In ‘The Old Guard,’ Immortality is a Burden and a Blessing

July 14, 2020

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THE OLD GUARD – Charlize Theron as ÓAndy” (CREDIT: Aimee Spinks/Netflix)

Starring: Charlize Theron, Kiki Layne, Matthias Schoenarts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Harry Melling, Van Veronica Ngo, Anamaria Marinca

Director: Gina Prince-Bythewood

Running Time: 125 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: July 10, 2020 (Netflix)

I’m trying something out with some of my recent movie reviews in which I ask myself, “Does this movie make me want to do what the movie is about?” So therefore I ask of you, The Old Guard, “Do you make me to be immortal?” To which I answer, “No, you do not.” But in the interest of fairness, I must acknowledge that Charlize Theron and her crew aren’t quite immortal, so really I should be asking, “Do I want to live for thousands of years and then become suddenly, unpredictably vulnerable to death?” To which I would then respond, “Not particularly.” But I don’t really suppose that The Old Guard is advocating for immortality or near-immortality. If anything, it wants us to ask ourselves, “Will I take advantage of my gifts to transcend myself and make the world a better place?” And my answer in that case is, “Of course!” It takes a while to get that point, though.

I give The Old Guard 3 Bullet Wounds out of 5 Millennia.

This Is a ‘Palm Springs’ Review… This Is a ‘Palm Springs’ Review… This Is a ‘Palm Springs’ Review…

July 13, 2020

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Palm Springs (CREDIT: NEON/Hulu)

Starring: Andy Samberg, Cristin Milioti, Meredith Hagner, Camila Mendes, Tyler Hoechlin, J.K. Simmons, Peter Gallagher, Dale Dickey

Director: Max Barbakow

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: July 10, 2020 (Hulu and Drive-In Theaters)

Time loop movies are surprisingly robust. You might think Groundhog Day has perfected the formula, but then all these newbies arrive in its wake, and they’re all, at the very least, not half bad. Case in point: the pretty dang good Palm Springs, which finds Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti stuck at a wedding. So I have decided to review Palm Springs by comparing it to all the other Groundhog Day-style time loop movies I’ve seen:

–Palm Springs isn’t as transcendent as Groundhog Day, but it has a deeper conversation with eternity.
–Palm Springs doesn’t have the sinister undertones of Source Code, although there is a random appearance from a certain extinct species that makes me think that maybe you could theorize about something like that lurking beneath the surface.
–Palm Springs is more rooted in theoretical science than sci-fi when compared to Edge of Tomorrow, though it doesn’t flaunt it.
–Palm Springs is a whole heck of a lot more fun than Before I Fall.
–Palm Springs doesn’t have as much time for death montages as Happy Death Day. But both of them have plenty of time for fun and are thus the most kindred of spirits within this subgenre. The former takes place at a wedding and the latter at a college, and college friends are often invited to weddings, after all.
–Palm Springs is not a sequel, unlike Happy Death Day 2 U. Perhaps one day Palm Springs will get a sequel, though I doubt it. But if it ever does, I’ll watch it.

I give Palm Springs 4 out of 4 out of 4 out of 4 out of 4 out of 4 Dinosaurs

Original Streaming Movie Catch-Up: Some Positive Thoughts About ‘Cam’

July 7, 2020

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Cam (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Madeline Brewer, Patch Darragh, Melora Walters, Devin Druid, Imani Hakim

Director: Daniel Goldhaber

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Release Date: November 16, 2018 (Netflix)

Cam is a very sex-positive movie.

That might sound like an obvious thing to say. ESPECIALLY if you’re familiar with the synopsis. Madeline Brewer (the star of the film) plays Alice, who works as a webcam model. That is to say, she puts on live shows on the Internet of herself performing in a sexual manner. But then her feed is commandeered by someone (or something) that looks exactly like her, and she has to do her darndest to recover it.

There’s no tsk-tsking about Alice’s chosen profession, even during moments when you think there might be. Sure, there are a few bozos who overstep boundaries, but that’s more than counteracted plenty of support. For example, when the truth about Alice is revealed to her mom, you’re primed for her reaction to be, “You have brought great shame to this family.” But instead, she recognizes an increased confidence in her daughter as she slips into her online persona and basically says to her, “I’m so proud of you.” There’s actually a bit of miscommunication in that moment, but it’s nevertheless nice to have that boost when you’re in the fight of your life against a ghost (or whatever the doppelgänger is).

Human beings are sexual creatures. Supernatural entities that steal our identities can’t stop that. But it sure is scary when they try to.

I give Cam 400 Tokens.

