Looks like you on the phone with Ice-T.

Cold Opening – Wayne’s World
The great thing about Wayne’s World sketches and the reason why there has never been a bad one is because they always mix up the comedy styles.  This reprise was no different, making use of the ever-popular sniggering pun (“Winter’s Bone”), witty babe-ogling (“I’d make a Mila out of her Kunis”), and Abbott and Costello-style shtick (“Who’s on Firth?”) B+

Dana Carvey’s Monologue
Dana appeared to be going for goofy-sounding singing, so we don’t know if he could pull out a legit singing voice, but he didn’t need to.  Goofy, but rhythmic, singing is generally successfully but, oddly, it is rarely seen these days, at least on SNL.  That being said, the song itself wasn’t overly noteworthy.  It’s always good when something else is going on around the song, so here we had Dana not knowing the cast members’ names.  Calling Bill “Rainn Wilson” was funny in that it almost made sense.  And you can never go wrong with Lovitz yelling, “ACTING!” B

I-Sleep Pro
The black noise sleep aid commercial makes a return appearance, getting upgraded from the the last sketch of the night to the post-monologue slot in the process. B+

Church Chat
Back in the late eighties and throughout the nineties, there were several recurring sketches, Church Chat among them, that could get away with doing the same thing each time.  It worked because those sketches were like free-form jazz pieces.  Each time the sketch was performed, it was by its nature going to be different.  And there was plenty of time to make it up in case part of the sketch dragged.  This Church Chat was nine minutes long – that it is unheard of on SNL these days.  There were and still are plenty of appropriate characters for Church Lady to interview, so it only made sense for Dana to wip out the wig and the dress again.  The Kardashians were appropriately dismissed as a bunch of nonsense, and Snooki – well, you know, it’s Snooki.  And then Bieber shows up to demonstrate his comedy chops and make those who hate him hate him even more by providing evidence that he is on the joke, thus frustrating the haters’ attempts to hate. B+

VH1 Celebrity Teen Crisis Center
It was nice to again see Alan Alda and Eddie Murphy, two veterans of the Back to the Future screen tests.  I was also pleased as punch to see Dana bringing back his Mickey Rooney, though it didn’t reach the heights of that classic Theatre Stories sketch.  Abby’s Anna Faris was nothing if not spot-on with that throaty hybrid laugh-talk.  But the highlight was no doubt Fred as Ice-T.  I thought he was supposed to be Steven Seagal at first.  Instead, he pulled off that sort of impression with the highest success rate: the ones of recognizable, though not too recognizable celebrities. B+

The Roommate Trailer
Bieber’s music career is a necessary evil, because if it did not exist, there would not be much of a joke in his comedy appearances.  Was Andy playing a relative of Shy Ronnie?  No.  He was playing Sir Ben Kingsley playing a possible relative of Shy Ronnie. B+

Linkin Park perform “Waiting for the End”
I initially thought that “Waiting for the End” was among the bland variety of Linkin Park songs, but it has grown on me, though not to the levels of “What I’ve Done,” “The Catalyst,” or “Bleed It Out.”  And then I hear it live, and I realize that Linkin Park is a great live band no matter what song.  Chester and Mike always sound as good as they do on the record, and the band clearly takes great care to make sure everything sounds how it is supposed to, and that is no mean feat on the SNL stage. B+

Weekend Update
-The Jokes: Looks like Seth is back to his old self. C
-The Segments: -Winners/Losers in Egypt: There was really no need for this to be a separate thing.  There may have been one good joke. C
-James Franco: Paul kind of had Franco’s voice down, but I see no need to fault him in that area since the concept was so great, and quite the accurate deconstruction of Franco.  Nice job sticking through with it for a few extra gags throughout Update. B+
-Meteorologist/Former Disco Queen Angela Dixon: I don’t why anybody thought this was a good idea.  Kristen has been successful with bad material a few times, but I’ve never seen her pull off a bit completely devoid of material. C-

Live with Regis and Kelly
Hey, this sketch used to be performed with two different folks not too long ago.  Dana’s Reege sounds about as good as Darrell Hammond’s did, but he didn’t quite match the wild energy just seething underneath the surface that Darrell pulled off.  Nasim’s nasally voice did her in again – her Kelly Ripa was just as bad as her Barbara Walters.  Luckily, there was some amusement to be had when Kathie Lee showed up. C+

Little Miss Little Girl Pageant
There were some jokes to be found in this concept.  I think.  But nobody seemed too sure of what they were supposed to be doing. C

Deidra Wurtz: Downsizing Expert
Good point.  I liked the part where she pointed it that it is what it is. B+

Linkin Park perform “When They Come for Me”
Linkin Park meets the Blue Man Group?  Not exactly a good idea, but it was certainly memorable. B+

The Fingerlings
“Be big boys and appreciate what we do.” B

This episode began by realizing that it is a wise, and obvious, decision to bring back memorable characters that deserve to be brought back when a former cast member is hosting.  And they were all just as good this time around, despite the fact that in this case, these bits were last seen nearly twenty years ago.  Part of that may be due to the fact that Dana Carvey looks like he has hardly aged, and when he is in character, he doesn’t look like he has aged at all.  Then the show completely derailed into no-man’s land in the second half.  I don’t know what happened.  Lately it’s been the other way around.
Surprisingly enough, Abby Elliott, with bits as Anna Faris and Deidra Wurtz, was the strongest cast member of the episode.  She had the sort of performances that cast members tend to sneak in in one of their earliest episodes, though Abby was a few years late in that regard.  But, whatever, we’ll take it.