How to Become ‘Scrambled’ at the Movies

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How Scrambled are they?! (CREDIT: Lionsgate/Roadside Attractions)

Starring: Leah McKendrick, Ego Nwodim, Andrew Santino, Clancy Brown, Laura Cerón

Director: Leah McKendrick

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)

Scrambled is about a single 34-year-old woman named Nellie (Leah McKendrick, who also wrote and directed) who decides to freeze her eggs in case she doesn’t get pregnant the usual way anytime soon. So of course, I now have to ask: would I like to become scrambled myself?

Obviously, I can’t go on the same exact journey as Nellie, seeing as I don’t have a body that ovulates. But I certainly could one day undergo some medical procedure that requires me to poke needles into my body in preparation. That begs the question: could I actually stomach such a regimen? Perhaps my experience watching Scrambled could provide some hints.

It didn’t start off so great, as I kept holding my hands over my eyes whenever Nellie injected herself. But then I remembered that back in 2005, I had no trouble remaining focused during the infamous syringe pit scene in Saw II. So as Nellie made her final injection, I took Alejandro Amenábar’s advice and opened my eyes. And well, I’m still standing, and just a little bit scrambled.

Grade: Enough Eggs to Be Viable

Should You Press (Kid ‘N) Play on This Year’s ‘House Party’?

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thank you brond james (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Jacob Latimore, Tosin Cole, DC Young Fly, Karen Obilom, Andrew Santino, Melvin Gregg, Rotimi, Allen Maldonado, Kid Cudi, LeBron James, Mýa

Director: Calmatic

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Party Vices and a Shockingly Violent Turn in the Final Act

Release Date: January 13, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Kevin (Jacob Latimore) and Damon (Tosin Cole) – that’s duh-MON, not DAY-muhn – have just found out they’re about to be fired from their house cleaning job after getting busted for toking up on the job. But they’ve got a side hustle as party promoters, so they decide to go all in on that venture when they find out that the last house they’re cleaning belongs to none other than LeBron James. The NBA great is away on a mindfulness retreat, so they take over his crib for one wild night in the hopes of clearing their debts and launching themselves into the social stratosphere. Naturally enough, though, chaos ensues. A championship ring is stolen, a koala turns violent, and the Illuminati are contacted. And of course, there’s the whole business about the two friends falling apart but then ultimately becoming closer than ever.

What Made an Impression?: If you weren’t around 30 years ago, you might have missed that 2023’s House Party is a remake of the 1990 flick of the same name that starred hip-hop duo Kid ‘n Play and spawned a couple of sequels. That connection feels rather beside the point, though, as it’s not like the original House Party owns a copyright on any and all depictions of cinematic house parties. If you want to make a movie about a party at someone’s house, it’s not like you need Kid ‘n Play’s permission. Although I suppose the brand name recognition helps, and Kid and Play do in fact stop by for a quick cameo.

In that vein, much of the 2023 edition feels like a time capsule from the 90s or at least the early 2000s. In addition to Kid ‘n Play’s pop-in, Bill Bellamy, Lil Wayne, Juvenile, and Snoop Dogg all stop by for some cameos. (Although I guess we can recognize Snoop as eternal at this point.) Plus, there’s a running thread in which Damon tries to book Mýa for the party, and I’m thinking, “Mýa? I haven’t heard from her since ‘Lady Marmalade’!” She still looks great, though!

Anyway, does this 21st century House Party deliver the requisite laughs and welcoming hangout vibes? It’s definitely a little too sleepy at first, as the opening act mostly consists of Kevin and Damon by themselves in a very big house, and there’s just none of the cacophony necessary to fill all that air. When the party eventually starts poppin’, it’s still not exactly a nonstop laugh riot, though there are enough bizarre digressions to at least hold my attention. And Lena Waithe shows up for a scene or two to deliver some chuckle-worthy stoner thoughts. So ultimately, Kevin and Damon string us along on a journey that starts out at Dreadful and ends up at Not Too Bad.

