I’ll have to store that away for future reference, thank you.)

Anyway, to quickly sum up my most essential takeaways from this pair of flicks: The Wedding Banquet lovingly underscores the value of interlocking the intricacies of friends, family, and lovers no matter how queer you are, while Until Dawn is quite possibly the most exciting sandbox Peter Stormare has ever been given to play around in (give or take a Gorb).

Grades:
The Wedding Banquet: 333 Grandmas out of 444 Ruses
Until Dawn: It Was a Darky and Occcasionally Stormare Night

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 4/25/25

April 25, 2025

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Keep it Simple, stupid (CREDIT: Amazon MGM Studios)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–Cheech and Chong’s Last Movie (Theaters)
–The Legend of Ochi (Theaters)
–Until Dawn (Theaters)
–Another Simple Favor (May 1 on Amazon Prime)

TV
–Celebrity Wheel of Fortune Season Premiere (April 30 on ABC)
–Jeopardy! Masters Season 3 Premiere (April 30 on ABC)

Music
-Billy Idol, Dream Into It – Featuring the single “Still Dancing.”
-Willie Nelson, Oh What a Beautiful World
-Smokey Robinson, What the World Needs Now

‘The Accountant 2’ Review: Keep It in the Family

April 24, 2025

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Accounting for the Accountant (and His Brother) (CREDIT: Amazon MGM Studios © Amazon Content Services LLC)

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jon Bernthal, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Daniella Pineda, Allison Robertson, J.K. Simmons, Robert Morgan, Grant Harvey, Andrew Howard

Director: Gavin O’Connor

Running Time: 132 Minutes

Rating: R for Big Guns and Joint Twisting

Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Autistic accountant Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) thought he could spend his time hacking the algorithm at a speed dating event, but it turns out that his unique talents are required by the Treasury Department once again. Agent Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) is a little wary about working with him, considering his extra-legal methods of enforcement. But it does seem like he’s the only one who can connect the dots between a mysterious woman (Daniella Pineda) and an immigrant couple whose son has been missing for years. Meanwhile, Christian calls up his brother Braxton (Jon Bernthal) for some added muscle and to inject some odd couple levity into the proceedings.

What Made an Impression?: My History with The Accountant: Longtime readers of my reviews are probably already familiar with my deeply held belief that you don’t need to catch the original before you see any of the sequels. So I’m not ashamed to admit that I have not seen the first Accountant. But I am a little surprised to report that I felt a little lost without that background info. While The Accountant 2 offers a pretty self-contained story, more character-defining context would have been welcomed had it been offered.
Does It Make Perfect Sense or Am I Perfectly Confused?: The investigation mostly revolves around Pineda’s character, who basically became a superhuman assassin after suffering a traumatic brain injury. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s a spoiler or part of the premise. Anyway, she’s somehow linked to a wider conspiracy involving kidnapping and human trafficking. It’s a criminal labyrinth that I was able to follow along with until the very end, when I found myself wondering, “Wait a minute, what’s the story here?” Each individual scene justifies and explains itself well enough, but the strings between them feel pretty loose. (Unless you’re Christian Wolff, perhaps?)
Just Two Dudes: Anyway, I’m not sure I really want to understand the parts of The Accountant 2 that left me squinty-eyed. By the climax, it mostly devolves into a macho burst of relentless artillery that I really didn’t care for, but along the way, Affleck and Bernthal’s oil-and-water fraternal chemistry makes for a decent hang. I understand why these two get on each other’s nerves, and I’d much rather watch them get up to trouble in a honky-tonk bar rather than save the country or whatever.

