Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
February 11, 2017
Cinema David x Elise, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Han x Leia, Hot Rod, Jacob x Queenie, Jakweenie, Pat x Tiffany, Peter x Mary Jane, Rod x Denise, Silver Linings Playbook, Spider-Man, Star Wars, The Adjustment Bureau, The Princess Bride, Valentine's Day, Westley x Buttercup Leave a comment
Right around last year’s Valentine’s Day, I declared to the world my favorite TV couples of all time. So this year, how’s about I do the same thing for movies?!
This list appears to be a little more exclusive than my TV one, perhaps because TV tends to be more intimate.
Anyway, here’s the cream of the crop:
“AS…
YOU…
WISH!”
February 8, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Chad Stahelski, Common, Ian McShane, John Wick, John Wick: Chapter 2, Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ruby Rose 4 Comments
This review was originally published on News Cult in February 2017.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Riccardo Scamarcio, Common, Ruby Rose, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne
Director: Chad Stahelski
Running Time: 122 Minutes
Rating: R for BANG! BANG! BANG!
Release Date: February 10, 2017
The first John Wick was one of the loudest theatrical experiences I have ever endured. I did not encounter this complaint from anyone else, but I’m fairly certain I was not going insane. It’s possible that this particular auditorium’s sound mix was way out of proportion, but I am intimately familiar with that theater, so that explanation is unlikely. With Chapter 2 now on the way, I can safely say I feel vindicated about calling this franchise the most aurally assaulting around.
This hitman free-for-all kicks off with engines revving and metal crashing in an opening car chase that leaves you no opportunity to get your bearings. You might have enough time to put your hands over your ears, but barely. At least there appears to be a rhythm to the volume – a physical one, that is. In conclusion, I have spent two paragraphs explaining that my favorite part of John Wick: Chapter 2 is how great a massage it gave me, via the vibrations caused by the cacophony. I may have some moral qualms about deriving relaxation from such wanton violence, but this is a patently fantastical universe (despite its lived-in New York trappings), so we can skate around that a bit.
The concepts that the first John Wick introduced to the action genre are ones for the ages. The global hitman battle royale is like a magical underworld that exists within the shadows. Plus, the hotel serving these assassins, in which all killing is forbidden, with Concierge Lance Reddick whisking us in, is a rich setup for comic relief. But it was all undone by sloppy editing that I could not believe an otherwise sophisticated flick thought it could get away with. Maybe a new hand on the controls is just what was needed, as Evan Schiff takes over for Elísabet Ronalds, and there is a whole lot more patience in the cuts. If Keanu Reeves is going to shove a pencil in one guy’s ear and another guy’s neck, we want to be able to see it. And in Chapter 2, we see EVERYTHING.
John Wick films are less about plot and more about setup. In this edition, Wick is forced to repay his debt, but it proves to be a trick to make him vulnerable. This is all just an excuse to get to the action, and it is effective. Wick’s reputation is an almost supernaturally skilled killer, often discussed in hushed tones and referred to as “The Boogeyman.” Yet his actual name is also repeated ad infinitum. The highest compliment I can pay this movie is that the action is so relentlessly intense that that lapse in logic does not matter.
John Wick: Chapter 2 is Recommended If You Like: The first John Wick But Wish It Had Been Edited Better, Laurence Fishburne Shouting to the Heavens
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Million Dollar Bounties
February 7, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
5. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
6. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
9. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
10. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
11. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
12. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
13. twentyonepilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
14. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
15. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
16. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
17. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
18. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
19. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
20. The xx – “On Hold”
21. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
22. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
23. John Mayer – “Moving On and Getting Over”
24. Skillet – “Stars”
25. Bishop Briggs – “Wild Horses”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Wild Horses
7. Somebody Else
8. On Hold
9. Ride
10. Ophelia
11. Heathens
12. Wish I Knew You
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Believer
16. Take It All Back
17. Still Breathing
18. Moving On and Getting Over
19. HandClap
20. Stars
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker
February 7, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Scars to Your Beautiful Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
5. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
6. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
7. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
8. Drake – “Fake Love”
9. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
10. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
11. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
12. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
13. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
14. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
15. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
16. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
17. Aminé – “Caroline”
18. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
19. Migos – “T-Shirt”
20. Jon Bellion – “All Time Low”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side by Side
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. T-Shirt
8. Closer
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. Paris
12. Bad and Boujee
13. Bounce Back
14. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. All Time Low
16. Bad Things
17. Let Me Love You
18. Caroline
19. Fake Love
20. Don’t Wanna Know
February 6, 2017
Commercials, Sports, Super Bowl Commercials, Television A Cure for Wellness, Bai, Bud Light, Christopher Walken, Honda, Skittles, Spuds MacKenzie, Super Bowl 51, Super Bowl Commercials, Super Bowl LI Leave a comment
I’m still ranking the best Super Bowl commercials. Click on the link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://newscult.com/the-five-best-super-bowl-li-commercials/
February 5, 2017
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television Alessia Cara, Kristen Stewart, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live 4213, Saturday Night Live Season 42, SNL, SNL Season 42, Totino's Leave a comment
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Kristen Stewart” Episode 1717 — Pictured: (l-r) Host Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Bayer during the “Totinos” sketch on January 31, 2017 — (Photo by: Rosalind O’Connor/NBC)
This review was originally posted on News Cult in February 2017.
