Starring: Benicio del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rupert Friend, Hope Davis, Bill Murray, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Willem Dafoe, F. Murray Abraham
Director: Wes Anderson
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Gunshots, Plane Crashes, and Mid-century Tobacco
Release Date: May 30, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: It’s 1950, and businessman Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is at an impasse. He’s trying to complete a major infrastructure project, but he finds himself the victim of several assassination attempts and a consortium of rival tycoons trying to box him out from all of his moneymaking endeavors. Sensing that his demise may be imminent, he summons his nun-in-training daughter Liesl (Mia Threapleton) from the convent to inform her that he’s making her his sole heir. Then the two of them journey off along with his sons’ tutor Bjørn (Michael Cera) to close the funding gap for his project and maybe also discover who killed Liesl’s mother years ago.
What Made an Impression?: Is Redemption Possible?: Zsa-zsa is introduced as a ruthless capitalist who pretty much deserves to be assassinated. He might have even also killed Liesl’s mom! But does this rapscallion have the capacity for change? I must say, it’s hard not to notice some softening. Maybe it’s the visions of pearly gates, maybe it’s Liesl’s pious but nonjudgmental influence, but somehow someway he’s inching towards respectability. By the end, there are still plenty of grievous missteps on his ledger that he must accept responsibility for, but I mostly bought the redemption. They Shoot, They Score!: My favorite scene in The Phoenician Scheme features Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston as a pair of brothers playing basketball against Zsa-zsa and Riz Ahmed’s prince character. They call it 2-on-2, first-to-5, but it’s really a round of H-O-R-S-E. But who cares about technicalities when H&C relish tossing the rock this much? They might be AARP-eligible, but they’re looking more athletic than they ever have. Silly Voices and Such: I’m not a super-fan of Wes Anderson, but I enjoy him well enough to consistently appreciate his fastidious eye for detail and ability to ground over-the-top fashion and quirky architecture. That works best in this feature in terms of the ridiculous accents that are occasionally revealed as put-ons for outlandishly simple disguises.* I chuckled heartily. (*Richard Ayoade, in contrast, deploys what I believe is his adorably natural voice as a communist revolutionary.) A Star Takes Her Vows: Del Toro may be Number 1 on the call sheet, but I suspect that Threapleton will be enjoying the majority of the buzz. She’s the daughter of Kate Winslet and Jim Threapleton, so gird yourself if you have an aversion to nepo babies. But regardless of her heritage, she sets herself apart as a unique screen presence as she pulls off the neat trick of making us fall in love with a bride of Christ. Or maybe that’s actually the easiest task in the world, because of the taboo aspect of it all. Either way, she nails it.
The Phoenician Scheme is Recommended If You: Have an Endless Wes Andersonian Appetite, Forever and Ever, Amen
Oh wow, did you notice that Saturday Night Live Season 50 recently ended? Whenever that happens, I like to reflect upon the goings-on at Studio 8H from the past several months. What sketches stuck with me the most? What Weekend Update lunatics are most worthy of discussion? Was the music any good?
So here’s how that’s going to go down this time: First I’m going to consult The SNL Archives and my own weekly reviews, and maybe re-watch a few sketches if I have time. Then I’m going to report to you, dear readers, what made the most lasting impressions on me. And please let me know how SNL50 made you feel as well! (And keep your eye on this space in the months to come in case I realize later that there was something that I forgot to mention.)
TV
–Big Mouth Season 8 (May 23 on Netflix) – Final Season Alert! (I’m still I-don’t-know-how-many seasons behind.)
–Pee-Wee as Himself (Premieres May 23 on HBO) – Two-part docuseries about a funny guy.
–Rick and Morty Season 8 Premiere (May 25 on Adult Swim)
Music
-Snoop Dogg, Iz It a Crime? – This came out last week.
-Sparks, MAD!
