Treat Your ‘Companion’ Right

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The Face of Companionship (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Jack Quaid, Lukas Gage, Megan Suri, Harvey Guillén, Rupert Friend

Director: Drew Hancock

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 31, 2025 (Theaters)

We all need a companion (or several), but what if our real-life companions were like the companions in the 2025 movie Companion? Alternatively, what if we were the companions? I suspect the world would have a lot more empathy if everybody had to spend at least a year working a companion job. (I’m playing a little coy in this review in an effort to avoid spoilers.) Anyway, now that I’ve seen Companion, I promise to follow best practices in how I treat my companions. I hope I was doing this adequately already, but now I’ll make sure to audit myself.

Grade: 12 Mods out of 15 Warranties

‘Heretic’ Review: Hugh Grant Wants to Play a Game

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Pie! Pie! Pie! (CREDIT: Kimberly French/A24)

Starring: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East, Topher Grace, Elle Young

Directors: Scott Beck and Bryan Woods

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Climatically Bloody Moments

Release Date: November 8, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Not since Elders Price and Cunningham have there been Mormon missionaries more excited to spread the message of the Church of  Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints than Sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East). While knocking on doors one fateful evening, they end up at the residence of Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), who invites them in with promises of blueberry pie and enthusiastic conversation. But soon enough, the young ladies notice warning signs that he might have more sadistic intentions in mind. When they attempt to leave, he assures them that they’re perfectly allowed to do so, but it must be through the back door. Alas, actually getting there involves completing a maze/thought experiment of his devising.

What Made an Impression?: A Flurry of Metaphors: If you’ve always wanted a horror movie that could teach you the history of one of the most popular board games of all time, well then, Heretic has you covered. You see, Mr. Reed is a student of all the world’s religions, and he’s noticed that the history of the major monotheistic faiths is strikingly similar to that of a certain real estate competition. If classic Christianity is Monopoly, then Judaism is its lesser-known forerunner The Landlord’s Game, while Islam is the game for a new era, and Mormonism and all the other more recent offshoots are the wacky spinoffs. It makes a lot of intoxicating sense when Mr. Reed explains. He has a way of summing up this entirely Earthly existence with tidily convincing metaphors. While he has an advisable mix of healthy skepticism and genuine interest when it comes to matters of faith, his intellectual self-assurance is bedeviling.
Not So Naive: Mr. Reed has designed his test so meticulously that Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton are really no match for him. Or so it might seem. As it turns out, they’re nowhere near as clueless as you might expect twentysomethings who grew up in a deeply religious community to be. Thatcher plays Sister Barnes as battle-hardened and a stiff judge of character. Meanwhile, East is an outgoing bundle of friendliness as Sister Paxton, but she knows how the world works. The movie even starts with her talking about a deep philosophical revelation that came to her from watching porn. If anyone could muck up Mr. Reed’s plans and challenge him in ways that are just the least bit unexpected, it’s these two.
How Do You Play the Game?: I can’t endorse Mr. Reed’s methods, but his lesson plans and instinct for metaphor are quite useful. As he points out at one point, either we’re living in a universe run by a god who allows cruel, awful things to happen, and that’s terrifying; or, we live in a godless, totally random universe, and that’s also terrifying. He’s far from the first person to say something like that, but not many others have redesigned their whole house to make this point viscerally clear. Entering Mr. Reed’s domain is a microcosmic confrontation of the existential dilemma that perhaps all human beings grapple with at some point in their lives. Maybe Heretic will help you come up with a satisfying answer for why it’s worth it to keep on keeping on, or maybe it will leave you more racked with doubt than ever. But either way, you’re unlikely to ever forget it.