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Acquired Savants

‘The Legend of Ochi’ Unfolds with Big-Eyed Wonder

April 23, 2025

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Which one’s the Ochi and which one’s the Human? (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Helena Zengel, Willem Dafoe, Finn Wolfhard, Emily Watson

Director: Isaiah Saxon

Running Time: 96 Minutes11

Rating: PG for Weird Parental Energy and Some Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises

Release Date: April 18, 2025 (Limited Theaters)/April 25, 2025 (Expands Wide)

What’s It About?: On a secluded island village in the Black Sea, a girl named Yuri (Helena Zengel) lives under the iron will of her father Maxim (Willem Dafoe). Along with Yuri’s older adoptive brother Petro (Finn Wolfhard) and the rest of Maxim’s army of young boys, their lives are almost entirely dedicated to hunting a supposedly monstrous species of orange-furred, blue-faced primates known as ochi. But Yuri is more than a little bit skeptical of this arrangement. Sure enough, she soon forges a deep connection with an adorable baby ochi, and they then commence on a journey back home that will undoubtedly reveal the truth about the ochi and Yuri’s family history.

What Made an Impression?: It’s Not Easy Being…: It’s not just the ochi’s faces that are blue. Their eyes are deep and icy as well, as are Yuri’s. (Helena Zengel is pretty much an ochi in human form.) There’s also an unforgettable blue caterpillar. I was certainly feeling blue by the end of it (in the Miles Davis Kind of sense). Hopefully you will as well.
Throwback Vibes: Chances are pretty high that The Legend of Ochi will have you asking, “Is it the 80s again?” Specifically the puppetry-based creature features that dominated the decade like E.T., The NeverEnding Story, and Labyrinth. Ochi is just as painstaking and otherworldly as all of those with its own mix of puppets, animatronics, and computer animation. The plot is fairly standard-issue, but the level of craft is off the charts.
Communication Studies: Yuri eventually reunites with her long-lost mother Dasha (Emily Watson), who is basically the polar opposite of her estranged husband, insofar as she’s dedicated her years to studying the singular wonders of the ochi. Her most powerful insight is that they talk not with words, but with sensation. Accordingly, I’m finding it a little lacking to verbalize my reaction to this movie. So maybe it’ll be better if I just conclude with a list of emotions that I felt while watching: awe, curiosity, compassion, hope, gratefulness, tingles, frustration, triumph, relief.

The Legend of Ochi is Recommended If You Like: Throwbacks that aren’t too beholden to their forerunners

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Pigtails

Is ‘Sacramento’ a Treat?

April 18, 2025

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The Sacramento boys (CREDIT: Vertical)

Starring: Michael Angarano, Michael Cera, Maya Erskine, Kristen Stewart, AJ Mendez, Iman Karram, Rosalind Chao

Director: Michael Angarano

Running Time: 84 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)

Whenever I think about the capital of California, my mind inevitably goes to that episode of Full House when Joey is a substitute teacher for Michelle’s class, and during a geography lesson, he says, “starts with Sac and ends with ramento.” So now you know where my head was at while I was watching a movie called Sacramento directed by Michael Angarano and also starring Angarano and other people now in their 30s who have been entertaining us since they were kids.

So now the question of course is: would I ever like to visit Sacramento? It’s an especially pressing matter, considering that the hook of this movie is that Angarano plays a guy who tricks an old friend (Michael Cera) into a road trip to Sac-Town. He says he’s going there to spread his dad’s ashes, but really he’s working up the courage to visit an old hookup (played by Angarano’s real-life wife Maya Erskine) for the first time since she gave birth to their kid. As far as I can tell from the evidence provided, there’s nothing particularly flashy about the titular city, especially compared to its in-state competition. But it does appear to provide decent space for chillaxing and coming to grips with your hangups, so this was a worthwhile trip in that regard.

Grade: 3 Babies out of 5 Daddies

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 4/18/25

April 18, 2025

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I’m Boltz-ing to wherever great new music can be heard

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–The Shrouds (Theaters)
–Sinners (Theaters) – …and twins?!
–Sneaks (Theaters) – A movie about sneakers.
–The Wedding Banquet (Theaters)
–Sneak Peek Showcase (April 22 and April 24 in Theaters) – A collection of trailers, clips and BTS footage from CinemaCon.