-Taj Mahal and Keb’ Mo’, Room on the Porch
Sports -French Open (May 25-June 8 on TNT, truTV, and Max)
-U.S. Women’s Open (May 29-June 1 on USA, NBC, and Peacock)
Don’t look down? (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot; Vertical/Screenshot)
Fight or Flight
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Charithra Chandan, Katee Sackhoff, Julian Kostov, Marko Zaror, JuJu Chan Szeto, Danny Ashok, Hughie O’Donnell
Director: James Madigan
Running Time: 97 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)
Final Destination Bloodlines
Starring: Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Brec Bassinger, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Anna Lore, Gabrielle Rose, Tinpo Lee, April Telek, Alex Zahara, Max Lloyd-Jones, Tony Todd
Directors: Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein
Running Time: 110 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: May 16, 2025 (Theaters)
One day not too long ago, I saw the new movie Fight or Flight in a theater. Then the very next day, I saw another new film, Final Destination Bloodlines, also in a movie theater! So that’s two movies in two days about potential disasters and/or very real disasters. FoF mostly takes place on a plane, while the first FD is famous for its exploding plane. Here are a couple of quick lists of what I liked most about both of them:
Jimmy Kimmel Live! celebrated Take Your Kids to Work Day by having some of the writers’ kids craft monologue jokes. I especially liked the part when four-year-old Hannah said, “Unh-unh!”
What is the 50th best things about these people? (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)
Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.
Congratulations to all those 50s out there! Yes, the rumors are true, Saturday Night Live has now fully and undeniably completed its 50th season. In the course of doing so, it featured a finale guest lineup of 7-time host Scarlett Johansson and three-time musical guest Bad Bunny. So in honor of ScarJo, I’ll be reviewing each sketch and segment by metrics of seven. So for example, I might convey a grade of “3 out of 5 Seven Deadly Sins.”
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Final Destination Bloodlines (Theaters)
–Hurry Up Tomorrow (Theaters) – Worth it for the Jenna Ortega dancing.
Music
-Chuck D, Chuck D Presents Enemy Radio: Radio Armageddon
-Damiano David, FUNNY little FEARS
-Men I Trust, Equus Asinus and Equus Caballus – These came out March 19 and May 6, respectively, but somehow I missed them then.
-MØ, Plæygirl
-tUnE-yArDs, Better Dreaming
Starring: Abel Tesfaye, Jenna Ortega, Barry Keoghan, Riley Keough
Director: Trey Edward Shults
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: R for Some Language, a Few Drugs, and a Scuffle
Release Date: May 16, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: In the woozy fantasia Hurry Up Tomorrow, Abel Tesfaye aka The Weeknd plays an alternate version of himself who’s really going through some stuff right now. His girlfriend has just left him, but he can’t focus on that right now, because he’s in the midst of a tour and his manager (Barry Keoghan) keeps hyping him up to go out and crush it. But what he really needs to do right now is slow down and rest his aching vocal cords. Into this psychological powder keg waltzes an unstable fan named Anima (Jenna Ortega) who’s introduced while burning down a house in the middle of nowhere. She and Abel hit it off, only to then dive headlong into a nightmare.
What Made an Impression?: To Be So Vain: When was the last time we were blessed to witness a vanity project as shameless as this one? I didn’t realize that The Weeknd even had the cachet to get a major theatrical release like this greenlit. (Although I suppose he did play the Super Bowl Halftime Show a few years ago.) Anyway, I’m not complaining. All artists should be given the space to let their creative ids run loose (even if the results are profoundly messy), just so long as nobody gets hurt. Will You Let Us In?: Although I suppose the case could be made that some people could in fact get hurt by suffering through the experience of watching this movie. I wouldn’t go that far, but it would’ve been nice if it had been a little esoteric. I’m enough of a fan of The Weeknd that I’ve listened to all of his albums and sung him at karaoke once or twice, but not so big a stan that I’m attending concerts or scrubbing the lyrics for Easter eggs or whatever. Maybe his most ardent obsessives will find plenty to vibe with in Hurry Up Tomorrow. I however am perfectly okay with keeping all that at arm’s length. The Weeknd’s headspace is just too dang melancholic. Letting a Little Bit Loose:Hurry Up Tomorrow isn’t too bad if you just treat it as a series of dreamy images washing over you and ignore whatever semblance of a plot there is. But within the chaos, there is one genuinely great scene in which Anima has Abel tied up Misery-style as she forces him to listen to her critical analyses of some of his recent songs. And yes, we do get a few new signature Jenna Ortega Dance Moves out of the bargain. It’s kinda stupid, but it breaks the tension nicely.