Love It
Meet Cute – In this filmed piece, Kristen Stewart and Pete Davidson have the titular encounter at a coffee shop, and the unlikelihood of an immediate development into a relationship is examined, poked, and prodded. It is not really the case that in most cinematic meet-cutes someone fails to give out enough relevant information, but it is true that they are just too fast to truly be meaningful. So we should all relate to Pete’s struggle on a spiritual (not literal) level. Oh, and his confusion over how to spell Manhattan (it’s 2 T’s, not 2 D’s) is a marvelous detail.
When Robert Mugabe earns the big applause, as in the Oval Office Phone Calls cold open, you know you’ve got something … let’s call it “special.”
February 5, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Australian Open, Baskets, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Man Seeking Woman, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Saturday Night Live, SNL Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – How did we get an Australian Open ending like this in 2017?
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – Marvel’s Patton Oswalt’s of S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Wednesday – Woof Woof Cowabunga thanks for the great episode, Man Seeking Woman!
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Saturday – Saturday Night Live
February 3, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Asa Butterfield, B.D. Wong, Britt Robertson, Carla Gugino, Gary Oldman, Peter Chesolm, The Space Between Us Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in 2017.
Starring: Asa Butterfield, Britt Robertson, Gary Oldman, Carla Gugino, B.D. Wong
Director: Peter Chesolm
Running Time: 120 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Intense Re-Entry
Release Date: February 3, 2017
If an astronaut on her way to Mars turned out to have gotten pregnant just before departure, would your first thought be how mortified she must be of her irresponsibility? If you said yes, you might just be Gary Oldman in The Space Between Us. In the moment, that sentiment is a little disturbing and quite backwards. Eventually it becomes clear why Oldman – the man behind this Martian colonization effort – reacts this way, and it is somewhat reasonable but also still a little patronizing.
That lack of progressiveness also plagues Space’s vision of the future. Beyond the fact that travel to Mars is reasonably accessible, there is not much to distinguish this vision of Earth from the 2017 version. The only new technology appears to be the latest generation of tablets. To paraphrase Tom Servo: so… 30 years from now it’ll be 3 years from now? I guess that’s what you get when you hire the director of Hannah Montana: The Movie to try his hand at sci-fi. The Space Between Us is decidedly NOT the best of both worlds.
The dearth of futuristic imagination can partially be justified by the fact that Space mostly chooses to be a road trip film through the southwestern U.S. The deal here is that Asa Butterfield (Ender in Ender’s Game) is the Martian-born son of that pregnant astronaut, and he is visiting Earth for the first time after growing up for his first 16 years on the red planet. He is supposed to be held at NASA for observation to determine if his bones can handle the new atmosphere, but he is too in love to be contained by The Man.
So Butterfield and Britt Robertson (Hollywood’s current go-to for all-American gals) go on the run from Oldman and his team to discover the truth behind Butterfield’s origins and just to be free. There is actually a great germ of a story here about how love knows no bounds (and Butterfield plays the slightly alien fish-out-of-water quite naturally) but the implementation is rather plainly prosaic. Also, everyone is genuinely looking out for the best of our Martian child, and a major revelation that resolves every misunderstanding is held off unnaturally for the sake of driving conflict. But at least we know now how passionately Gary Oldman feels about going to Mars.
The Space Between Us is Recommended If You Like: Gary Oldman getting all worked up, Britt Robertson playing the girl next door, the Asa Butterfield Space Genre
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Space Colonies
February 1, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
4. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
5. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
6. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
7. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
8. John Mayer – “Moving on and Getting Over”
9. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
10. John Mayer – “You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me”
11. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
12. John Mayer – “Changing”
13. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
14. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
15. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
16. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
17. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
18. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
19. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
20. “Not Easy”
21. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
22. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
23. The xx – “On Hold”
24. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
25. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name Is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Somebody Else
7. On Hold
8. Ride
9. Ophelia
10. Heathens
11. Wish I Knew You
12. Waste a Moment
13. Cleopatra
14. Take It All Back
15. Still Breathing
16. You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me
17. HandClap
18. Moving on and Getting Over
19. She’s Out of Her Mind
20. Changing
21. Love on the Weekend
22. Not Easy
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker
February 1, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Scars to Your Beautiful Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
2. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
5. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
6. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
8. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
9. Drake – “Fake Love”
10. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
11. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
12. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
13. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
14. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
15. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
16. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
17. Aminé – “Caroline”
18. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
19. Jon Bellion – “All Time Low”
20. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side to Side
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. Closer
8. Shape of You
9. 24K Magic
10. Starving
11. Paris
12. Bad and Boujee
13. Bounce Back
14. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. All Time Low
16. Bad Things
17. Let Me Love You
18. Caroline
19. Fake Love
20. Don’t Wanna Know
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