What Won TV? – March 19-March 25, 2017

March 26, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – The Mick
Wednesday – Legion is figuring it out.
Thursday – TIE: Baskets is in the family business; Review throws it all out there.
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – The Elite Eight hasn’t been close, but it is March Madness.

This Is a Movie Review: Prevenge

March 24, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Alice Lowe, Gemma Whelan, Kate Dickie, Jo Hartley

Director: Alice Lowe

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: Not Rated, But Note That It Has Plentiful Gleeful Stabbings

Release Date: March 24, 2017 (Limited)/Also Streaming on Shudder

From writer-director-star Alice Lowe, Prevenge follows Ruth (Lowe), a pregnant woman hunting down one-by-one those who have done her wrong. If you are into seeking out uncompromising horror films off the beaten path, then you know what you are in store for. Prevenge is all about forcefully setting the world aright with a feminist edge, in the vein of Teeth’s dark coming-of-age or The Loved Ones’ prom-gone-very-wrong. Lowe’s entry is an especially principled addition to the genre. There are so many ways that pregnancy can drain away independence, and Ruth’s experience very much leans into all of them. Sometimes supposedly following the kill commands of your unborn child is the only thing to hold on to when seeking anything resembling sense.

The other major piece of catnip for horror hounds here is the synth-heavy score, placing Prevenge in the long line of John Carpenter’s descendants. It is not so much the sounds themselves that stand out, but the way they are played: a particular phrase comes on multiple times and stops without warning. It lends a sense of the same terror being repeated over and over in a sort of Möbius strip. Ruth’s whole world is on edge, and there is no indication that will change after she accomplishes her goal or reaches her due date.

Prevenge is Recommended If You Like: The Loved Ones, Teeth, John Carpenter’s Scores

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Unwelcome Drunken Kisses

This Is a Movie Review: Life (2017)

March 23, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dihovichnaya

Director: Daniel Espinosa

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Beautifully Disturbing Blood Loss

Release Date: March 24, 2017

The paradox of life is that it requires death to be sustained. The paradox of Life is that its successes and failures are both technical, with staging both skillful and sloppy alternately sustaining and choking itself. This combination corresponds thematically with the story, but I do not think it is intentional, and it is frustrating regardless. This is a locked-room creature feature that does not show its hand too early. Once it does, it knows how to drag out the tension, but it also occasionally forgets that knowledge.

The premise here is ideal for instant dread. A six-person crew on board the International Space Station meets a life form that has hitched a ride on a returning Martian probe. Dubbed “Calvin” by a group of stargazing schoolchildren, the creature starts out microscopic but soon starts growing to the point that it is no longer a curiosity and more a threat. I know what you’re thinking: this is Alien, but in space … er, a different part of space. A part of space where your screams can be heard, if only all communication – as is so often the case – had not immediately been destroyed.

There is no escaping the comparisons to Ridley Scott’s extraterrestrial horror landmark, but Life does distinguish itself with plenty of philosophical thought lent to the creature concept. Each cell of Calvin has the capacity to fulfill any bodily function. It eventually grows to resemble a crystalline starfish, but it is very much its own new frontier, with its entire body (if that is even the right word) serving as mouth, hands, legs, and whatever else it can use to survive. Also, when it comes down to the resolution, this is more The Thing than Alien. The ISS is not in deep space, but rather close Earth orbit, so if Calvin is not suppressed, there is a very real chance he could consume the whole planet. Life does not shy away from just how nasty that implication is.

The devilish little monster flick that Life mostly succeeds at being is constantly interrupted by a survival tale that fails because no character has any room to come across as a fully realized human being. That is not necessary in a movie like this, but when there is as much dialogue as Life has, it becomes important. But the editing and cinematography seem wholly uninterested in any of that. Shots are frequently cut mid-sentence, effectively garbling the speech, and the look is so washed out, which is fine for generating unease, but annoying when attempting to make sense of facial expressions. Horror often works best by withholding its villain, but the formula is a little different when the monster is by far the most fascinating character.

Life is Recommended If You Like: Alien (though it’s not as well-crafted), The Thing (though it’s not quite as ominous), Tremors (but without the cheekiness)

Grade: 2.75 out of 5 Doomed Lab Rats

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 1, 2017

March 22, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
8. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
10. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
11. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
12. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
13. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
14. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
15. Papa Roach – “Help”
16. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
17. Shinedown – “How Did Love You”
18. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
19. The Lumineers – “Angela”
20. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
21. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
22. alt-J – “3WW”
23. Coldplay – “Hypnotised”
24. Kaleo – “All the Pretty Girls”
25. The xx – “On Hold”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. Way Down We Go
3. Heavydirtysoul
4. 3WW
5. Feel It Still
6. Love is Mystical
7. Love
8. Ride
9. All the Pretty Girls
10. On Hold
11. Middle Fingers
12. Hypnotised
13. Heathens
14. Fire Escape
15. Help
16. Angela
17. How Did You Love
18. Wish I Knew You
19. Heavy
20. Believer
21. Still Breathing
22. HandClap
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 1, 2017

March 22, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
3. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
4. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
5. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
6. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
7. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
8. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
9. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
10. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
11. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
12. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
13. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
14. Nicki Minaj, Drake, and Lil Wayne – “No Frauds”
15. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
16. Maroon 5 ft. Future – “Cold”
17. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
18. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
19. Future – “Mask Off”
20. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Love on the Brain
5. Rockabye
6. Closer
7. Bad and Boujee
8. Shape of You
9. That’s What I Like
10. Cold
11. It Ain’t Me
12. Something Just Like This
13. No Frauds
14. Mask Off
15. Paris
16. Bounce Back
17. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
18. iSpy
19. Body Like a Back Road
20. Mercy

The Simpsons 28.18 Review: “A Father’s Watch”

March 20, 2017

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“Moe says a third thing to feel a part of the group!” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-a-fathers-watch/

This Is a Movie Review: Wilson

March 20, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Woody Harrelson, Laura Dern, Isabella Amara, Judy Greer

Director: Craig Johnson

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for Fun-Loving Sociopathy

Release Date: March 24, 2017 (Limited)

If you found out that you had a daughter that you thought was aborted but was actually given up for adoption, would you track her down to cheer her on from afar like a proud papa? If so, that is an understandable instinct, but you might want to be discrete, considering the typical legal arrangements that prevent birth parents from contacting their adopted children. But Wilson the movie and Wilson the Woody Harrelson-portrayed title character have no such reservations. Instead, this father introduces himself to his long-lost daughter by mercilessly beating up her bullies.

