Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of July 9, 2016

June 28, 2016

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange that top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. twenty one pilots – “Stressed Out”
4. James Bay – “Let It Go”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Dark Necessities”
7. Disturbed – “The Sound of Silence”
8. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
9. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
10. Ben Rector – “Brand New”
11. The Strumbellas – “Spirits”
12. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
13. blink-182 – “Bored to Death”
14. Bastille – “Good Grief”
15. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
16. Empire of the Sun – “Walking on a Dream”
17. Bishop Briggs – “River”
18. Maggie Rogers – “Alaska”
19. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “The Getaway”
20. The 1975 – “The Sound”
21. Beck – “Wow”
22. Goo Goo Dolls – “So Alive”
23. Panic! at the Disco – “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time”
24. Kongos – “Take It From Me”
25. Mumford & Sons X Baaba Maal – “There Will Be Time”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Walking on a Dream
2. River
3. Take It From Me
4. Way Down We Go
5. Wow
6. The Sound
7. Unsteady
8. Ophelia
9. Ride
10. Dark Necessities
11. Stressed Out
12. Good Grief
13. The Getaway
14. There Will Be Time
15. Heathens
16. Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time
17. So Alive
18. Alaska
19. The Sound of Silence
20. Spirits
21. Hymn for the Weekend
22. HandClap
23. Let It Go
24. Brand New
25. Bored to Death

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of July 9, 2016

June 28, 2016

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Drake ft. WizKid and Kyla – “One Dance”
2. Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”
3. Desiigner – “Panda”
4. The Chainsmokers ft. Daya – “Don’t Let Me Down”
5. Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – “This Is What You Came For”
6. Sia ft. Sean Paul – “Cheap Thrills”
7. Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign – “Work From Home”
8. Rihanna – “Needed Me”
9. Kent Jones – “Don’t Mind”
10. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
11. Mike Posner – “I Took a Pill in Ibiza”
12. P!nk – “Just Like Fire”
13. Lukas Graham – “7 Years”
14. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
15. Ariana Grande – “Dangerous Woman”
16. Rihanna ft. Drake – “Work”
17. Florida Georgia Line – “H.O.L.Y.”
18. Meghan Trainor – “Me Too”
19. Adele – “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”
20. Drake – “Controlla”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Cheap Thrills
2. Work From Home
3. Work
4. I Took a Pill in Ibiza
5. Dangerous Woman
6. Needed Me
7. Ride
8. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
9. One Dance
10. Heathens
11. Me Too
12. Can’t Stop the Feeling!
13. Don’t Let Me Down
14. Controlla
15. This Is What You Came For
16. Just Like Fire
17. Panda
18. 7 Years
19. Don’t Mind
20. H.O.L.Y.

The Best of SNL Season 41

June 26, 2016

jmunney Saturday Night Live, SNL Season Recaps, Television , , , Leave a comment

snl_season_41_cast_photo

Most Valuable Cast Member
Kate McKinnon
Runner-Up: Cecily Strong
Honorable Mention: Larry David

Best Sketches
For my full thoughts on the best sketches, click here.
1. Yo, Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?
2. Mafia Meeting
3. FBI Simulator
4. bern your enthusiasm
5. Dead Bopz
6. Chad and Mrs. Douglas Show
7. Oprah Winfrey: A Life of Love
8. Screen Guild Awards
9. Close Encounter
10. Farewell, Mr. Bunting

Best Dress Rehearsal Cuts (AKA The “Kyle ‘Cut for Time’ Mooney” Award)
For my full thoughts on the best dress rehearsal cuts, click here.
1. Establishment Shuffle
2. New Studio
3. Not Scared
4. March Madness
5. Bieber Concert

Best 10-to-1 Sketches
1. Dead Bopz
2. Oprah Winfrey: A Life of Love
3. Miley Wedding Tape

Best Hosts
1. Larry David
2. Fred Armisen
3. Ariana Grande

Best Monologues
1. Fred Armisen
2. Elizabeth Banks
3. Tracy Morgan

Best Musical Guests
1. Disclosure
2. Courtney Barnett
3. The 1975

Best Weekend Update Segments
1. Drunk Uncle
2. One-Dimensional Female Character From a Male-Driven Comedy
3. Bruce Chandling

Best Episodes
1. Tracy Morgan/Demi Lovato
2. Fred Armisen/Courtney Barnett
3. Larry David/The 1975
4. Ariana Grande
5. Brie Larson/Alicia Keys

