Does ‘Clown in a Cornfield’ Amuse Me?

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Happy Founders Day! (CREDIT: Shudder/Screenshot)

Starring: Katie Douglas, Aaron Abrams, Carson MacCormac, Kevin Durand, Will Sasso, Vincent Muller, Cassandra Potenza, Verity Marks, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin, Daina Leitold, Jean-Jacques Javier, Bradley Sawatzky, Dylan McEwan, Kaitlyn Bacon, Samantha Hutchings

Director: Eli Craig

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)

Now that I’ve watched Clown in a Cornfield, it’s time to answer the question: would I like to live in a town filled with Frendos? And the answer is: absolutely!

Perhaps that response surprises you, because you never thought that I had a death wish. And you’d be right in that regard. Although perhaps you’ve reasoned that I’ve surmised I would be safe from the massacre since I’m no longer a doofus high schooler. This is all mighty fine deduction, but here’s the thing: I never said I wanted to live among murderous Frendos.

So yeah, as long as we can remove the impalings and the decapitations, then Kettle Springs, Missouri looks like a perfectly idyllic location to inhale some burgers and milkshakes at the local diner and go for a parade. (I also liked it when Mandy’s dad from Georgie & Mandy showed up.)

Grade: 3 Viral Videos out of ⅕ of a Tragic Mom Backstory

Please, One More Reckoning Before We Go! Okay, But This is ‘Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning’

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The Impossible Man (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Skydance)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Esai Morales, Pom Klementieff, Henry Czerny, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Nick Offerman, Hannah Waddingham, Tramell Tillman, Angela Bassett, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis, Charles Parnell, Mark Gatiss, Rolf Saxon, Lucy Tulugarjuk

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Running Time: 169 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Near-Death Experiences

Release Date: May 23, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s all come down to this. All those previous impossible missions that Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) pulled off over the decades? We thought they were more or less self-contained. But instead, it turns out that they were all part of a vast global conspiracy to sow widespread confusion and establish a new world order. This is set to be established by an artificial intelligence entity known as, in fact, “The Entity.” It is apparently going to accomplish this by infecting every connected device on the planet and then – as far as I can tell – launching every nuclear weapon and also just generally making everyone distrustful of everyone else. Some guy named Gabriel (Esai Morales) is trying to usher The Entity along to its destiny, while Ethan and his IMF crew attempt to do the opposite with their precision timing and the latest batch of stakes-raising, death-defying stunts.

What Made an Impression?: They’ve Got So Much to Say: The Final Reckoning definitely gives off end-of-the-series vibes, although I’m sure Cruise and the rest of the creative team are open to future installments for as long as he remains ageless. In the meantime, though, this chapter definitely closes the book on something. And it’s a big ol’ slam, clocking in at nearly three hours. Those minutes are filled with a trio of major set pieces, and plenty of talking in between about how those set pieces will be accomplished. And when I say “plenty,” I mean, “oh so very many plenty.” I really don’t think there needed to be this much dialogue for such an action-oriented flick. That’s not to say that the Mission: Impossible flicks ought to be silent (although that might be kind of cool if they were), but I personally would have advised a sleeker design.
Hey, Remember Those Times Way Back When?: When it comes to long-running action series, M:I is kind of the antithesis of Fast & Furious, insofar as the former sheds several of its supporting characters in between installments without any fanfare, whereas the latter seems to just collecting them for perpetuity until it’s bursting at the seams. To be fair, there are still a few IMF mainstays hanging around, although Ethan’s female counterparts have a tendency to disappear no matter how beloved they are by fans. The Final Reckoning takes a somewhat different approach by explicitly drawing upon some of the earlier entries in ways that would have felt impossible just a few years earlier. And that’s kind of thrilling for those of us whose favorite M:I chapters seemed like they’d been completely forgotten.
Timely Gobbledygook: Cautionary tales about artificial intelligence are so hot right now. But frankly The Entity doesn’t have anything to do with any real-life A.I. On the contrary, it’s just a profoundly vague MacGuffin. Or should I call it the villain? Can the MacGuffin be the villain? I think it is in this case. Anyway, it’s all just an excuse for the most baroque modern blockbuster action around, so whatever.

