‘The Black Phone’ is Calling: Do You Answer It, or Take the Call From ‘Elvis’?

3 Comments

CREDIT: Fred Norris/Universal Pictures; Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot

The Black Phone:

Starring: Mason Thames, Ethan Hawke, Madeleine McGraw, Jeremy Davies, E. Roger Mitchell, Troy Rudeseal, James Ransone

Director: Scott Derrickson

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: R for Brutal Home Lives and Bloody Escapes

Release Date: June 24, 2022 (Theaters)

Elvis:

Starring: Austin Butler, Tom Hanks, Helen Thomson, Richard Roxburgh, Olivia DeJonge

Director: Baz Luhrmann

Running Time: 159 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Rock Star Excess and Rock Fan Excess

Release Date: June 24, 2022 (Theaters)

I recently saw The Black Phone and Elvis on consecutive days, so it’s time for another two-for-one movie review! Do these two flicks have anything in common besides opening in theaters on the same day? Well, they’re both kind of overwhelming in their own particular ways. If you’re like me and enjoy any and every cinematic genre, you might be struggling to figure out which of these to prioritize this weekend, or maybe you’re planning to make time for both of them. So I’ll go ahead and let you know what I think while throwing in a bit of comparing/contrasting, and hopefully that’ll give you a bit of a confidence boost.

More

Wondering Where All the Whimsy Went? Watch ‘Marcel the Shell with Shoes On’ and Find Out

1 Comment

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Jenny Slate, Dean Fleischer-Camp, Isabella Rossellini, Rosa Salazar, Thomas Mann, Lesley Stahl

Director: Dean Fleischer-Camp

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: PG for A Few Arguments and Brushes with Mortality

Release Date: June 24, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: While staying at an Airbnb, a documentary filmmaker (director Dean Fleischer-Camp as himself) makes a fascinating discovery: one inch-tall anthropomorphic shell Marcel (Jenny Slate) and his grandmother Connie (Isabella Rossellini. They’ve been living in the house for as long as they can remember amidst a rotating door of human roommates. Dean is so taken by Marcel and his unique worldview that he uploads footage of him to YouTube. It immediately becomes the most viral thing on the Internet, which leads Marcel to wonder if this is the perfect opportunity to track down his missing family members, who were removed from the house during an incident a couple of years earlier. Luckily for Marcel, his story attracts the attention of his beloved 60 Minutes, whose crew is excited to interview him and investigate any leads related to his family. But is Marcel truly ready to venture out into the wider world?

What Made an Impression?: Marcel originated as a 3-minute video that Slate and Fleischer-Camp posted onto YouTube back in 2010, just a few months after her one and only season on Saturday Night Live. At the time it was a boon for her career (which has continued to chug along steadily in the decade-plus since), but it never seemed like it was anything more than a one-off goof, at least not from my vantage point. Who could ever have thought that something so whimsical and (literally) lightweight could ever bear the weight of a feature-length story? Well apparently, Slate and Fleischer-Camp thought it could, and I’m glad they believed, because I’m now obligated to report that Marcel the Shell with Shoes On is absolutely delightful.

What really holds it all together is the fact that nobody ever questions the existence of Marcel and his family. They’re a little surprised and plenty entertained, but the world is just profoundly accepting of the fact that creatures like this can exist. And why wouldn’t you be, when they’re just so guileless and openhearted? He might be small in stature, but a visit from Marcel is like a big hug from the universe reminding you that true wonderment is still possible. Also, investigative journalism is a big deal to plenty of people for good reason. To paraphrase a certain superhero classic, you’ll believe a man can be a shell.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On is Recommended If You Like: Aardman Animation, Grey Gardens, Documentary Now!

Grade: 4 out of 5 YouTube Views

Back to Tribeca, 2022 Edition

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival

Good news for people who like film festivals: the Tribeca variety was held once again in- New York City (and virtually) in 2022! When I attend, I like to select offerings that I probably wouldn’t watch otherwise. So this time around, those turned out to be a very 21st century tale of intellectual property theft, an Israeli middle age domestic drama, a short capturing the urgent demands of our bodily functions, and a documentary about one of the most beloved children’s shows of all time. Let’s take a closer look at each.

More

Does ‘Lightyear’ Come to Our Rescue?