‘John Lewis: Good Trouble’ Has a Compelling Subject, But It Needs to Go Deeper

July 2, 2020

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John Lewis: Good Trouble (CREDIT: Magnolia Pictures)

Starring: Congressman John Lewis

Director: Dawn Porter

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG for Reminders of Real-Life Prejudice

Release Date: July 3, 2020 (Theaters and On Demand)

If you want to demonstrate how the American civil rights movement that reached its apotheosis in the 1960s continues to this day, you could do much worse than making a documentary about John Lewis. This man marched alongside Dr. Martin Luther King, and he’s gone on to represent Georgia in Congress for over 30 years. Over the course of his life, he’s been present for important change that has already happened, and he continues to fight for important change that still needs to happen. Just showing footage of where he’s been and where he’s headed ought to be galvanizing, especially in a time of a great national reckoning with race. But John Lewis: Good Trouble never fully captures the fighting spirit of its subject.

The trouble with Good Trouble, particularly for any viewers who are generally tuned into the trends of cinema and current events, is that the topics it touches upon are covered more thoroughly in other recent documentaries. If you want a historical outline of what has led to so much of America’s racial prejudice, check out Ava DuVernary’s 13th. Or if  you want to be on top of voter suppression, Slay the Dragon is essential viewing. Good Trouble, on the other hand, works mostly as a reminder that these problems exist. It’s nice to know that Lewis is still around in these battles, kicking up the sort of stir that the title refers to, but the inspiration can go only so far if you already knew that about him.

There is one interesting episode that covers the 1986 Congressional election. In the Democratic primary, Lewis squared off against Julian Bond, a close friend and fellow African-American activist. It was a bitterly fought contest in which Lewis implied that Bond used cocaine and emerged victorious thanks to his strong performance among white voters. The strain among these two clear allies must have been significant and surely dramatic enough to devote more than the few minutes that Good Trouble allows it. The fact that the film so quickly switches back to focusing on Lewis’ accomplishments doesn’t necessarily feel like it’s meant to cover up any faults so much as it comes off as cinematic carelessness. Even the most righteous among us have complicated stories; Good Trouble struggles to make that clear.

John Lewis: Good Trouble is Recommended If You Like: Biographical inspiration, but don’t mind some repetition

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Marches

Dear ‘Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga’: I Feel the Joy!

July 1, 2020

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EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: The Story of Fire Saga (CREDIT: John Wilson/Netflix)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, Pierce Brosnan, Dan Stevens, Melissanthi Mahut, Demi Lovato, Graham Norton

Director: David Dobkin

Running Time: 203 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for “Full Nude Sculptures”

Release Date: June 26, 2020 (Netflix)

I have decided to judge the success (or lack thereof) of Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga by whether or not it made me want to watch the actual Eurovision competition.

So, did Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga make me want to watch the actual Eurovision competition?

Yes! Very much so!

And that’s significant because previously my interest was in the “Hmm, maybe” vicinity. So that’s got to be an increase of about 50 percent.

I get the sense that a lot of the real-life Eurovision entrants are like Will Ferrell characters, particularly the sincere variety that includes the Icelandic dreamer Lars Erickssong. Or at least I hope that’s the case! Every time I’ve ever heard people talk about Eurovision, they make it sound like the singers are genuine heart-fueled dreamers. So while watching The Story of Fire Saga, I realized, “Oh right, of course, the appeal is obvious.”

Contests like Eurovision can also be counted upon to reveal up-and-coming talented individuals who make you go, “Why am I only now just hearing about you?” That happened for me in Eurovision the movie in the form of Melissanthi Mahut, who plays Greek hopeful Mita. I predict and pray for big things for her in the coming years.

I give Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga 3 Knives out of 4 Elves.

‘7500’ Sends Joseph Gordon-Levitt Airborne to Fend Off Hijackers

June 17, 2020

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CREDIT: Amazon Studios

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Omid Memar, Murathan Muslu, Aylin Tezel

Director: Patrick Vollrath

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Visceral Approach to Hijacking

Release Date: June 18, 2020 (Amazon Prime Video)

My main reaction to the hijacking thriller 7500 is, “Did it take 18 years to make this movie?” In 2002, a movie about religious extremist terrorists taking over a plane would have been arriving way too soon for American audiences. A few years later, it would have been part of a cinematic reckoning with a post-9/11 world. But now that 7500 is arriving to Amazon Prime viewers in 2020, it feels like it is a relic of at least three eras ago. In a world run roughshod by climate change, a resurrection of populist fascism, and a deadly pandemic, terrorism is hardly the number one fear keeping people up at night that it was in the past couple decades.

