Origin Story ‘Transformers One’ Takes It Back to Cybertron

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One is the loneliest Transformer that you’ll ever do! (CREDIT: Paramount Animation/Hasbro)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Brian Tyree Henry, Scarlett Johansson, Keegan-Michael Key,  Steve Buscemi, Laurence Fishburne, Jon Hamm

Director: Josh Cooley

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Robot Dismemberment

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If you’re concerned that most Transformers movies have too many pesky dang humans, then have I got the movie for you! Well, actually, it’s Paramount and Hasbro who have the movie for you, I’m just here to let you know about it. It’s an animated flick called Transformers One, and it takes place entirely on the robots’ home planet of Cybertron, and it doesn’t follow any of the Autobots and Decepticons that we’ve come to know and love over the years… or does it? A couple of bots named Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Bryan Tyree Henry) are stuck underground working the mines day after day, but they have a hankering to discover what’s really happening on the planet’s surface. They eventually make their way up there along with a scamp named B-127 (Keegan-Michael Key) and a steady hand named Elita (Scarlett Johansson), as they uncover a conspiracy and fight to realize a new path forward for Cybertron.

What Made an Impression?: Vroom Vroom: Before Orion and D-16 emerge onto the surface, they first try to make a name for themselves by sneaking their way into the IACON 5000, which appears to be the most popular racing event in all of Cybertron. Perhaps devoted Transformers fans already know all about the IACON, but for the uninitiated, it’s basically the Indianapolis 500 crossed with the colorful loop-de-loop energy of Mario Kart. I wasn’t expecting this moment out of a Transformers movie, but quite frankly, it was a breath of fresh air compared to the typical metal-on-metal action. After this particular set piece, the plot becomes a fairly typical hero’s journey that’s easy enough to follow despite all the Cybertronic jargon. I would have personally preferred the fish-out-of-water sizzle typical of the live action Transformers flicks, but if we must stick with only the metal creatures the whole way through, then at least the IACON 5000 offers a nice change of pace.
Before They Were Stars: Transformers One plays things a little coy, but if you’ve encountered any major Transformers property in the past few decades, then you should be able to figure out without too much trouble the actual identities of the most iconic main characters. It’s a little disorienting that longtime Optimus Prime voice Peter Cullen is nowhere to be heard, but I appreciate the efforts at differentiation. There’s something to be said about these guys sounding a little different before they became universally renowned heroes and villains, after all. With this throwback approach, T One gave me similar reboot-ish vibes as another recent animated flick about non-human warriors released by Paramount. That earlier release also set up a new TV show, and I wouldn’t be surprised if similar plans are in place for a new Cybertron-set series. I wasn’t quite thrilled enough by T One to be excited about that possibility, though. But I imagine there are enough fans (or potential fans) of this property that there could be something viable there. So in conclusion, Transformers One is most successful as an inoffensive brand extension.

Transformers One is Recommended If You Like: A glitzy voice cast, Macguffin-filled dialogue, The neologism “Badassitron”

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Matrices

‘Speak No Evil’ Lures You Into Its Trap and Doesn’t Let Go

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Three Characters Trying Not to Speak Any Evil (CREDIT: Susie Allnutt/Universal Pictures and Blumhouse)

Starring: James McAvoy, Mackenzie Davis, Aisling Franciosi, Scoot McNairy, Alix West Lefler, Dan Hough

Director: James Watkins

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Violence, Disturbing Behavior, and a Little Bit of Innuendo

Release Date: September 13, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Americans Louise and Ben Dalton (Mackenzie Davis and Scoot McNairy) are feeling a little adrift ever since moving to London with their 11-year-old daughter Agnes (Alix West Lefler). While on vacation in Italy, they forge a bit of a connection with British couple Paddy and Ciara (James McAvoy and Aisling Franciosi), whose son Ant (Dan Hough) has trouble speaking because he’s missing part of his tongue. Paddy and Ciara are friendly, if perhaps a smidge too forward. But Louise and Ben are vulnerable enough to be won over by their sway, and it also helps that the chronically anxious Agnes opens up when she’s around Ant. So the Daltons soon find themselves guests at Paddy and Ciara’s remote countryside estate, but this idyllic retreat gradually becomes more and more suspicious. Forgivable faux pas like Paddy feeding the vegetarian Louise the first bite of the prized cooked goose quickly give way to more frightening secrets, like Ant revealing his bruises to Agnes. Louise wants to vamoose at pretty much the first warning sign, and it’s not long before Ben and Agnes are feeling the same.

