This Is a Movie Review: The Shallows

June 24, 2016

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the-shallows

The premise for The Shallows – Blake Lively stuck on a rock while a hungry shark prowls around – sounds like a recipe for lean, no-frills horror. Alas, there are some frills, in the form of a fairly standard issue backstory. Lively plays Nancy, a med school student with some doubts about her life’s trajectory following the death of her mother, so she comes to surf at the remote Mexican beach that Mom visited while pregnant with her. These details are sort of superfluous, but they are well-deployed, explaining Nancy’s motivation and resourcefulness as she fights to survive. Plus, it gives director Jaume Collet-Serra plenty of opportunities to show off his knack for cinematizing mobile communication.

Most striking about The Shallows is the gorgeous cinematography, courtesy of Flavio Martínez Labiano. In addition to the gratuitous cheesecake shots, there are sublimely expansive vistas of the hills and shore overlooking the ocean. This beauty might feel out of place for a film whose m.o. is striking fear, but the widescreen quality is utilized smartly. Visuals that are initially life-affirming eventually serve to viscerally emphasize the isolation and long odds faced by Nancy.

For anyone worried about the implications of the MPAA’s ruling, rest assured that The Shallows is probably the goriest PG-13 movie I have ever seen. From Nancy’s improvised surgery on herself, to the fates that befall some of her would-be saviors, there are moments as intense as any of those from the most explicit creature features. The subgenre of Impossible Odds Thrillers exists to convince moviegoers they can survive life-or-death situations more than they ever thought possible. The Shallows is unrelenting in that belief.

Finally, everything you have heard about Blake Lively’s seagull co-star is true.

I give The Shallows 8 Reservoirs of Internal Strength out of 10 Expressions of Terror.

This Is a Movie Review: Now You See Me 2

June 24, 2016

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now-you-see-me-2

The first Now You See Me did not stick the landing so much as it hit the ground with a sledgehammer, by force of a twist ending that made one of its main characters much more psychotic than the film had any intention of grappling with. It was, in a word, breathtaking. Now You See Me 2 responds in kind with a similarly outrageous long con that is very much in keeping with the spirit of this series – that is to say: maddening, but weirdly satisfying if you have a high tolerance for insanity. The problem, however, is that this time there is not much to tide you over until that ending comes. Where the original had a silly but kinetic Robin Hood-style caper plot to run on, number 2 is a whole lotta lack of clarity.

I give Now You See Me 2 5 Acknowledgements of Its Sexism out of 10 Other Things It Should Have Also Been Doing.

This Is a Movie Review: Finding Dory

June 22, 2016

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finding_dory

A lot of sequels are unsuccessful due to wholly unnatural extensions of the original. Finding Dory has no such problem. Following the events of Finding Nemo, it only makes sense that the blue tang voiced by Ellen DeGeneres would want to swim across the ocean to find her parents. That predictability is definitely not a problem, but it does hold the film back from transcendence. It tightly follows an easily navigable pattern: complete this mission, move on to the next one. Not every plot development is predictable, but every resolution is. That is, except for a truly astounding ending that breaks all sense of believability. True, believability may not be the most important factor for the movies examining the Secret Life of Marine Animals, but one still expects limits. That is not a complaint, though. The entire film could have benefited from this go-for-broke mentality.

I give Finding Dory 5 out of 7 Septapus Legs.

This Is a Movie Review: Little Sister

June 22, 2016

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littlesister

Director Zach Clark’s Little Sister, which played as part of BAMcinemaFest 2016, captures the essence of childhood’s steady grip on young adulthood. In this particular case, the young adult is Colleen (Addison Timlin), a nun who gets back in touch with her teenage goth side when she returns to her parents’ home in North Carolina to visit her war hero brother, who was badly burned by an explosion in Iraq. The transformation from mistress of the night to mistress of God might sound like the kooky creation of a Hollywood screenwriter, but let me tell ya: as someone who went to a Catholic high school, I have witnessed a goth contingent among the faithful. Now, whether or not any of those girls went on to the abbey, I will have to admit my doubts. The point is, this premise is not that far a stretch from reality.

