A screenshot of 2 SNL Guests and 1 SNL Cast Member (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

What’s up, brosephuses and sistras?! Wow, after 50 years of all that, they’re still going. That’s right, I’m talking about the Season 51 Premiere of Saturday Night Live.

The guest lineup is host Bad Bunny and musical guest Doja Cat, so there was really no way around it: I’m going to review each sketch animalistically. So that means I might give them 4 out of 5 Buffaloes, or I might say they’re Clucking like a Chicken. Let’s get into it!

Pete Hegseth Meeting: While pretending to be the SecDef, Colin Jost said, “No Fat Chicks.” But this cold open had more of the early 2000s frat boy energy of a Rooster.

Bad Bunny’s Monologue: The highlight of the monologue was getting to meet “Juan Jamon,” to which I must say: “Oink Oink.”

Jeopardy!: Bad Bunny plays a game show contestant who just can’t seem to get a hang of the famous answer-and-question format, and he came off like an inverted inverted version of another famous lagomorph, i.e. Bugs Bunny. Which is to say, he was really being a stinker, but it wasn’t exactly working out for him. (Also, let’s talk about some procedural issues real quick: the contestant in the lead doesn’t pick first during Double Jeopardy! And “Barbara… am I right?” was in the form of a question, so it should have been accepted!)
ChatGPTío: Donald Duck-ing Alert!

Sperm Donor: Bad Bunny living up to his name more than ever before in his SNL history.

KPop Demon Hunters Brunch: This sketch had the vibe of what happens when you offend your Dog, but the pooch ultimately can’t be angry for too long.
Doja Cat, “AAAHH MEN!”: Not just Cat-tacular, this performance was Dog-gone Terrific!

Weekend Update: The Jokes: Che’s author photo looked like he was wearing a Curtis Sliwa Beret, which I’m sure the Rats of NYC appreciated.
Weekend Update: Kam Patterson: New guy being as Stubborn as a Mule.
Weekend Update: Dobby the House Elf: A fun conclusion to this segment would have been a shot of Disney-style Mice cheering.

Inventing Spanish: This sketch featured a cameo from Benicio del Toro, and it indeed had the Energy of a Bull crashing through the wall, but tempered by some feminine energy as well.

Doja Cat, “Gorgeous”: Doja performed on top of a giant flower, which I’m sure all the Bees appreciated.

Parent Teacher Conference: If there were a Dog in this sketch, it would really have been sniffing everybody to figure out what was going on.

The Kid From Number 8: 4 out of 5 Junkyard Dogs

Well, that wraps up another wonderful Saturday Night Live season premiere. We’ll reconvene next week to discuss the upcoming episode featuring SNL alumnus Amy Poehler and a musician who goes by the name of Role Model.