I’ve Heard of the Wolf Man, But the Last Showgirl?

January 20, 2025

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Couple Goals? (CREDIT: Roadside Attractions; Nicola Dove/Universal Pictures)

Wolf Man

Starring: Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger

Director: Leigh Whannell

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 17, 2025 (Theaters)

The Last Showgirl

Starring: Pamela Anderson, Dave Bautista, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kiernan Shipka, Brenda Song, Billie Lourd, Jason Schwartzman

Director: Gia Coppola

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 13, 2024 (Oscar Qualifying)/January 10, 2025 (Wide Theaters)

What’s going on, movie freaks?!😛Well, I’ll tell you what’s up with me: I saw a couple of movies this past weekend that most people probably don’t associate with each other, beyond the fact that they’re both currently playing in theaters. Interestingly enough, they also both feature (opposite) gendered language in their titles.

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‘Red One’ Keeps It Icy for Christmas

November 14, 2024

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Oh, by the way, which one’s Red? (CREDIT: Amazon MGM Studios)

Starring: Chris Evans, Dwayne Johnson, Lucy Liu, J.K. Simmons, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt, Reinaldo Faberlle, Kristofer Hivju, Nick Kroll, Wesley Kimmel, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Marc Evan Jackson

Director: Jake Kasdan

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Combat Between Humans, “Elves,” Talking Polar Bears, and Krampus

Release Date: November 15, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) has been a devoted cynic ever since he figured out before all the other kids that Santa Claus was a myth. So it was only natural that he would grow up to be a mercenary hacker and a deadbeat dad. So imagine his surprise when head of North Pole security Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) shows up at his home and informs Jack that his shenanigans are partly responsible for the kidnapping of Saint Nick (J.K. Simmons) himself. This being a Christmas movie and all, mythological holiday creatures are very real, and Callum and his colleagues are responsible for making sure that naughty listers like Jack don’t screw things up. Trouble is, Callum is contemplating retirement as the naughty list threatens to grow longer than the nice list, perhaps eternally. So you know, multiple characters in Red One are in a position to rediscover the Christmas spirit.

What Made an Impression?: Santa, Santa Claus, Where Are You?: Just because Santa Claus is kidnapped, that doesn’t matter that he has to be a minor character in his own movie. But alas, Red One makes the puzzling decision to keep J.K. Simmons stowed away for the vast majority of its running time. His captor is a shapeshifting ogre played by Kiernan Shipka – surely they could have thrown an hour’s worth of zingers back at each other! And honestly this is one of the more interesting cinematic Santas I’ve seen in quite a while: basically a jacked zaddy who pumps iron to refill all the calories he burns on Christmas Eve. The Christmas cheer in Red One is fairly generic, but there’s no need to convince anyone that this St. Nick is worth saving.
A Little Bit of This, Some of That Guy, Then We Go Home: Red One left me feeling a little blue, or maybe even gray, but it wasn’t for lack of effort or ideas. There’s a bit about how toy stores are portals for North Pole workers, Nick Kroll shows up as a shady middleman for the Christmas baddies, and there’s some grounded interplay between Jack and his ex (Mary Elizabeth Ellis). It’s all pleasant enough to serve as background entertainment as you make your way through your Advent calendar, though it lacks the pizzazz to inspire the same yuletide rediscovery that Jack and Callum are destined for. Although, if somebody posts a series of behind-the-scenes videos of J.K. Simmons Claus pumping even more iron, then perhaps it will have all been worth it.

Red One is Recommended If You Like: A movie that seems like it should be going straight to Netflix ending up on the big screen

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Bench Presses

‘Twisters’ Indeed Has Plenty of Twisters, But What Does It Do with Them?

July 17, 2024

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(from left) Kate (Daisy Edgar-Jones), Javi (Anthony Ramos) and Tyler (Glen Powell) in Twisters, directed by Lee Isaac Chung.

Starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, Brandon Perea, Maura Tierney, Harry Hadden-Patton, Sasha Lane, Daryl McCormack, Kiernan Shipka, Nik Dodani, David Corenswet, Tunde Adebimpe, Katy O’Brian

Director: Lee Isaac Chung

Running Time: 122 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Windborne Injuries

Release Date: July 19, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Twisters, the legacyquel to 1996’s Twister, is the movie that dares to ask the question: what if there were MORE than one tornado? Honestly, though, wasn’t there already more than one in the first edition? Maybe I’m misremembering, but I’m pretty sure that tornadoes are generally not something that happens in total isolation. Regardless, Twisters is basically positing a once-in-a-generation confluence of as many tornadoes as have ever been observed. Hot on their tail are meteorologist Kate Cooper (Daisy Edgar-Jones), her storm chasing colleague Javi (Anthony Ramos), and peacocking YouTube storm chaser Tyler Owens (Glen Powell). Along the way, there might just be some romance, and maybe even a bit of humanitarian aid.