Best Lines
For my full thoughts on the best lines, click here.
13. “Why do we have to labia everything?” – The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party (Cecily Strong), on Weekend Update
12. “Happy Birthday to Mitt Romney who today turns 69. Which for Mormons is a sin.” – Colin Jost, on Weekend Update
11. “We’re at the point where we’re-” “finishing each other’s sente-” “pedes. Human” ““centipedes. Favorite Christmas movie!”” – Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, in their monologue
10. “Am I dating a girl, or am I dating … a pop quiz?” – Bruce Chandling (Kyle Mooney), on Weekend Update
9. “How far along are you, Theresa? You look like you’re about to pop.” “We think 2 months, we haven’t been keeping count.” “What?” “We don’t really know how it works, and we don’t believe in doctors. We’re just kinda winging it.” – Baby shower guest (Sasheer Zamata) and Theresa (Vanessa Bayer), in Baby Shower
8. “Jackie Chan was in movies as well as karate.” – Kenan Thompson, in Yo, Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?
7. “My tongue’s not as long as Gene Simmons, but my penis is even shorter.” – Ace Chuggins (Larry David), in Last Call
6. “All of you knuckleheads are getting cars.” – Oprah (Mike O’Brien), in Oprah Winfrey: A Life of Love
5. “God bless you.” “He never has and he never will.” – Colin Jost and Olya Povlatsky (Kate McKinnon), on Weekend Update
4. “Quick, somebody give that hologram a Holo-Grammy. Not my joke, guys, I’m just laser beams.” –Bing Crosby hologram (Beck Bennett), in Dead Bopz
3. “Paul Robeson of Porgy and Bess fame was one of the great singers and civil rights leaders of his day. We used a computer to make him sing ‘Trap Queen.’” –Bing Crosby hologram (Beck Bennett), in Dead Bopz
2. “Poetry should not be fun. It should be oppressive and the reader should hate it. Poems are from a hundred years ago. They were written by a bunch of dead men to punish children. The arts in general are for women and homosexuals. When you read a poem you should never feel emotion. In summary, poems stink.” – Mr. Kellogg (Beck Bennett), in Farewell, Mr. Bunting
1. “Can a bitch get a donut?!” – Kevin Roberts (Larry David), in FBI Simulator

What Won TV? – June 19-June 25, 2016

June 26, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Deon_Cole_Cole_Blooded_Seminar

Sunday – Silicon Valley
Monday – UnREAL
Tuesday – Not Safe with Nikki Glaser
Wednesday – Another Period
Thursday – Jeopardy!
Friday – VICE, with the best use for poop
Saturday – Deon Cole teaching us something with his Cole-Blooded Seminar

This Is a Movie Review: Wiener-Dog

June 26, 2016

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , Leave a comment

Wiener-Dog-Movie

Todd Solondz’ Wiener-Dog­ is a series of vignettes about a dachshund’s revolving set of owners: a contentious couple (Tracy Letts, Julie Delpy) and their sensitive, cancer-survivor son (Keaton Nigel Cooke); a new version of awkward Dawn Wiener (Greta Gerwig) from Solondz’ breakout Welcome to the Dollhouse; a hack film professor (Danny DeVito); and a regretful old woman (Ellen Burstyn). Typical for a Solondz film, each character suffers occasionally ugly physical and emotional upheaval, with the dachshund serving – as dogs do – as a conduit to all the trauma. That connection is also represented through her changing names, ranging from the charmingly literal (“Wiener-Dog”) to the unnervingly symbolic (“Cancer”). While Solondz’ approach is off-putting, his characters’ indignities are not necessarily unusual (save for a few instances that manage an uncanny mix of mundane and extreme). It is a low-key effort, with plenty of incisive moments about what it means to be human that manage to be comforting despite, or somehow because, of the darkness.

I give Wiener-Dog 3 Bones.

This Is a Movie Review: Swiss Army Man

June 25, 2016

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , 1 Comment

SWISS ARMY MAN (2016) Daniel Radcliffe and Paul Dano

Swiss Army Man is a lot like the recent X-Files episode, “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster,” in that a human-esque creature learns the rules that govern human civilization and then offers a rejuvenating perspective to a fully human companion. In this case, that creature is the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe,henceforth known as “Manny” (not unlike Rhys Darby as “Guy Mann”), whose presence revitalizes suicidal Hank (Paul Dano), most strikingly with the propulsive power of his flatulence. But there is so much more to Manny. He combines a blank slate, sophistication, and bluntness for a new form of wisdom. As Manny develops the ability to talk, his and Hank’s conversations tend toward the discomfort (both physical and social) of bodily urges and functions, but they are treated with the tenderness worthy of deeply connected friends. Swiss Army Man threatens to lift the veil of its fantasy, but it keeps its corpse fart-engine running, because magic exists.