What Made an Impression?: We Don’t Know the Half of It: You might think you know exactly what is going to happen in Speak No Evil. It has the sort of trailer that appears to give away the entire plot, plus it’s a remake of a Danish film that came out just a couple years ago. I haven’t seen the original, but I have watched the trailer, and there are some key moments that are remixed this time around. I guessed the major third act reveal based on the previews, and I’m sure I won’t be the only one. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Every inch and crevice of McAvoy, Franciosi, and Hough’s performances scream “Something’s not right here!” As the thorough depravity of Paddy and Ciara’s designs are brought into the open, it’s riveting, profoundly alarming, and breathtaking.
Bonding Through Trauma: A shared stressful experience, if handled sufficiently, can deepen the bond of a relationship. And well, Louise and Ben could sure use some relationship strengthening. They’re reeling from a minor case of infidelity, as well as resentment from Louise putting her career on hold for Ben’s sake, plus just general feelings of existential instability. So perhaps it was fated that they would run into Paddy and Ciara, who kind of fancy themselves as amateur therapists. In a more good-natured movie, the Daltons would probably be eternally grateful for their intervention, but in truth, they’re profound manipulators. Nevertheless, the ultimate effect is the same, as Louise and Ben manage to find their way back to each other through this terrifying gauntlet.
Resourcefulness is Key: Isn’t it so satisfying to watch movie characters be resourceful? (I have to tip my hat to Kyle Buchanan for elucidating this observation during a recent guest appearance on the Blank Check podcast.) The Daltons don’t appear to have ever been trapped in a situation as disorienting as this one, but it’s immediately clear that they’ll just have to figure it out if they’re going to survive. I for one couldn’t peel my eyes away from their efforts, as evidenced by the fact that I didn’t write a single thing down in my notebook for the entire 110 minutes. Often when thriller protagonists are captivatingly resourceful, it’s clear what experience they’re drawing from, even if their backstories are merely hinted at. In the case of Speak No Evil, that’s a little less true. In fact, it’s a running theme how ineffective Louise and especially Ben feel in their daily lives. But the experience of raising a child can go a long way. If you’re going to be a decent parent, then you necessarily figure out a lot along the way as the years roll by. So when Louise and Ben start surreptitiously grabbing makeshift weapons and cleverly scoping out their surroundings, we buy that they’re able to pull this off by virtue of their dedication to protecting Agnes. If you want to believe that you’ll similarly always be there for your kids, it’s worth checking out Speak No Evil to see how it tests your mettle.

Speak No Evil is Recommended If You Like: Psycho, You’re Next, Orphan

Grade: 4 out of 5 Scissors

An Important Note About the Occupants of ‘The Front Room’

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A scene from The Front Room that doesn’t take place in the front room (CREDIT: Jon Pack/A24)

Starring: Brandy, Kathryn Hunter, Andrew Burnap, Neal Huff

Director: Max and Sam Eggers

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

I thought I was ready for The Front Room. A pregnant Brandy vs. Kathryn Hunter as her ignorant, zealously religious stepmother-in-law: how could you go wrong with that premise?!

Alas, now that I’ve seen it, I feel compelled to issue a warning to anyone who is excited as I was. This could very well be construed as a spoiler, so stop reading if you must, but that won’t prevent me from fulfilling my civic duty.

Okay, here goes: a good chunk of this movie about incontinence. Like, a BIG chunk. And it’s not shy about it! It’s also a tonal mish-mash, which it actually handles pretty well. But I really don’t think it needed all those stinky bodily fluids.