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning is Recommended If You Like: Parking your butt while the obsessive man does his thing

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Entities

What to Make of Friendship When It’s Between Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd

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sinking or swimming? (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Tim Robinson, Paul Rudd, Kate Mara, Jack Dylan Grazer, Josh Segarra, Billy Bryk, Jason Veasey, Jon Glaser, Eric Rahill, Connor O’Malley, Carmen Christopher, Craig Frank, Omar Torres, Jacob Ming-Trent, Daniel London, Whitmer Thomas, Raphael Sbarge, Ivy Wolk, Meredith Garretson

Director: Andrew DeYoung

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R for Questionable Language and Some Strange Trips

Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Craig Waterman (Tim Robinson) doesn’t have many close friends. Or any friends at all really. He does at least have his wife Tami (Kate Mara) and teenage son Steven (Jack Dylan Grazer) to keep him company, although they’re usually busy doing their own thing each night while he just sits around and stares at his phone. But then one day, Tami encourages him to go hang out with their new neighbor, local weatherman Austin Carmichael (Paul Rudd), and it’s like a new portal of transcendent male bonding has been opened. Everything is going just sublimely, that is, until Craig meets Austin’s other friends and makes an absurdly terrible impression on them. Austin quickly insists that the friendship is now terminated, but once you’ve connected with Craig, that impression doesn’t go away so easily. As Craig does his bizarre best to hold on, his entire life threatens to spiral apart completely.

What Made an Impression?: What To Do If You Think You Should Leave: If you’re most familiar with Tim Robinson via his demented Netflix sketch show I Think You Should Leave, then you should definitely know that Friendship is essentially a feature-length ITYSL routine. Which leads us to quite the existential conundrum: what is the base level of unhinged in this reality? Craig is unsurprisingly more divergent than anyone else, but it’s not as if Austin is as put-together as he always presents himself. And what are we to make of Craig’s family’s casual acceptance of his eccentricities? Is he the same man that Tami married all those years ago? Does Steven see this as normal (or at least semi-normal) behavior because he’s simply never had any other dad? They occasionally express frustration when he goes too far, but in general they’re on his side. Or at least, they’re much more on his side than you might expect. And honestly, that’s kind of sweet. But also concerning. But also weirdly heartwarming considering the context.
A Fair Warning, Though: Counterpoint to that last paragraph: Craig does act illegally on multiple occasions, mostly in the form of trespassing. He also has a major meltdown in front of a big client at his marketing gig. Quite frankly, it’s a wonder he’s managed to hold on to a job or maintain any place in society for as long as he has. But also, this is a world where people keep saying “this new Marvel” or “that new Marvel” instead of specifying the actual title of the movie they’re talking about, so who knows what’s what?
Where Are We?: One of the key plot drivers of Friendship is a series of packages addressed to Austin mistakenly ending up in the Waterman driveway. The camera lets us see the labels, revealing that this town is “Clovis, USA” – no state provided. So where is Clovis, you might ask? (I certainly did.) Well, it appears that there are Clovises in California and New Mexico, but the zip code on the label is 06437, which puts us in Connecticut. But I wasn’t getting Constitution State vibes from this movie. Although, I wasn’t getting Opposite of Connecticut vibes either. Instead, I was mostly getting Nowheresville Purgatory vibes.
What? A Trip?: At one point, Craig licks a venomous toad to go on a hallucinogenic journey. And he does in fact take off to another plane of existence, but it’s pretty mundane and bogus, although also strangely amusing. That bluntly quirky Interruptus sums up the whole package.

