Promising Young Woman fulfilled plenty of promises for me this year (CREDIT: Focus Features/YouTube Screenshot)

If I were in charge of unilaterally selecting the Oscars, here is who would be selected. Nominees are listed alphabetically, winners in bold.

Best Picture
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Da 5 Bloods
The Invisible Man
Promising Young Woman

Best Director
Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman
Spike Lee, Da 5 Bloods
Christopher Nolan, Tenet
Leigh Whannell, The Invisible Man
Jason Woliner, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Lead Actor
Ben Affleck, The Way Back
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Hugh Jackman, Bad Education
Delroy Lindo, Da 5 Bloods
Vince Vaughn, Freaky

Lead Actress
Haley Bennett, Swallow
Betty Gilpin, The Hunt
Elisabeth Moss, The Invisible Man
Elisabeth Moss, Shirley
Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman

Supporting Actor
Chadwick Boseman, Da 5 Bloods
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Trial of the Chicago 7
Bo Burnham, Promising Young Woman
Jim Carrey, Sonic the Hedgehog
Alan Kim, Minari

Supporting Actress
Maria Bakalova, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Gina Rodriguez, Kajillionaire
Amanda Seyfried, Mank
Molly Shannon, Promising Young Woman
Youn Yuh-jung, Minari

Original Screenplay
Danny Bilson, Paul De Meo, Kevin Willmott, and Spike Lee, Da 5 Bloods
Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman
Christopher Nolan, Tenet
Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7
James Montague and Craig W. Sanger, The Vast of Night

Adapted Screenplay
Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern, and Nina Pedrad, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Mike Markowsky, Bad Education
Florian Zeller and Christopher Hampton, The Father
Leigh Whannell, The Invisible Man
Sarah Gubbins, Shirley

Original Score
Erran Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Terence Blanchard, Da 5 Bloods
Benjamin Wallfisch, The Invisible Man
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, and Jon Batiste, Soul
Ludwig Gӧransson, Tenet

Original Song
“Jaja Ding Dong,” written by Gustaf Holter and Christian Persson, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
“The Plan”, written by Jacques Webster II, Ludwig Gӧransson, and Ebony Oshunrinde, Tenet
“Wuhan Flu,” written by Erran Baron Cohen, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Anthony Hines, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Ben Smithard, The Father
Stefan Duscio, The Invisible Man
Mark Schwartzbard, The Photograph
Hoyte van Hoytema, Tenet
M. I. Littin-Menz, The Vast of Night

Animated Feature

Costume Design
Erin Benach, Birds of Prey
Alexander Bryen, Emma.
Anna B. Sheppard, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Wendy Chuck, Hubie Halloween
Nancy Steiner, Promising Young Woman

Film Editing
James Thomas, Craig Alpert, and Michael Giambra, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Yorgos Lamprinos, The Father
Andy Canny, The Invisible Man
Frédéric Thoraval, Promising Young Woman
Jennifer Lame, Tenet

Production Design
Da 5 Bloods
The Father

Da 5 Bloods
The Invisible Man
Sound of Metal

Visual Effects
The Invisible Man

Makeup and Hairstyling
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Promising Young Woman
The United States vs. Billie Holliday

Documentary Feature
David Byrne’s American Utopia
Feels Good Man
My Octopus Teacher
Skin: A History of Nudity in the Movies

International Feature Film
Night of the Kings
Two of Us

Animated Short
I abstain.

Live Action Short
What Did Jack Do?

Documentary Short Subject
I abstain.