Starring: Kevin Costner, Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Michael Rooker, Danny Huston, Jena Malone, Michael Angarano, Abbey Lee, Jamie Campbell Bower, Jon Beavers, Owen Crow Shoe, Tatanka Means, Luke Wilson, Ella Hunt, Tom Payne, Georgia MacPhail, Will Patton, Isabelle Fuhrman, Jeff Fahey, Gregory Cruz, Scott Haze, Angus Macfadyen, Etienne Kellici, Charles Halford, Dale Dickey, Wasé Chief, Elizabeth Dennehy, Hayes Costner, Alejandro Edda, Tim Guinee, Colin Cunningham, James Russo, Douglas Smith, Larry Bagby, Dalton Baker, Chase Ramsey, Naomi Winders, Austin Archer, Giovanni Ribisi
Director: Kevin Costner
Running Time: 181 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: June 28, 2024 (Theaters)
Many of my movie reviews operate by a simple question. And it goes a little something like this: do I want to have the sort of life portrayed in the movie that I’m reviewing? And so, now that I’ve seen Chapter 1, it must be asked: would I like to live in Horizon? Eh, I can pretty confidently say, “No, thanks.” I’ll see if I can summon back up some interest for Chapters 2-4. Maybe if it turns out the whole story was based in-universe on the drawings of the dopey English couple, then I’ll be satisfied.
Grade: Too Many Horizonites in the Horizon Spoil the Western Broth
Who loves a million dollars?! (CREDIT: ABC/Instagram)
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Despicable Me 4 (Theaters) – May we all release Despicable forever.
–MaXXXine (Theaters)
TV
–Celebrity Family Feud (July 9 on ABC) – A special called Family Feud: Decades of Laughs airs right before.
–Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (July 10 on ABC) – This time, the celebrity contestants are playing in pairs.
-The ESPYs (July 11 on ABC) – I’ll check out the highlights.
Blinded by the starpower (CREDIT: Justin Lubin/A24)
Starring: Mia Goth, Kevin Bacon, Giancarlo Esposito, Elizabeth Debicki, Moses Sumney, Michelle Monaghan, Bobby Cannavale, Halsey, Lily Collins, Sophie Thatcher, Ned Vaughn, Chloe Farnworth, Simon Prast
Director: Ti West
Running Time: 104 Minutes
Rating: R for Extravagant Gore, A Fair Amount of T&A, and Some Hits of Blow
Release Date: July 5, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Maxine Minx (Mia Goth) will simply never, never, never, never, never, never, EVER accept a life that she doesn’t deserve. It’s a lesson that her father instilled deep into her psyche from a very young age. Cut ahead to 1985, when she’s now one of the biggest names in adult entertainment, but anxious to cross over into mainstream cinema. Her talent is undeniable, especially to the casting team of “The Puritan II.” It’s a schlocky demonsploitation horror sequel, but the director (Elizabeth Debicki) is trying to make an artistic statement, and she sees a kindred spirit in Maxine. Everything she’s dreamed of looks like it’s about to come true, but a mysterious figure who knows her backstory as the lone survivor of a bloody massacre six years earlier threatens to derail everything by killing the people closest to her.
What Made an Impression?: It’s the 80s, Do A Lot of Coke And…:MaXXXine is the satisfying culmination of writer-director Ti West’s bloody little trilogy starring Mia Goth that began in 2022 with X and Pearl. While the former captured the early slasher era of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the latter adopted a sheen of Old Hollywood melodrama but with just as much gore. MaXXXine expands its slasher trappings by taking inspiration from the exploitative thrillers of Brian De Palma, while also situating itself amidst the Satanic Panic of the Day Glo decade. The soundtrack blasts classics of the era from the likes of Animotion and Frankie Goes to Hollywood, while also boogieing unexpectedly hard with an opening credits sequence set to ZZ Top’s “Gimme All Your Lovin’.” And the pastiche is more than surface-level. Indeed, it’s engagingly lived-in, with conversations that are both of the moment and eternal representations of the characters’ deepest desires. Plenty of Scenery to Chew: Mia Goth pulled double duty in X, but she’s been able to flex her acting muscles a lot more in the solo spotlights of those two characters. Pearl wasn’t quite a one-woman show, but the inimitable titular farm girl was pretty detached from the rest of humanity. Maxine Minx, meanwhile, is just as fiercely independent, and Goth once again delivers a transcendent degree of steely resolve. But this time around, even though she may be reluctant to admit it, Maxine has people that she cares about and who care about her. And accordingly, this is quite the ensemble piece, with West giving his players plenty of space to find notes that they’ve never reached before. That’s especially true of Kevin Bacon as a private investigator tracking Maxine who’s saturated in the molasses of the New Orleans bayou. His performance absolutely gives a whole new meaning to the phrase”I smell bacon.” A Cautionary Tale?: Without getting into too many spoiler-y specifics, I’ll tease that Maxine kind of does achieve exactly what she’s driving towards. But I hesitate to call it a happy ending. Nor would I call it a pseudo-happy ending. It’s complicated. Yeah, she gets the star-making gig, but she also has a cocaine habit that I don’t think she has under control. And while the future looks bright for her, I’m worried that her obsession with fame will leave her empty. But we do get enough moments of vulnerability to suggest that Maxine realizes she’s never quite fully allowed herself to just be a human. It’s been a great joy to watch her story unfold these past couple years, but I’m ready to simply hope that she can find some peace after escaping all the horror that wouldn’t let her go.
