They Finally Made a Movie Out of the ‘Cocaine Bear’

February 23, 2023

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Cocaine Bear Gonna Cocaine Bear (CREDIT: Universal Studios)

Starring: Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Ray Liotta, Christian Convery, Brooklynn Prince, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday, Kristofer Hivju

Director: Elizabeth Banks

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R for A Trail of Terrifyingly Bloody Drug-Fueled Destruction

Release Date: February 24, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A bear did cocaine. A BEAR did cocaine! A bear did COCAINE! A bear DID cocaine!

A BEAR DID COCAINE!

This is a movie that certainly delivers on the premise of its title. After a botched bit of drug trafficking leaves a duffel bag full of cocaine unsupervised in a Georgia park, a black bear ingests mass quantities of the powder and proceeds to become supernaturally aggressive. A park ranger, some teenage miscreants, a single mom and her young daughter and her daughter’s friend, and a couple of hikers all get caught in the path of the rampage, while the guys who are on the hook for the stash go to extreme lengths to retrieve it. What could possibly go right?!

What Made an Impression?: After watching a film like Cocaine Bear, I find it helpful to paraphrase the classic movie-mocking show Mystery Science Theater 3000 by utilizing the mantra “Just repeat to myself: It’s just a movie, I should really just relax.” Except, in this case, this nightmare is actually based on a true story. Very loosely based on a true story, though, so we can still remain at ease. In the real version, the bear died before it had the chance to do any sort of damage. Still, despite the fantastical exaggeration, the movie has a rather grounded feel to it that serves as a reminder about how we’re all living – for now – at the mercy of nature.

Let me be absolutely clear (if I haven’t been already): this is one of the most graphically violent mainstream American movies I’ve seen in quite some time. Body parts are torn off and tossed aside with ease, while guts are exposed as a feast for cubs. And it’s made all the more distressing by the fact that we get to know pretty much all of the victims before they meet their demises. Sometimes extreme cinema is positively invigorating; other times, it makes me ask: should I be watching this?

While Cocaine Bear made me reckon with mortality more than I was expecting it to, I could at least appreciate the craft and the commitment. The use of CGI in the bear is obvious and occasionally dodgy in close-ups, but in a way that counterintuitively works. It feels like a cartoon has invaded the physical realm in the worst way possible. And then there are the performances, which dial up the Southern-fried quirks in about half the cast, and then you have the more grounded work, particularly by Ray Liotta in one of his final on-screen appearances. Even in a film as outlandish as this one, in which he’s playing a drug trafficker sporting a gloriously coiffed mane that’s wilder than any woodland creature’s, he finds the genuine motivating oomph. Simply put, we’re in good hands with him, as he forges a true connection in a situation where everything could easily go off the rails in every direction. So come for the brute-force premise, and stay for the subtle surprises.

Cocaine Bear is Recommended If You Like: Piranha, Anaconda, Lake Placid, 80s Rock ‘n’ Roll

Grade: 3 out of 5 Duffel Bags

‘The Turning’ is a Workmanlike Piece of Gothic Horror Until It Is Overcome by an Astoundingly Abrupt Ending

January 23, 2020

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CREDIT: Patrick Redmond/Universal Pictures and DreamWorks Pictures

Starring: Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard, Brooklynn Prince, Barbara Marten, Joely Richardson

Director: Floria Sigsimondi

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for General Spookiness, Fantastically Rude Children, and Artfully Composed Bathtub Shots

Release Date: January 24, 2020

Take a classic gothic horror tale, pair it with a director of classic music videos, and what do you get? Almost certainly a spooky atmosphere. But will the narrative be just as effective? The Turning is based on Henry James’ 1898 novella The Turn of the Screw and it’s directed by Floria Sigismondi, who is best known for colorful clips like Katy Perry’s “E.T.” and Rihanna’s “Sledgehammer.” Perhaps that rock ‘n’ roll background is why The Turning is set squarely in 1994, with the death of Kurt Cobain serving as one of the last moments that Kate (Mackenzie Davis) experiences in the outside world before descending into a pit of terror. She has been hired as a live-in tutor and nanny for a couple of orphans in a perpetually autumnal mansion that looks at least as old James’ story.

Kate is immediately haunted by ghostly visions, and while she generally trusts her own eyes, she has reason to believe that she is just dreaming or that the kids are playing tricks on her. While the younger of the two, Flora (Brooklynn Prince), is mostly sweet, the older one, Miles (Finn Wolfhard), is the epitome of disaffected, possibly sociopathic adolescence. The Turning is most effective as a portrait of how hate can linger and infect an entire household, whether or not the phantom sightings are real ghosts. Miles was apparently close with the former groundskeeper, who died in an accident and is described as a brute of a man. Meanwhile, the housekeeper (Barbara Marten), who looks like she’s been there since the house was built, is aware of all of these dynamics but is more concerned about keeping everything difficult under wraps.

For the most part, The Turning is a fairly straightforward, patient (perhaps to a fault) tale about how difficult it can be to escape a toxic environment, even when it is so clear that you must get out. It seems to be heading towards a conclusion that works perfectly fine for such a setup, but then it is interrupted by one of the most puzzling endings I’ve ever seen. This hardly qualifies as a spoiler because it is nowhere near clear what this finale actually is. It’s enough to make you suspect that the last reel of film is missing. (Or, since we’re now in a digital projection era, I suppose the error would’ve been that the last 10% of the file didn’t convert properly.) The closest comparison I can think of is the famously nonsensical ending of the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, but in that case, it is clear that it was tacked on after the fact and thus easy to dismiss as not really part of the rest of the movie. I would be willing to do the same with The Turning‘s ending, but it very much feels like it is there for a reason. Alas, it’s a reason that never reveals itself. It’s just plain baffling, and thus hard to call this movie anything but incomplete.

The Turning is Recommended If You Like: Leaving five minutes before the ending

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Dead Fish