‘Cobweb’ Warns You To Keep Your Eyes and Ears Peeled for What Lurks Within the Walls

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Listening for cobwebs (CREDIT: Vlad Cioplea/Lionsgate)

Starring: Woody Norman, Lizzy Caplan, Cleopatra Coleman, Antony Starr

Director: Samuel Bodin

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: R for Bodies Torn Apart in Nasty Ways

Release Date: July 21, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s something very creepy hiding within the walls of young Peter’s (Woody Norman) house. His parents Carol (Lizzy Caplan) and Mark (Antony Starr) seem to know about it, but they’d much rather gaslight their son into believing that there’s nothing to worry about. So his home life is filled with suffocating angst, and school isn’t much better, as he’s an easy target for bullying. The only person he can confide in is his new substitute teacher Ms. Devine (Cleopatra Coleman), but Mom and Dad keep getting in the way of her efforts to reach out as well. Peter eventually decides that he’d much rather ally himself with the shadowy figure, but it quickly becomes clear that he may have seriously miscalculated the threat he’s facing.

What Made an Impression?: Time Warp: Cobweb never explicitly announces its temporal setting, which would usually mean that it’s set in the present day, but there are reasons to think otherwise. We never see anyone using any computers, or watching TV, though the clothing styles are close to modern. Peter’s house has a midcentury vibe, but in a sense that much of the domestic architecture of the late 20th and early 21st centuries is inherited from the 1950s. But we do see Ms. Devine using an iPhone at one point, which suggests that Carol and Mark are doing their damnedest to artificially keep their home stuck in the past. They clearly buried something seriously wrong long ago, and looking backward must have seemed more attractive than barreling ahead.
Mystery Monster: For most of Cobweb, the visuals and motivations remain shrouded and obscured. They’re teased out in tantalizing morsels, as Peter believes he may have discovered a long-lost sibling. When the creature fully emerges for a bloody climax, the exact nature of this being becomes clearer, though not entirely so. There are enough concrete details for viewers who demand a straightforward explanation, but also enough ambiguity to satisfy those who are more unnerved by that which can never be fully explained. It might feel a little half-baked, but it’s a unique enough vision of domestic terror to stick in your craw.

Cobweb is Recommended If You Like: Mama, Bully comeuppance, The 1950 short film A Date with Your Family

Grade: 3 out of 5 Whispers

Are You Ready to Book Your Spot in ‘Theater Camp’?

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Which one’s Theater and which one’s Camp? (CREDIT: SearchlightPictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Molly Gordon, Ben Platt, Noah Galvin, Jimmy Tatro, Nathan Lee Graham, Ayo Edebiri, Owen Thiele, Caroline Aaron, Amy Sedaris

Directors: Molly Gordon and Nick Lieberman

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Middle Schoolers Dramatizing Adult Themes

Release Date: July 14, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If you’ve ever ventured to a certain mountain range in northern New York and thought that there should be an organization called “AdirondACTS,” then Theater Camp is the movie for you! It’s a mockumentary whose production goes off the rails immediately. While watching a middle school performance of Bye Bye Birdie, AdirondACTS founder Joan Rubinsky (Amy Sedaris) has a seizure that puts her in a coma, which leaves the camp in the not-so-capable hands of her vlogger bro son Troy (Jimmy Tatro). The counselors and campers pretty much ignore him, as they’ve got plenty of drama of their own to deal with, both in terms of the shows they’re staging and the interpersonal powder kegs they’re sitting on. In particular, there are co-dependent besties Amos Klobuchar (Ben Platt) and Rebecca-Diane (Molly Gordon), who have spent just about every summer of their lives here as either students or teachers. And the question looming everything is: can this motley band of thespians find the gumption to keep everything afloat before the evil rich neighbor camp buys them out?