Despite all that, a movie does not necessarily have to speak to its times to be an effective white-knuckle pressure-cooker. So when viewed within the context of itself, 7500 is at least admirably efficient and budget-conscious. There are only a handful of characters, and the way things commence, chances are they won’t all still be there by the end. On this flight from Berlin to Paris, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays American co-pilot Tobias, who manages to quickly lock off the cockpit from the terrorists, but things quickly turn to Moral Quandary Territory when the hijackers start taking hostages, including Tobias’ flight attendant girlfriend. Gordon-Levitt’s fundamental decency allows us to trust that he will figure a way out of this crisis, and focusing on his near-solitary struggle makes for a propulsive first act.

But from that point on, 7500 doesn’t have anywhere to go. Literally. The only goal of the moment becomes finding the closest option to make an emergency landing, and accordingly the only tension comes from whether or not Tobias can wait out the terrorists’ demands long enough to avoid any massive tragedy. Eventually the film settles into a sort of odd couple-style buddy picture as the immediate threat of violence dies down and the conflict becomes more existential. Ultimately then, what starts off as a somewhat intriguing setup peters out into a fizzling resolution that isn’t especially compelling with what it’s trying to say.

7500 is Recommended If You Like: Walls between combatants

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Cockpits

I Watched ‘Da 5 Bloods’ and ‘Artemis Fowl’ on the Same Weekend: Here’s What Happened

June 15, 2020

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CREDIT: David Lee/Netflix; Walt Disney Studios/YouTube Screenshot

Da 5 Bloods

Starring: Delroy Lindo, Jonathan Majors, Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Chadwick Boseman, Johnny Trí Nguyễn, Mélanie Thierry, Paul Walter Hauser, Jasper Pääkkönen, Jean Reno, Victoria Ngo

Director: Spike Lee

Running Time: 156 Minutes
Rating: R for Sometimes Shocking, Sometimes Not-So-Shocking Graphic Violence

Release Date: June 12, 2020 (Netflix)

Artemis Fowl

Starring: Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Josh Gad, Colin Farrell, Judi Dench

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: PG for Goofy Fantasy Action

Release Date: June 12, 2020 (Disney+)

I was so worried that I was going to spend so much of my time watching Da 5 Bloods bemoaning its lack of a theatrical release. For one thing, the event status of a Spike Lee joint is unavoidably diminished by an at-home debut, and furthermore, I was concerned that even if I was really feeling it, there would be too many distractions fighting for my attention. Regarding the former, I just had to make peace with that fact. As for the latter, I can’t tell you the last time a Netflix release pulled me in with such a firm grip and refused to let go. A prologue swoops in hard and fast with real-world contextualizing footage from the Vietnam War era: Man goes to the moon! Muhammad Ali refuses to serve! Riots at the DNC! Nguyễn Ngọc Loan is executed! If you look away for even a second, you’re going to miss something essential.

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The Clothes Are Loose and the Genders Are Transient in the Impassioned ‘Aviva’

June 10, 2020

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CREDIT: Strand Releasing/Outsider Pictures

Starring: Zina Zinchenko, Bobbi Jene Smith, Tyler Phillips, Or Schraiber

Director: Boaz Yakin

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: Unrated, But There is Enough Nudity Here to Flirt with an NC-17

Release Date: June 12, 2020 (Virtual Theatrical Release)

If you’re in the mood for a cinematic love story that can be described as “fluid” in every sense of the term, then Aviva sjpi;d be a treat for you. It’s written and directed by Boaz Yakin, who’s probably best known for Remember the Titans, but this is about as far from that family-friendly football flick as possible. The Parisian Aviva (Zina Zinchenko and Or Schraiber) and the New Yorker Eden (Bobbie Jene Smith and Tyler Phillips) find themselves in an intoxicating, tempestuous love affair that spans continents, genders, and various states of dress and undress (emphasis on the undress). To watch this movie, you need to be mature enough to handle how emotions can change a dime, and how the entire nature of reality can be just as capricious.

You might have noticed that I listed a pair of actors for each of the two main characters, and perhaps you’ve caught on that that means there is a male and a female version of both Aviva and Eden. If you only pay half of your attention while watching Aviva, you might not pick up on the consistency of these individuals as they switch genders. If you however remain totally focused, it might still take you a little while to register that fact, but once it clicks, it makes perfect sense. Call it the “Cloud Atlas Effect,” wherein the self doesn’t have to be bound by the laws of physics if you don’t want it to.

Besides the gender fluidity, the other major takeaway of Aviva is its delight in featuring plentiful nudity. I would call it shameless, but that sounds too vulgar for how artful the human body is presented here. Spending naked time in bed, doing naked ballet, or otherwise just hanging out naked is how Aviva spends a good chunk of its time. The whole movie is one long dance, both literally and figuratively. Aviva and Eden put clothes on when they head out to public spaces, but it’s pretty clear even then that they’re letting us see everything about them. If you’re prepared to allow all the body parts to fly right in your face (both the visible and invisible ones), then you may very well be ready to handle Aviva. There’s no other way to approach something so bold.

