How to Navigate ‘Splitsville’ and ‘The Threesome’

September 11, 2025

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Which of them will end up Split? All Three? (CREDIT: NEON; Vertical/Screenshot)

Splitsville

Starring: Kyle Marvin, Michael Angelo Covino, Dakota Johnson, Adria Arjona, Simon Webster

Director: Michael Angelo Covino

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 22, 2025 (Theaters)

The Threesome

Starring: Jonah Hauer-King, Zoey Deutch, Ruby Cruz, Jaboukie Young-White, Josh Segarra, Kristin Slaysman, Allan McLeod, Julia Sweeney, Arden Myrin, Robert Longstreet

Director: Chad Hartigan

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 5, 2025 (Theaters)

Whoa, why are relationships getting so tangled and messy at the cinema lately? In the span of just two days, I saw Splitsville and The Threesome, which both had me frequently going, “Now see, are you sure you want to do that?” So I’ll go ahead and turn that question back around to myself and ask if I would like to try on any of these dynamics, perhaps just for the heck of it.

First up, I’ll check in to Splitsville (which I’m writing about before seeing The Threesome, which may or may not matter), in which this lady named Ashley (Adria Arjona) tells her husband Carey (Kyle Marvin) that she wants a divorce. That leads Carey to seek comfort in the ostensibly warm embrace of his friends Paul (Michael Angelo Covino) and Julie (Dakota Johnson), who it turns out have an open relationship. So Carey and Julie hook up, but Paul isn’t exactly okay with that. Meanwhile, Carey and Ashley eventually decide to try remaining married while opening up their relationship as well. Soon enough, Carey is falling in love with Julie, Ashley is falling back in love with Carey, and Paul and Ashley are teaming up to make their exes-who-are-still-their-spouses jealous. So, uh… yeah, I’m glad I wasn’t fully ensconced within this entire misadventure. If I’m ever part of an open relationship, I’m going to push for us to all sign a contract beforehand. But you know, like a sexy contract.

As for The Threesome, the messiness is baked right into the premise: three people enter a sexual encounter, two pregnancies emerge. At least compared to Splitsville, there’s one less person to keep track of in this case. Although of course, that’s not fully true, because plenty of other orbiting folks end up getting involved. Anyway, the dude in this scenario, Connor (Jonah Hauer-King), has stronger romantic feelings for one of the ladies, specifically Zoey Deutch’s Olivia. But he also wants to do right by their new intimate friend, Ruby Cruz’s Jenny. There are plenty of missteps along the way, but somehow we end on a note of everything turning out more or less okay.

When it comes to comparing and contrasting, the conclusion is: Splitsville is a whole lot messier than promised, whereas The Threesome is just the opposite. Honestly, I wouldn’t hate living through the latter’s scenario, though I wouldn’t exactly seek it out either, except perhaps as a less entangled observer. Connor’s friend Greg (Jaboukie Young-White) and his mom Suzanne (Julia Sweeney) definitely have fun in that role without getting hit by too much crossfire. So yeah, I wouldn’t mind lending a sympathetic ear.

Grades:
Splitsville: I Can Only Split So Much Before I Break
The Threesome: 3.5 out of 5 Threes

‘Bottoms’ is a Queer, Bloody, and Fantastical Journey Through High School

August 24, 2023

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Bottoms on top? (CREDIT: ORION Pictures)

Starring: Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri, Havana Rose Liu, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Galitzine, Dagmara Domińczyk, Marshawn Lynch, Ruby Cruz

Director: Emma Seligman

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Fair Bit of Sexuality and Some Absurd Violence

Release Date: August 25, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s no way around it: PJ (Rachel Sennott) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri) are the outcasts of all outcasts at Huntington High School. You might call them bottoms even. (The title of their movie certainly does.) They’re both gay, but that’s not the problem. Their classmates are pretty enlightened when it comes to sexual orientation, but they’re a little less so when it comes to people who are untalented and don’t care much about football. So PJ and Josie try to reverse their fortunes by starting a fight club/self-defense class/feminine support group as a front to hook up with the hottest girls in school. Will their secret be found out? Or will everyone else be more focused on the looming big game with the rival school?

What Made an Impression?: The Point is Beside the Point: The queerness that’s central to Bottoms‘ premise is always front and center, but it’s not the most fundamental aspect. At its core, this is a story about acceptance. Josie and PJ could just as easily be scheming on a plot to land some platonic friends, and you would hardly have to change any aspect of the script to make that happen. That’s a win for both representation and storytelling. This is a movie that is perfectly comfortable being matter-of-fact and upfront about its identity and then simply moving on to the rest of the good stuff.
Queer in Other Ways: Of course, there’s another definition of “queer” besides the LGBTQ+ sense. It’s a synonym for “weird” and “bizarre,” or even “outlandish.” And let’s be clear: Bottoms is strange-queer even more than it is gay-queer. If you get a bunch of funny people together, of course things are going to be off-kilter. But if you were expecting a somewhat realistic depiction of the high school experience, then you need to reset your expectations ASAP. This is a romp that is campy, gratuitous, and absurd aplenty. Every character feels like a facsimile of a human being, rather than an actual person, and the rules of life are accordingly askew.
Seriously, I Don’t Know What the Hell I Just Watched: I’m hesitant to recommend Bottoms with my full soul, because while I admire its bravado, I could never quite figure out its base reality. Random and outlandish behavior is the status quo, so I found myself thinking “OMG WTF” much more often than I was cracking up. That’s a better state of mind than nothing at all, but not as pleasurable as possible. If you want to get kooky, Bottoms has plenty of kooky. And maybe it’s just best not to ask why.

Bottoms is Recommended If You Like: Heathers, Assassination Nation, MacGruber, Cocaine Bear, The fight scenes from Anchorman and Anchorman 2

Grade: 3 out of 5 Golden Ferrets