Heretic is Recommended If You Like: Theology lectures, Saw, Fresh baked goods

Grade: 4 out of 5 Doors

‘MaXXXine’ Underscores the Killer Pastiche with Surprising Vulnerability

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Blinded by the starpower (CREDIT: Justin Lubin/A24)

Starring: Mia Goth, Kevin Bacon, Giancarlo Esposito, Elizabeth Debicki, Moses Sumney, Michelle Monaghan, Bobby Cannavale, Halsey, Lily Collins, Sophie Thatcher, Ned Vaughn, Chloe Farnworth, Simon Prast

Director: Ti West

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: R for Extravagant Gore, A Fair Amount of T&A, and Some Hits of Blow

Release Date: July 5, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Maxine Minx (Mia Goth) will simply never, never, never, never, never, never, EVER accept a life that she doesn’t deserve. It’s a lesson that her father instilled deep into her psyche from a very young age. Cut ahead to 1985, when she’s now one of the biggest names in adult entertainment, but anxious to cross over into mainstream cinema. Her talent is undeniable, especially to the casting team of “The Puritan II.” It’s a schlocky demonsploitation horror sequel, but the director (Elizabeth Debicki) is trying to make an artistic statement, and she sees a kindred spirit in Maxine. Everything she’s dreamed of looks like it’s about to come true, but a mysterious figure who knows her backstory as the lone survivor of a bloody massacre six years earlier threatens to derail everything by killing the people closest to her.

What Made an Impression?: It’s the 80s, Do A Lot of Coke And…: MaXXXine is the satisfying culmination of writer-director Ti West’s bloody little trilogy starring Mia Goth that began in 2022 with X and Pearl. While the former captured the early slasher era of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the latter adopted a sheen of Old Hollywood melodrama but with just as much gore. MaXXXine expands its slasher trappings by taking inspiration from the exploitative thrillers of Brian De Palma, while also situating itself amidst the Satanic Panic of the Day Glo decade. The soundtrack blasts classics of the era from the likes of Animotion and Frankie Goes to Hollywood, while also boogieing unexpectedly hard with an opening credits sequence set to ZZ Top’s “Gimme All Your Lovin’.” And the pastiche is more than surface-level. Indeed, it’s engagingly lived-in, with conversations that are both of the moment and eternal representations of the characters’ deepest desires.
Plenty of Scenery to Chew: Mia Goth pulled double duty in X, but she’s been able to flex her acting muscles a lot more in the solo spotlights of those two characters. Pearl wasn’t quite a one-woman show, but the inimitable titular farm girl was pretty detached from the rest of humanity. Maxine Minx, meanwhile, is just as fiercely independent, and Goth once again delivers a transcendent degree of steely resolve. But this time around, even though she may be reluctant to admit it, Maxine has people that she cares about and who care about her. And accordingly, this is quite the ensemble piece, with West giving his players plenty of space to find notes that they’ve never reached before. That’s especially true of Kevin Bacon as a private investigator tracking Maxine who’s saturated in the molasses of the New Orleans bayou. His performance absolutely gives a whole new meaning to the phrase”I smell bacon.”
A Cautionary Tale?: Without getting into too many spoiler-y specifics, I’ll tease that Maxine kind of does achieve exactly what she’s driving towards. But I hesitate to call it a happy ending. Nor would I call it a pseudo-happy ending. It’s complicated. Yeah, she gets the star-making gig, but she also has a cocaine habit that I don’t think she has under control. And while the future looks bright for her, I’m worried that her obsession with fame will leave her empty. But we do get enough moments of vulnerability to suggest that Maxine realizes she’s never quite fully allowed herself to just be a human. It’s been a great joy to watch her story unfold these past couple years, but I’m ready to simply hope that she can find some peace after escaping all the horror that wouldn’t let her go.

MaXXXine is Recommended If You Like: Video nasties, Escaping and confronting the past, Righteous defiance

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Star Turns

Is It Time to Boogie on Down to See ‘The Boogeyman’?

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I had a Bogey, man. (CREDIT: 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)

Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu, LisaGay Hamilton

Director: Rob Savage

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 2, 2023 (Theaters)

Honestly? I would’ve preferred a full-length version of The Boogerman.

Grade: They Took a Little Boogie Out of It