Movie Reviews: Making a Sentence Out of Two Titles Edition: The ‘Smurfs’ and ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’

1 Comment

We Smurfed What You Smurfed Last Smurf (CREDIT: Paramount Animation; Brook Rushton/Columbia Pictures)

Smurfs

Starring: Rihanna, James Corden, John Goodman, Nick Offerman, JP Karliak, Dan Levy, Amy Sedaris, Natasha Lyonne, Sandra Oh, Jimmy Kimmel, Octavia Spencer, Nick Kroll, Hannah Waddingham, Alex Winter, Maya Erskine, Kurt Russell, Xolo Maridueña, Hugo Miller, Chris Miller, Billie Lourd, Marshmello, Spencer X, Chrisy Prynoski

Director: Chris Miller

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG for Smurf Action and Some Rude Smurfin’

Release Date: July 18, 2025 (Theaters)

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Starring: Chase Sui Wonders, Madelyn Cline, Jonah Hauer-King, Tyriq Withers, Sarah Pidgeon, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Billy Campbell, Gabriette Bechtel

Director: Jennifer Kaytin Robinson

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Twisting, Poking, and Hanging, Plus a Few Seductions and a Couple of Joints

Release Date: July 18, 2025 (Theaters)

A couple of decades-old franchises are getting revived at the multiplex this weekend. That sentence could apply to just about any weekend from the past 25 years or so. But in case you’re reading this review from the future (or the past), the weekend I’m specifically referring to right now is the one that begins on July 18, 2025. And the movies I’m talking about are Smurfs (no “the”) and the same-titled lega-sequel I Know What You Did Last Summer. Is there any way both of these movies could possibly appeal to the same person?! Let’s use myself as a test case.

More

‘Bodies Bodies Bodies’ Will Have You Laughing, But Not for Long, Because Things Get Stressful Quick, But in an Edifying Way

2 Comments

Bodies Bodies Bodies (CREDIT: Eric Chakeen/A24)

Starring: Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Myha’la Herrold, Rachel Sennott, Chase Sui Wonders, Pete Davidson, Lee Pace

Director: Halina Reijn

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R for Generally Raucous Vibes That Make Everyone Ill-Prepared for the Bloodbath

Release Date: August 5, 2022 (Limited)/August 12, 2022 (Expands Wide)

What’s It About?: What’s the best thing to do during a hurricane? Hunker down for a house party, maybe? Eh, even if the building is sturdy enough to prevent any permanent damage, things could get messy. Which is to say, the characters of Bodies Bodies Bodies are putting themselves at risk. Emotional, physical, potentially lethal risk. The group of seven hanging out at the mansion are a mix of longtime friends and new lovers, as well as plenty of uninvited secrets and passive-aggressiveness. When the storm forces them inside for the night, they decide to play the titular party game, in which one person is assigned to play the “killer” who must be sussed out by the other players. But when one of them actually winds up dead, an impromptu murder investigation begins. And instead of banding together, they all find ways to be suspicious of each other.

What Made an Impression?: Like other great killer mystery thrillers, Bodies Bodies Bodies does a fine job of convincing us that everyone is a legitimate suspect. Just when I thought I’d identified the most secretive and cruel individual, somebody else does something equally thoughtless. Based on what we see, these are not very good friends. I was most reminded of 2015’s Unfriended, in which a Skype session turns deadly as each of the callers reveal just how profoundly awful they are. But the Bodies Bodies Bodies crew aren’t quite that terrible. Instead, they’re insecure young adults trying to figure out what to do with their lives, and they’re not finding any useful support from the other insecure people around them. If you add buckets of windy rain and a dead body to that powder keg, it’s not going to be a fun night.

It all resolves in a gut-punch of an ending that will have you going, “It’s just a movie. I should really just relax.” Because if you don’t, you’ll be stressed out for days, or potentially months even. These people shouldn’t be partying, they should be in therapy. (Well, maybe they can rage every once in a while if they maintain a healthy therapy schedule.) What if the sequel were a visit to a psychiatrist during a hurricane? I would definitely check that out. Anyway, if nothing else, Bodies Bodies Bodies is very much a warning that we should all come up with a plan ASAP for what to do if any of our friends suddenly winds up inexplicably dead.

Bodies Bodies Bodies is Recommended If You Like: Unfriended, Scream, Ready or Not

Grade: 4 out of 5 Machetes