Hurry Up Tomorrow is Recommended If You Like: Being held hostage
Starring: Katie Douglas, Aaron Abrams, Carson MacCormac, Kevin Durand, Will Sasso, Vincent Muller, Cassandra Potenza, Verity Marks, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin, Daina Leitold, Jean-Jacques Javier, Bradley Sawatzky, Dylan McEwan, Kaitlyn Bacon, Samantha Hutchings
Director: Eli Craig
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)
Now that I’ve watched Clown in a Cornfield, it’s time to answer the question: would I like to live in a town filled with Frendos? And the answer is: absolutely!
Perhaps that response surprises you, because you never thought that I had a death wish. And you’d be right in that regard. Although perhaps you’ve reasoned that I’ve surmised I would be safe from the massacre since I’m no longer a doofus high schooler. This is all mighty fine deduction, but here’s the thing: I never said I wanted to live among murderous Frendos.
So yeah, as long as we can remove the impalings and the decapitations, then Kettle Springs, Missouri looks like a perfectly idyllic location to inhale some burgers and milkshakes at the local diner and go for a parade. (I also liked it when Mandy’s dad from Georgie & Mandy showed up.)
Grade: 3 Viral Videos out of ⅕ of a Tragic Mom Backstory
The Impossible Man (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Skydance)
Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Esai Morales, Pom Klementieff, Henry Czerny, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Nick Offerman, Hannah Waddingham, Tramell Tillman, Angela Bassett, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis, Charles Parnell, Mark Gatiss, Rolf Saxon, Lucy Tulugarjuk
Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Running Time: 169 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Near-Death Experiences
Release Date: May 23, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: It’s all come down to this. All those previous impossible missions that Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) pulled off over the decades? We thought they were more or less self-contained. But instead, it turns out that they were all part of a vast global conspiracy to sow widespread confusion and establish a new world order. This is set to be established by an artificial intelligence entity known as, in fact, “The Entity.” It is apparently going to accomplish this by infecting every connected device on the planet and then – as far as I can tell – launching every nuclear weapon and also just generally making everyone distrustful of everyone else. Some guy named Gabriel (Esai Morales) is trying to usher The Entity along to its destiny, while Ethan and his IMF crew attempt to do the opposite with their precision timing and the latest batch of stakes-raising, death-defying stunts.
What Made an Impression?: They’ve Got So Much to Say:The Final Reckoning definitely gives off end-of-the-series vibes, although I’m sure Cruise and the rest of the creative team are open to future installments for as long as he remains ageless. In the meantime, though, this chapter definitely closes the book on something. And it’s a big ol’ slam, clocking in at nearly three hours. Those minutes are filled with a trio of major set pieces, and plenty of talking in between about how those set pieces will be accomplished. And when I say “plenty,” I mean, “oh so very many plenty.” I really don’t think there needed to be this much dialogue for such an action-oriented flick. That’s not to say that the Mission: Impossible flicks ought to be silent (although that might be kind of cool if they were), but I personally would have advised a sleeker design. Hey, Remember Those Times Way Back When?: When it comes to long-running action series, M:I is kind of the antithesis of Fast & Furious, insofar as the former sheds several of its supporting characters in between installments without any fanfare, whereas the latter seems to just collecting them for perpetuity until it’s bursting at the seams. To be fair, there are still a few IMF mainstays hanging around, although Ethan’s female counterparts have a tendency to disappear no matter how beloved they are by fans. The Final Reckoning takes a somewhat different approach by explicitly drawing upon some of the earlier entries in ways that would have felt impossible just a few years earlier. And that’s kind of thrilling for those of us whose favorite M:I chapters seemed like they’d been completely forgotten. Timely Gobbledygook: Cautionary tales about artificial intelligence are so hot right now. But frankly The Entity doesn’t have anything to do with any real-life A.I. On the contrary, it’s just a profoundly vague MacGuffin. Or should I call it the villain? Can the MacGuffin be the villain? I think it is in this case. Anyway, it’s all just an excuse for the most baroque modern blockbuster action around, so whatever.
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning is Recommended If You Like: Parking your butt while the obsessive man does his thing