Based on a graphic novel by Daniel Clowes (who also wrote the screenplay), Wilson the film at first glance appears to be a Misanthropist’s Guide to Life. But while Wilson the man does have major problems with humankind’s typical priorities, he actually does like people. He just wishes they would not so readily buy into the boring routine that society prescribes. His love is a playfully confrontational one. Plenty of people adopt a cutesy singsong voice when talking to dogs; but it is those few among us like Wilson who use that voice to spout some insane life philosophy. Or at least, it sounds like insanity to everyone else, but for him, it is the only way to be.

Harrelson emphasizes Wilson’s fun-loving nature; his joy is infectious, but also dangerous. He can string you along for a weekend getaway, or a delightful afternoon at the park, but he could also lead you behind bars. The legal troubles that bedevil Wilson feel unfair, but also perfectly understandable. Whatever dichotomy there appears to be here is less a contradiction and more a yin/yang. Wilson is not railing against phonies – he just wants everyone to loosen up. His film is a slightly unnerving adventure, but you gotta come along for the ride, man.

Wilson is Recommended If You Like: Fight Club But Wish It Were More Slice-of-Life, Enlightened, Nebraska

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Cute Dogsitters

What Won TV? – March 12-March 18, 2017

March 19, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Milo Murphy’s Law
Tuesday – The Middle and New Girl are both heating up, relationship-wise.
Wednesday – Speechless
Thursday – Review is as necessary as ever.
Friday – VICE
Saturday – This college basketball is so mad.

This Is a Movie Review: T2 Trainspotting

March 15, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Anjela Nedyalkova

Director: Danny Boyle

Running Time: 117 Minutes

Rating: R for Pointy Things – Both Body Parts and Devices You Stick Into Your Body

Release Date: March 17, 2017 (Limited)

1996’s Trainspotting features one of the most iconic opening shots in film history, as Ewan McGregor’s feet fall from the sky and then pound the Edinburgh pavement to the inimitable strains of “Lust for Life.” The kickoff to 20-years-later sequel T2 Trainspotting directly calls back to its predecessor, but in a sly way that ensures this is no empty exercise in nostalgia. And really, how could it have ever been that? Getting back together with your junkie criminal mates is not exactly the stuff of teary-eyed reunions. T2 falls short of reaching the landmark status of the original (a nearly impossible task), but its themes (“choose life,” choose whatever the hell you could possibly choose) and hallucinogenic style remain intact.

It has been several years since I saw Trainspotting, and over the course of T2, it becomes abundantly clear how many plot specifics I have forgotten. Luckily this is the type of sequel that fills you in on everything, with enough dreamy flair to prevent any flashbacks feeling like spoon-feeding. Renton (McGregor) has been living in the Netherlands with his Dutch wife; he still runs, but for exercise, not to escape the law. Spud (Ewen Bremner) got clean for a little while, but is now on the brink of suicide. Sick Boy (Jonny Lee Miller), in between “running” a family pub, is pulling a sleazy blackmail extortion scheme with the help of his young Bulgarian “girlfriend” Veronika (Anjela Nedyalkova). Franco (Robert Carlyle) is serving a 25-year jail sentence and scheming to get out. And Diane (Kelly Macdonald) is now a lawyer, dropping in for a cameo consultation.

Nobody is thrilled over Renton’s return, considering he stole everyone else’s shares of the drug deal at the end of the first film. But they mostly reconcile enough to commit to Sick Boy’s plan to open a “spa” (i.e., brothel). Franco, fulfilling the wild card role, is off on his own teaching his son how to sell stolen goods; he is much less forgiving when his and Renton’s paths cross.

Whether or not they succeed (or what success even is in this situation) is beside the point. T2 is about taking stock of one’s life, and how unsettling such midlife reflections are with a druggie past (and present). Director Danny Boyle throws out all his tricks to make this chapter simultaneously unsettling, beautiful, and hypnotic. Camera angles are slightly askew, slow motion and freeze frames disrupt the rhythm, and even Snapchat filters are used to great effect. Adding to the surrealism (for non-Scottish audiences) is the impenetrability of the thick accents. There is a bit of fun with subtitles during one Franco scene, but otherwise we are left to our own devices to figure out what the hell everyone is saying. For the most part, I do not even bother with such translation; I would advise you to do the same.

In one unforgettably riveting scene, McGregor resurrects the classic “Choose Life” monologue for a new generation. The rejection (but also pseudo-acceptance) of capitalism inherent in these speeches is what fuels this series. There is plenty left in the tank to continually define the Trainspotting thesis. In just five minutes, McGregor demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt why he would ever want to revisit such an iconic role.

T2 Trainspotting is Recommended If You Like: Sequels That Seem Unnecessary But Turn Out to be Quite Fulfilling

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Needles Shared Between Friends

The Simpsons 28.17 Review: “22 for 30”

March 14, 2017

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“When we return, the interesting part.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-22-for-30/

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