The Collected Madness of Alex Trebek, Volumes 1-8

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Alex Trebek is starting to lose it, and as a public service, I will be posting all the evidence of his insanity.

hold the cheese & pepperoni

1. Channing Tatum takes vodka, cranberry juice, 400 gallons of blood, & a lime wedge; add this fart fruit juice to make it a Seabreeze

2. Steve Carell is a modern day Hitler romantically linked to this kiddie tractor pull. Lovely my dear yet oh so deadly

3. Hey Mr., it’s a small circular breed of dog that stores bile in a Roman Catholic Church

4. This alcoholic beverage is made from the bloodiest Hanukkah oil, but you had to spit with the wind atop a frozen wonder girl

5. Despite a broken leg, Tobey Maguire nailed this Romanian girl with the over 300 year old reticulated slitherer

6. It’s annoying when you _____ this female author’s _____; but helpful when _____ of the _____machines use _____ to make slime… go ahead, make my day

7. This ugly guy, Will Smith (not the black one) can sometimes track down one of these Irish fairies, in this type of marriage

8. J. Lo is slang for someone who communicates by extrasensory means with other Japanese yeast exports

9. Henry Kissinger is also known as this toothy-grinned fruit; searching for this fabled city of horse tornados

10. Adam Levine’s murder of his pregnant, marsh-dwelling girlfriend helps drains this hot ‘n juicy lizard

11. The Portuguese call it goo—goooooooooal a hairstyle using live hedgehogs to reduce the risk of birth defects of the brain and spinal fungus

12. Bjork’s cluelessness about people with diabetes forced this Islamic jihadist rodent to crush her to death with cheese… & had to apologize

13. This body part that sometimes stings when you yank it off, is named it for its odor… and eat it she does

14. Bill Murray & Matt Damon reproduce asexually by means of this body part, with a longer shaft to stabilize your fish hook

15. Lady GaGa’s hogchoker cuts off the ear of a man named Orange Juice, while her arms reach down to grasp the Thunderball

16. Steven Tyler is said to frequent the children’s dungeon, using an orangutan named Zubeneljenubi to disinfect Communist mattresses

17. Ding dong! Shakespeare’s unicorn gets house visits from a naked baby splayed on the hood of a Ferrari calling for brotherhood between Christians & Hitler

18. Israel’s first openly-gay golden retriever named Batman, can swim 45 MPH like a drunk Czech immigrant

19. Oh, noooo…! Canned pineapple chunks can be found in the middle part of Madonna’s underwear because she carried this deadly disease

20. In Catholicism, Jesus is a receptacle for holding pig’s feet for a muscular, tan, bald guy whose names means liquefied meat

21. Oddly, 3 inches wide & 18 inches long, Wolf Blitzer’s banana dancer sparks bushfires that ravage millions of spooky women

22. Horses wear panties for the hearing impaired to communicate with those who don’t understand musical chicken farmers like 50 Cent or Eminem

23. Yum! Starbucks adds shoe polish, blood & phlegm to make insect-infested cupcakes called “Pig Stomach” because it’s environmentally friendly

24. Tom Hanks recently used cocaine to get the shampoo out of the severed head of this newborn child. Oh my God I’m totally wired

25. Joy to the world! Kangaroos & gorillas of German-Jewish descent, snowmobile across pickled sushi for 36 hours to get to this Champagne & dirt island

26. David Hasselhoff traded his half of this German sausage for a band of pear-shaped, alcoholic women, which is weird, because he’s one himself

27. Bum roll! Mel Gibson gets slightly wet, while working on Gary Busey’s tush. “Ugh!” “Down the rabbit-hole…” “Plop plop”

28. Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, Shiddy… whatever. He was born with a lumpy body covered with warts

29. Ben Franklin used a genetically altered, gluten-free virgin to prove that sexism weighs as much as a duck

30. Yay! A body-covering garment having a veiled opening for the uterus is worn by Muslim dykes to play Batman on the big screen. Hope you kids enjoy that