Grade: 8 Hallucinations out of 17 Unholy Spirits

I’m Not Afraid to Say That I Have Some Thoughts About ‘AfrAId’

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To Be AfrAID, or to be very AfrAId? (CREDIT: Glen Wilson/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: John Cho, Katherine Waterston, Keith Carradine, Havana Rose Liu, Lukita Maxwell, David Dastmalchian, Ashley Romans, Wyatt Lindner, Isaac Bae, Bennett Curran, Greg Hill, Riki Lindhome, Todd Waring

Director: Chris Weitz

Running Time: 84 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: August 30, 2024 (Theaters)

I ain’t afraid of no A.I. And AfrAId didn’t convince me that I should be! First of all, it’s just a movie, so we should really just relax. Second of all, it takes a much-less apocalyptic approach than it could have. Whereas horror movie monsters are typically defeated or merely just escaped from by their story’s end, in AfrAID, AIA the A.I. ultimately brokers a compromise with its human keepers. In that way, it offers a similarly uneasy (but possibly hopeful) solution as that of The Babadook. So yeah, that’s something different than what we usually get from this genre. If that sounds kind of enticing to you, then I would go ahead and encourage you to check out AfrAId!

Grade: A.I. Don’t Love You, But A.I. Do Tolerate You

Shall We Join ‘The Crow’ Team?

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Something to Crow about? (CREDIT: Lionsgate)

Starring: Bill Skarsgård, FKA Twigs, Danny Huston, Josette Simon, Laura Birn, Sami Bouajila, Isabella Wei, Jordan Bolger

Director: Rupert Sanders

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 23, 2024 (Theaters)

Well, I just saw a movie, so I guess it’s time to ask myself once again: would I like this to happen to me? “This” being “become The Crow (2024).” I can definitely see the appeal! The Bill Skarsgård version of Eric’s trail of vengeance may be soul-destroying, but it’s relatively clean and about as straightforward as advertised. Plus, I’ve never seen the 1994 Crow (nor read any of the comics, for that matter), so I don’t have a sterling standard in my head to compare it against. Ultimately, if I could somehow finagle a fantastical Crow-like journey that wouldn’t seep into my mortal existence, I’d be down for it, especially if it meant having a mentor played by Sami Bouajila, who kind of reminded me of Luis Guzman in the “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux” episode of Community.

Grade: 3 Crows out of More Crows

Time to ‘Slingshot,’ But What’s the Destination?

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TFW u Slingshot (CREDIT: Bleecker Street/Screenshot)

Starring: Casey Affleck, Laurence Fishburne, Emily Beecham, Tomer Capone, David Morrissey

Director: Mikael Håfström

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 30, 2024 (Theaters)

Well okay, since Slingshot didn’t get a super-duper big release, nor was it heavily advertised, I suppose I ought to provide a quick synopsis so that you don’t have to open an extra tab. Casey Affleck plays an astronaut named John who’s on a mission to Titan, the largest moon of Saturn. He’s joined by two other astronauts, played by these dudes Laurence Fishburne and Tomer Capone. Meanwhile, there are flashbacks to John’s time on Earth when he was recruited into the mission and fell in love with his girlfriend Zoe (Emily Beecham). Those flashbacks will prove to be important later! Anyway, while the crew gets to the point in outer space where they must perform a slingshot maneuver around Jupiter, John starts to lose his mind a little bit.

To get extratextual for a moment, I saw this movie with my dad on Sunday afternoon of Labor Day weekend, which was a good scheduling idea, as the ending made me go, “Hmm, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.” Luckily, ambiguity that’s as big as the vast expanse of space was easier to handle on a relaxing weekend. So if you’re thinking about seeing Slingshot yourself, just make sure to avoid any simultaneous existential crises. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing!)

Grade: 800 Slings out of 1555 Shots

August Movie Review Catch-Up: The Heat Dissipates

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures (CREDIT: Screenshot)

I saw a bunch of movies in August 2024 that I haven’t released my full thoughts about yet, as it’s been too hot to say too much about any one movie. So I waited until September in the hopes that it would cool down at least a little bit and that I wouldn’t overheat from all this film analysis.

