Billboard Hot 20 – Week of December 23, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé – “Perfect”
2. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
3. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
4. Lil Pump – “Gucci Gang”
5. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
6. Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”
7. G-Eazy ft. A$AP Rocky and Cardi B – “No Limit”
8. Halsey – “Bad at Love”
9. Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
10. Maroon 5 ft. SZA – “What Lovers Do”
11. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas is You”
12. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
13. 6ix9ine – “Gummo”
14. Gucci Mane ft. Migos – “I Get the Bag”
15. Migos, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B – “MotorSport”
16. Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”
17. Dua Lipa – “New Rules”
18. J. Balvin and Willy William ft. Beyoncé – “Mi Gente”
19. Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid – “1-800-273-8255”
20. Selena Gomez and Marshmello – “Wolves”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. New Rules
2. Feel It Still
3. Havana
4. Mi Gente
5. Wolves

SNL Review December 9, 2017: James Franco/SZA

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CREDIT: Will Heath/NBC

My letter grades for each sketch and segment is below. My in-depth review is on NewsCult: http://newscult.com/snl-love-itkeep-itleave-james-francosza/

Mall Santa – B-

James Franco’s Monologue – C-

Office Sexual Harassment Apologies – C+

Gift Wrapping – C

Scrudge – B

Iowa City All-District Spelling Bee – B

SZA performs “The Weekend” – B

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B-
Cathy Anne – B+
A White Woman Named Gretchen – B

Courtroom aka ‘Za (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – B+

Christmas Charity – B

SZA performs “Love Galore” – B

Franco Family Reunion – B-

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of December 16, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
2. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
4. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
5. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
6. Theory of a Deadman – “Rx (Medicate)”
7. 30 Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
8. AC/DC – “Thunderstruck”
9. Imagine Dragons – “Whatever It Takes”
10. The Lumineers – “Angela”
11. Gary Clark, Jr. – “Come Together”
12. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
13. Led Zeppelin – “Immigrant Song”
14. Foo Fighters – “The Sky is a Neighborhood”
15. Beck – “Up All Night”
16. AC/DC – “Back in Black”
17. Vance Joy – “Lay It on Me”
18. U2 – “You’re the Best Thing About Me”
19. AC/DC – “You Shook Me All Night Long”
20. Linkin Park – “One More Light”
21. AC/DC – “Highway to Hell”
22. Foster the People – “Sit Next to Me”
23. Fall Out Boy – “Hold Me Tight or Don’t”
24. Nothing More – “Go to War”
25. The Killers – “The Man”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Immigrant Song
2. Back in Black
3. No Roots
4. Up All Night
5. Feel It Still
6. Highway to Hell
7. Thunderstruck
8. The Sky is a Neighborhood
9. The Man
10. You’re the Best Thing About Me
11. Come Together
12. Lay It on Me

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of December 16, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
2. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
3. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
4. Lil Pump – “Gucci Gang”
5. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
6. Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”
7. Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
8. G-Eazy ft. A$AP Rocky and Cardi B – “No Limit”
9. Maroon 5 ft. SZA – “What Lovers Do”
10. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
11. Halsey – “Bad at Love”
12. Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Love”
13. J. Balvin and Willy William ft. Beyoncé – “Mi Gente”
14. Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid – “1-800-273-8255”
15. Dua Lipa – “New Rules”
16. Gucci Mane ft. Migos – “I Get the Bag”
17. Migos, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B – “MotorSport”
18. 21 Savage – “Bank Account”
19. Post Malone – “I Fall Apart”
20. Selena Gomez and Marshmello – “Wolves”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. New Rules
2. Feel It Still
3. Havana
4. Mi Gente
5. Wolves

This Is a Movie Review: ‘I, Tonya,’ You, Enthralled Audience

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CREDIT: Neon

This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2017.

Starring: Margot Robbie, Allison Janney, Sebastian Stan, Julianne Nicholson, Paul Walter Hauser, Bobby Canavale

Director: Craig Gillespie

Running Time: 121 Minutes

Rating: R for Rinkside Potty Mouth and Redneck-Style Violence

Release Date: December 8, 2017 (Limited)

Every story needs a villain, but that’s not always how life works. Even when somebody gets clubbed in the knee leading up to the Olympics, separating the good guys from the bad guys is not always so clear-cut. This is all to say, Tonya Harding has lived a very colorful life, and some pretty illuminating details often get left out in the telling, so she deserves for us to hear her out. It would help, though, if all the parties involved could actually agree on what happened. Nevertheless, I, Tonya, the spirited biopic pieced together by director Craig Gillespie is a record of fantastically entertaining recent tabloid history that is can’t-look-away tawdry but also fair-minded and humanizing.