TV
–The Rehearsal Season 2 Premiere (April 20 on HBO) – Air travel prep.
–Andor Season 2 Premiere (April 22 on Disney+)

Music
-Tunde Adebimpe, Thee Black Boltz – Solo debut.
-Julien Baker & Torres, Send a Prayer My Way
-Melvins, Thunderball

Sports
-Boston Marathon (April 21 on ESPN2)

‘Sinners’ is a Hell of a Time at the Movies

April 16, 2025

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Sinners! (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)

Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Miles Caton, Hailee Steinfeld, Wunmi Mosaku, Jack O’Connell, Jayme Lawson, Delroy Lindo, Omar Benson Miller, Li Jun Li, Yao, Lola Kirke, Helena Hu, Peter Dreimanis, Saul Williams, Andrene Ward-Hammond, David Maldonado, Buddy Guy

Director: Ryan Coogler

Running Time: 137 Minutes

Rating: R for Guns, Nightlife Vices, and Supernatural Mayhem

Release Date: April 18, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The boys are back in town! Those boys in question are twin brothers Smoke (Michael B. Jordan) and Stack (also Jordan), while the town is in rural 1930s Mississippi. They were previously sojourning in Chicago, but now they’ve returned with millions in hand (quite possibly attained through criminal pursuits) and plans to open the hoppingest juke joint in town. Joining them in this venture are their cousin Sammie (Miles Caton), a budding blues guitarist virtuoso; Smoke’s old flame Annie (Wunmi Mosaku); Stack’s old flame Mary (Hailee Steinfeld); and seemingly everyone else they grew up with. Their dream quickly comes together, but lurking just outside are a few party crashers with a thirst for blood who are here to ensure that opening night will be even more unforgettable than anybody bargained for.

What Made an Impression?: Get Yourself Excited: A quick note before I really dig into the meat of this review: you all should know that I say this movie’s title with the same cadence that Superintendent Mario Chalmers refers to Principal Seymour Skinner on The Simpsons. (It’s also how I say the last name of a certain Italian tennis player.) That didn’t really affect my enjoyment one way or the other, but I do like to be transparent.
The Bloodiest Good Time: I’ll just go right ahead and get this off my chest: Sinners might just be my favorite vampire movie of all time! That’s not a huge huge surprise, as I’m not a major aficionado of Dracula and the like, so the bar wasn’t particularly high. But there are still plenty of fine examples that now must give up the throne. Perhaps you’re surprised to hear this, considering that the trailers play a little coy with the premise’s true nature. But that patient approach in which writer-director Ryan Coogler waits a little while to show off his full hand is a big reason why it’s so successful.
A Sense of Time and Place: Sinners nails every temptation that’s so tantalizingly cool about its era, but in a way that also makes you realize that America is and also has been like this. The outfits and diction might change, but working folks and the discriminated classes have always been trying to scheme and break free and find their families. There’s a lot more to what makes Sinners cook than that, but that’s a good starting point to let you know why it’s so exhilarating.
Play It Again: There’s a magnificent set piece about halfway through in which Sammie’s singing and strumming is so magical that it summons the spirits of multi-genre past and future musicians into the party. (That power is a big reason why those supernatural baddies have found their way here.) Speaking of music, the rest of the film is soundtracked by frequent Coogler collaborator Ludwig Göransson, who blends an intoxicating stew that both honors and transcends its Delta trappings.
It’s a Beaut!: Sinners‘ cinematographer is Autumn Durald Arkapaw, a name I’m not too familiar with, although she did shoot the second Black Panther and a few other flicks I’ve seen. But man oh man, she outdid herself here. Every frame just pops off the screen and irons itself into your brainstem. I’m sure costume designer Ruth E. Carter (another Coogler regular) appreciated the fine lens work, since it made it undeniably clear how her duds were in no way duds.
Get Comfy: Don’t bolt out of your seat after the credits start rolling, because there’s more to come! If Marvel blockbusters have you feeling cynical about mid-credits and post-credits scenes, well, forget all that, because Sinners offers a couple of codas that deliver a few new flavors while deepening everything that it’s all about.