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Does ‘Seeking Mavis Beacon’ Bring a Digital Icon Back to Her Home Keys?

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ASDF ;LKJ (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Not Mavis Beacon

Director: Jazmin Renée Jones

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: August 30, 2024 (IFC Center in New York City)/September 6, 2024 (Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Chicago)/September 13, 2024 (Additional Cities)

What’s It About?: In a case of “Only 90s Kids Can Understand,” Seeking Mavis Beacon doggedly attempts to uncover the truth behind the once-ubiquitous software program that taught a generation of children how to utilize their keyboards as efficiently as possible. Launched in 1987, Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing and its title character delivered a regal air to the burgeoning personal computer sector. A lot of people apparently believe that Mavis Beacon was a real human being, but she was in fact a fictional character originally brought to life by model Renee L’Esperance. For filmmaker Jazmin Renée Jones, Mavis Beacon was one of the most influential people of her childhood – and so therefore was L’Esperance. Thus, she felt absolutely compelled to make a documentary to uncover how Renee became Mavis, and why she then just … disappeared.

What Made an Impression?: Society in the Machine: Jones feels a vibrant kinship with anyone who still believes that Mavis Beacon is a real person, probably because she used to believe that herself as well. Her movie doesn’t dive completely into the Mandela effect, but it is indebted to a society that is for better or worse perpetually connected to the online world, both thematically and formally. A good chunk of the film plays out on computer screens, with vintage Mavis Beacon game footage, FaceTime conversations, and chunks of viral memes. Its style in the early going reminded me of the Rodney Ascher doc A Glitch in the Matrix, which examined the possibility that we’re living in a simulation within the context of a post-Matrix world. I’m intrigued by how this setup posits that Beacon has been just as influential as Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity, although Jones doesn’t really stick with this approach. Alas, I kind of wish she had, as Seeking Mavis Beacon could have benefited from being a little less prosaic as it moved ahead.
Documentarian, Document Thyself?: It becomes pretty clear early on that Jones’ journey to contact L’Esperance will be rather quixotic. That’s not entirely disappointing, as Jones does manage to interview some of the other important figures behind Mavis’ creation. And with the digital snooping aid of her “cyberdoula” partner Olivia Ross, they also manage to track down a bit of a mild cover-up. But with L’Esperance proving to be firmly unreachable, the movie fills time with Jones’ and Ross’ personal struggles. Ultimately, Seeking Mavis Beacon is a documentary whose ostensible subject is just too far out of reach. Jones is too perseverant (or less generously, too stubborn) to accept that, though. There’s plenty of oomph to this story, but its inability to grapple with its limits makes for a frustrating viewing experience.

Seeking Mavis Beacon is Recommended If: You’re Okay with a Documentarian Becoming the Stealth Subject of the Documentary

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Home Keys

‘Skincare’ Draws Its Thrills From Relentless Criminal Harassment Rather Than Relentless Dry Skin

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A Photo of Elizabeth Banks Taking Care of Her Skin (CREDIT: IFC Films)

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Lewis Pullman, Michael Jaé Rodriguez, Luis Gerardo Méndez, Nathan Fillion, John Billingsley, Medalion Rahimi, Wendie Malick

Director: Austin Peters

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: R for Unwanted Dick Pics and Things Spinning Violently Out of Control

Release Date: August 16, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The skincare business is brutal, especially if you’re Hope Goldman (Elizabeth Banks). She’s already one of the biggest names in the industry, but as she gets ready to elevate things to the next level, she becomes the victim of some rather extreme sabotage. Her email is hacked, scary people start showing up at her door, and she’s sent a series of unsolicited sexts that leave little to the imagination. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s behind on her rent and that she’s spending beyond her means. She suspects that her new rival (Luis Gerardo Méndez) who just opened a store in the same complex is the one behind it all. But the truth may just be a little more sinister and impenetrable than that.

