Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
January 15, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Bob's Burgers, Boob Mountain, Carrie Fisher, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Hot Robot 3: Journey to Boob Mountain, Man Seeking Woman, New Girl, Saturday Night Live, SNL, The Good Place Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Not a bad College Football Championship game
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Man Seeking Woman
Thursday – The Good Place
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Saturday – Carrie Fisher on SNL Vintage, Boob Mountain on new SNL
January 14, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors- “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
9. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
10. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
11. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
14. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
15. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
16. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
17. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
18. Rag’n’Bone – “Human”
19. The xx – “On Hold”
20. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
21. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
22. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
23. Ghost – “Square Hammer”
24. Empire of the Sun – “High and Low”
25. Metallica – “Atlas, Rise!”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Square Hammer
7. High and Low
8. Somebody Else
9. On Hold
10. Ride
11. Ophelia
12. Heathens
13. Atlas, Rise!
14. Waste a Moment
15. Cleopatra
16. Take It All Back
17. Cancer
18. I Apologize
19. Still Breathing
20. HandClap
21. Sleep on the Floor
22. She’s Out of Her Mind
23. Love on the Weekend
24. Sucker for Pain
25. Chain Breaker
January 14, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Scars to Your Beautiful Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
2. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
5. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
6. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
8. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
9. Drake – “Fake Love”
10. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
11. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall – “Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)”
12. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
13. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
14. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
15. D.R.A.M. ft Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
16. Aminé – “Caroline”
17. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
18. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Mercy”
20. Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side to Side
5. Broccoli
6. Closer
7. 24K Magic
8. Heathens
9. Starving
10. Bad and Boujee
11. Can’t Stop the Feeling!
12. Bounce Back
13. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
14. Bad Things
15. Let Me Love You
16. Caroline
17. Fake Love
18. Don’t Wanna Know
19. Mercy
20. Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)
January 12, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Carrie-Anne Moss, Cressida Bonas, Doug Jones, Douglas Smith, Faye Dunaway, Lucien Laviscount, Stacy Title, The Bye Bye Man Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in January 2017.
Starring: Douglas Smith, Cressida Bonas, Lucien Laviscount, Doug Jones, Carrie-Anne Moss
Director: Stacy Title
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Nearly R-Level Gore and Scares, Plus a Few Bare Butts
Release Date: January 13, 2017
They say that true character comes through in a crisis, and The Bye Bye Man interprets that maxim to mean that its characters should be as boring as possible when introduced. But once the titular demon creature ramps up his tactics to maximum frights, everyone suddenly becomes at least halfway interesting. But the first act is a textbook example from the School of Banal Horror Set-Ups.
Three University of Wisconsin students – Elliott (Douglas Smith), his girlfriend Sasha (Cressida Bonas), and best bud/third wheel John (Lucien Laviscount) – move into an off-campus house with some creepy old furniture together. They throw a housewarming party that is defined by bros calling each other “bro” and playing beer pong. Their distinct lack of any definable personalities persists, as creepy shadows start going bump in the night. In sum: I do not care what happens to these characters, and the blank slate of a villain does not entertain me.
Just as The Bye Bye Man is about to lose me completely, though, it finally shows its winning cinematic hand. Disorienting angles and warped set design bring you into the world of the title bogeyperson. The Bye Bye Man’s (Doug Jones) deadly tactic is a sort of mental virus spread by the utterance of his name. If you hear it, you are stuck in his grasp, suffering hallucinations that play on your most paranoid fears. The mind tricks are filled with several instances of sly humor, which is where the film most excels. The Bye Bye Man is more about the twisted laughs of manipulation than the soul-crushing weight of ominousness.
When I first heard of The Bye Bye Man, I though that its patently silly title would be a major liability. But it turns out to actually be its biggest strength. It is plainly ridiculous that anyone should be scared to say or hear something as goofily alliterative as “the Bye Bye Man.” And that is indeed how most of characters initially react, but that plays right into The B.B.M.’s trap. This flick is well worth seeing in a packed theater; every utterance of “the Bye Bye Man” is bound to simultaneously provoke genuine dread and exasperated laughs at its stupidity.
The Bye Bye Man is Recommended If You Like: The Final Destination series, the spider walk scene from The Exorcist, the original Evil Dead, Halloween
Grade: 3 out of 5 Demon Dogs
January 11, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Amy Ryan, Barry Pepper, Chris Wedge, Danny Glover, Jane Levy, Lucas Till, Monster Trucks, Rob Lowe, Thomas Lennon Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in January 2017.
Starring: Lucas Till, Jane Levy, Barry Pepper, Thomas Lennon, Danny Glover, Rob Lowe
Director: Chris Wedge
Running Time: 104 Minutes
Rating: PG for Mild Supernatural Danger
Release Date: January 13, 2017
Have you guys seen the poster for Monster Trucks? I mean, have you seen it?!