The film grapples with accepting life’s shortcomings when it does not live up to the assumptions and perceptions borne of inexperience. Grown children realize the extent of their parents’ drug use, a pending marriage is challenged by physical disfigurement, and an abbey struggles to fulfill its charity work when the mother superior’s car is unavailable longer than unexpected. Little Sister hits that sweet spot between oddness and familiarity.

I give Little Sister 2 Hugs out of 2.5 Drugs.

This Is a Movie Review: The Conjuring 2

June 12, 2016

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CONJURING-2-Old-Man

The Conjuring 2 tackles head on questions that hound nearly every supernatural horror movie:
-Why doesn’t the family just leave when they relize their house is haunted? (They do, immediately and hilariously. Plus, they are at the mercy of public housing.)
-How can only a few characters recognize the haunting when it is so often so obvious? (Little time is wasted with keeping anyone in the dark, and any skepticism that exists serves a purpose.)
-How do you make a horror sequel that still manages to surprise without alienating your audience? (Keep the same tone, while changing the nature of the beast.)

The next ghost hunting tale from the files of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) leaves Rhode Island behind for London. The thick-as-fog Enfield accents are impenetrable, but essential for pinpointing a sense of place and establishing The Conjuring 2 as its own thing. That sense of particularity serves the film well, especially when it seems to give away all of its tricks less than halfway through. This story could wrap up quite tidily, with the Warrens swooping in to exorcise the house and then promptly moving on their merry way. There is, after all, a whiff of “been there, done that,” with the character designs and demonic motivations quite similar to both the first film and director James Wan’s other supernatural horror series. But wisely, with a nagging sense that there is something else going on, there is a carrot stick promising further mysterious resolution. The ultimate twist is not mind-blowing, but it is far from insulting, and it is in keeping with this series’ m.o. of tension-building and catharsis.

There is also a goopy heart at the center of both Conjuring movies that make them a lot (legitimately) sweeter than any other horror movie. One may quibble with the real-life legitimacy of the Warrens’ methods, but the strength of their marriage is not up for debate. Their flirtatiousness is family-friendly, but playfully passionate. Farmiga and Wilson bring a lot of soul and verve to their performances; even though they are dealing with the wildest of life-and-death situations, they never lose their tenderness or their senses of humor. In conclusion: this is a perfectly scary horror movie that makes time for Patrick Wilson’s uncanny Elvis impression, and it plays that moment completely straight.

I give The Conjuring 2 10 Real Scares out of 8 Fake Out Scares That Turn Into Real Scares.

One more thing: Like the original, The Conjuring 2 is rated R essentially for how scary it is, which is kind of ridiculous. There is no sex, no gore (other than a few cuts and scrapes), and no naughty words. A legitimate case could be made for a mere PG.

This Is a Movie Review: Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

June 12, 2016

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Neighbors2

Neighbors 2 is admirably feminist, though it only sporadically deploys that feminism into dynamic filmmaking. It is a sorority instead of a fraternity next door to new parents Mac and Kelly (Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne) this time, and neither side is really villainous. The adults just want their house to look good while they’re in escrow, and the college gals are taking a stand against the sexist Greek system. It is heartening to see a sisterhood embracing fun while rejecting degradation, but the dialogue that directly calls for gender equality is inelegant. As the three main sisters, Chloë Grace Moretz, Kiersey Clemons, and Beanie Feldstein all have their talents, but compellingly explaining exactly what they are doing is not one of them. The comedy is less constrained. For better or for most disturbing, it heads into outrageousness ethically, temperamentally, and geographically. In the end, it all somehow works out, believe it or not.

I give Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising 7 Jokes Involving a Dildo out of 10 Jokes Involving a Toddler.

This Is a Movie Review: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

June 12, 2016

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PopstarNeverStopNeverStopping

Interestingly enough, Popstar is not entirely concerned about crafting a surreal world of excessive celebrity ridiculousness. Nay, in fact, its primary purpose is adding a healthy dose of progressivism to the typical showbiz redemption story. Just consider what is perhaps the film’s most buzzworthy moment: Connor4Real (Andy Samberg) has been tricked into an attempted reconciliation with his Style Boyz bandmates. So far, so typical. As he brags about and demonstrates his female fans’ penchant to ask for mammary signatures, a male fan is actually flopping his member around, with Connor embarrassingly unaware until it is too late to politely decline the request. Popstar demands that the Connor4Real’s of the real music world put their money where their mouths are and not let their egos get in the way of endorsing civil rights.

