‘The Beta Test’ Earns an Alpha Grade

November 3, 2021

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The Beta Test (CREDIT: IFC Films)

Starring: Jim Cummings, Virginia Newcomb, PJ McCabe, Jessie Barr, Jacqueline Doke, Wilky Lau

Director: Jim Cummings

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (But It Would be R for Spiraling Profanity and Blindfolded Sex)

Release Date: November 5, 2021 (Theaters)

When I sat down to watch The Beta Test, I initially thought that I had walked into the wrong room. What the heck was this Swedish domestic drama doing on the screen? Wasn’t I supposed to be watching an American satire about Hollywood wheeling-and-dealing? But then, sure enough, the words “The Beta Test” showed up on screen and the opening credits started unspooling in the English language. But then I had another worry, as this whole affair quickly began to feel a little too inside baseball.

Jim Cummings stars (and also co-wrote and co-directed alongside co-star PJ McCabe) as high-strung Hollywood agent Jordan, who’s dealing with a looming wedding right when a mysterious purple envelope pops into his mailbox inviting him to an anonymous sexual adventure. Could something so squarely set within the showbiz industry play anywhere outside Southern California? I’m here to say that it can, as long as you’re in the mood for a darkly comedic horror tale about data collection and personal facades slipping away.

Now is the time when I pose the question: would I myself like to take The Beta Test? I’m certainly tempted by the lustiest moments, and those purple envelopes are rather alluring. But the consequences are also unavoidably clear, as each instance of the test involves infidelity that pretty much inevitably leads to a deadly lovers’ quarrel. I’m single, though, so I theoretically wouldn’t have to worry about that. But the parameters of The Beta Test are set up so that only people in relationships are targeted. So, if I were in a relationship, I would promise The Beta Test that I would be completely honest with my partner, no matter what decision I make.

There’s a strong suggestion within the movie that honesty is the best policy, as Jordan gets himself into heaps of trouble but ultimately finds his way back, or discovers a new way forward, by essentially vomiting up the contents of his soul during the climax. Couple that with some subtle hints that seem to suggest that his fiance Caroline (Virginia Newcomb of The Death of Dick Long fame) might also be somehow involved in The Beta Test, thus giving off this surreal sense that maybe everyone on screen is ensnared in one way or another.

So perhaps we’re all a part of this game anyway. This movie hinges on the seemingly limitless possibilities presented by data collection. In the social media era, so much information about ourselves is publicly available, and The Beta Test posits that with just a few clicks, a whole parade of suckers can be lured into a dangerous Eyes Wide Shut-style game. When this premise is explained within the movie, it’s certainly based on a foundation of reality, though you might confidently respond, “But at least it’s not really that bad.” The thing is, though … what if it is? What if The Beta Test really is playing out right under our noses? In the wake of watching this movie, I’m finding myself in a push-pull between “no, that’s not possible” and “actually, it might be very possible.” That’s the sort of pendulum where unforgettable movies like this one get stuck in your cerebrum for a good long while.

The Beta Test is Recommended If You Like: Deleting your Facebook account, Jokes about absurd cinematic reboots, Enigmatic flashbacks

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Purple Envelopes

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Christopher Robin’ And a Silly Old Bear Remind Us of the Importance of Family

August 3, 2018

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CREDIT: Laurie Sparham/Disney

This review was originally published on News Cult in August 2018.

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Bronte Carmichael, Mark Gatiss, Jim Cummings, Brad Garrett, Nick Mohammed, Peter Capaldi, Sophie Okonedo, Sara Sheen, Toby Jones

Director: Marc Forster

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Bumpy Rides on Trains and the Streets of London

Release Date: August 3, 2018

One reason the Winnie the Pooh stories have endured, particularly in cartoon form, is because of their commitment to the intense, occasionally overwhelming, wonders of the imagination. Ostensibly, the original fount of this imagination is Christopher Robin, whose stuffed animals have sprung to life in the Hundred Acre Wood. Christopher Robin the movie, starring Ewan McGregor as the grown-up title character, initially presents itself as being about the importance of retaining your inner child, as Pooh, Piglet, and the rest of the gang return unexpectedly after decades to visit their old friend. But along the way, Marc Forster’s film is powered along by the lessons of treating employees fairly so memorably espoused way back when (and year after year) in It’s a Wonderful Life. The businessmen of Christopher Robin are not quite as warped and frustrated as Mr. Potter, but they prevent people from properly enjoying their time with their spouses, children, and stuffies, and that cannot be abided.

The major conflict is that Christopher is unable to spend a weekend in the countryside with his wife Evelyn (Hayley Atwell) and daughter Madeline (Bronte Carmichael) because of work commitments. Far from a workaholic who has forgotten how to have fun, he is instead a businessman who is constantly stressed out by the demands of his bosses and his commitment to do what is asked of him. As the efficiency expert at Wilson Luggages, he is tasked with finding the most cost-effective way to lay off staff, and he must have his presentation ready by a Monday morning meeting. He gets to work fulfilling this heartbreaking task, resigned to being stuck in a rigged system. Then Pooh Bear shows up, and through a series of mishaps, Christopher is able to see this problem anew with fresh eyes and discover a way for decent, hardworking people to keep their jobs AND have paid vacation time while still retaining efficiency.

The presence of talking stuffed animals could be played to make Christopher Robin appear insane to the rest of the world, but the Hundred Acre Wood gang is too un-self-conscious to hide their true selves to anyone. Thus, Pooh’s presence is disarming to all his human friends, acquaintances, and audience. His propensity for simple wisdom in the vein of Zen aphorisms is on full display, as he remarks, “it’s usually today” when Christopher Robin screams out, “It’s tomorrow!” and later declares that today is in fact his favorite day. We all can benefit greatly from leaving room for Pooh in our hearts. When life feels like it is just making our floors sticky and breaking our glassware, we just need to take that as an opportunity to assess the situation differently and realize what is really important.

Christopher Robin is Recommended If You Like: It’s a Wonderful Life, Winnie the Pooh cartoons, Making time to vacation with your loved ones

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Honeypots