Harding is one of the all-time greats in American figure skating, but her reputation has forever been marked by the attack on her rival Nancy Kerrigan in the lead-up to the 1994 Olympics. In the popular imagination (and in a gleefully sadistic fantasy scene in the film), Harding was the assailant herself, but it was actually some guy hired by her ex-husband and her bodyguard, and it is questionable how much she ever knew about it in the first place. All of I, Tonya is building up to “The Incident,” but it takes up a relatively small portion of the runtime. After all, Harding’s life was enough of a whirlwind before then for her to already be the wild child in the public eye.

Betting that his big hook is conflicting testimonies and fluffing of image, Gillespie frames the film as a mockumentary consisting of interviews with the principal actors in character, disputing the accounts of the others as they see fit. This is a recipe for raucous storytelling, as every character is oozing with personality to spare. Margot Robbie is dangerously feisty and undeniably winning as she absolutely gives Tonya a chance to redeem herself and just let her voice be heard. Her mother LaVona (Allison Janney), accompanied with a parrot on her shoulder (credited as “LaVona’s Sixth Husband”), is a piece of work, egging her daughter on with profanity-laced tirades and motivational negging. Ex-husband Jeff Gillooly (Sebastian Stan) has mellowed a bit in the present day, but his fiery, mustachioed presence of yore gets a lot of mileage. And an unnamed producer (Bobby Canavale) of the ’90s tabloid news show Hard Copy fills in the blanks with maximum slickness. Not interviewed, but looming large, is Paul Walter Hauser as Shawn Eckhardt, Jeff’s close friend and Tonya’s supposed bodyguard, who earns the biggest laughs of the film, occasionally by just repeating verbatim some of Eckhardt’s most ridiculous claims (like how he is an expert in counterterrorism).

According to Tonya’s telling, there is one big constant: nothing is ever her fault. And certainly she has been a major victim, suffering at the hands of an abusive mother, an abusive husband, and a father who left her. Plus, there is the figure skating establishment that never accepted her, that would never hold up a white trash girl who performed to ZZ Top as their crown jewel. But for all the ways she has been wronged, it is so clear that she needs to shoulder some responsibility herself (as does anyone who wants to have peace). Yes, her ex beat her up, but she also pulled a shotgun on him (though she disputes that part). And sure, the stuffy figure skating establishment probably never gave her a fair chance, but she was intimidating and probably scared a few judges away from reasonability. Ultimately, Tonya implicates everyone watching in creating the monster she has come to be. To which I say: I don’t think you’re a monster! If Margot Robbie has portrayed you accurately, then I like you, Tonya! Chances are I won’t be the only one, as we all get to see the human within this crazy delicious mess.

I, Tonya is Recommended If You Like: The People v. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story, Tyson, Thelma & Louise

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Triple Axels

SNL Review December 2, 2017: Saoirse Ronan/U2

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CREDIT: Alison Hale/NBC

This post was originally published on News Cult in December 2017.

Love It

The Race – Office culture really does turn on the most insignificant of dimes that look completely nonsensical from the outside. So why not ramp that up to 11? An eighties-by-way-of-algorithm aesthetic, confident jerkoffs running off together in unison, traumatic holes in pants – it’s all just so left of pastiche that it hits that surreal sweet spot that is Beck and Kyle’s forte so sweetly. A few touches that could be going overboard with the weird – Lindsay (Ronan) being a ghost (and its matter-of-fact acknowledgement), Mac from Mac and Me, a cameoing Greta Gerwig doing the old elevator gag – somehow work when in unison.