What Made an Impression?: You Can Lose ‘Em All: Is Hope by any chance related to Job from the Book of Job? That’s as viable an explanation as any that I can surmise to explain all the misfortune befalling her. In addition to the harassment campaign, seemingly every straight man she meets makes an unwanted pass at her, while all of her most loyal clients abandon her one by one.  She does bear some responsibility for her dire straits, as she doesn’t exactly have the soundest business model for her current situation, while her efforts for vengeance are misguided, to say the least. But the unceasing tribulation she faces is nothing short of cosmically massive and inescapable.
Was It All a Bad Dream?: There’s something about modern Los Angeles (or at least the version of the city that often ends up on film) that feels perpetually stuck in the 1980s: the blindingly lit-up aesthetic, the artificial peacocking, the greedy Me Decade vibes. Skincare is clearly set in the present day (or at least the past 15 years or so), what with its use of smartphones and ubiquitous email communication. But by situating itself in an industry that still relies on hawking its wares via channels that had their heyday decades ago, there is a surreal out-of-time quality to Hope’s misadventures. Plus, the whole fact that lotions and creams feel like they should be too low-stakes for an unrelenting thriller only further ramps up the cognitive dissonance. Banks’ knack for becoming existentially harried is the perfect fit for grounding us in this nightmarish realm. As someone who suffers from perpetually dry skin, I’m certainly invested in justice being served, and the unreality of it all rings painfully true.

Skincare is Recommended If You Like: A woman suddenly stopping as she realizes that she’s being followed

Grade: 3 out of 5 Facials

Hunter Schafer and Dan Stevens Go ‘Cuckoo’ in the Mountains

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We all go a little Cuckoo sometimes (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Hunter Schafer, Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Greta Fernández, Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, Konrad Singer, Proschat Madani, Kalin Morrow

Director: Tilman Singer

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Language Bloody, Reality-Altering Violence

Release Date: August 9, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: 17-year-old American Gretchen (Hunter Schafer) is summoned to the German Alps to live with her father Luis (Marton Csokas), stepmom Beth (Jessica Henwick) and little half-sister Alma (Mila Lieu), but she’s skeptical of the whole situation. And rightly so. She gets a job at the local hotel, which proves to be much less low-key than she was expecting when she’s chased home by a mysterious woman. (Or was it a woman?) Then there’s Herr König (Dan Stevens), who might just be running the town as his own personal experiment. Gretchen seems to be alone in recognizing how surreal everything is, besides a detective (Jan Bluthardt) who recruits her into an investigation into what König is really up to. And the truth probably isn’t what anybody is expecting.

What Made an Impression?: The Adults Aren’t Alright: Teenage angst and horror go hand-in-hand. But interestingly enough, none of the scares in Cuckoo are really derived from Gretchen’s internal disposition. There’s a running thread about her failing to get a hold of her Mom back in the U.S., which is plenty distressing on its own. But if Gretchen is the most tormented character in this movie, then that means that she’s also the most reasonable. Her father tells her to just knock it off and behave, but that’s not the sort of parenting she needs right now. Also, he might have been brainwashed by the machinations of Herr König, whom Stevens plays as the ultimate over-the-top mustache-twirling mad scientist. The detective is the most clear-eyed of all the adults about what’s actually happening, but even he is a little too erratic for Gretchen to get close to. We all learn eventually that grown-ups are more or less making it up as they go along, and Gretchen’s realization about that is exponentially starker than most.

Playing God vs. Finding Family: To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, there is only one thing in this world more difficult than accurately describing Cuckoo while avoiding spoilers, and that is accurately describing Cuckoo while not avoiding spoilers. Maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic, but this is definitely a bizarre, unique vision that I’m still processing. For those eager to experience the thrills on display, I’ll offer some hints by asking you to think about the bird referenced in the title and then imagining what a humanoid hybrid of such a creature would be like. As it turns out, little Alma is the key to that endeavor. Gretchen isn’t exactly an ideal big sister at the beginning of the movie, but her life-threatening journey sure helps her discover what family really means. That proves to be decent enough motivation to deliver what Cuckoo is selling.

Cuckoo is Recommended If You Like: Rosemary’s Baby, Splice, Déjà vu (The sensation, not the movie)

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Head Bandages

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