Hunter Schafer and Dan Stevens Go ‘Cuckoo’ in the Mountains

August 5, 2024

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We all go a little Cuckoo sometimes (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Hunter Schafer, Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Greta Fernández, Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, Konrad Singer, Proschat Madani, Kalin Morrow

Director: Tilman Singer

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Language Bloody, Reality-Altering Violence

Release Date: August 9, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: 17-year-old American Gretchen (Hunter Schafer) is summoned to the German Alps to live with her father Luis (Marton Csokas), stepmom Beth (Jessica Henwick) and little half-sister Alma (Mila Lieu), but she’s skeptical of the whole situation. And rightly so. She gets a job at the local hotel, which proves to be much less low-key than she was expecting when she’s chased home by a mysterious woman. (Or was it a woman?) Then there’s Herr König (Dan Stevens), who might just be running the town as his own personal experiment. Gretchen seems to be alone in recognizing how surreal everything is, besides a detective (Jan Bluthardt) who recruits her into an investigation into what König is really up to. And the truth probably isn’t what anybody is expecting.

What Made an Impression?: The Adults Aren’t Alright: Teenage angst and horror go hand-in-hand. But interestingly enough, none of the scares in Cuckoo are really derived from Gretchen’s internal disposition. There’s a running thread about her failing to get a hold of her Mom back in the U.S., which is plenty distressing on its own. But if Gretchen is the most tormented character in this movie, then that means that she’s also the most reasonable. Her father tells her to just knock it off and behave, but that’s not the sort of parenting she needs right now. Also, he might have been brainwashed by the machinations of Herr König, whom Stevens plays as the ultimate over-the-top mustache-twirling mad scientist. The detective is the most clear-eyed of all the adults about what’s actually happening, but even he is a little too erratic for Gretchen to get close to. We all learn eventually that grown-ups are more or less making it up as they go along, and Gretchen’s realization about that is exponentially starker than most.

Playing God vs. Finding Family: To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, there is only one thing in this world more difficult than accurately describing Cuckoo while avoiding spoilers, and that is accurately describing Cuckoo while not avoiding spoilers. Maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic, but this is definitely a bizarre, unique vision that I’m still processing. For those eager to experience the thrills on display, I’ll offer some hints by asking you to think about the bird referenced in the title and then imagining what a humanoid hybrid of such a creature would be like. As it turns out, little Alma is the key to that endeavor. Gretchen isn’t exactly an ideal big sister at the beginning of the movie, but her life-threatening journey sure helps her discover what family really means. That proves to be decent enough motivation to deliver what Cuckoo is selling.

Cuckoo is Recommended If You Like: Rosemary’s Baby, Splice, Déjà vu (The sensation, not the movie)

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Head Bandages

This Is a Movie Review: Guy Ritchie Adds Some Cockney Flair to Camelot with ‘King Arthur: Legend of the Sword’

May 12, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in May 2017.

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, Djimon Hounsou, Aidan Gillen, Erica Bana

Director: Guy Ritchie

Running Time: 126 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Stab Wounds That Seem to Only Happen During Thunderstorms

Release Date: May 12, 2017

The King Arthur legend has been told and re-told countless times over the centuries. On film, it has been fantastical, animated, “realistic,” romantic, and explicit. Could Guy Ritchie, that purveyor of stylish British gangsters, possibly have anything new to add to the mythos? Based on Legend of the Sword, the answer is: apparently there were options that we were never even considering.

The bare bones of the plot of this edition play up the similarities between Arthurian legend and the biblical tale of Moses. Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana) places his infant son Arthur in a basket in a river to escape the grasp of his power-mad brother Vortigern (Jude Law), who murders Uther to ascend to the throne. Arthur then grows up in a brothel to become Charlie Hunnam, and he promptly draws the sword Excalibur from the stone. So far, so sticking to the script. The rest of it, however, is Ritchie’s unique vision – surprisingly fascinating, intermittently satisfying.

With phrases like “honey tits” and nicknames like “Kung Fu George,” this is basically the cockney version of Camelot. The archaic aesthetic is not committed to fully, though, but that oddly leads me to somewhat admire Ritchie’s restraint. There is, however, complete commitment to editing the film like a heist caper, rendering the future Knights of the Round Table a sort of Pendragon’s Eleven. The plan to topple Vortigern is not exactly a matter of trickery (at least no more so than any rebellious maneuver is), but I guess you have to get your kicks in somewhere. Legend of the Sword leaves its most lasting stamp in its fetish for oversized, foreboding animals. They are not quite as visionary as the eels in A Cure for Wellness, say, and I have no idea what purpose they serve (beyond the maxim “critters accompany magic”), but I have to give some props to a summer blockbuster with such strange, gooey visuals.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is Recommended If You Like: Slimy, Scaly Creatures

Grade: 2.75 out of 5 Mages