Cold Opening – A Message from Mitt Romney
SNL seems to have decided that the main idea of Sudeikis’s Romney is that he is emotionless and doesn’t know how to talk like a normal person, which isn’t much, but when it leads to lines like “slinging the pigskin around” and “my five human sons,” then it is something, at least. B

Daniel Radcliffe’s Monologue
This wasn’t so much comedy (i.e., joke-telling) as much as it was an expression of a philosophy.  Dan brought up some reasonable points, even though we all knew he was just jerking us around a little bit.  Still, it was a good idea to temper expectations. B

Ricky Gervais
Ricky Gervais makes fun of celebrities because they are a group of people who perhaps ought to be taken down a notch.  It’s not like dogs and flowers have that in common with celebrities.  Hiring Ricky to make fun of those groups would just be pointless, and this sketch had a corresponding lack of spirit. C

Target Greatland
I thought the Target Lady must have been retired.  I know Kristen said in at least one interview that she does that with some of her recurring characters.  Dan must have requested that it be brought back.  Anyway, Bill, Dan, and Kenan were all really into their roles, and with the sexual harassment adding an extra element, this was much more interesting than the average Target Greatland sketch. B-

You Can Do Anything
There was plenty said in this sketch that needs to be said to the children of this generation, but the guests already seemed to be aware of all the lessons that the hosts had to proffer.  So, despite such anti-profound phrases as “You’re so self-promotional” and “Twitter famous,” this sketch was caught between unnecessarily cruel and toothless. C+

Spin the Bottle
He kissed a bunch of hobos.  Yikes, I guess.  Or, whatever. C

Delaware Fellas
Kenan’s (purposely) terrible Italian-American accent was the best part of this sketch.  Think about that: Kenan Thompson’s BAD accent was far and away the best part of a sketch. C+

Hogwarts 2020
This sketch didn’t make much sense, considering that the final Harry Potter book and movie both had an epilogue.  But it didn’t really have to make sense.  It was a little jarring, though, especially since Dan was playing Harry and most viewers are probably familiar with the real epilogues.  Dan was just a bit too eager to make fun of the role that made him famous.  That Luna Lovegood impression was surprisingly specific and spot-on. B-

Lana Del Rey performs “Video Games”
After hearing “Video Games” and “Born to Die” for the first times, I was instantly a Lana Del Rey fan, and hopeful for her chances for success.  So, I was all ready to admit that her SNL performance of “Video Games” was not that good, but I was going to surmise that nerves could be to blame and explain that this is an odd song and she is an odd singer, so this was always going to be an odd performance.  But after I watched it again, I wasn’t so sure anymore.  Those jarring vocal changes from husky to whiny and back are typical for her, and that blasé swaying did fit the song’s tone of ennui.  So, was this performance meant to be just as strange as it was?  If so, was that a good idea?  I really can’t give a definitive grade at the moment.  But I will give one as a placeholder, and it will have to be something middling. B-

Weekend Update
-The Jokes: Seth was back to his old disappointing self, but not aggressively so.  “5 Second Raul” was a decent pun. C
-The Segments: -Kim Jong Un’s Two Best Friends from Growing Up: I love this whispering shtick that Fred and Vanessa have gotten down pat, but there is only so much they can do without mentioning something more specific about the ruler they are friends with. B-
-Casey Anthony’s Dog: Wow, two Sarah McLachlan dog references in one show.  And I don’t really feel like saying anything else about the umpteenth Update animal costume correspondent. C+

X27B Theater in 2112
The unnatural delivery from the actors was reliably amusing, and the forced laughter from the audience was also a nice touch.  Lines such as “Stop looking at that penis going into a woman’s butt” were jarring, but in a way that fit the tone of the sketch.  The energy and rhythm of the sketch seemed a bit off by the end, though, as the audience’s forced laughter became delayed and more scattered.  Gotta love Nasim the grandmother! B-

Glenda Okones for Mayor
This sketch demonstrated the “Bad Teacher” problem:  If you want to be cruel, go all the way.  And also be unusual. Glenda Okones wasn’t even memorable in attacking herself. C-

Glenda Okones II
I can’t say I liked the decision of only having a commercial break between the first two Glenda Okones bits.  I think the second spot was the best, relatively so, thanks to the mention of having a favorite daughter. C

The Jay Pharoah Show
Jay Pharoah cannot do anything as an interviewer other than show off his own impressions with generally no segue leading into those impressions, which is somewhat more amusing than the fact that Jay, for the most part, hasn’t been able to figure out how to use his impressions in SNL sketches. B-

Glenda Okones III
Is this over yet? C-

Lana Del Rey performs “Blue Jeans”
In some ways, this was a better performance than “Video Games,” but that may just have been because it was easier to understand.  Still, it definitely seemed like Lana did what she was trying to do, and it is therefore easier to say about this performance that it was in fact decent. B

Exit Poll
These questions were an odd bunch, and their laugh-to-no-laugh ratio was solid, though not quite as high as those of the two census interview sketches.  The age group question, especially considering how it was delivered, was the standout question. B

Headz Up
I almost forgot that there was a sketch after the Exit Poll.  Luckily, I had written it down in my notes.  I think that that forgetfulness had more to do with how late it was than the quality of the sketch.  Anyway, this felt like it was thrown together at the last minute; they could have gone even further (i.e., more stupefyingly simple) with the warnings. B-

Overall
Dan Radcliffe was eager to make this a great show, but the material failed him profoundly.  There were some ideas worth making fun of – people thinking they can do anything, attack ads, Jay Pharoah – but the jokes to be had in these concepts for the most part did not show up.  Not every sketch was horrible, and most were at least half-good, but the decent ones just weren’t very exciting, which made it hard to deal with the profound shortcomings.  I’m willing to write this episode off as an aberration for the season, since the whole night just felt so off from the usual proceedings.