I give Swiss Army Man 721 New Uses for the Human Body out of 1030 Possibilities.

This Is a Movie Review: The Shallows

June 24, 2016

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the-shallows

The premise for The Shallows – Blake Lively stuck on a rock while a hungry shark prowls around – sounds like a recipe for lean, no-frills horror. Alas, there are some frills, in the form of a fairly standard issue backstory. Lively plays Nancy, a med school student with some doubts about her life’s trajectory following the death of her mother, so she comes to surf at the remote Mexican beach that Mom visited while pregnant with her. These details are sort of superfluous, but they are well-deployed, explaining Nancy’s motivation and resourcefulness as she fights to survive. Plus, it gives director Jaume Collet-Serra plenty of opportunities to show off his knack for cinematizing mobile communication.

Most striking about The Shallows is the gorgeous cinematography, courtesy of Flavio Martínez Labiano. In addition to the gratuitous cheesecake shots, there are sublimely expansive vistas of the hills and shore overlooking the ocean. This beauty might feel out of place for a film whose m.o. is striking fear, but the widescreen quality is utilized smartly. Visuals that are initially life-affirming eventually serve to viscerally emphasize the isolation and long odds faced by Nancy.

For anyone worried about the implications of the MPAA’s ruling, rest assured that The Shallows is probably the goriest PG-13 movie I have ever seen. From Nancy’s improvised surgery on herself, to the fates that befall some of her would-be saviors, there are moments as intense as any of those from the most explicit creature features. The subgenre of Impossible Odds Thrillers exists to convince moviegoers they can survive life-or-death situations more than they ever thought possible. The Shallows is unrelenting in that belief.

Finally, everything you have heard about Blake Lively’s seagull co-star is true.

I give The Shallows 8 Reservoirs of Internal Strength out of 10 Expressions of Terror.

This Is a Movie Review: Now You See Me 2

June 24, 2016

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now-you-see-me-2

The first Now You See Me did not stick the landing so much as it hit the ground with a sledgehammer, by force of a twist ending that made one of its main characters much more psychotic than the film had any intention of grappling with. It was, in a word, breathtaking. Now You See Me 2 responds in kind with a similarly outrageous long con that is very much in keeping with the spirit of this series – that is to say: maddening, but weirdly satisfying if you have a high tolerance for insanity. The problem, however, is that this time there is not much to tide you over until that ending comes. Where the original had a silly but kinetic Robin Hood-style caper plot to run on, number 2 is a whole lotta lack of clarity.

I give Now You See Me 2 5 Acknowledgements of Its Sexism out of 10 Other Things It Should Have Also Been Doing.

This Is a Movie Review: Finding Dory

June 22, 2016

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finding_dory

A lot of sequels are unsuccessful due to wholly unnatural extensions of the original. Finding Dory has no such problem. Following the events of Finding Nemo, it only makes sense that the blue tang voiced by Ellen DeGeneres would want to swim across the ocean to find her parents. That predictability is definitely not a problem, but it does hold the film back from transcendence. It tightly follows an easily navigable pattern: complete this mission, move on to the next one. Not every plot development is predictable, but every resolution is. That is, except for a truly astounding ending that breaks all sense of believability. True, believability may not be the most important factor for the movies examining the Secret Life of Marine Animals, but one still expects limits. That is not a complaint, though. The entire film could have benefited from this go-for-broke mentality.

I give Finding Dory 5 out of 7 Septapus Legs.

This Is a Movie Review: Little Sister

June 22, 2016

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littlesister

Director Zach Clark’s Little Sister, which played as part of BAMcinemaFest 2016, captures the essence of childhood’s steady grip on young adulthood. In this particular case, the young adult is Colleen (Addison Timlin), a nun who gets back in touch with her teenage goth side when she returns to her parents’ home in North Carolina to visit her war hero brother, who was badly burned by an explosion in Iraq. The transformation from mistress of the night to mistress of God might sound like the kooky creation of a Hollywood screenwriter, but let me tell ya: as someone who went to a Catholic high school, I have witnessed a goth contingent among the faithful. Now, whether or not any of those girls went on to the abbey, I will have to admit my doubts. The point is, this premise is not that far a stretch from reality.

The film grapples with accepting life’s shortcomings when it does not live up to the assumptions and perceptions borne of inexperience. Grown children realize the extent of their parents’ drug use, a pending marriage is challenged by physical disfigurement, and an abbey struggles to fulfill its charity work when the mother superior’s car is unavailable longer than unexpected. Little Sister hits that sweet spot between oddness and familiarity.

I give Little Sister 2 Hugs out of 2.5 Drugs.

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