Friendship is Recommended If You Like: Questioning everything

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Marvels

The One Weird Curse of ‘Rosario’

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Rosario, are you okay? (CREDIT: Screenshot)

Starring: Emeraude Toubia, José Zúñiga, David Dastmalchian, Paul Ben-Victor, Diana Lein, Emilia Faucher, Constanza Gutierrez

Director: Felipe Vargas

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: May 2, 2025 (Theaters)

Rosario is a fairly typical curse-based horror movie, as a greedy spirit comes to collect what it’s been promised upon the passing of the title character’s (Emeraude Toubia) grandmother in her Brooklyn apartment in the middle of a massive snowstorm. This one’s a bit unique insofar as it’s based on the Palo religion, which arose from African traditions mixed with Catholicism. There are some boos here and there, some family trauma over there. You get the picture.

But the moment I knew that Rosario was really cursed was when she tried to skedaddle out of abuela’s and back on to the subway, only to have some off-screen authority figure bellow at her, “Subway’s closed!” What in the NYC mirror universe?! This is the famous City That Never Sleeps that we’re talking about. Sure, a blizzard might cause a delay or two, but you’re not a true Big Apple if you haven’t waited two hours for a train. I can deal with creepy grandmas, but a fully suspended subway system? I’m still catching my breath.

Grade: You’ll Never Forget Your First Communion

‘Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie’ Leaves a Lasting Impression

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Tom and Rich (CREDIT: Screenshot)

Starring: Thomas B. Kin Chong, Richard “Cheech” Marin

Director: David L. Bushell

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)

Will Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie live up to the promise of its title? Well, not for me, because this is in fact the first Cheech & Chong movie I’ve ever seen. Although, I suppose it is possible that I could go the rest of my days without checking out any of their previous co-starring features. But that’s definitely less likely at this point! Promoting the totality of your career certainly isn’t a terrible idea for a documentary, I must say. Especially if it’s tinged with bittersweetness (emphasis on “bitter”) that’ll leave viewers feeling “Hmm.”

Grade: 2 Blunts out of 3 Legacies

‘Warfare’ Leading to ‘The Amateur’

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A Warfarer and an Amateur (CREDIT: A24; 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)

Warfare

Starring: Joseph Quinn, Charles Melton, D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai, Will Poulter, Cosmo Jarvis, Kit Connor, Finn Bennett, Taylor John Smith, Michael Gandolfini, Adain Bradley, Noah Centineo, Evan Holtzman, Henry Zaga, Alex Brockdorff, Nathan Altai, Donya Hussen, Aaron Deakins

Directors: Ray Mendoza and Alex Garland

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)

The Amateur

Starring: Rami Malek, Laurence Fishburne, Rachel Brosnahan, Caitríona Balfe, Michael Stuhlbarg, Holt McCallany, Julianne Nicholson, Danny Sapani, Jon Bernthal, Adrian Martinez, Marc Rissmann, Joseph Millson, Barbara Probst, Alice Hewkin, Henry Garrett, Takehiro Hira

Director: James Hawes

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)

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‘The Surfer’ Review: What’ll It Take for Nic Cage to Ride That Wave

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Gnarly (CREDIT: Roadside Attractions)

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julian McMahon, Nic Cassim, Miranda Tapsell, Alexander Bertrand, Justin Rosniak, Rahel Romahn, Finn Little

Director: Lorcan Finnegan

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Toxic Masculinity and References to Suicide

Release Date: May 2, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A native of Western Australia (Nicolas Cage) is absolutely dead-set on buying a house for his family in the neighborhood where he grew up, and he’s just as dead-set on taking his son (Finn Little) out surfing on the nearby beach. Trouble is, the locals don’t approve. It’s a public beach, but that’s not exactly the message being delivered by Scally (Julian McMahon) and his crew, who are sure to punch you and steal your board if you try to press your luck. But the Surfer is undeterred, as he stays put in the parking lot for as long as it takes to obtain what he’s owed. But the police and anyone else who could possibly lend a sympathetic ear sure aren’t helpful. So he has only himself to rely on, which isn’t exactly good news, as he gradually loses his sanity and all of his possessions as the blazing sun rips his skin apart. But maybe, just maybe, his stubborn willpower will be enough to eventually turn the tide in his favor.