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This Is a Movie Review: ‘The Disaster Artist’ is James Franco is Tommy Wiseau is the Star Inside Us All

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CREDIT: Justina Mintz/A24

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Dave Franco, James Franco, Seth Rogen, Alison Brie, Ari Graynor, Josh Hutcherson, Jacki Weaver, Zac Efron, Megan Mullally, Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, Hannibal Buress, Nathan Fielder, June Diane Raphael, Andrew Santino, Charlyne Yi, Melanie Griffith, Sharon Stone, Bob Odenkirk, Judd Apatow

Director: James Franco

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for an Auteur Asshole

Release Date: December 1, 2017 (Limited)/Expands Nationwide December 8, 2017

When I watched Shane Carruth’s 2013 film Upstream Color – about a man and a woman who ingest a larva with the power to drastically affect the human mind – I was excited by the conscious-altering possibilities. But I was ultimately disappointed by the impenetrable narrative. Upstream does have its fans, but I thought an opportunity was missed by presenting an abstract subject with just-as-abstract storytelling. But now we have a film that is more along the lines of what I thought Upstream Color was going to be, and that film is The Disaster Artist, which imposes a typical biopic structure onto one of the strangest individuals of all time. There is the classic rise-fall-rise and a soundtrack that raises the roof with beats that were first hits about a decade before the events of the film, but all this normality only illuminates the unfathomability that is Tommy Wiseau.

Wiseau has achieved a very unique sort of fame as the writer-director-producer-star of the 2003 independent melodrama The Room. It has been called by some the worst movie of all time, but that descriptor is way off-base. A better take that others have offered is “the greatest bad movie of all time,” but that is still not quite right. “A surreal masterpiece” is the moniker that I prefer. For The Disaster Artist to be successful, it does not need to be as surreal as The Room, as The Room already exists. Although perhaps a perfectly valid option would have been to simply remake The Room shot-for-shot with a new cast, which The Disaster Artist does in part in a delightful post-credits segment featuring recreations of classic scenes from The Room presented side-by-side along the originals, displaying how the new versions are accurate to every inch and millisecond.

James Franco directs and stars as Wiseau, and this proves to be the perfect outlet for his incorrigible proclivities. Wiseau is infamously dodgy about his personal background, but based on his accent, it is clear enough that he is from Eastern Europe, though he claims to be from New Orleans. But it is perhaps most accurate to think of him as a vampire caveman alien, as his odd syntax, singular worldview, and inexplicable behavior go beyond simply being lost in translation. Nobody but Tommy could be Tommy, but Franco comes as close as possible. And this is not the sort of lark that much of his career has come off as. Instead, it is in service of a strangely uplifting story about never giving up on your dreams.

Alongside Wiseau is his Room co-star/friend-despite-all-obstacles Greg Sestero (who co-wrote the book of the same name that The Disaster Artist is based on), played by James’ younger brother Dave. The younger Franco is a little more boyish than the deeper-voiced Sestero, but they both have an all-American squeaky-clean handsomeness befitting the moniker “Babyface,” Tommy’s nickname for Greg. The Franco brothers have significantly different faces than Sestero and Wiseau, though their looks are well approximated by solid hair and makeup jobs. This is not an exact encapsulation of the original Wiseau-Sestero dynamic (how could it be?), but there is some weird magic in the Franco pairing that works as an avatar to this weird creative pairing.

I read The Disaster Artist when it was first published in 2013. I have not re-read it since, so my memory of it is not perfectly fresh, but I remember enough to know that there is some streamlining at play here. But the liberties that were taken serve to bolster the film’s thesis that has been borne out by the directions that Wiseau and Sestero’s lives have taken since The Room has become a cult classic. In one scene, Tommy approaches a producer (Judd Apatow) at a restaurant, who assures Tommy that he will never find success in Hollywood in a million years. “But after that?” Tommy earnestly asks. It has not literally taken him that long to achieve his stardom, but “more than one million years later” might be the best figurative way to explain how long it took him to realize his dreams, and that boundlessness beyond normal temporality is the engine that The Disaster Artist runs on.

The obvious antecedent to this film is Ed Wood, but that earlier biopic was released more than a decade after the death of its titular maker of the worst films of all time. Tommy’s story is not over, and now it is inextricably tied up with the most fervent fans of The Room, many of whom populate the cast of The Disaster Artist. There are several moments in this making-of in which classic lines from The Room are uttered in Tommy’s personal life that could come off as fan service but avoid that pitfall because of how nakedly autobiographical The Room is. James Franco and his crew of shockingly eager collaborators have invited us all to take place in this autobiography, and the result is intoxicating.

The Disaster Artist is Recommended If You Like: The Room of course, Ed Wood, James and Dave Franco’s old Funny or Die videos, How Did This Get Made?