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot

Starring: Chris Evans, Keke Palmer, Peter Sohn, Uzo Aduba, Taika Waititi, Dale Soules, Isiah Whitlock Jr., James Brolin

Director: Angus MacLane

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 17, 2022 (Theaters)

I went ahead and saw Lightyear with my dad on the day before Father’s Day. You can certainly celebrate Father’s Day all weekend, after all! I think I also saw the first two Toy Storys with my dad (plus the rest of my immediate family) way back when, so this was a pretty cool way to sequelize that. As the credits were playing, I scrolled through the RunPee app, and then I explained to my dad what RunPee is. Kind of funny that he’s never heard about it before now even though it’s been around for years. That must’ve been what it was like for Buzz Lightyear when the other characters explained how he was affected by all the time dilation. I enjoy cinematic discussions about time dilation! (Even if they don’t hold up to the scrutiny of real-life physics.) The robot cat was also pretty cool, even though he wasn’t terribly feline.

Grade: 400 Lightyears out of 300 Rescues

‘Poser’ Combines Midwest Music, Podcasts, and Surreal Anxiety

Leave a comment

POSER (CREDIT: Oscilloscope Laboratories)

Starring: Sylvie Mix, Bobbi Kitten, Abdul Seidu, Rachel Keefe, Z-Wolf

Directors: Ori Segev and Noah Dixon

Running Time: 87 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (It would probably be PG-13 if it were rated)

Release Date: June 3, 2022 (Columbus, Ohio)/June 17, 2022 (New York and Los Angeles)

What’s It About?: A young woman in Columbus, Ohio named Lennon (Sylvie Mix) is really, really into the local music scene. So much so that she decides to start a podcast about it! Pretty much everybody is hosting a podcast nowadays, so why not, right? Furthermore, she’s a bit of an introvert, so this is a way for her to get in on the action that agrees with her constitution. But will she be able to actually book anyone for an interview? It doesn’t look particularly promising at first, but then she strikes up a rapport with Bobbi Kitten (playing herself), although things soon take a dark turn…

What Made an Impression?: This one will probably appeal most to folks who live in or around Columbus (and maybe other areas of the Midwest). A good chunk of the cast is made up of musicians from the area playing themselves. So if you’re into the scene, you’ll surely recognize things that I – a person who has never set foot in Ohio – had absolutely no idea about. Or maybe you’ll be annoyed by it all and think that this movie really lives up to its title! Either way, you’ll probably have more of an emotional reaction than I did.

As for what I did react to, there’s a moment when Lennon and Bobbi are hanging out with their hair dyed blue and pink, respectively, and I yelled to myself, “How can I tell them apart?!” Obviously, I was joking, as it was in fact quite easy to differentiate them, but that moment speaks to how their identities kind of start to fold in on each other. In a way, Poser is like a low-key 21st century indie version of Ingmar Bergman’s Persona, in which an actress and a nurse merge psychologically. It didn’t quite get under my skin as much as that Swedish classic, but it does have a bit of that stick-in-your-craw energy.

Poser is Recommended If You Like: Bright hair colors in dimly lit industrial landscapes

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Music Podcasts

Does ‘Brian and Charles’ Earn a Spot in the Robot Friend Canon?

1 Comment

Brian and Charles (CREDIT: Focus Features)

Starring: David Earl, Chris Hayward, Louise Brealey, Jamie Michie, Nina Sosanya, Lynn Hunter, Lowri Izzard, Mari Izzard

Director: Jim Archer

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (PG-level, But Maybe a Little Dark for Young Kids)

Release Date: June 17, 2022 (Theaters)

Sometimes when I’m watching a movie, I like to ask myself, “Would I want to live in this world?” That’s certainly not a requirement for a movie to be good, as there have been plenty of fascinating dystopias or gripping recollections of trauma. But if I’m going to spend at least an hour and a half or so in some fictional land, then it usually helps if it’s pleasant. And “pleasant” is certainly one way to accurately describe Brian and Charles. You could also call it charming, even! A rural Welsh fellow (that’s Brian, played by David Earl) builds a robot out of a washing machine and other random household items (that would be Charles, voiced by Chris Hayward) who inexplicably comes to life one day, Frosty the Snowman-style. I mean, how could I possibly resist?

This is low-key sci-fi, which is to say: no scientific explanation is given about how Charles comes to life. (By the way, he comes complete with a last name – “Petrescu” – that I’m fairly certain is NOT also Brian’s last name.) I suppose, then, given the lack of thorough details regarding the generative process, we should maybe instead call it low-key fantasy. But that would imply the presence of magic or some other supernatural force, and it’s not clear that that is what’s going on either. Whether low-key sci-fi or low-key fantasy, you almost feel like this whole turn of events could really happen. And that’s certainly fine with me, because I’d kind of like my own Charles Petrescu!

