Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
June 26, 2016
Television, What Won TV? Another Period, Cole-Blooded Seminar, Deon Cole, Jeopardy!, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser, Silicon Valley, UnREAL, VICE Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Silicon Valley
Monday – UnREAL
Tuesday – Not Safe with Nikki Glaser
Wednesday – Another Period
Thursday – Jeopardy!
Friday – VICE, with the best use for poop
Saturday – Deon Cole teaching us something with his Cole-Blooded Seminar
June 26, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Wiener Dog Movie, Wiener-Dog Leave a comment
Todd Solondz’ Wiener-Dog is a series of vignettes about a dachshund’s revolving set of owners: a contentious couple (Tracy Letts, Julie Delpy) and their sensitive, cancer-survivor son (Keaton Nigel Cooke); a new version of awkward Dawn Wiener (Greta Gerwig) from Solondz’ breakout Welcome to the Dollhouse; a hack film professor (Danny DeVito); and a regretful old woman (Ellen Burstyn). Typical for a Solondz film, each character suffers occasionally ugly physical and emotional upheaval, with the dachshund serving – as dogs do – as a conduit to all the trauma. That connection is also represented through her changing names, ranging from the charmingly literal (“Wiener-Dog”) to the unnervingly symbolic (“Cancer”). While Solondz’ approach is off-putting, his characters’ indignities are not necessarily unusual (save for a few instances that manage an uncanny mix of mundane and extreme). It is a low-key effort, with plenty of incisive moments about what it means to be human that manage to be comforting despite, or somehow because, of the darkness.
I give Wiener-Dog 3 Bones.
June 25, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Daniel Radcliffe, Daniels, Farting Corpse, Paul Dano, Swiss Army Man 1 Comment
Swiss Army Man is a lot like the recent X-Files episode, “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster,” in that a human-esque creature learns the rules that govern human civilization and then offers a rejuvenating perspective to a fully human companion. In this case, that creature is the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe,henceforth known as “Manny” (not unlike Rhys Darby as “Guy Mann”), whose presence revitalizes suicidal Hank (Paul Dano), most strikingly with the propulsive power of his flatulence. But there is so much more to Manny. He combines a blank slate, sophistication, and bluntness for a new form of wisdom. As Manny develops the ability to talk, his and Hank’s conversations tend toward the discomfort (both physical and social) of bodily urges and functions, but they are treated with the tenderness worthy of deeply connected friends. Swiss Army Man threatens to lift the veil of its fantasy, but it keeps its corpse fart-engine running, because magic exists.
I give Swiss Army Man 721 New Uses for the Human Body out of 1030 Possibilities.
June 24, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Blake Lively in a Bikini, Flavio Martínez Labiano, Jaume Collet-Serra, The Shallows Leave a comment
The premise for The Shallows – Blake Lively stuck on a rock while a hungry shark prowls around – sounds like a recipe for lean, no-frills horror. Alas, there are some frills, in the form of a fairly standard issue backstory. Lively plays Nancy, a med school student with some doubts about her life’s trajectory following the death of her mother, so she comes to surf at the remote Mexican beach that Mom visited while pregnant with her. These details are sort of superfluous, but they are well-deployed, explaining Nancy’s motivation and resourcefulness as she fights to survive. Plus, it gives director Jaume Collet-Serra plenty of opportunities to show off his knack for cinematizing mobile communication.
Most striking about The Shallows is the gorgeous cinematography, courtesy of Flavio Martínez Labiano. In addition to the gratuitous cheesecake shots, there are sublimely expansive vistas of the hills and shore overlooking the ocean. This beauty might feel out of place for a film whose m.o. is striking fear, but the widescreen quality is utilized smartly. Visuals that are initially life-affirming eventually serve to viscerally emphasize the isolation and long odds faced by Nancy.
For anyone worried about the implications of the MPAA’s ruling, rest assured that The Shallows is probably the goriest PG-13 movie I have ever seen. From Nancy’s improvised surgery on herself, to the fates that befall some of her would-be saviors, there are moments as intense as any of those from the most explicit creature features. The subgenre of Impossible Odds Thrillers exists to convince moviegoers they can survive life-or-death situations more than they ever thought possible. The Shallows is unrelenting in that belief.
Finally, everything you have heard about Blake Lively’s seagull co-star is true.
I give The Shallows 8 Reservoirs of Internal Strength out of 10 Expressions of Terror.
June 24, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Daniel Radcliffe, Dave Franco, Jay Chou, Jesse Eisenberg, Jon M. Chu, Lizzy Caplan, Mark Ruffalo, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Now You See Me, Now You See Me 2, Sanaa Lathan, Woody Harrelson Leave a comment
The first Now You See Me did not stick the landing so much as it hit the ground with a sledgehammer, by force of a twist ending that made one of its main characters much more psychotic than the film had any intention of grappling with. It was, in a word, breathtaking. Now You See Me 2 responds in kind with a similarly outrageous long con that is very much in keeping with the spirit of this series – that is to say: maddening, but weirdly satisfying if you have a high tolerance for insanity. The problem, however, is that this time there is not much to tide you over until that ending comes. Where the original had a silly but kinetic Robin Hood-style caper plot to run on, number 2 is a whole lotta lack of clarity.
I give Now You See Me 2 5 Acknowledgements of Its Sexism out of 10 Other Things It Should Have Also Been Doing.