Sinners is Recommended If You Like: Only Lovers Left Alive, the American blues songbook, BlacKkKlansman

Grade: 5 out of 5 Smokestacks

‘The Shrouds’ Review: What Happens When David Cronenberg Takes Us Six Feet Under

April 15, 2025

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Til death do they part? (CREDIT: Sideshow and Janus Films)

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Diane Kruger, Guy Pearce, Sandrine Holt

Director: David Cronenberg

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R for Sex and Nudity in Both the Here and Now and the Beyond, and a Little Bit of Violence

Release Date: April 18, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Have you ever wanted to peek at your dead loved ones while they’re resting underground? Well, if you lived in the world of The Shrouds, you’d be in luck! That’s because this is a movie about a businessman named Karsh Relikh (Vincent Cassel) who has invented GraveTech, which allows people to keep an eye on the decaying corpses of their dearly departed. This mission is pretty personal for him, considering his desire to be buried alongside his late wife Becca (Diane Kruger) following her untimely death from cancer. But his focus on the hereafter might be keeping him blind to the strange developments on this earthly plane, as he finds himself getting dangerously closer to Becca’s sister Terry (also Kruger) while his brother-in-law Maury (Guy Pearce) rants and raves about some sort of conspiracy.

What Made an Impression?: The Cronenberg of It All: The Shrouds is more psychological horror than body horror, or rather, I should say, that ratio leans more psychological than usual by David Cronenberg Standards. There’s definitely plenty of corporeal shenanigans, though, particularly when Karsh keeps seeing a vision of a gradually more and more surgically reduced Becca.
Guy Pearces a Bullseye: Maury is one of those characters that makes you go, “Should we just ignore this guy, or should we instead be listening very closely to every single thing that he says?” Pearce understands the assignment and is compellingly confusing.
Why, Why, Why?: Is GraveTech a good idea? Cronenberg certainly doesn’t seem to be endorsing it. And based on what we can glean from Karsh’s experience, I can’t say I recommend it. But maybe there’s a way to handle this breakthrough more sensitively? I don’t think it has to make your day-to-day so woozy and surreal. We all grieve in our own ways.
Losing the Plot: The action is driven by an act of vandalism at the GraveTech graves and an attempt to locate the guilty parties. But I got the feeling that Karsh and by extension Cronenberg weren’t really all that interested in finding the answer to that question. Instead, The Shrouds is much more concerned about the director’s continued interest in reflecting upon what happens when we give our bodies and minds over to emerging technologies.
It’s Complicated: In conclusion, if you hear the hook of GraveTech and wonder, “How will this make everyone’s relationships messier?”, then The Shrouds has been designed to cater to you.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Corpses

‘The Luckiest Man in America’ Spreads His Winnings to All of Us

April 14, 2025

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The Face of Luck (CREDIT: IFC Films)

Starring: Paul Walter Hauser, Walton Goggins, David Straithairn, Brian Geraghty, Patti Harrison, Maisie Williams, Shamier Anderson, Haley Bennett, Damian Young, Lilli Kay, James Wolk, Shaunette Renée Wilson, David Rysdahl, Ricky Russert, Johnny Knoxville

Director: Samir Oliveros

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 4, 2025 (Theaters)

Are ya feeling lucky? Well if you’re watching The Luckiest Man in America, you should be! It tells the story of Michael Larson, the air conditioner repairman and ice cream truck driver who broke the bank when he cracked the pattern on the seemingly random game show Press Your Luck in 1984. In the process, he earned what was at the time the highest single-day winning total on a game show. He’s played by Paul Walter Hauser, who was seemingly made in a lab to bring this sort of huckster to life. Walton Goggins is also pretty damn unforgettable as PYL host Peter Tomarken. The whole cast is unbelievably stacked, in fact. (Even a certain jackass shows up at one point.) By the time the credits roll, you’ll be thinking, “I’m the luckiest person in the movie theater!”

Grade: Absolutely NO Whammies!

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