Ay Yai Yai, ‘Mafia Mamma’

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Mamma Mia! (CREDIT: Bleecker Street)

Starring: Toni Collette, Monica Bellucci, Sophia Nomvete, Giulio Corso, Francesco Mastroianni, Alfonso Perugini, Eduardo Scarpetta, Tim Daish, Tommy Rodger

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for Screwy Violence and Awkwardly Self-Aware Sex

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Kristin (Toni Collette) is just your typical American suburban mom with a steady job at an ad agency who longs to live out her own version of Eat Pray Love. She hardly knows her birth country of Italy, but she gets a chance to finally visit when the grandfather she never knew passes away. And wouldn’t you know it, Grandpa was a godfather, and control of the family’s operations has now been inherited by none other than Kristin. Could it be that all she needs to experience a midlife renaissance is brokering a peace between warring mafia factions? She’s going to find out soon enough, because passions run hot in Calabria, and nobody has much patience for a silly American who just wants to eat pasta and hook up with random hotties.

What Made an Impression?: Mafia Mamma is an absolutely outrageous movie. Nobody seems to have any idea how to behave appropriately in the pressure-filled situations they find themselves in. Kristin reacts pretty much exactly the same when she walks in on her husband having sex with someone else as she does when being shot at during a funeral. Which is to say: general annoyance that just gets added to the list of grievances that make her midlife crisis. And then there’s the scene when her video work call gets interrupted by an assassin, and the ensuing tussle climaxes with a nice bloody close-up of a detached eyeball plopping along the floor. This could be amusing, but it’s all so blunt. The timing is just way off.

I would love to be able to say that I enjoyed this movie. How could anybody resist Toni Collette! And it’s always nice to see Catherine Hardwicke continuing to work, even if she’ll probably never direct anything as massive as Twilight ever again. But sometimes you just have to accept that the people you’re rooting for don’t quite accomplish what they’re trying to pull off. It can be tough to get a violent screwball formula just right, so there’s no reason to dwell on it when it doesn’t work out.

Mafia Mamma is Recommended If You Like: Shaming people for never having seen The Godfather

Grade: 2 out of 5 Gelatos

Movie Review: Gina Rodriguez Enlivens the Otherwise By-the-Numbers ‘Miss Bala’

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CREDIT: Columbia Pictures

Starring: Gina Rodriguez, Ismael Cruz Córdova, Anthony Mackie, Aislinn Derbez, Matt Lauria, Cristina Rodlo, Ricardo Abarca, Thomas Dekker

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Drug Trafficking, Violence Shot Far Enough Away That You Don’t See the Worst of It, and Nudity Covered Up by Towels and Shower Steam

Release Date: February 1, 2019

What if you found yourself embroiled in a series of criminal activities because some bad actors forced you to do their bidding, and you somehow made it out alive? Would you think that this is a sign that you should transform yourself into a full-time badass? Would you maybe even suspect that the whole thing was engineered as a training exercise? This is the ringer that Gloria Meyer (Gina Rodriguez) goes through, and anyone watching Miss Bala (a remake of the 2011 Mexican film of the same name) cannot possibly be anything but impressed by her resourcefulness and gumption.

Gloria is a makeup artist living in Los Angeles who heads south of the border to Tijuana to make her friend Suzu’s (Cristina Rodlo) face a work of art to help her win a beauty pageant. But then a trip to the nightclub leads to a disorienting succession of gunfire, kidnapping, and irreversible new life paths. As Gloria attempts to find Suzu after the two get separated, a drug cartel grabs a hold of her and forces her to do their dirty work. Then the DEA gets their paws on her as well, offering a potential chance to escape this predicament, though the price will not exactly be cheap. She quickly realizes that within the arena of the drug war, nobody really has her back. But as this is a star vehicle for Rodriguez, you know that Gloria will some way, somehow, emerge alive and on top. By the end, you might wonder if this was all a simulation designed to test her mettle, but that conclusion would ignore how chaotic the whole ordeal is, and the filmmaking makes it clear that her survival is never a guarantee.

Miss Bala hits hard as a character study, but it is fairly standard-issue as an action film. Gloria’s psychological development is abundantly present all over the screen, and there are few actors who can combine steely commitment and vulnerability the way that Rodriguez does. Director Catherine Hardwicke has a knack for getting her actors exactly where they need to be, but when it comes to the particular demands of the genre, she plays it safe. That means a standard-issue rough-and-tumble (though thankfully not too frenetic) editing style and a thrum-thrum-thrum score that sounds like it came from the stock music catalogue. So Miss Bala hardly reinvents the wheel, but it’s worth it to see Rodriguez’s face light up when she realizes that she’s a winner, baby.

Miss Bala is Recommended If You Like: Jane the Virgin but wish it had more drug trafficking storylines

Grade: 3 out of 5 Survival Tactics