31. In an interview with Oprah, Nicolas Cage claimed to have the heart of a mythical warrior; extracting eagle tears to cure writer’s cramp in monkeys & parrots

32. Oh myyy! Miley Cyrus blew 240,000 marsupials by using a vacuum pump in a trailer park, perhaps contributing to her violent hatred of muskrats & mankind

33. If you accidentally super glued your thighs, try rubbing with leftover meat to make Brazilian sandwiches… Uhg! I’ll take a ham sandwich

34. Hold the cheese & pepperoni! George W. Bush milked the Backstreet Boys at his bar mitzvah. It’s a sexy Hebrew hello

35. Hang on tight, Bill O’Reilly extracts fluids from the cobra. Ugh! Just spit it out! Bum badum bum bumbumbum

36. Jesus has a fragrance line called orgiastic chicken wings, which consists of milk, bleach, lemon juice & garlic

37. If you’re pulled over, one thing the officer will ask for is sex with the son of a German wizard because he’d kind of like to know who owns the sac that reduces bone friction

Jmunney’s Fall 2013 TV Viewing Schedule

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If you need to consult me on television matters, then take a look at this handy guide to the shows that I plan on watching regularly this season.  New shows (and NTSF:SD:SUV::) are in ALL CAPS, shows that I will sample but might not stick with are in (parentheses), and shows that I watched last season but I’m not sure I want to continue watching are *asterisked.*  New shows may be added if they prove deserving.

SUNDAY
The Simpsons
Bob’s Burger’s
The Walking Dead
Family Guy
American Dad!
MASTERS OF SEX
HELLO LADIES

MONDAY-THURSDAY
Conan

MONDAY-FRIDAY
Jeopardy!

MONDAY
How I Met Your Mother
ALMOST HUMAN
THE BLACKLIST

TUESDAY
MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
(THE ORIGINALS)
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
New Girl
*The Mindy Project*
(TROPHY WIFE)
Awkward.

WEDNESDAY
Arrow
The Middle
Modern Family
(SUPER FUN NIGHT)
American Horror Story: Coven
Key & Peele
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The League
The Chris Gethard Show

THURSDAY
The Vampire Diaries
Parks and Recreation
The Big Bang Theory
*Glee*
(THE MICHAEL J. FOX SHOW)
Parenthood
Childrens’ Hospital
NTSF:SD:SUV::

FRIDAY
Raising Hope
The Neighbors
Comedy Bang! Bang!

SATURDAY
VH1 Top 20 Countdown
Axe Cop
High School USA!
Saturday Night Live

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 9/21/13

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Don’t you understand?! We REALLY can’t stop!

Original Version
1. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
2. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
3 Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding – “I Need Your Love”
4. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
5. Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – “Everything Has Changed”
6. Katy Perry – “Roar”
7. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
8. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
9. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
10. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
11. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
12. Lorde – “Royals”
13. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
14. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
15. Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
16. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
17. Justin Timberlake – “Take Back the Night”
18. Paramore – “Still Into You”
19. P!nk ft. Lily Allen – “True Love”
20. Gavin DeGraw – “Best I Ever Had”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Royals
5. I Need Your Love
6. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
7. Same Love
8. Roar
9. Applause
10. Safe and Sound
11. Take Back the Night
12. Still Into You
13. Let Her Go
14. Cups
15. Treasure
16. Love Somebody
17. True Love
18. Counting Stars
19. Best I Ever Had
20. Everything Has Changed

2013 East/West Bowl Lineups

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Let’s see if they can put last year’s spectacle to shame:

EAST
Coznesster Smiff, Rutgers University
Elipses Corter, University of Alabama
Nyquillus Dillwad, LSU
Bismo Funyuns, Florida State University
DeCatholac Mango, Georgia Tech University
Mergatroid Skittle, University of Louisville
Quiznatodd Bidness, University of Tennessee
D’Pez Poopsie, Ole Miss
Quackadilly Blip, Auburn University
Goolius Boozler, The U
Bisquiteen Trisket, University of Michigan
Fartrell Cluggins, University of Arkansas
Blyrone Blashinton, Syracuse
Cartoons Plural, Virginia Tech
Jammie Jammie-Jammie, The Ohio State University
Fudge

WEST
Equine Ducklings, Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis
DaHistorious LaMystorius, Utah State University
Ewokoniad Sigourneth Juniorstein, Oklahoma State University
Eqqsquizitine Buble-Schwinslow, University of Nebraska
Huka’Lakanaka Hakanakaheekalucka’Hukahakafaka, University of Hawaii
King Prince Chambermaid, Baylor University
LaDennifer JaDaniston, University of Colorado
Ladadadaladadadadada Dala-Dadaladaladalada, University of Arizona
Harvard University, Devry University
— — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. ., Army Navy Surplus Store
Wing Dings*, Online Classes
Firstname Lastname, College University
God, Homeschool
Squeeeeeeeeeeps, Santa Monica College
Benedict Cumberbatch, Oxford University
A.A. Ron Balakay, Morehouse College

*-If anyone knows how to use Wingdings on WordPress, let me know!

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 9/17/23

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I know someone named “Roar(e),” but he spells it with an “e.”

Original Version
1. Katy Perry – “Roar”
2. Avicii – “Wake Me Up”
3. Lorde – “Royals”
4. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
5. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
6. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
7. One Direction – “Best Song Ever”
8. Imagine Dragons – “Radioactive”
9. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
10. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
11. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
12. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
13. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
14. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
15. Paramore – “Still Into You”
16. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
17. Big Sean ft. Lil’ Wayne and Jhené Aiko – “Beware”
18. Phillip Phillips – “Gone Gone Gone”
19. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
20. Justin Timberlake – “Take Back the Night”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Radioactive
5. Royals
6. Blurred Lines
7. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
8. Same Love
9. Roar
10. Applause
11. Safe and Sound
12. Take Back the Night
13. Still Into You
14. Cups
15. Treasure
16. Love Somebody
17. Beware
18. Counting Stars
19. Best Song Ever
20. Gone Gone Gone

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 9/14/13

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Generic does not equal inauthentic.

Original Version
1. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
2. Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding – “I Need Your Love”
3. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
4. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
5. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
6. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
7. Justin Timberlake – “Take Back the Night”
8. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
9. Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – “Everything Has Changed”
10. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
11. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
12. P!nk ft. Lily Allen – “True Love”
13. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
14. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
15. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
16. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
17. Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
18. Lorde – “Royals”
19. Paramore – “Still Into You”
20. Katy Perry – “Roar”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Royals
5. I Need Your Love
6. Blurred Lines
7. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
8. Same Love
9. Roar
10. Applause
11. Safe and Sound
12. Take Back the Night
13. Still Into You
14. Let Her Go
15. Cups
16. Treasure
17. Love Somebody
18. True Love
19. Counting Stars
20. Everything Has Changed

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 9/10/13

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You win this round, Mother F☠:(ing Avril Lavigne.

Original Version
1. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
2. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
3. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
4. Avicii – “Wake Me Up”
5. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
6. Lorde – “Royals”
7. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
8. Imagine Dragons – “Radioactive”
9. One Direction – “Best Song Ever”
10. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
11. Justin Timberlake – “Take Back the Night”
12. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
13. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
14. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
15. Avril Lavigne – “Rock N Roll”
16. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
17. Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding – “I Need Your Love”
18. Phillip Phillips – “Gone Gone Gone”
19. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
20. Paramore – “Still Into You”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Radioactive
5. Royals
6. I Need Your Love
7. Blurred Lines
8. Safe and Sound
9. Same Love
10. Applause
11. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
12. Take Back the Night
13. Still Into You
14. Cups
15. Treasure
16. Rock N Roll
17. Love Somebody
18. Counting Stars
19. Best Song Ever
20. Gone Gone Gone

VH1 Top 20 Countdown

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There we go, now we got it.

