The 2016 Jeff Malone Academy Awards

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If I were in charge of unilaterally selecting the Oscars, here is who would be recognized. Nominees are listed alphabetically, winners in bold.

Best Picture
Arrival
Midnight Special
The Neon Demon
The Witch
Zootopia

Best Director
Robert Eggers, The Witch
Pablo Larraín, Jackie
Jeff Nichols, Midnight Special
Denis Villeneuve, Arrival
Nicolas Winding Refn, The Neon Demon

Lead Actor
Paul Dano, Swiss Army Man
John Goodman, 10 Cloverfield Lane
Jake Gyllenhaal, Nocturnal Animals
Sam Neill, Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Daniel Radcliffe, Swiss Army Man

Lead Actress
Mackenzie Davis, Always Shine
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Ruth Negga, Loving
Natalie Portman, Jackie
Anya Taylor-Joy, The Witch

Supporting Actor
Lucas Dawson, The Witch
Oscar Isaac, X-Men: Apocalypse
Keanu Reeves, The Neon Demon
Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals
Alex Wolff, Patriots Day

Supporting Actress
Khandi Alexander, Patriots Day
Ellie Grainger, The Witch
Greta Gerwig, Jackie
Alison Sudol, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Lulu Wilson, Ouija: Origin of Evil

Original Screenplay
Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou, The Lobster
Jeff Nichols, Midnight Special
Josh Campbell, Matthew Stuecken, and Damien Chazelle, 10 Cloverfield Lane
Robert Eggers, The Witch
Jared Bush and Phil Johnston, Zootopia

Adapted Screenplay
Eric Heiserrer, Arrival
Jon Spaihts, Scott Derrickson, and C. Robert Cargill, Doctor Strange
Luke Davies, Lion
Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney, Moonlight
Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals

Animated Feature
Zootopia

Cinematography
Bradford Young, Arrival
Stéphane Fontaine, Jackie
Seamus McGarvey, Nocturnal Animals
Flavio Martínez Labiano, The Shallows
Newton Thomas Sigel, X-Men: Apocalypse

Costume Design
Courtney Hoffman, Captain Fantastic
Sang-gyeong Jo, The Handmaiden
Erin Benach, The Neon Demon
Kym Barrett, The Nice Guys
Arianne Phillips, Nocturnal Animals

Film Editing
Joe Walker, Arrival
Michael Aller and Kirk M. Morri, Lights Out
Jennifer Lame, Manchester by the Sea
Joan Sobel, Nocturnal Animals
Louise Ford, The Witch

Makeup and Hairstyling
Doctor Strange
The Neon Demon
Nocturnal Animals
Star Trek: Beyond
X-Men: Apocalypse

Original Score
Jóhann Jóhannsson, Arrival
Michael Giacchino, Doctor Strange
Mica Levi, Jackie
Cliff Martinez, The Neon Demon
Abel Korzeniowski, Nocturnal Animals

Original Song
“Another Day of Sun,” written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, La La Land
“City of Stars,” written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, La La Land
“Drive It Like You Stole It,” written by Gary Clark, Sing Street
“Start a Fire,” written by Justin Hurwitz and John Legend, La La Land
“Waving Goodbye,” written by Sia Furler, The Neon Demon

Production Design
Arrival
Don’t Breathe
The Handmaiden
La La Land
X-Men: Apocalypse

Sound Editing
Sylvain Bellemare, Arrival
Christopher Bonis, Don’t Breathe
Robert MacKenzie and Andy Wright, Hacksaw Ridge
Matthew Wood, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Alan Robert Murray and Bob Asman, Sully

Sound Mixing
Bernard Gariépy Strobl and Claude La Haye, Arrival
Csaba Major, Don’t Breathe
Andy Nelson, Ai-Ling Lee, and Steve A. Morrow, La La Land
Scott Harber, Nocturnal Animals
Michael B. Koff, Patriots Day

Visual Effects
Captain America: Civil War
Doctor Strange
The Jungle Book
Swiss Army Man
X-Men: Apocalypse

Documentary
Amanda Knox
I Am Not Your Negro
OJ: Made in America
Tower

Animated Short/Documentary Short/Live Action Short
I wish that shorts were more readily viewable theatrically or that these categories be seriously reconsidered.

Foreign Language Film
Elle
The Handmaiden
Toni Erdmann

This Is a Movie Review: Get Out

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get-out-daniel-kaluuya

Get Out did not have me getting out of my seat from fright, which is unsurprising because I generally don’t get too scared at horror movies. But I imagine most people will not be frightened, as its techniques are less about jump scares (though it does have those) or general dread than about mindbending. Its signature concept (“the sunken place”) is a killer example.

This is basically cultural appropriation as body horror. Knowing that it is from Jordan Peele makes it easy – and sensible – to say that this concept could have started as a comedy sketch that evolved into a fright flick. And indeed, as the reveal plays out, it is clear that this actually has been done as comedy before.

I have a slight problem with a couple of moments that are endemic to the evil genius genre, in which small mistakes inexplicably give the hero a fighting chance. But I don’t want to quibble too much, because this is a clever extreme dramatization of a real societal fear, which is what the best horror movies do.