House Party is Recommended If You Like: Movies That Are Surreal But Not Quite Surreal Enough

Grade: 2 out of 5 Koalas

This Is a Movie Review: ‘The Disaster Artist’ is James Franco is Tommy Wiseau is the Star Inside Us All

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CREDIT: Justina Mintz/A24

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Dave Franco, James Franco, Seth Rogen, Alison Brie, Ari Graynor, Josh Hutcherson, Jacki Weaver, Zac Efron, Megan Mullally, Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, Hannibal Buress, Nathan Fielder, June Diane Raphael, Andrew Santino, Charlyne Yi, Melanie Griffith, Sharon Stone, Bob Odenkirk, Judd Apatow

Director: James Franco

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for an Auteur Asshole

Release Date: December 1, 2017 (Limited)/Expands Nationwide December 8, 2017

When I watched Shane Carruth’s 2013 film Upstream Color – about a man and a woman who ingest a larva with the power to drastically affect the human mind – I was excited by the conscious-altering possibilities. But I was ultimately disappointed by the impenetrable narrative. Upstream does have its fans, but I thought an opportunity was missed by presenting an abstract subject with just-as-abstract storytelling. But now we have a film that is more along the lines of what I thought Upstream Color was going to be, and that film is The Disaster Artist, which imposes a typical biopic structure onto one of the strangest individuals of all time. There is the classic rise-fall-rise and a soundtrack that raises the roof with beats that were first hits about a decade before the events of the film, but all this normality only illuminates the unfathomability that is Tommy Wiseau.

Wiseau has achieved a very unique sort of fame as the writer-director-producer-star of the 2003 independent melodrama The Room. It has been called by some the worst movie of all time, but that descriptor is way off-base. A better take that others have offered is “the greatest bad movie of all time,” but that is still not quite right. “A surreal masterpiece” is the moniker that I prefer. For The Disaster Artist to be successful, it does not need to be as surreal as The Room, as The Room already exists. Although perhaps a perfectly valid option would have been to simply remake The Room shot-for-shot with a new cast, which The Disaster Artist does in part in a delightful post-credits segment featuring recreations of classic scenes from The Room presented side-by-side along the originals, displaying how the new versions are accurate to every inch and millisecond.

James Franco directs and stars as Wiseau, and this proves to be the perfect outlet for his incorrigible proclivities. Wiseau is infamously dodgy about his personal background, but based on his accent, it is clear enough that he is from Eastern Europe, though he claims to be from New Orleans. But it is perhaps most accurate to think of him as a vampire caveman alien, as his odd syntax, singular worldview, and inexplicable behavior go beyond simply being lost in translation. Nobody but Tommy could be Tommy, but Franco comes as close as possible. And this is not the sort of lark that much of his career has come off as. Instead, it is in service of a strangely uplifting story about never giving up on your dreams.

Alongside Wiseau is his Room co-star/friend-despite-all-obstacles Greg Sestero (who co-wrote the book of the same name that The Disaster Artist is based on), played by James’ younger brother Dave. The younger Franco is a little more boyish than the deeper-voiced Sestero, but they both have an all-American squeaky-clean handsomeness befitting the moniker “Babyface,” Tommy’s nickname for Greg. The Franco brothers have significantly different faces than Sestero and Wiseau, though their looks are well approximated by solid hair and makeup jobs. This is not an exact encapsulation of the original Wiseau-Sestero dynamic (how could it be?), but there is some weird magic in the Franco pairing that works as an avatar to this weird creative pairing.

I read The Disaster Artist when it was first published in 2013. I have not re-read it since, so my memory of it is not perfectly fresh, but I remember enough to know that there is some streamlining at play here. But the liberties that were taken serve to bolster the film’s thesis that has been borne out by the directions that Wiseau and Sestero’s lives have taken since The Room has become a cult classic. In one scene, Tommy approaches a producer (Judd Apatow) at a restaurant, who assures Tommy that he will never find success in Hollywood in a million years. “But after that?” Tommy earnestly asks. It has not literally taken him that long to achieve his stardom, but “more than one million years later” might be the best figurative way to explain how long it took him to realize his dreams, and that boundlessness beyond normal temporality is the engine that The Disaster Artist runs on.

The obvious antecedent to this film is Ed Wood, but that earlier biopic was released more than a decade after the death of its titular maker of the worst films of all time. Tommy’s story is not over, and now it is inextricably tied up with the most fervent fans of The Room, many of whom populate the cast of The Disaster Artist. There are several moments in this making-of in which classic lines from The Room are uttered in Tommy’s personal life that could come off as fan service but avoid that pitfall because of how nakedly autobiographical The Room is. James Franco and his crew of shockingly eager collaborators have invited us all to take place in this autobiography, and the result is intoxicating.

The Disaster Artist is Recommended If You Like: The Room of course, Ed Wood, James and Dave Franco’s old Funny or Die videos, How Did This Get Made?

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Doggies