Original Version
1. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
2. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
3. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
4. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
5. Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding – “I Need Your Love”
6. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
7. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
8. Justin Timberlake – “Take Back the Night”
9. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
10. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
11. P!nk ft. Lily Allen – “True Love”
12. Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – “Everything Has Changed”
13. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
14. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
15. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
16. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
17. Paramore – “Still Into You”
18. Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
19. Imagine Dragons – “Radioactive”
20. Lorde – “Royals”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Radioactive
5. Royals
6. I Need Your Love
7. Blurred Lines
8. Same Love
9. safe and Sound
10. Applause
11. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
12. Take Back the Night
13. Still Into You
14. Let Her Go
15. Cups
16. Treasure
17. Love Somebody
18. True Love
19. Counting Stars
20. Everything Has Changed

An Analysis of the Characters of Community According to the Personality Types of Dr. Helen Fisher

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I recently came across the theories of Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who believes that there are four broad personality styles and that each of these styles corresponds to a particular organic chemical. Fisher has primarily applied this research to romantic love, or interpersonal attraction more generally. She has worked as the scientific adviser to Chemistry.com, for which she developed a personality test to determine individuals’ unique mix of these personality styles. Dr. Fisher emphasizes that everyone has some elements of each style, but that individuals’ personalities are primarily determined by the two styles (the primary and the secondary) that they display more of than the others. I am somewhat wary of any personality theory that attempts to explain everyone and everything, but I find myself attracted to Dr. Fisher’s research because it does not purport to fully explain individuals and it allows for the fact that people are a mix of personality types, even if they have one type that is most prevalent. After reading her book Why Him? Why Her? Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type, I have found myself analyzing everyone I know according to Fisher’s personality styles.  So, I thought, why not do an analysis of the characters of Community, one of my favorite TV shows of all time?

Here are the four personality styles and the chemicals that they correspond to (all quotes are from Fisher, Dr. Helen, Why Him? Why Her? Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type, Holt Paperbacks: 2009):

EXPLORER (Corresponding Chemical: Dopamine) – “Explorers express a constellation of related traits. They are intensely curious and unusually creative. They are restless, energetic and spontaneous, often impulsive. They are willing to risk a great deal to pursue their many interests, and they get bored easily when not absorbed in something that intrigues them. They tend to be optimistic, irreverent and autonomous. Explorers are adaptable; they can play many different roles. Most are liberal in their political views, flexible in their personal lives and generous with their money, time and ideas. And Explorers crave novelty.” (Pgs. 44-45) Explorers tend to be attracted to other Explorers.

BUILDER (Corresponding Chemical: Serotonin) – “Builders tend to be loyal and conscientious; duty, respectability and proper moral conduct are particularly important to them.  Builders are also conventional; they admire and follow social norms and customs.  They respect authority, follow rules and enjoy making plans and keeping schedules.  They think concretely; Builders are often literal, detail-oriented and orderly, as well as cautious but not fearful.  They tend to be social.  And Builders are generally superb at managing people – at work, in the family and in their various social circles.” (Pg. 65) Builders tend to be attracted to other Builders.

DIRECTOR (Corresponding Chemical: Testosterone) – “These men and women speak their mind.  They are direct, tough-minded and decisive.  Yet before they make a decision, they examine their choices thoroughly and unemotionally.  Directors admire self-control; they are analytical, skeptical and exacting.  Directors are independent, too.  And they must achieve.  Indeed, they enjoy competing to get to the top.  Therefore, many are pragmatic, focused and daring.  Directors can also be inventive, as well as mechanically or mathematically skilled.  Oddly, many are musical, particularly adept at understanding the structure of music.  Others are highly skilled at spatial games, from football to chess.  And many Directors have a heroic side; they are the men and women who dash into a burning building to save a stranger.” (Pg. 84) Directors tend to be attracted to Negotiators.