A quiet squid-like creature from the bottom of a lake wanders into a junkyard, where he practically becomes an automobile-fish hybrid as he finds shelter in the monster truck built by high school senior Tripp (Lucas Till). This could very easily be the setup for a horror movie in the vein of Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the character design of the squid-thing (dubbed “Creech” by Tripp) is kind of disturbing: long gooey tentacles and a full set of sharp, ever-present teeth. Plus, he subsists on oil, which suggests a sort of Chekhov’s Flammability that is commented upon but never delivered.
But this is indeed a Nickelodeon movie and not a classic Universal monster movie, and it bears the hallmarks of many a kids movie. There are the adults playing teenagers (Till is 26 and could pass for 30, while his tutor/love interest Jane Levy actually makes for a convincing high schooler even though she’s a year older), which is especially exacerbated by all the age-appropriate extras. There is the evil corporation whose actions set the creature loose in the first place and practically owns the whole town. There is the absentee father, plus an authority figure (Barry Pepper as Sheriff Rick) serving as Mom’s (Amy Ryan) new boyfriend. And of course there is the whole “boy and his pet” vibe between Tripp and Creech, with E.T. as a clear supernatural precedent.
Monster Trucks is worth watching if you ironically or genuinely appreciate all entries in this genre, and this particular example is due to spark unusual enthusiasm because that poster image of CreechTruck is just so striking. Does the film live up to that promise? Yes, but only in fits and starts. This is basically Fast and the Furious, Jr., and thus there are a few transcendently gravity-defying moments of Creech and his crew flying through the air. But there is weirdly little time spent freaking out over how strange this whole situation is. Most characters accept Creech’s existence remarkably quickly, which is frankly a sign of maturity. And in fact this movie is rather adult in a lot of ways. That is true in terms of the good (the acting is strong across the board – Levy is her typical delightful self, half of Thomas Lennon’s career is as a ringer in assembly line crap, and Rob Lowe is perfect, though underutilized, as the face of corporate evil), the bad (Creech has as much of a knack for collateral structural damage as any superhero), and the underwhelming, which this not-bizarre-enough head-scratcher all too often is.
Monster Trucks is Recommended If You Like: The Fast and Furious series but wish it were more kid-friendly, Mac and Me, the Evil Dead remake
Grade: 2.5 out 5 Twentysomethings Playing Teenagers
January 9, 2017
Son of Zorn, Son of Zorn Episode Reviews, Television Radioactive Ex-Girlfriend, Son of Zorn, Son of Zorn 110, Son of Zorn Season 1 Leave a comment
“That’s Craig, the gentlemen who’ll be marrying my sloppy seconds.” “I like to think of it as recycling.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-radioactive-ex-girlfriend/
January 9, 2017
Television, The Simpsons, The Simpsons Episode Reviews Pork and Burns, The Simpsons, The Simpsons 2811, The Simpsons Season 28 Leave a comment
“Yale wins! And only 3 killed!” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-pork-and-burns/
January 8, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Alison Sudol, Colin Farrell, Dan Fogler, David Yates, Eddie Redmayne, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Katherine Waterston Leave a comment
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them has basically three elements on offer: the beasts, the evils of wizardry, and the magician/No-Maj relations. The beasts are generally fine, not especially super-duper, but there is a fun payoff at the end. The fight against evil is thoughtful, though not fully satisfying, because it is obviously built to last into sequels.
But those relations between magical and non-magical folk are where Fantastic Beasts has the most of value to say. Wizards are boogeymen obviously meant as metaphorical stand-ins for immigrants. That has been a big theme for J.K. Rowling since the beginning of her career.
In this particular case, it is most intriguing in the example of Queenie (Alison Sudol) and Jacob (Dan Fogler), a witchy/no-maj combo whose chemistry is off the charts, though any pairing between them is forbidden by American wizarding laws that shun such fraternization. Their story reminds me of the interracial real-life couple at the heart of Loving insofar it makes me declare, “Let love conquer all!”
I give Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 7 Pieces of Collateral out of 10 Bakeries.
January 8, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Billy on the Street, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Doug Baldwin, Jeopardy!, Man Seeking Woman, Portlandia, The Mick Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – The Mick
Monday – Jeopardy!
Tuesday – We’re not sure if gays care about John Oliver, but do they care about Billy on the Street?
Wednesday – Man Seeking Woman
Thursday – Portlandia
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Saturday – Doug Baldwin’s butt catch
January 6, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man 1 Comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
9. OK Go – “The One Moment”
10. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
11. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
12. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
13. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
14. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
15. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
16. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
17. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
18. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
19. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
20. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
21. Panic! at the Disco – “Bohemian Rhapsody”
22. The xx – “On Hold”
23. Metallica – “Atlas, Rise!”
24. Rag’n’Bone – “Human”
25. Ghost – “Square Hammer”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Square Hammer
7. Somebody Else
8. On Hold
9. Ride
10. The One Moment
11. Ophelia
12. Heathens
13. Atlas, Rise!
14. Waste a Moment
15. Cleopatra
16. Take It All Back
17. Cancer
18. I Apologize
19. Still Breathing
20. HandClap
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Bohemian Rhapsody
24. Sucker for Pain
25. Chain Breaker
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