What Made an Impression?: Everything Is Acting: If you believe that the stage is more essential to life than breathing, then you really ought to watch Theater Camp as soon as possible. Or actually on second thought, maybe you should avoid it like the plague, unless, that is, you can bear some light ribbing about your greatest passion. If you do indeed take acting deathly seriously, you’ll probably recognize yourself in nearly every character in this movie. Hopefully, you can keep the lampooning in perspective and lap up the teasing. If you somehow don’t recognize the humor, well, you might want to head to a psychologist for a diagnosis.
A Stranger Lurks: For any potential viewers who aren’t exactly theater obsessives, Troy can serve as a potential surrogate character into the action. Anyone familiar with Jimmy Tatro (via Netflix’s American Vandal, ABC’s Home Economics, or his own YouTube channel) already knows that he’s perfected a certain incorrigible type: the 21st Century Slacker Bro Entrepreneur. If we’re talking generations, he’s a millennial with a Gen Z soul. Troy genuinely tries to live up to his mom’s legacy and connect with the kids, but they’re essentially living on different planets. But even though he’s a screwup who’s way out of his depth, he’s a straight shooter who just can’t give up on his optimism.
Authenticity in Their Bones: If you recruited all of the most intense kids at every middle school drama club in the Northeast for some sort of real life AdirondACTS and then made a documentary about it, I worry that it would quickly turn into a neurotic disaster. But I suspect that co-directors Molly Gordon and Nick Lieberman recreated the camp experience as much as they possibly could for their cast and crew, and the results speak for themselves. Every single role is so fully realized. There’s no question that each and every actor thought deeply about their characters’ allergies, tax returns, and dream journals. Sometimes, a movie just had to exist to capture a certain group of people, and Theater Camp is one of those movies.

Theater Camp is Recommended If You Like: Waiting for Guffman, Wet Hot American Summer

Grade: 4 out of 5 Spotlights

Winter is Coming, with ‘The YouTube Effect’

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Now Playing (CREDIT: Drafthouse Films/Kanopy)

Starring: YouTube

Director: Alex Winter

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: Not Rated

Release Date: July 7, 2023 (Theaters)

The YouTube Effect, the latest documentary from Alex Winter, is here to let us know that our most popular video-sharing website has had quite the devastating effect on humanity. Just how massive has that effect been? To quote Carl Sagan (who does not factor into this documentary at all), “Billions and billions.” While this is no great revelation, this state of affairs remains unnerving nonetheless. So what should we do? I for one will take inspiration from Winter’s most famous creation and suggest simply increasing the Iron Maiden-to-everything else ratio.

Grade: I Like Watching YouTube on the Big Screen (3 out of 5 Upvotes)

‘Insidious: The Red Door*’ Review (*Should We Say ‘Red Door’ the Way That Danny Torrance Says ‘Red Rum’?)

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What to Expect When You’re Insidious (CREDIT: Screen Gems)

Starring: Ty Simpkins, Patrick Wilson, Sinclair Daniel, Rose Byrne, Andrew Astor, Hiam Abbass, Lin Shaye

Director: Patrick Wilson

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: July 7, 2023 (Theaters)

As someone whose favorite color is red, I resent what the latest Insidious has to say about bloody-looking entryways. It literally demonizes red doors! (Or at least one red door in particular.) And then it blots it out with black, which was my favorite color when I was a youngster, but now I’m wary of it because it catches the sun’s rays thoroughly.

Anyway, I’m glad to see Patrick Wilson make his directorial debut, and I’m also happy that death couldn’t keep a certain someone from making a return appearance.

Grade: 2.5 Lams out of 5 Berts

‘Joy Ride’ Puts the Pedal to the Metal, But Does It Also Deliver the Laughs?

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They love to ride. (CREDIT: Ed Araquel/Lionsgate)

Starring: Ashley Park, Sherry Cola, Stephanie Hsu, Sabrina Wu

Director: Adele Lim

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Quick Outrageous Nudity and Non-Stop Outrageous Dialogue

Release Date: July 7, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Audrey (Ashley Park) and Lolo (Sherry Cola) have been inseparable besties since they met on the playground as kiddos. But now that they’re young adults, their lives have turned out a little differently. Audrey is a high-powered attorney, while Lolo is a struggling artist, and proud of it. When Audrey’s job sends her off to China to land a big new client (Ronny Chieng), it’s also an opportunity for her and Lolo to get in touch with their roots. Audrey was born in China and adopted by white American parents, while Lolo is a second-generation Asian American. The dynamics get a little bumpy along the way when they’re joined by Lolo’s awkward cousin Deadeye (Sabrina Wu) and rather snippy when they’re accompanied by Audrey’s college friend Kat (Stephanie Hsu). But these ladies are so horny and outrageous that shenanigans were always going to be part of the agenda. Amidst this whirlwind, will they somehow also have time to meet Audrey’s birth mother?