NEGOTIATOR (Corresponding Chemical: Estrogen) – “[Negotiators are] imaginative and theoretical.  [They are] also unassuming, agreeable, and intuitive.  [They feel] deep compassion for … family and friends, and for the less fortunate …  [They are] talented at handling people, too, as well as emotionally expressive; [they share their] feelings.  [They are] good with words … [Negotiators see] the big picture: [thinking] contextually, holistically, synthetically.” (Pg. 104) Negotiators tend to be attracted to Directors.

So if you have ever heard that opposites attract but also that like attracts like and wondered which one it is, well, when it comes to Dr. Fisher’s personality styles, the answer is both – it just depends on who you are talking about.  If it is Directors and Negotiators, then opposites tend to attract; with Explorers and Builders, like tends to attract like.

So, finally let’s consider the characters of Community and see what Dr. Fisher’s research can tell us about the personalities and relationships of our favorite Greendale Human Beings:

Jeff – NEGOTIATOR/Director
jefftextingxmas
Jeff Winger is a leader who can rouse a small army (a Director quality), but what is his default mode?  Silent and brooding and/or composing text messages.  That is to say, he is most likely to be found lost in thought or figuring out the perfect way to put his words together – qualities typical of the Negotiator.  Jeff’s once and future career as a trial lawyer is an ideal Negotiator profession, as it requires strong oratorical skills.  A way with words can be used for ambition (and Jeff does use it that way to a degree, corresponding with his secondary Director style), but most Winger speeches are utilized to make people feel better and find a solution that works for everyone – a “for the greater good” strategy typical of Negotiators.  Even when Jeff’s speeches are used for bullshit purposes, they are made up of meaningful, useful truths – a pattern that was established right from the pilot (“you are all better than you think you are,” “I hereby pronounce you a community”).  Jeff may be ambitious like a Director (he has a reservation for one at Morty’s Steakhouse), but his more prominent Negotiator qualities (feeling a connection to everyone [it’s called chemistry – he has it with everybody]) has led to friendship sticking itself in the path of his ambitions.

Annie – DIRECTOR/Negotiator
Annie
Annie is the most direct and the most obviously ambitious of the group – classic Director.  She also tends to be the most emotional, and emotion is typically associated with the Negotiator – but it is not so much that Negotiators are more emotional as much as they are more emotionally nuanced.  Annie can have nuanced reactions to emotionally heightened situations, but she is more likely to scream, or scream and run through a glass door.  Annie’s secondary Negotiator side is more noticeable in her hopeless romanticism.  You may think that that romantic quality is prominent enough to make Negotiator her primary style, but these styles are determined by ratios within the individual as opposed to compared to others.  I.e., Annie might be more of a Negotiator than a lot of other people, but she is more of a Director than a Negotiator.  You always know where you stand with Annie, and she demands the same of everyone else, a bluntness that not everyone is always able to reciprocate, as when Jeff can’t give her a straight answer when she demands, “Either you want me or you don’t.  What’s it gonna be?”  Interestingly enough, this difference is actually what has attracted Annie and Jeff to each other.  She admires his coolness, he admires her drive, and they bring out those qualities in each other – that’s basically the premise of the debate prep scene in “Debate 109.”