I give Get Out 18 Awkwardly Casually Racist Remarks out of 20 Days.

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of March 4, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
4. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
8. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
10. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
11. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
12. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
13. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
14. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
15. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
16. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
17. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
18. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
19. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
20. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
21. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
22. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
23. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
24. The xx – “On Hold”
25. Skillet – “Stars”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Somebody Else
7. On Hold
8. Ride
9. Heathens
10. Fire Escape
11. How Did You Love
12. Wish I Knew You
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Heavy
16. Believer
17. Take It All Back
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Stars
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of March 4, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
3. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
4. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
5. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
6. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
7. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
8. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
9. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
10. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
11. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
12. Drake – “Fake Love”
13. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
14. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
15. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
16. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
17. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
18. Lady GaGa – “Million Reasons”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
20. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Scars to Your Beautiful
3. Black Beatles
4. Starboy
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. Closer
8. Million Reasons
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. That’s What I Like
12. Paris
13. Bad and Boujee
14. Bounce Back
15. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
16. iSpy
17. Bad Things
18. Fake Love
19. Don’t Wanna Know
20. Mercy

This Is a Movie Review: Bitter Harvest

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THE DEVIL'S HARVEST

This review was originally published on News Cult in February 2017.

Starring: Max Irons, Samantha Barks, Tamer Hassan, Barry Pepper, Terence Stamp

Director: George Mendeluk

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for War Violence and Disturbing Authoritarianism

Release Date: February 24, 2017 (Limited)

A film like Bitter Harvest reminds me of cinema’s power to uncover stories that had been lost to history. Unfortunately, it does not also remind me of cinema’s power to transform my whole day into something magical.

The setting is rural Ukraine against the backdrop of the 1932-33 Soviet famine. Young artist Yuri (Max Irons) struggles against starvation to build a better life for himself and his childhood sweetheart Natalka (Samantha Barks). Circumstances conspire to drive them apart – as is typical in times of love and war – as he heads to the city and joins the resistance movement. It is a long road back to their reunion, but any happy ending will necessarily be tempered by the devastation that has wrecked their community. For such an infrequently told story, the beats of storytelling are all too familiar.
Bitter Harvest finds inspiration from earlier tales of war but also struggles to commit to anything. There is a hint at something involving a combatant taking pity on an artistic prisoner in the vein of The Pianist, but that goes nowhere. The final act is an Odyssey-style trek home, but the sub-2-hour running time prevents the epic feel that such an approach would require. There is one scene involving poison and revenge with an entertainingly hallucinatory style, but it proves to be an aberration in terms of positive takeaways.

The forced starvation of Ukrainians is up there among the greatest tragedies of the 20th century, but I doubt that it is very well-known outside Ukraine. So I appreciate that Bitter Harvest is being released so that English-speaking audiences will be exposed to it, but I wish that the actual film dramatized the story better than the epilogue does.

Bitter Harvest is Recommended If You Like: European History

Grade: 2 out of 5 Soviet Memories

Son of Zorn 1.13 Review: “All Hail Son of Zorn”

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SON OF ZORN:  Artemis Pebdani in the "All Hail Son of Zorn" season finale episode of SON OF ZORN airing Sunday, Feb. 19 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2017 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  FOX

Uppy-downy or side-by-side? http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-all-hail-son-of-zorn/

The Simpsons 28.15 Review: “The Cad and the Hat”

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THE SIMPSONS: - When Bart betrays Lisa, he has to deal with his Guilt—literally. Meanwhile, Springfield is in awe when it is revealed that Homer is a chess savant, on the all-new “The Cad and the Hat” episode airing Sunday, Feb. 19, (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT). THE SIMPSONS ™ and © 2016 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THE SIMPSONS ™ and © 2016 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. CR: FOX.

“Er, uh, it’s not cleaner. We just lowered our safety standards.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-the-cad-and-the-hat/

What Won TV? – February 12-February 18, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

bobs-burgers_bob-actually

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – The Young Pope is not so young anymore.
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Man Seeking Woman – I think he found her..
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – SNL Vintage

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of February 25, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
3. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
8. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
9. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
10. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
11. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
12. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
13. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
14. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
15. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
16. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
17. Nickelback – “Feed the Machine”
18. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
19. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
20. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
21. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
22. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
23. The xx – “On Hold”
24. Skillet – “Stars”
25. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Love is Mystical
5. Unsteady
6. Heavydirtysoul
7. Somebody Else
8. On Hold
9. Ride
10. Heathens
11. How Did You Love
12. Wish I Knew You
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Feed the Machine
16. Believer
17. Take It All Back
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Stars
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of February 25, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Lady GaGa – “Million Reasons”
5. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
6. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
7. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
8. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
9. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
10. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
11. Drake – “Fake Love”
12. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
13. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
14. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
15. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
16. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
17. Aminé – “Caroline”
18. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
20. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side to Side
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. Closer
8. Million Reasons
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. Paris
12 Bad and Boujee
13. Bounce Back
14. I Don’t Wanna Live (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. Bad Things
16. Let Me Love You
17. Caroline
18. Fake Love
19. Don’t Wanna Know
20. Mercy

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