What Made an Impression?: Asians Represent: Joy Ride is at its strongest when interrogating what it means to these characters to be Asian American and exist within the wider Asian cultural world in general. The endearing opening scene features Audrey’s parents (David Denman, Annie Mumolo) asking Lolo’s mom and dad if their little girl is Chinese. It’s obviously an uncomfortable question to field from random white people, until they see the little Asian girl hiding behind them. Similar fun is had when the girls land in China, and Lolo runs through a taxonomy of various Asian people, along with a harried warning not to confuse the visiting Koreans with the home citizens.
Coming in Hot: The Joy Ride crew aims for a “girls can just be as gross as the guys!” ethos, which is a valiant enough goal. But I fear that the outrageous-to-funny ratio might have been zapped up way too far in one direction. Your mileage may vary, but I found myself exhausted much more often than I was laughing. Maybe it was just a weird day for me, and perhaps the chuckles could come on a more receptive moment. Nevertheless, I appreciate the effort, and the uniqueness therein. After all, what other movie in this genre would have retired NBA All-Star Baron Davis show up as himself to save the day?
Tattoo You: While the outrageousness wasn’t always working for me in the humor department, I couldn’t help but be struck by a recurring gag about a tattoo on a very sensitive area of Kat’s anatomy. There’s constant speculation from the others about the ink’s design, and the eventual reveal certainly doesn’t flinch. How much it makes you laugh will depend on your sensibilities, but no matter what, it delivers plenty of cosmic energy.
A Sight for Sore Eyes: Joy Ride and I are on the same wavelength when it settles down and lets its character truly take stock of their situations. And in one of those moments, a familiar actor shows up in a surprise role and really brings the emotion home. I won’t spoil who exactly that is (though you can certainly look it up online if you’re happy to be teased), though I will say that this person delivers exactly what is needed with wisdom and grace.

Joy Ride is Recommended If You Like: Mining quarter-life crises for comedy, K-pop, Getting sloppy 24/7

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Tattoos

It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and ‘Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One’ Feels Fine

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Which one’s Dead and which one’s Reckoning? (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Skydance)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Esai Morales, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Vanessa Kirby, Henry Czerny, Pom Klementieff, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Running Time: 163 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for A Reckless Relationship with Gravity

Release Date: July 12, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: This might just be the most impossible mission yet! That may sound like hyperbole for a series that’s famously death-defying, but honestly it lives up to the hype. Ethan Hunt (the freakishly indefatigable Tom Cruise) and his pared-down IMF team must somehow figure out how to dispatch a new enemy that threatens to wipe out humanity as we know it by reverting society to an analog dystopia. Of course, that premise is just a setup for the shameless stunts and sizzling globetrotting. In addition to this all-encompassing terror, Ethan is also being chased down by some law enforcement types who aren’t so sure he should be able to operate without impunity anymore.