Much of Brian and Charles is conflict-free and narrative-light, which generally works in its favor. I’m a sucker for robots or other fish-out-of-water types learning about the vagaries of modern society while being gently guided along by their best buds, after all. There is a bit of a dark turn in the final act, as Brian has to confront a bully, which is a bummer certainly, but at least it tracks logically, as he is a rather meek fellow. And the resolution is lovely, what with Charles there to offer both ingenuity and emotional support. Simply put, Brian and Charles offers plenty of charisma in a uniquely offbeat and modest manner.

Brian and Charles is Recommended If You Like: What We Do in the Shadows, Pinocchio, A surprise rap during the end credits

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Cabbages

‘Jurassic World: Dominion’ Takes it Worldwide

1 Comment

Jurassic World Dominion (CREDIT: John Wilson/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill, DeWanda Wise, Mamoudou Athie, BD Wong, Omar Sy, Isabella Sermon, Campbell Scott, Justice Smith

Director: Colin Trevorrow

Running Time: 146 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Intense Dino Chomps

Release Date: June 10, 2022

What would happen if dinosaurs came back to life and then spread out all over the world? Dr. Ian Malcolm would crack jokes about it, you can be sure of that! Of course, that’s what always happens whenever Jeff Goldblum is in a Jurassic Park/World movie, even when the dino habitat is more contained. And that really illuminates how Dominion is just like any other movie in this series. It contains all the typical narrow escapes from T-Rexes and velociraptors, just with some Indiana Jones-style globetrotting thrown in. There’s at least a hint at first that things will be different this time around, as an opening news report seems to indicate that we’re in store for a probing examination about the global consequences of Arrogant Science Run Amok. But instead we mostly get everyone chasing after a MacGuffin. That’s understandable, because the MacGuffin is also one of the main characters. But still, the appeal of Dominion can be boiled down to: A Bigger Scale, But Also Everything is the Same.

More

Watch Out!* Here Comes ‘The Phantom of the Open’! (*I Should’ve Said ‘Fore,’ Obviously)

Leave a comment

The Phantom of the Open (CREDIT: Sony Pictures Classics/Screenshot)

Starring: Mark Rylance, Sally Hawkins, Rhys Ifans, Jake Davies, Christian Lees, Jonah Lees

Director: Craig Roberts

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 3, 2022 (Theaters)

Twice while watching The Phantom of the Open I violently kicked my leg forward as a reflexive response to some frightening golf shots. Luckily nobody was sitting in front of me, and the theater had been recently renovated so the seat had no trouble surviving the impact. On the first occasion, Maurice Flitcroft (Mark Rylance) missed a close putt (and then three more immediately afterwards!), and in the second case, his ball hard-sliced right into a camera lens. Those are the kinds of moments you expect in a biopic about a guy who somehow managed to play in the oldest golf tournament in the world despite having basically zero previous golf experience! But you don’t necessarily expect those moments to be thrilling and so satisfying. And yet that’s what they were, as they helped to peel away the suffocation of the game’s exclusivity and assured us that it would all end up okay.

Grade: 100 Bogeys out of One Birdie (Attempt)

Who Watches ‘Watcher’? Should It Be You? Let’s Find Out!

1 Comment

Watcher (CREDIT: IFC Midnight)

Starring: Maika Monroe, Karl Glusman, Burn Gorman

Director: Chloe Okuno

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: R for A Bit of Blood and a Tease of Sex

Release Date: June 3, 2022 (Theaters)

First she was being followed, now she’s being watched! And come to think of it, that watching also involves plenty of following. Maika Monroe just can’t catch a break! In the past decade, she’s kind of established herself as a go-to scream queen for creepy flicks that prey on our most elemental fears. As It Follows demonstrated, it’s no fun to be stalked, and now as Watcher makes abundantly clear, voyeurism isn’t so hot either. It’s also extra unnerving when you’re feeling kind of lonely in a new country where you don’t speak the native language, which is what Monroe’s character Julia experiences. This is a simple fear, and Watcher keeps it simple through and through.

When Julia arrives in her husband Francis’ (Karl Glusman) native Romania, you can tell she’s a little anxious, but the picture doesn’t look so bad at first. The passion is certainly there, if a hot and heavy living room makeout session that plays like the Skinemax version of Rear Window is any indication. That romantic interlude is undercut a bit by the fact that there’s a bit of a Peeping Tom named Daniel (Burn Gorman) in the vicinity, although his peeks into his neighbors’ lives appear to be relatively innocent at first. But soon enough, he seems to be lurking in Julia’s path at the grocery store, movie theater, and pretty much anywhere else she’s hanging out.