What Made an Impression?: This Test Has All the Wrong Answers: The explanation for why everyone is so firmly against the Surfer is narratively satisfying, but it is not morally satisfying. It’s an endurance game that makes for a bona fide psychological thriller, but it’ll tear your soul apart if you try to reconcile it with a belief in a reasonable universe. Plan accordingly.
Lost in the Cage: On a scale of Pig to Vampire’s Kiss, this is about a National Treasure on the Cage-o-meter, minus any semblance of mental health. The feature-length breakdown on display is like muscle memory for Nicky C. at this point.
The Boys from Oz: I spent most of The Surfer thinking that Scally was being played by Murray Bartlett, so the revelation that it was actually Julian McMahon was a bit of a relief, since Murray usually portrays much more pleasant fellows, whereas McMahon has a reputation for bringing scallywags to life. Still, I guess there’s something sinisterly delicious about fiftysomething Sydney residents with sharp cheekbones, isn’t there?
It’s Not Worth It: If The Surfer teaches us anything, I hope it’s this: spend time with your family, and be flexible! If buying that fancy mansion means keeping yourself away from the people that are supposed to live in it with you, then you can live somewhere else. And if hanging ten on your favorite waves means getting pummeled to a crisp along the way, I promise there are better spots to do it!

The Surfer is Recommended If You Like: The idea of The Game crossed with (Insert Your Favorite Surfing Movie Here)

Grade: 3 out of 5 Locals

When ‘The Wedding Banquet’ Lasted ‘Until Dawn’

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TFW it’s April at the movies (CREDIT: Sony Pictures/Screenshot; BleeckerStreet/ShivHansPictures)

The Wedding Banquet (2025)

Starring: Han Gi-Chan, Kelly Marie Tran, Bowen Yang, Lily Gladstone, Joan Chen, Youn Yuh-jung

Director: Andrew Ahn

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)

Until Dawn

Starring: Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino, Odessa A’zion, Ji-young Yoo, Belmont Cameli, Maia Mitchell, Peter Stormare

Director: David F. Sandberg

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)

Let me be absolutely clear about one thing: I would NOT want The Wedding Banquet to last Until Dawn.

Fortunately, these are two separate movies that I’m talking about right now. And further fortunately, you don’t have to attend a matrimonial event to watch The Wedding Banquet, nor do you have to stay up all night to watch Until Dawn. (Although actually a wedding-themed movie marathon during my own nuptials sounds like a pretty grand idea. I’ll have to store that away for future reference, thank you.)

Anyway, to quickly sum up my most essential takeaways from this pair of flicks: The Wedding Banquet lovingly underscores the value of interlocking the intricacies of friends, family, and lovers no matter how queer you are, while Until Dawn is quite possibly the most exciting sandbox Peter Stormare has ever been given to play around in (give or take a Gorb).

Grades:
The Wedding Banquet: 333 Grandmas out of 444 Ruses
Until Dawn: It Was a Darky and Occcasionally Stormare Night

‘The Accountant 2’ Review: Keep It in the Family

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Accounting for the Accountant (and His Brother) (CREDIT: Amazon MGM Studios © Amazon Content Services LLC)

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jon Bernthal, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Daniella Pineda, Allison Robertson, J.K. Simmons, Robert Morgan, Grant Harvey, Andrew Howard

Director: Gavin O’Connor

Running Time: 132 Minutes

Rating: R for Big Guns and Joint Twisting

Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Autistic accountant Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) thought he could spend his time hacking the algorithm at a speed dating event, but it turns out that his unique talents are required by the Treasury Department once again. Agent Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) is a little wary about working with him, considering his extra-legal methods of enforcement. But it does seem like he’s the only one who can connect the dots between a mysterious woman (Daniella Pineda) and an immigrant couple whose son has been missing for years. Meanwhile, Christian calls up his brother Braxton (Jon Bernthal) for some added muscle and to inject some odd couple levity into the proceedings.