What Made an Impression?: What’s All This Now?: The Mission: Impossible series combines elements of espionage, big budgets extravaganza, and practical stunt work, all genres that are notorious for being accompanied by nonsensical plots. And Dead Reckoning Part One might just be the nonsensical one yet! As far as I could tell, the enemy wasn’t exactly human, but it could take human form. Or maybe I misunderstood that. But I don’t think I did! The opening scene provided a very thorough explanation, after all. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that Esai Morales plays the villain in question, but confusion still lingered with me by the end. If you find yourself just as confused as I was, you can still enjoy the movie, though you’ll also probably find yourself mulling it over more than you need to.
New and Old, Which One’s New?: In terms of character carryover, Mission: Impossible is kind of like the hall-of-mirrors version of Fast & Furious, if some of those mirrors were covered by blackout blinds. In addition to Cruise as Hunt, you can rely on Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg to be there as his regular IMF buddies. But on the flip side, you could have a love interest like M:I 3‘s Michelle Monagahn just unceremoniously disappear. There’s also a little bit of room for new favorites like Rebecca Ferguson and Vanessa Kirby to remain after their initial appearances, and for new recruits like Hayley Atwell to seamlessly find their place. And we can even reach way back for originals like Henry Czerny who were there in the beginning but have taken most of the sequels off, and you can be tricked into thinking that they’ve been there all along. Basically, the casting in this franchise is a magic act.
So Much Delivered, So Much More to Come
: But let’s finally get down to the bread and butter. The best setpieces all involve a climactic train ride. There’s a cliffside jump to arrive on the train, fights within and outside the train, and a desperate scramble to stay alive and not fall off the train. Before that choo-choo checks in, you might actually wonder what’s taking so long for Dead Reckoning to go for broke as much as usual. But once it does, the massively wound ball of tension lets loose and doesn’t give you any time to catch your breath. And this is just Part One! A nearly three-hour opening chapter, after that. (Or the first half of the seventh chapter, from another point of view.) This is just the latest 2023 blockbuster that forces you to wait another year for the end of the story, but you won’t feel deprived. Dead Reckoning Part One can stand fully on its own, and quite frankly, you’ll need all those extra months to recover.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One is Recommended If You Like: Saying “Huh?” and “Woo-hoo!” at the same time

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Trains

‘Indiana Jones’ and Some Thoughts About Destiny

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Destiny. Why did it have to be destiny? (CREDIT: Lucasfilm/Screenshot)

Starring: Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Boyd Holbrook, Shaunette Renée Wilson, Antonio Banderas, Toby Jones, Ethann Isidore, Jonathan Rhys Davies, Thomas Kretschmann

Director: James Mangold

Running Time: 154 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

I genuinely believe that it was my destiny to see Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. But what exactly did that destiny look like? Not all that much like the late 60s in particular, except for when “Magical Mystery Tour” blared out of the speakers. I think there should have been more Space Race vibes, probably. Anyway, everybody seemed to be having fun running around. They certainly had some adventures I bet they’ll never forget! I also would have recommended drawing out the scorpion scene.

Grade: Adjust the Coordinates a Little Bit

I’m Feeling ‘Elemental’

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Like Water for Fire (CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot)

Starring: Leah Lewis, Mamoudou Athie, Ronnie del Carmen, Shila Ommi, Wendi McClendon-Covey, Catherine O’Hara

Director: Peter Sohn

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 16, 2023 (Theaters)

For someone who often reviews movies by asking, “Do I want to be/do what’s in the movie?,” Elemental is a dream come true! A love story between a Fire Person and a Water Creature? Yes, please! Personally, I always feel like I’ve got flames and waterfalls swirling around inside myself. So maybe what I really want is a love story between two fire-water hybrids? In the meantime, though, this works perfectly well enough.

P.S.: Fern Joe Pera talks with us about bureaucracy.

Grade: 4 Conflagrations out of 5 Cascades/4 Monsoons out of 5 Blazes

‘Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken’ Explores What It’s Like to Be a Sea Monster Family Living Amongst the Humans

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What’s Kraken? (CREDIT: DreamWorks)

Starring: Lana Condor, Toni Collette, Jane Fonda, Annie Murphy, Sam Richardson, Colman Domingo, Jaboukie Young-White, Liza Koshy, Blue Chapman, Eduardo Franco, Ramona Young

Director: Kirk DeMicco

Running Time: 91 Minutes

Rating: PG for Colorful, Town-Upending Sea Creature Battles

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: 15-year-old Ruby Gillman (Lana Condor) lives with her parents and younger brother in the oceanside town of Oceanside, but she’s not allowed to ever go in the water. She soon discovers why, as an impromptu attempt to save her crush from drowning results in her blowing up into a certain gigantic legendary sea creature. As it turns out, her mom Agatha (Toni Collette) chose to raise her kids on dry land to escape the eternal underwater struggle for power. But once Ruby discovers that her grandmother (Jane Fonda), who insists on being called “Grandmamah,” emphasis on the last syllable, is the Warrior Queen of the Seven Seas, she happily embraces her royal heritage. On top of all that, Ruby becomes fast friends with a new girl in town who’s also a mermaid (Annie Murphy), whose eagerness to please might just merit a little skepticism.

