Tell me a Storrie (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Brrr! It’s been quite the eventful February. But the light at the end of the blizzard was new Saturday Night Live. For the 13th episode of the 51st season, we’ve got first-time host Connor Storrie and fourth-time musical guest Mumford & Sons. Since Connor is known for starring in the hockey-themed television program Heated Rivalry and since the Winter Olympics just wrapped up, my Review Gimmick for this episode will consist of declaring whether each sketch and segment is More Hot or More Cold.

Trump Talking About Iran: The world is so Cold right now, and these comedic representations of it just sting.

Connor Storrie’s Monologue: Connor may have been joined onstage by a quartet of icy Olympic hockey players, but this intro was undeniably a Warm Hug.

Math Class: I could totally see Mr. Fronzi busting out a rendition of Buster Poindexter’s “Hot Hot Hot”, couldn’t you?

The Gentlemen’s Code: I sure would’ve been Overheating in those old-timey outfits, and I bet the cast members were too.

Ice Skating Proposal: Ah, a classic case of Hot vs. Cold right here, innit?

Tutoring: Hey, this sketch includes both hot (“hot-ass chicas”) and cool (“c-c-c-cool kids?) in its dialogue. Anyway, the overall result is fairly Lukewarm, but in a pleasant enough way.

Mumford & Sons ft. Hozier and Aaron Dessner, “Rubber Band Man”: It looks like frontman Marcus M. got a haircut, and that’s Pretty Cool.

Weekend Update: The Jokes: Colin sounded like he could’ve used a lozenge, suggesting that he might have had a Cold Recently; his and Che’s jokes gave off a Similar Vibe.
Weekend Update: Katie (Beth’s Maid of Honor): I wonder if this bit would have made more sense in a full sketch setting, wherein you could actually see the wedding party and guests. Thus, if I had been there in the scheduling room for this episode, when someone answered “Update” to the question “Where should we put the Maid of Honor speech?”, I would have said, “Getting Colder.”
Weekend Update: Punch’s Mom: When Sarah Sherman plays Cold-Hearted Characters, my heart gets Warm and Tingly.

Leg Lengthening: With longer legs, that surely means greater strain on your circulatory system, ergo Colder Toes.

Office Dance: With all the references to a certain popular Apple TV show, this sketch was essentially Severance Lite, which is to say: A Little Bit of Warmth Imbuing the Suffocating Cold.

Mumford & Sons ft. Sierra Ferrell and Aaron Dessner, “Here”: Wearing sunglasses inside? I don’t know about that. Does Marcus have a bit of a fever? He might want to get that checked out.

Bachelorette Stripper: This closer definitely Brought the Heat, but it could’ve gone even bloodier.

Well, those are my thoughts about that episode. And you know what? On the weekend that we jump our clocks ahead, I’m going to watch a new Saturday Night Live episode featuring host Ryan Gosling and musical guest Gorillaz.