Adding a little something to December (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Will this be a December to remember? Well, laughter is often associated with memory, so hopefully SNL Season 51 will do its part to make its answer to that question a resounding “yes!” We have our first set of evidence in this regard in terms of the Melissa McCarthy-hosted December 6, 2025 episode, with musical guest Dijon. This is Ms. McCarthy’s 6th time hosting, but it’s my first time using a new reviewing gimmick, as I will assess where each sketch and segment should be categorized on the pH Scale. That is to say: I’ll be determining if they’re more acidic (less than 7) or more basic (greater than 7, up to 14). Am I being metaphorical here? Let’s find out!

Secretary of Defense Press Conference: Yep, Hegseth Dude is pretty acidic, although Colin J.’s impression adds a tiny bit of sweetness, so I’ll go with 1.5.

Melissa McCarthy’s Monologue: This was a fairly neutral intro to the episode, so I’m going to go with a 7.

Free Samples: Giving out samples is so Suburban Basic, but Melissa’s character added some spice, so that’ll work out to about a 9.

A Helping Hand: This dark holiday-themed pre-filmed piece was about as acidic as winter can get, so that’ll be a 2.

UPS Delivery Driver: Unapologetically bad behavior is on the lower end of the pH scale, but we had fun! So how about a 6?

Dijon, “Higher!”: Look, I know I run hotter than average, so I may not be the most unbiased judge of temperature comfort. But surely Mr. Dijon must’ve been feeling a little cooked in that scarf and that jacket. Let’s say it’s an 11.

Weekend Update: The Jokes: As per usual, Michael and Colin got spicy, but in a mostly Middle America-friendly way: 5.
Weekend Update: Redhead Who Just Went on Vacation: A thorough sunburn is undoubtedly going to get a 1 on the scale, although at least this one had a smile on it.
Weekend Update: Drunk Raccoon: Sloshed furry Sarah Sherman can certainly alleviate some burns, so I’m feeling a 9.

Truth or Dare: Bonhomie with an undercurrent of spice, but not in a way that’s triple-underlined: 6.5.

Sunday Supper: Adrift in the wrong direction, desperately seeking agreement: all the way up to 14.

Dijon, “Another Baby!”: I appreciate how Dijon’s backing crew was working in unison with him, so an 8 feels right for Performance #2.

Cousin Planet: Extended family can get you excited and also make you cozy. I think in this case that works out to a 7.5.

Homes for the Holiday: Okay, where can I get my own Minion Nativity set? 8.

We’ve still got more than half of December left, both in terms of days and SNL episodes. Next up is host Josh O’Connor and musical guest Lily Allen. I’ve prepared by watching him in the new Knives Out and listening to her new Lily Album.