What Made an Impression?: You’ve Climate Changed, Man: After a bravura opening sequence that ends with the loss of a few of Kate and Javi’s fellow chasers, the fallout cuts ahead five years, with Kate working an office job in New York City and Javi tracking her down for a new and exciting opportunity. These moments have a vibe that suggest that they’re outside of harm’s way in the city, but anyone who’s lived in the mid-Atlantic U.S. in the past few years is all too aware of how tornado territory has been expanding more and more lately. Any ecological disaster movie can easily be read as a warning about climate change, but Twisters doesn’t have to take it to extremes. The storms may be deadly, but they’re too believable to feel like a roller coaster. With that in mind, this is more like a speculative documentary than a work of fiction.
Don’t Forget the People: Is Twisters ashamed of itself? Or is it just feeling a little guilty? That’s the sense I gather from scenes of the chasers offering food and water to the people who have been in harm’s way in the paths of the tornadoes. I don’t think it would have been irresponsible to leave these moments out, but Joseph Kosinski’s script apparently disagrees. Maybe it could have gone even further and transformed the entire movie into a Tornado Relief Telethon halfway through. That certainly would have been more predictable than what we got, which is competent, but also kind of quotidian.

Twisters is Recommended If You Like: Finding a soul beneath the YEEHAW!

Grade: 3 out of 5 Forecasts

‘Longlegs’ Finds the Devil Inside

July 11, 2024

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TFW you see Longlegs (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Maika Monroe, Nicolas Cage, Blair Underwood, Alicia Witt, Lauren Acala, Michelle Choi-Lee, Dakota Daulby, Kiernan Shipka, Maila Hosie, Jason Day, Lisa Chandler, Ava Kelders, Rryla McIntosh, Carmel Amit, Peter James Bryant

Director: Osgood Perkins

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for Psychologically Disturbing Violence and Gore

Release Date: July 12, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s a serial killer out there confounding the FBI in the mid-90s. Known as “Longlegs” (Nicolas Cage), he appears to be responsible for a series of gruesome massacres in the last 20 years without ever actually being physically present for any of them. But the pattern is undeniable, as fathers are brainwashed into brutally killing themselves and their families within six days of their daughters’ birthdays. Also, creepy lifelike dolls keep appearing at the crime scenes. But a breakthrough emerges via the efforts of young agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe), who is really, really intuitive, or maybe even a little bit psychic. Her investigation is occasionally interrupted by cryptic phone calls from her mother Ruth (Alicia Witt). It looks like Longlegs is going to strike again very soon, and the key to stopping him may just be Lee understanding the deep connection that she has with this boogeyman.

What Made an Impression?: Caught in a Haze: The reality of Longlegs exists somewhere between the earthbound and the mystical. Occasionally there appear to be rational explanations for all the deviant behavior on display, but a more compelling explanation is that the devil is behind it all. Accordingly, Monroe, Cage, and Witt all offer performances that are different versions of possessed. Blair Underwood (as Lee’s FBI mentor) offers a more straitlaced grounding presence, but even he can’t resist the lure of the surreal eventually. Little details (a dark object here, a puff of smoke there) pop up that promise to be the skeleton key to revealing the truth, only to be flummoxed by profound uncertainty. The crimes are solved, and yet an infinite number of questions remain.
Pack Up That Gong: It’s possible that Longlegs could be read as a metaphor for repressed trauma, and I’m sure there’s something to that reading. But this is a movie that resists any straightforward interpretation, despite the easy-to-follow plot and clear resolution. However, what I can say without any doubt is that you will never listen to T. Rex’s glam rock classic “Bang a Gong (Get It On)” the same way ever again. In fact, I suspect that Longlegs may have somehow henceforth assumed ownership of that entire genre. If you’re planning on seeing this movie even though you love that song – or others like it – then consider this your first and only warning.

Longlegs is Recommended If You Like: The Silence of the Lambs, Prisoners, Using presidential portraits to establish the time period

Grade: 4 out of 5 Dolls