The specialty of Samberg, Akiva Shaffer, and Jorma Taccone in Lonely Island mode is surreal surprise with just enough accessibility. That element is present in Popstar, but ultimately they are challenging themselves with something more (for lack of a better word) “real.” They do not sacrifice either element, making for an unwieldy tonal mix, and they could use some more idiosyncrasy in the telling of the narrative, but it is a valiant, valuable effort.

I give Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping 250 Stops and 750 Never Stops Out of 1000 Attempts.

This Is a Movie Review: The Nice Guys

June 12, 2016

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TNG_Day_#42_01232015-324.dng

For a movie that is presumably less about its plot and more an opportunity to mess around with the rules of a genre, The Nice Guys puts a lot of effort into making its plot substantial. Sure, the main attractions are Ryan Gosling adorably bungling around, Russell Crowe wittily roughing folks up, and Angourie Rice providing the competence while still remaining a believable teenager. But the quagmire they get mixed up in sure offers plenty of food for thought. The strain of killings they stumble into investigating turn out to all be related to an experimental film with elements of porn (or is it the other way around?) meant to expose the auto industry’s part in strangling the world with pollution. The whole messy story opens up a can of ethical quandary worms that The Nice Guys pointedly in its gumshoe nihilism does not answer. How could it, when the conspiracy runs this deep?

I give The Nice Guys 20 Gun Gags out of 25 Disco Soundtrack Selections.

This Is a Movie Review: Keanu

June 10, 2016

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keanu-movie

Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have continually peeled away at the outrageousness of modern machismo on their eponymous Comedy Central show. A sketch may be the ideal format for doing so, as their characters in that context can be as caricaturish as they need them to be. But in a film, typically the main characters have to track as real people. In Keanu, Clarence (Key) and Rell (Peele) come off as genuine as they trek through the drug-dealing black market to retrieve the titular cat. And as they pass themselves off as gangsters, they in fact do target machismo just as progressively as K&P usually do. But because they exist in a world that is supposed to be realer than the exaggerated worlds this duo usually plays around IN, there are a lot of hairy implications that are never fully dealt with. Their energy is as righteous as ever, making for some hearty laughs, but they leave an aftertaste of, “But how CAN this be fully resolved?” and “This is where you leave us?!”

I give Keanu 5.5 Oh My God!’s out of 9 Did That Really Just Happens?!’s.

This Is a Movie Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

May 30, 2016

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xmen-apocalypse

X-Men: Apocalypse is liable to thrill and offend audiences in equally extreme measure. I mean, come on, just consider the plot: the oldest mutant arises from his millennia-long sleep after being betrayed in ancient Egypt, and then he works to enact his plan to conquer humankind and establish mutants in their rightful place atop the new world order. The acting, direction, production design, makeup, and cinematography all match the grandiosity of this vision. To make it all work, Bryan Singer and team take a mix-and-match approach to the plotting, mining elements from the comics and the earlier X-Men films and recycling or rejecting them as they see fit. The result is unmistakably audacious and constantly thrilling. This is a movie in which a Holocaust survivor razes Auschwitz, and in many respects that is not even the most shocking moment.

This bombast asks a lot of the actors, but most of them acquit themselves well, or at least as well as they possibly can. As the titular baddie, Oscar Isaac weaves gold despite being caked under a mountain of purple makeup. This could easily be a ridiculous role, and it actually is, but it is also frightening, kind of hilarious, and deeply felt. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy (Fassbender especially) benefit from drawing upon their earlier performances (and those of their predecessors). As Jean Grey, Sophie Turner must simultaneously be a novice and one of the most powerful beings in the world – she manages to pull off the appropriate dread and uncertainty. While not every character shines (an inevitability with a cast this big), Apocalypse is another example of an X-Men movie understanding its fundamental strength of a rainbow of unique powers. More than any other entry in the series, this is a film in which it truly feels like anything can happen.

I give X-Men: Apocalypse 8 Grand Speeches out of 10 Risers From the Ashes.

P.S.: Quicksilver’s signature scene tops the “Time in a Bottle” sequence from Days of Future Past, but even more jaw-dropping is the scene right before, in which Apocalypse legitimately destroys the status quo.

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