Murder is a Legitimate Love Language in the Romantic Gorefest ‘Heart Eyes’

February 5, 2025

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , 1 Comment

This is what happens when Eyes are Hearts (CREDIT: Christopher Moss/Spyglass Media Group)

Starring: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster, Michaela Watkins

Director: Josh Ruben

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Messes Not Limited to Disembowelment and Beheading

Release Date: February 7, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A masked serial killer has been targeting couples in major American cities the past few St. Valentine’s Days. His (Her? Their?) ocular organs are covered by a classic symbol, so they call this villain – what else! – the Heart Eyes Killer. Meanwhile, a busy young lady named Ally (Olivia Holt) doesn’t need to worry about any of that, as she and her longtime boyfriend recently ended things. Alas, she does have to worry about her vulnerable emotional state and the fact that she might lose her advertising job after a major blunder. That’s when she meets Jay (Mason Gooding), a sexy superstar consultant who she gets paired up with for a major campaign. When circumstances force them to pretend to be an item, it catches the attention of Heart Eyes, who picks up on some serious electricity flying through the air. Could this be just the sort of stressful ordeal that Ally needs to forge an unkillable bond?

What Made an Impression?: It Feels Like That Sometimes, Doesn’t It?: Heart Eyes is being promoted primarily as a slasher, but this genre mashup more closely follows the beats and resolution of a classic rom-com. After all, sometimes the pressure of desperately seeking the right mate is akin to being stalked by a merciless murderer. The metaphor is unmistakable, and mostly welcome. Director Josh Ruben has mixed laughs and scares before in the likes of Werewolves Within and Scare Me. But the tone is actually most similar to the Happy Death Day series, which makes sense when you realize that one of the three credited screenwriters is HDD director Christopher Landon. Heart Eyes perhaps drifts a bit too far into cloudcuckooland, where just about everyone is a bit too blasé about the probability of having their guts ripped out, but the exaggeration certainly matches Ally’s heightened emotions.
A Different Kind of Laughter: Bookending the mayhem is a wonderfully silly workplace comedy boldly featuring Michaela Watkins as Ally’s boss. She sports a white streak in her hair like Rogue from X-Men and an accent as thick as the New Orleans bayou (even though the movie is set in Seattle). This is far from the first time that an eminently reliable funny person like Watkins has killed it in a supporting horror role. But this is a unique example insofar as she’s providing comedic relief to the other comic relief – and both flavors are pretty funny. An expected treat hidden within the overall feast is certainly one way to keep the passion alive.

Heart Eyes is Recommended If You Like: Man Seeking Woman, Screwball rom-coms, Scream, Shamelessly imitating Scream

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Cupids

‘Scare Me’ Just Lets a Couple of Horror Writers Improvise Some Spooky Stories at Each Other

September 28, 2020

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , 1 Comment

Scare Me (CREDIT: Shudder)

Starring: Aya Cash, Josh Ruben, Chris Redd, Rebecca Drysdale

Director: Josh Ruben

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (with R-Level Language)

Release Date: October 1, 2020 (Shudder)

The power is out, and you’re stuck in a secluded cabin in the dead of winter! What would you do if this happened to you? Well, if you’re one of the two main characters in Scare Me, you would ride out the night with each other and attempt to respond to the titular command with some real good creepy stories. Gathering around the fire for that purpose is a tradition that can be quite fun, but does it work when you make an entire movie about that? That is the challenge that writer/director/star Josh Ruben has set for himself. He certainly made a smart decision to cast Aya Cash opposite himself, because she just bites into everything, matching his nasty energy tit-for-tat. It’s a good thing that the performances are as demented as they are, because this movie can be quite claustrophobic to a fault.

When a movie is about people telling stories, my instinct is that it would be best to cut away to those stories as they’re being narrated. If that doesn’t happen, then it puts a LOT of pressure on the actors. Even if they rise to the occasion, I’m still inclined to wonder what it would be like if their tales got spruced up with a whole new set design or a switch to another medium. For example, it’s always fun when animation butts into live action, after all. But that’s not the type of movie that Ruben has made. Instead, he wanted to really up our anxiety levels while we hunker down with frustrated novelist Fred (Ruben) and successful novelist Fanny (Cash). I was happy to go along for the ride, but too often I felt like my patience was being tested.

While we don’t see too much of the spooky imagination transformed into visual whimsy, there is nevertheless plenty of imagination on display, as werewolves, a creepy grandpa, and a dead dog all make appearances in the stories. One yarn is even referred to as “A Star is Born, but Satan,” which certainly makes me respond, “Tell me more!” On top of all that, Cash keeps throwing her voice in a way that makes me wonder if it’s being distorted in post. At one point Chris Redd pops in as a pizza delivery guy who then joins in on the storytelling. (Oh, to be a pizza guy who can just hang around like that while on the clock!)

There’s a lingering sense of resentment on Fred’s part towards Fanny that fuels much of the night. Beyond being not very likable, though, it’s hard to get a clear read on him. Is he a misogynist, or just going through a rough time? Is he a practical joker, or a psychopath? Or is he just bored with life? How does it make sense that all of these options seem like legitimate possibilities? I’m not sure what the answer to that question is. But what I can say with confidence is, if you’re stuck at home with nothing else to do, telling each other scary stories is a fine idea. But if you’re going to make an entire movie about that, you probably ought to bust out the bells and whistles.

Scare Me is Recommended If You Like: Being stuck with grody energy

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Power Outages