Aviva is Recommended If You Like: Cloud Atlas, Tasteful and passionate cinematic nudity, Did I mention the nudity?

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Countdowns

Original Streaming Movie Catch-Up: ’13th’ Quickie Review

June 8, 2020

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Every good civil rights movement needs its cool cucumbers that get you jazzed up and grinning from ear to ear. So when I finally sat down to watch 13th, I was on the lookout for folks delivering total zingers while refusing to let The Man get them down. That prayer is answered about a half hour in when Van Jones responds to an asinine comment from Grover Norquist about the infamous 1988 Willie Horton attack ad with a terse “Thanks, Grover.” Going forward, I would recommend that as a meme-ish stock response to anyone who refuses to acknowledge the part that race plays in the institutional failings of American criminal justice.

As galvanizing as that moment is, it is not where Ava DuVernay ultimately leads us with her documentary survey of the Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which abolished slavery only to create a new form of slavery. It is a thorough diagnosis of the problem of how American prisons have perpetuated a de facto form of subjugation for people of color. Knowledge is the first step towards fixing a problem, but 13th ends on a bleak note that suggests that this particular social ill might just be too intractable to ever fully remove. Simply put, it’s in the most profitable interests of certain powers to permanently designate as criminal a significant segment of the population. But maybe there is room for some small hope that there could be a chance for a sliver of change. I watched 13th in 2020, amidst the rage of the most intense civil unrest of my lifetime, and it actually seems like some people in power are now actually considering taking revolutionary measures to address the problem. That undoubtedly has to happen if this country wants to work its way out of all the devil’s bargains it’s made.

Josephine Decker’s ‘Shirley’ Presents Elisabeth Moss as Shirley Jackson in Her Latest Acting Tour de Force

June 3, 2020

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CREDIT: NEON

Starring: Elisabeth Moss, Michael Stuhlbarg, Odessa Young, Logan Lerman

Director: Josephine Decker

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R for Acid Tongues and Sexual Encounters in Multiple Directions

Release Date: June 5, 2020 (Hulu, On Demand, and Drive-Ins)

When writing a movie review (or a review about anything, really), it is wise to focus on the details that you care about most. So with that in mind, after watching Elisabeth Moss play Shirley Jackson in the Josephine Decker-directed biopic Shirley, I must say: I love the shirts! Shirley favors short-sleeve button-downs, including an absolutely tremendous one with a mallard pattern. The film takes place in Vermont, but you wouldn’t know it from all the exposed forearms. In another context, her sartorial choices could easily fit on a painfully ironic hipster or a dad joke-spewing goofball, but when Shirley wears them, they say, “This is who I am: deal with it. Or don’t. Either way, I’ma do me.”

That vibe of defiance is thick in the air of Shirley, in which the writer and her Bennington College professor husband Stanley (Michael Stuhlbarg) “welcome” newlyweds Fred (Logan Lerman) and Rose (Odessa Young) as guests into their home. If that setup has you thinking Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, you’re in the right area. If you’re also thinking there might be a heavy influence of Jackson’s most famous works, that, however, is not precisely accurate. There’s no stoning of anyone like in the short story “The Lottery,” nor are there any hints of the supernatural akin to her oft-adapted novel The Haunting of Hill House (save for the ghosts of marital discord). Despite the lack of one-to-one connections, the Jackson home is plenty scary, which Rose and Fred soon discover as they get caught up in a swirling psychosexual adventure.

When it comes to successful visionary movies, they let audiences in on a way of feeling that they fundamentally just get in their psyches (or souls, or hearts, or whatever) without necessarily having to understand the logic of it all. And that’s Shirley for me (and perhaps for some of you as well). I didn’t quite feel that way with Decker’s last film, Madeline’s Madeline, which struck me as a bit too foreign (at least on first viewing) to truly attach to it. But with Shirley, I have the key to open its lock for the cinematic language to feel just right. The psychology of why Stanley feels compelled to torture Fred over his dissertation or why Shirley and a very pregnant Rose find themselves frolicking by the bathtub is not spelled out in concrete terms. Travelling into this abode is like a trip through Hades. It’s pretty exhilarating, at least if you know you’re going to come out eventually. But for those stuck there, it’s a little more exhausting, and my mind will be stuck on them for a while.

Shirley is Recommended If You Like: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Making sarcastic comments at a party, Patterned Short-Sleeve Button-Downs

Grade: 4 out of 5 Typewriters

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