Abed – DIRECTOR/Negotiator
danny-pudi-community-abed-600
It has been speculated, though never confirmed, that Abed is somewhere on the autism spectrum, likely on the Asperger’s end.  Whether or not he is diagnosable, he does display several traits of spectrum, traits that are also related to being a Director.  He has a singular way of living that he does not budge from.  He filters everything through the lens of movie and TV, which is for him a lot easier to understand than the messiness of real people, as he makes clear when he zings Jeff in “Anthropology 101.”  But despite his disadvantages, he has a knack for making genuine connections with people, thus Negotiator is his secondary style.  He may see his life as a movie or TV show, but he always focuses on the characters.  He made his birthday an homage to a movie that was about two guys having a conversation, for crying out loud!  How much more deeply emotionally connective can you get?!  Abed and Annie, as  DIRECTOR/Negotiator buddies,  have had some attraction and a sweet friendship, but if stuck together for too long, they tend to drive each other crazy, as in “Virtual Systems Analysis.”  Perhaps unsurprisingly then, Abed and Annie have a similar connection with Jeff.  Abed and Jeff have had some of the most profound conversations of any pair of the group, as seen most strikingly in “Contemporary American Poultry” and “Critical Film Studies.”

Britta – EXPLORER/Negotiator
Britta-3-britta-perry-30280718-630-355
“That woman is a hurricane.”  Britta is the prototypical Explorer, impulsive enough to drop out of high school because she thought it would impress Radiohead.  She is exceedingly liberal.  This liberalness extends to her finances, as made clear in “Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking.”  But that is not to say she is foolish, just perhaps a little excessively generous, unsurprising as Explorers tend to be champions of a host of social causes.  With Britta, the range of her activism is wide to the point of parody.  She is her own harshest critic when it comes to how successful an activist she is, but perhaps it is just that her Explorer side is tempered by her secondary style of the Negotiator.  “Underneath all that clown makeup, she’s a good kid.”  Despite often rubbing people the wrong way, she is ultimately a people pleaser.

Troy – NEGOTIATOR/Director
troybarnes
Troy Barnes is a leader, but a reluctant one.  He was destined to be the repairman that repairs man, but he preferred to put off adulthood a little while longer and watch TV with his friends.  In “Heroic Origins,” we saw him as the football captain that everyone wanted to hang around, but it was clear on his face that such was not his natural state.  Troy’s default mode is having fun, and making sure everyone else is having fun, but if need be, he can take charge and spring into action when called upon, as in “Epidemiology,” “For a Few Paintballs More,” or even “Cooperative Calligraphy.”  There was a bit of a rivalry brewing between Troy and Jeff in Seasons 2 and 3, and perhaps that is because they are actually just so similar, and fit for the same roles.  Although he does not get as many chances to show it, Troy can be as strong an orator as the other Negotiator in the group, with his pep talk to Annie in “Mixology Certification” more powerful than many a Winger speech.

Shirley – BUILDER/Negotiator
shirleychristmas
As the most outwardly religious and accordingly the one most concerned about following rules, Shirley is the Builder of the group.  This goes along with her concern for public appearances and social standing, as when she attempts to hide her alcoholic past in “Mixology Certification” or when she complains that everyone is “judging her like Judy” when she reveals her secret in “Intro to Felt Surrogacy.”  Her Builder qualities almost take her to the point of proselytizing, but they are thankfully tempered by her Negotiator qualities.  It may take a bit of effort, but she is willing to accept everyone’s differences when she realizes that insisting on the morally right path is not necessarily the best idea if not everyone agrees what that right path is.  This is seen most poignantly in “Comparative Religion” when she stops insisting on the traditions of Christmas and decides that she just needs to have Jeff’s back in his struggle with Mike the bully and most hilariously in “Studies in Modern Movement” when she and Britta have another religion vs. atheism fight but ultimately find a common enemy.  And the value of Shirley’s morals should not be discounted, as they can be used to bring her friends back to reality, as when she keeps Jeff from going off the rails in his attempt to understand Blade in “Origins of Vampire Mythology.”

Pierce – EXPLORER/Director
piercemancandy
Pierce represents the restless spirit and curiosity of the Explorer, in his decades as a student at Greendale.  He could have just lived off his money and done nothing, but instead he chose a path that most in his socioeconomic status would have never considered.  He is gregarious and everyone’s friend, or at least he tries to be.  He has a taste for the avant-garde and the risqué (though he doesn’t really understand them).  I am not entirely sure about Pierce’s secondary personality style.  I’m leaning towards Director, as he fancies himself a leader of men, with a “look at me now, Dad” complex.  But he occasionally breaks out a nugget of wisdom, displaying the wordsmith sytlings of the Negotiator (“Home Economics,” “Beginner Pottery,” “Herstory of Dance,” “Economics of Marine Biology”).

