All I Want for Christmas is for More People to See ‘The Order’

December 14, 2024

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Order up! (CREDIT: Vertical/Screenshot)

Starring: Jude Law, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Jurnee Smollett, Alison Oliver, Marc Maron, Odessa Young

Director: Justin Kurzel

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 6, 2024 (Theaters)

The Order came out in theaters on the first weekend of December, aka the dumping ground between the mega-blockbusters of Thanksgiving and the mega-blockbusters of Christmas. So it probably won’t be on the big screen for much longer! But if you’re in the mood for a bleak, based-on-a-true-story crime thriller as the mercury plummets and the wind starts whipping, then you may just want to check out Jude Law as a weary FBI agent hunting down Nicholas Hoult as an ambitious white supremacist terrorist. (Marc Maron also pops up as an outspoken radio host!) It’s a worthwhile watch if you want to reckon with the most portentous corners of society.

To sum it all up, I’d like to paraphrase my own headline: all I want for Christmas is for the world to be cured of neo-Nazism.

Grade: 4.5 Attempts to Contain the Disorder out of 6 Kids Birthday Parties

This Is a Movie Review: Assassin’s Creed

January 1, 2017

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assassins-creed-movie

In Assassin’s Creed the Movie, Marion Cotillard sends Michael Fassbender into the past by having him inhabit an ancestor of his. In premise and execution, it’s a lot like Wolverine being transported to his younger self in X-Men: Days of Future Past. So watching this movie gives me a sense of “Been there, done that” but also “This can be done well.” Also encouraging: the intricacies implied by the secret societies and the prison-like facility that is supposedly not really a prison. There are some sci-fi mystery concepts worth exploring here.

Unfortunately about halfway through, Assassin’s Creed confirms that it will not buck the trend of unimpressive video game adaptations. Plot developments, pieces of mythology, and new characters are introduced with little, if any, explanation. I suppose if you play the games you might have some semblance of understanding, but I have my doubts that such comprehension would actually improve anything.

I give Assassin’s Creed 200 “Why Are They in This’s?” out of 500 Shadowy Figures.