June 22, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Finding Dory Leave a comment
A lot of sequels are unsuccessful due to wholly unnatural extensions of the original. Finding Dory has no such problem. Following the events of Finding Nemo, it only makes sense that the blue tang voiced by Ellen DeGeneres would want to swim across the ocean to find her parents. That predictability is definitely not a problem, but it does hold the film back from transcendence. It tightly follows an easily navigable pattern: complete this mission, move on to the next one. Not every plot development is predictable, but every resolution is. That is, except for a truly astounding ending that breaks all sense of believability. True, believability may not be the most important factor for the movies examining the Secret Life of Marine Animals, but one still expects limits. That is not a complaint, though. The entire film could have benefited from this go-for-broke mentality.
I give Finding Dory 5 out of 7 Septapus Legs.
June 22, 2016
Cinema, Movie Reviews Little Sister Film Leave a comment
Director Zach Clark’s Little Sister, which played as part of BAMcinemaFest 2016, captures the essence of childhood’s steady grip on young adulthood. In this particular case, the young adult is Colleen (Addison Timlin), a nun who gets back in touch with her teenage goth side when she returns to her parents’ home in North Carolina to visit her war hero brother, who was badly burned by an explosion in Iraq. The transformation from mistress of the night to mistress of God might sound like the kooky creation of a Hollywood screenwriter, but let me tell ya: as someone who went to a Catholic high school, I have witnessed a goth contingent among the faithful. Now, whether or not any of those girls went on to the abbey, I will have to admit my doubts. The point is, this premise is not that far a stretch from reality.
The film grapples with accepting life’s shortcomings when it does not live up to the assumptions and perceptions borne of inexperience. Grown children realize the extent of their parents’ drug use, a pending marriage is challenged by physical disfigurement, and an abbey struggles to fulfill its charity work when the mother superior’s car is unavailable longer than unexpected. Little Sister hits that sweet spot between oddness and familiarity.
I give Little Sister 2 Hugs out of 2.5 Drugs.
June 21, 2016
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Empire of the Sun, Walking on a Dream Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange that top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
2. twenty one pilots – “Stressed Out”
3. James Bay – “Let It Go”
4. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
5. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
6. Disturbed – “The Sound of Silence”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Dark Necessities”
9. The Strumbellas – “Spirits”
10. Ben Rector – “Brand New”
11 Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
12. blink-182 – “Bored to Death”
13. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
14. Empire of the Sun – “Walking on a Dream”
15. Bishop Briggs – “River”
16. Kongos – “Take It From Me”
17. The 1975 – “The Sound”
18. Beck – “Wow”
19. blink-182 – “Rabbit Hole”
20. Volbeat – “The Devil’s Beating Crown”
21. Elle King – “America’s Sweetheart”
22. Goo Goo Dolls – “So Alive”
23. Panic! at the Disco – “Death of a Bachelor”
24. Panic! at the Disco – “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time”
25. Cage the Elephant – “Trouble”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Walking on a Dream
2. River
3. Take It From Me
4. Way Down We Go
5. Wow
6. Trouble
7. The Devil’s Beating Crown
8. The Sound
9. Unsteady
10. Ophelia
11. Ride
12. Dark Necessities
13. Stressed Out
14. Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time
15. So Alive
16. Death of a Bachelor
17. The Sound of Silence
18. America’s Sweetheart
19. Spirits
20. Hymn for the Weekend
21. HandClap
22. Rabbit Hole
23. Let It Go
24. Brand New
25. Bored to Death
June 21, 2016
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Cheap Thrills, Sia Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Drake ft. WizKid and Kyla – “One Dance”
2. Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”
3. Desiigner – “Panda”
4. The Chainsmokers ft. Daya – “Don’t Let Me Down”
5. Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign – “Work From Home”
6. Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – “This Is What You Came For”
7. Rihanna – “Needed Me”
8. Sia ft. Sean Paul – “Cheap Thrills”
9. Mike Posner – “I Took a Pill in Ibiza”
10. Kent Jones – “Don’t Mind”
11. Lukas Graham – “7 Years”
12. P!nk – “Just Like Fire”
13. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
14. Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo – “Close”
15. Ariana Grande – “Dangerous Woman”
16. Rihanna ft. Drake – “Work”
17. Florida Georgia Line – “H.O.L.Y.”
18. Meghan Trainor – “Me Too”
19. Justin Bieber – “Love Yourself”
20. Adele – “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Cheap Thrills
2. Work From Home
3. Work
4. Close
5. I Took a Pill in Ibiza
6. Dangerous Woman
7. Ride
8. Needed Me
9. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
10. Me Too
11. Can’t Stop the Feeling!
12. Love Yourself
13. One Dance
14. Don’t Let Me Down
15. This Is What You Came For
16. Just Like Fire
17. Panda
18. 7 Years
19. Don’t Mind
20. H.O.L.Y.
June 19, 2016
Television, What Won TV? Check It Out!, Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Last Week Tonight, OJ: Made in America, Orphan Black Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Monday – The most thankful I’ve ever been for Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Tuesday – OJ: Made in America Part 2
Wednesday – OJ: Made in America Part 3
Thursday – Orphan Black
Friday – Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule – a real humdinger of a season premiere
Saturday – OJ: Made in America Part 5
Jmunney's Blog 