With his sunken eyes, oily hair, and slenderman-esque skin tone, Gorman is pretty much the perfect guy to play the local creep. It’s almost like oil is oozing out of every pore of his body. I hope that’s not coming off too harsh, because I also think that Gorman is handsome in a “modest English gentleman” sort of way. But I suspect that he knows the offputting stereotype he can tap into, thus (I imagine) why he accepted this part. Perhaps Julia has similar conflicting feelings about Daniel. After she reports his ostensibly threatening behavior to the police, he calls them in turn to report her for pretty much the exact same thing. Is this all just one big misunderstanding? Is Julia going loopy from spending so much time at home alone and having her mind become permanently lost in translation?

We get a pretty straightforward answer to those questions in the explosive climax, which is quite viscerally thrilling. Although, it all escalates rather abruptly and then peaces out just as quickly, so you don’t get a whole lot of time to process the worst of it. I’m thus tempted to ding Watcher for being a little bottom-heavy. But I’m not ready to definitively do that, as I’m writing this review less than 24 hours after my viewing. Maybe one day, I’ll find myself cooped up in some strange new home just like Julia and wonder who’s watching me…

Watcher is Recommended If You Like: It Follows, Rear Window, Lost in Translation, The thriller subgenre of women being told that they’re losing their minds

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Windows

 

David Cronenberg Looks Back, Ahead, Inward, and Outward with These Here ‘Crimes of the Future’

1 Comment

Crimes of the Future (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, Kristen Stewart, Don McKellar, Scott Speedman

Director: David Cronenberg

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R for Body Horror at Its Finest

Release Date: June 3, 2022 (Theaters)

Who’s ready to party like it’s 1983 and strap in for some vintage David Cronenberg? Of course, the answer to that question is: Everybody! Alas, though, maybe not. We Cronenberg-heads are in fact a select breed. But there are enough of us that the arrival of Crimes of the Future in 2022 is cause for celebration as we harken back to the director’s 70s/80s bodily manipulation heyday. It even has the same name as one of Cronenberg’s earliest features! Despite that shared moniker, be forewarned that this isn’t a remake. I haven’t seen the previous Crimes, but based on the synopsis, it seems pretty clear that they don’t really have anything to do with each other, beyond the fact that Cronenberg envisions multiple ways to run afoul of the law in the coming dystopias.

The premise is both straightforward, and completely bizarre. Performance artist couple Saul and Caprice (Viggo Mortensen and Léa Seydoux) have a regular live stage show in which they grow and remove new organs in Saul’s body. Meanwhile, a subculture has developed around evolving the human body to be able to eat plastic (with delicious-looking purple candy bars aplenty). Okay, maybe that premise is straightforward only if you’re already a permanent resident of Cronenberg World. But the filmmaking coaxes you into thinking that all this is normal, starting with the opening scene of Saul hanging out at home in a newfangled hammock to recover from all that organ removal. Watch out, though, because here comes Kristen Stewart and Don McKellar on hand as a couple of “National Organ Registry” investigators to indicate that maybe this isn’t the most advisable practice around. But pretty much anyone who’s skeptical ends up getting seduced at some point in a sleekly sexy sort of way.

This is exactly the sort of vision that Cronenberg originally established his reputation on. It’s been a while, though, since he’s made something within this classic vein, even as he’s been steadily working every decade for the last 50-plus years. It’s a joy just to be immersed in something this trippy and transportative, even if the central mystery plot is a little hard to parse.  But I can forgive that thanks to the strength of the world building.

The major, somewhat disturbing, difference this time around compared to Cronenberg’s breakthrough classics is the cinematography. The bumpy film stocks of yore imbued the likes of Rabid and The Brood with a vibe that they’d been illicitly smuggled into cinemas, whereas the digital cleanness of Crimes gives off a sense that we’re home and safe among friends. But we’re not home, unless your last name is Frankenstein. Just as Videodrome cried out “Long live the new flesh,” Crimes of the Future declares “Surgery is the new sex,” and we’re all going to have to deal with that as best as we see fit.

Crimes of the Future (2022) is Recommended If You Like: Classic David Cronenberg (He’s back, baby!)

Grade: 4 out of 5 Organs

Older Entries Newer Entries