What Made an Impression?: Oh, Canada, That Explains Everything: One gag that I wish Ruby Gillman had leaned on a little harder is the Gillman family cover story. They’re non-human creatures living amongst humans, so they explain away their cerulean hue and swishy physicality by insisting that they’re from Canada. It’s like the Coneheads saying that they’re from France: there was nothing particularly French about those SNL aliens, just as there’s nothing particularly maple-filled aboot these krakens. But it’s delightful to witness their neighbors accept that claim at face value. Instead of serving as a running gag, though, it’s just an appetizer to the fantastical adventure.
It Runs in the Family: With its transformational premise, you’d think that Ruby Gillman is primarily a metaphor about adolescence, and I suppose it is. But what struck me more was the focus on conflicting parenting philosophies. Or rather, accidentally similar mothering despite a concerted effort to avoid the previous generation’s mistakes. Agatha appears to be much more sensitive to Ruby’s predicament than Grandmamah ever was to her, but she’s also just as insistent that her kids must live a particular way. In a key scene, Fonda and Collette throw down in a tête-à-tête that illuminates the importance of granting grace to our family members, especially in the face of a wider threat.
Where There’s a Will: Ruby Gillman brings the comic relief in the form of some reliable yukmeisters. First, there’s Sam Richardson as Agatha’s eternally positive brother Brill, and then especially, the good humor cranks up when Will Forte makes waves as the wary but determined old sailor Gordon Lighthouse. This is the sort of character whose maiden is the sea, as he devotes himself to hunting down underwater creatures with Ahab-like devotion. Forte excels at these types who exist on the fringes of society, and he’s a welcome joy to leaven the scary-by-PG-standards action.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is Recommended If You: Suspect that mermaids are hiding something

Grade: 3 out of 5 Tentacles

‘Every Body’ is an Essential Documentary About the Intersex Community

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Every Body, EVERY Body, Every Body, EVERY Body (CREDIT: Courtesy of FOCUS FEATURES / © 2023 FOCUS FEATURES LLC)

Starring: River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, Sean Saifa Wall

Director: Julie Cohen

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Little Bit of Language and Nude Images

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Perhaps the least widely understood letter in the acronym LGBTQIA is the “I.” It stands for “intersex,” which refers to individuals with biological sex characteristics that don’t fit neatly into the male/female binary. It’s estimated that about 1.7% of the population have some sort of intersex characteristics. In some cases, those traits may remain undetected, but in others, surgery may happen to confirm a particular sex assignment. The documentary Every Body focuses on the stories of three intersex individuals (River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, Sean Saifa Wall) of varying physical appearance and gender identity to posit that maybe the treatment of intersex people shouldn’t be as one-size-fits-all as it has historically been.

What Made an Impression?: Gender Reveal Pandemonium: Every Body opens with a montage of gender reveal parties and their elaborate, often violent methods of introducing a coming baby’s identity. The sequence is matter-of-factly over-the-top, even without showing some of the most notoriously destructive examples of this phenomenon. The point is that society is so focused on gender, often to a comical extreme, which ultimately leads to the suggestion that ultimately maybe we could settle down a bit and replace these gender reveals with the theoretically simpler alternative of “human reveal parties.”
An Infamous Case: Perhaps the most crucial sequence of Every Body involves River, Alicia, and Sean being introduced to the story of one of the most well-known intersex persons, who actually wasn’t intersex at all. Born in 1965, David Reimer’s penis was mutilated when he was a baby by a botched circumcision. Reconstructive surgery was pretty much nonexistent at the time, so his mother followed the teachings of psychologist John Money, who believed that gender identity could be conditioned through behavioral intervention. So David was raised as a girl, but his fundamental boyhood couldn’t hide for very long. His story is presented here mostly in the form of an old Dateline episode, but his story remains vital, and the added context of everyone’s reactions justify its conclusion.
Getting to Know Them: A documentary like this one is only as compelling as its subjects, and on that score, River, Alicia, and Sean are interesting and inviting individuals. Their viewpoints of the intersex parts of their identity are deeply and firmly considered, and they’re happy to explain themselves to a cinematic audience. And chances are you’ll also be happy to start a parasocial relationship with them.

Every Body is Recommended If You Like: The concept of cura personalis

Grade: 4 out of 5 Humans

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