What Made an Impression?: My History with The Accountant: Longtime readers of my reviews are probably already familiar with my deeply held belief that you don’t need to catch the original before you see any of the sequels. So I’m not ashamed to admit that I have not seen the first Accountant. But I am a little surprised to report that I felt a little lost without that background info. While The Accountant 2 offers a pretty self-contained story, more character-defining context would have been welcomed had it been offered.
Does It Make Perfect Sense or Am I Perfectly Confused?: The investigation mostly revolves around Pineda’s character, who basically became a superhuman assassin after suffering a traumatic brain injury. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s a spoiler or part of the premise. Anyway, she’s somehow linked to a wider conspiracy involving kidnapping and human trafficking. It’s a criminal labyrinth that I was able to follow along with until the very end, when I found myself wondering, “Wait a minute, what’s the story here?” Each individual scene justifies and explains itself well enough, but the strings between them feel pretty loose. (Unless you’re Christian Wolff, perhaps?)
Just Two Dudes: Anyway, I’m not sure I really want to understand the parts of The Accountant 2 that left me squinty-eyed. By the climax, it mostly devolves into a macho burst of relentless artillery that I really didn’t care for, but along the way, Affleck and Bernthal’s oil-and-water fraternal chemistry makes for a decent hang. I understand why these two get on each other’s nerves, and I’d much rather watch them get up to trouble in a honky-tonk bar rather than save the country or whatever.

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Acquired Savants

‘The Legend of Ochi’ Unfolds with Big-Eyed Wonder

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Which one’s the Ochi and which one’s the Human? (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Helena Zengel, Willem Dafoe, Finn Wolfhard, Emily Watson

Director: Isaiah Saxon

Running Time: 96 Minutes11

Rating: PG for Weird Parental Energy and Some Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises

Release Date: April 18, 2025 (Limited Theaters)/April 25, 2025 (Expands Wide)

What’s It About?: On a secluded island village in the Black Sea, a girl named Yuri (Helena Zengel) lives under the iron will of her father Maxim (Willem Dafoe). Along with Yuri’s older adoptive brother Petro (Finn Wolfhard) and the rest of Maxim’s army of young boys, their lives are almost entirely dedicated to hunting a supposedly monstrous species of orange-furred, blue-faced primates known as ochi. But Yuri is more than a little bit skeptical of this arrangement. Sure enough, she soon forges a deep connection with an adorable baby ochi, and they then commence on a journey back home that will undoubtedly reveal the truth about the ochi and Yuri’s family history.

What Made an Impression?: It’s Not Easy Being…: It’s not just the ochi’s faces that are blue. Their eyes are deep and icy as well, as are Yuri’s. (Helena Zengel is pretty much an ochi in human form.) There’s also an unforgettable blue caterpillar. I was certainly feeling blue by the end of it (in the Miles Davis Kind of sense). Hopefully you will as well.
Throwback Vibes: Chances are pretty high that The Legend of Ochi will have you asking, “Is it the 80s again?” Specifically the puppetry-based creature features that dominated the decade like E.T., The NeverEnding Story, and Labyrinth. Ochi is just as painstaking and otherworldly as all of those with its own mix of puppets, animatronics, and computer animation. The plot is fairly standard-issue, but the level of craft is off the charts.
Communication Studies: Yuri eventually reunites with her long-lost mother Dasha (Emily Watson), who is basically the polar opposite of her estranged husband, insofar as she’s dedicated her years to studying the singular wonders of the ochi. Her most powerful insight is that they talk not with words, but with sensation. Accordingly, I’m finding it a little lacking to verbalize my reaction to this movie. So maybe it’ll be better if I just conclude with a list of emotions that I felt while watching: awe, curiosity, compassion, hope, gratefulness, tingles, frustration, triumph, relief.

The Legend of Ochi is Recommended If You Like: Throwbacks that aren’t too beholden to their forerunners

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Pigtails

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