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Doggies

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Wonder Wheel’? More Like ‘Woody Allen Spinning His Wheels’

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CREDIT: Jessica Miglio/Amazon Studios

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Kate Winslet, Justin Timberlake, Juno Temple, Jim Belushi

Director: Woody Allen

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Angry Scotch Drinking and Off-Screen Whack Jobs

Release Date: December 1, 2017 (Limited)

Knee-jerk rejection of voiceover narration because it explains things too straightforwardly earns my ire as one of the worst habits in criticism. But in fact there are times when some filmmakers use the technique as crutch, and perhaps none as frequently as Woody Allen. At least in the case of his latest, Wonder Wheel, he attempts a more poetic form of narration, or so he would like us to believe. Scratch that. It’s not just poetic. It’s also dramatic. You see, because the narrator, Mickey Rubin (Justin Timberlake), isn’t just a lifeguard, he’s also a poet and a dramatist. One would think that there is enough drama inherent in a film that its narrator would not need to spell it out so directly, but Wonder Wheel puts that theory to the test.

Mickey would like you to know that he is also a player in the story that he is telling. Perhaps his presence is meant to spice up this tale with extra passion, but that does not appear to be the case in any discernible fashion. The setting is 1950s Coney Island, and most of the action is set in or around the beach or boardwalk. As far as I can tell, the endless amusement of this area is irrelevant to the people who live there. Mickey is having an affair with Ginny (Kate Winslet), a frustrated waitress married to Humpty (Jim Belushi), who is a decent protector but also a bit of a brute. The most interesting thing about him is his name – is it a nickname? Is it short for something? Could it actually be his given name? Meanwhile, Humpty’s adult daughter Carolina (Juno Temple) shows up unexpectedly, after having run off and married a gangster years earlier. She tries to lay low and get through night school, but naturally some of her husband’s associates come looking for her because she knows too much.

Ultimately, nobody gets a happy ending, which is hardly surprising. But it would have been nice if there had been some sense, any sense, of finality. One of the worst possible outcomes happens, and then Wonder Wheel just stops. Then we just move on out the theater and get on with our lives, with nary a memorable impression to show for it. Maybe the stagy, stilted, sporadically compelling acting style will stick with me a bit, but otherwise, it must be said: Woody, you don’t have to stick to your one-film-per-year routine. It is okay to wait until you find inspiration.

Wonder Wheel is Recommended If You Like: The Jim Belushi-aissance, Stage-style acting on film, Narration that is too wispy to even be pretentious

Grade: 2 out of 5 Humptys

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of December 9, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
2. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
4. Theory of a Deadman – “Rx (Medicate)”
5. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
6. AC/DC – “Thunderstruck”
7. Gary Clark, Jr. – “Come Together”
8. 30 Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
9. Led Zeppelin – “Immigrant Song”
10. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
11. AC/DC – “Back in Black”
12. Fall Out Boy – “Hold Me Tight or Don’t
13. The Lumineers – “Angela”
14. Foo Fighters – “The Sky is a Neighborhood”
15. AC/DC – “You Shook Me All Night Long”
16. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
17. Zach Williams – “Old Church Choir”
18. AC/DC – “Highway to Hell”
19. Vance Joy – “Lay It on Me”
20. Beck – “Up All Night”
21. Linkin Park – “One More Light”
22. U2 – “You’re the Best Thing About Me”
23. AC/DC – “T.N.T.”
24. AC/DC – “Hell’s Bells”
25. The Killers – “The Man”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Immigrant Song
2. T.N.T.
3. Hell’s Bells
4. Back in Black
5. No Roots
6. Up All Night
7. Feel It Still
8. Highway to Hell
9. Thunderstruck
10. The Sky is a Neighborhood
11. The Man
12. You’re the Best Thing About Me
13. Come Together
14. Lay It on Me

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of December 9, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
2. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
3. Lil Pump – “Gucci Gang”
4. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
5. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
6. Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
7. Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”
8. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
9. Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”
10. Maroon 5 ft. SZA – “What Lovers Do”
11. G-Eazy ft. A$AP Rocky and Cardi B – “No Limit”
12. J. Balvin and Willy William ft. Beyoncé – “Mi Gente”
13. Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid – “1-800-273-8255”
14. Halsey – “Bad at Love”
15. 21 Savage – “Bank Account”
16. Gucci Mane ft. Migos – “I Get the Bag”
17. Migos, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B – “MotorSport”
18. Dua Lipa – “New Rules”
19. Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber – “Despacito”
20. Selena Gomez and Marshmello – “Wolves”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. New Rules
2. Feel It Still
3. Havana
4. Mi Gente
5. Wolves

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