Lookin’ alive (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)

Starring: Zazie Beetz, Patricia Arquette, Myha’la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham, Angus Sampson, James Remar

Director: Kirill Sokolov

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: March 27, 2026 (Theaters)

They Will Kill You primarily takes place in a hotel, so I can’t help but ask: Would I like to live in Hotel TWKY (even if just for a little bit)? Well,  its calling card isn’t exactly promising, as it’s apparently built on a foundation of human sacrifice. So that’s not great. Even worse, it lets in hardly any natural light. I suppose that making my way through such hardships could build character. But life is already hard enough on its own!

Bangin’ soundtrack, though.

Grade: 131 Impalements out of 177 Bisections