Dean – EXPLORER/Builder
Dean_Pelton_rootbeer_and_Let's
“This better not awaken anything in me,” Dean Craig Pelton says about a video of a person in a dalmatian costume, in only the tenth episode ever of Community.  But it is clear by his delivery that he would be perfectly happy if something were to be awakaned.  And by season’s end – if not sooner – it does.  The Dean’s Explorer characteristics are most obvious in his enthusiastic array of costume choices and his expressive, unique sexuality.  Judging by his crush on Jeffrey, one could assume that he is gay, but he is a prime example of a person whose sexuality is not so easily labeled (after all, he wore a wedding ring in the pilot, although that may just have been an abandoned characteristic).  Vice Dean Laybourne came up with a potential solution to the label problem by coining the much more inclusive term “pansexual imp.”  The Dean has a unique mix of primary and secondary styles, as Builders tends to be incompatible with Explorers.  But while he may flout tradition in his personal life, he is very concerned about when it comes to running Greendale.  He is conscientious about being in good standing with the Greater Greendale Community, always certain to know where his school stands in its rivalry with City College.  This thorough love goes to its logical absurd conclusion in “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux,” but the nature of the Dean’s breakdown in that episode is all Explorer.

Chang – DIRECTOR/Explorer
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Ben Chang is a leader, and he is going to be a leader whether or not anyone else realizes it.  As a power-drunk Spanish teacher, or a power-hungry security guard, or an insurgent ruler of Greendale, or a mole for City College, Chang is always in control, or at least, always trying to be.  He is most like a Director in that he always does things his way, and if you doubt the truth of that statement, he will make it clear to you directly and straightforwardly.  Like an Explorer, the things he does his way are completely insane – forcing his students to dress in ladies’ pantsuits, painting his skin for an elf costume for Dungeons & Dragons when nobody asked him to, playing a keytar solo as introduction to a bomb explosion, Changnesia can perhaps be generously described as performance art.  As Chang demonstrates, a DIRECTOR/Explorer mix can be quite explosive, as the Explorer side can be bizarre and off-putting, and the Director side will make no excuses for it.

Any thoughts or re-evaluations regarding my analysis?  Any analyses regarding any secondary or tertiary characters at Greendale?

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 9/3/13

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Summer’s over?

Original Version
1. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
2. Avicii – “Wake Me Up”
3. Lady GaGa – “Applause”
4. Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
5. Lorde – “Royals”
6. Imagine Dragons – “Radioactive”
7. Capital Cities – “Safe and Sound”
8. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert – “Same Love”
9. Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
10. Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais – “Summertime Sadness (Remix)”
11. One Direction – “Best Song Ever”
12. Zedd ft. Foxes – “Clarity”
13. Bruno Mars – “Treasure”
14. Paramore – “Still Into You”
15. Phillip Phillips – “Gone Gone Gone”
16. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
17. Maroon 5 – “Love Somebody”
18. Hunter Hayes – “I Want Crazy”
19. Big Sean ft. Lil’ Wayne and Jhené Aiko – “Beware”
20. Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding – “I Need Your Love”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Clarity
2. We Can’t Stop
3. Wake Me Up
4. Radioactive
5. Royals
6. I Need Your Love
7. Blurred Lines
8. Same Love
9. Safe and Sound
10. Applause
11. Summertime Sadness (Remix)
12. Still Into You
13. Cups
14. Treasure
15. Love Somebody
16. Beware
17. Counting Stars
18. Best Song Ever
19. Gone Gone Gone
20. I Want Crazy

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