MaXXXine is Recommended If You Like: Video nasties, Escaping and confronting the past, Righteous defiance
Still Despicable after all these years (CREDIT: Illumination & Universal Pictures)
Starring: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Will Ferrell, Joey King, Miranda Cosgrove, Pierre Coffin, Sofía Vergara, Stephen Colbert, Chloe Fineman, Steve Coogan, Dana Gaier, Madison Polan
Director: Chris Renaud
Running Time: 95 Minutes
Rating: PG for Mega Mayhem
Release Date: July 3, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?:Despicable Me 4, eh? Did you ever think all those years ago that we’d ever make it this far? In the latest antic adventure from Illumination, reformed baddie Gru (Steve Carell) continues his work with the Anti-Villain League by targeting Maxime Le Mal (Will Ferrell), an old school rival who’s now bent on achieving world domination by employing an army of cockroaches and turning himself into a human/roach hybrid. But when Maxime promises revenge, Gru and his family (including new arrival Gru Jr.) are forced to assume fake identities and go into hiding in the “lovely, safe, boring” town of Mayflower. And of course, as usual, the Minions also get up to their shenanigans.
What Made an Impression?: Multiple Movies Per Movie: If you’ve been paying close attention to the DM4 marketing blitz, then you may have noticed that the advertisements seem to be having an identity crisis. We’ve got the Maxime Le Mal promos, we’ve got the Gru Jr. promos, and most eye-catchingly, we’ve got the Mega Minion promos. And that’s not even mentioning a new character voiced by Joey King named Poppy who idolizes Gru for his early hits and seeks to be trained in the ways of supervillainy, or how Gru’s wife Lucy (Kristen Wiig) and their girls are stuck navigating country club suburbia. Each of these threads is siloed into its own little area that hardly interacts with the rest of the movie. That doesn’t exactly make for the most satisfying storytelling, but that doesn’t matter too much when the gags are good. And hot banana, the gags are as fresh as ever! Wit and Timing: Is Mike White Illumination’s new in-house punch-up guy? After getting the vegan message out with last year’s Migration, the guy behind School of Rock and The White Lotus joins the Gru family with a co-writing credit alongside Ken Daurio. The DM flicks have never really been known for their crackling screenplays, instead relying mostly on cuteness overload and chaotic hijinks. Those latter elements are still fully stocked up, but there’s also some zingier-than-usual dialogue that I suspect may be due to White’s influence. They make for a well-balanced cinematic meal alongside the reliable visual wit of those little yellow guys. The aforementioned Mega Minions are the result of some superhero engineering experiments that result in powers like strength, flight, stretchiness, the ability to eat anything, and ocular laser beams. They deploy these newfound skills with a wealth of enthusiasm and a profound lack of training, and if you know anything about the Minions, then you know just how delightfully promising that formula is. What’s to Come?: The ending of DM4 features cameos from the rogues’ gallery that this series has assembled over the years, and it had me looking towards this franchise’s potential future. I sensed a Fast & Furious-esque vibe that hinted at the possibility that these villains could perhaps turn into anti-villains and team up with the heroes on their next adventures. That would make a certain sense, considering how this franchise began with a story about a reformed baddie. I’m a loyal fan, and if the box office receipts are any indication, I’m clearly not the only one. So if we continue to get new entries from this crew for the next hundred years or so, I’m confident that they’ll have fun turning the knobs in new directions.
Despicable Me 4 is Recommended If You Like: Stretch Armstrong, Kid-friendly Cronenberg body horror, Mild Stepford vibes
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–A Family Affair (June 28 on Netflix) – Starring Joey King (and also Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron)
–Horizon: An American Saga – Chapter 1 (Theaters) – Part 2 arrives in August.
–A Quiet Place: Day One (Theaters)
Music
-James Blake and Lil Yachty, Bad Cameo
-Camila Cabello, C,XOXO
-Johnny Cash, Songwriter
-Hiatus Kaiyote, Love Heart Cheat Code
-Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, South of Here
-Megan Thee Stallion, Megan
-Wilco, Hot Sun Cool Shroud
Sports
-Wimbledon (July 1-14 on ESPN)
-Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest (July 4 on ESPN2) – No Joey Chestnut this year!😱
Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Joseph Quinn, Alex Wolff, Djimon Hounsou, Eliane Umuhire
Director: Michael Sarnoski
Running Time: 99 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Acrobatic Alien Hunting
Release Date: June 28, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Remember those blind aliens from A Quiet Place that hunt by sound? Did you wonder what it was like when they first arrived? Perhaps you specifically imagined how it must have gone down in New York City. It’s the city that famously never sleeps. And it also never shuts up either! So the ETs would presumably be able to indulge in quite the feast. And so, in A Quiet Place: Day One, cancer-stricken Sam (Lupita Nyong’o) and her cat Frodo head into Manhattan along with hospice nurse Reuben (Alex Wolff). She only agrees to the trip because she hasn’t had a real New York slice of pizza in a while. But that proves difficult to procure when the aliens show up and also when a law student named Eric (Joseph Quinn) won’t leave her alone amidst the mayhem.
What Made an Impression?: Resourcefulness: One of the signature features of the first Quiet Place was getting to see all the ways that human life had adapted to being as silent as possible. I was concerned that Day One would be utterly devoid of those pleasures, but it turns out that people are pretty resourceful in a crisis. Or at least, enough people are sufficiently resourceful to make a movie out of. It’s hard to calculate exactly due to the chaos of the invasion, but I would estimate that it takes at most an hour for everyone to realize that they need to stop making noise. As Sam navigates the urban landscape as gracefully as possible, it’s enough to make you pine for the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic when otherwise busy city streets were completely empty. Of course, in both cases, the circumstances precipitating the calm were quite devastating. But this movie is still satisfying as a how-to guide to navigate the world being upended by a sudden disaster. Wait a Minute, the Cat!: Sam’s journey is ultimately one of allowing herself to live again amidst all the death and destruction. That’s not exactly groundbreaking when it comes to terminally ill protagonists, so I’m not surprised that I was far more interested in her stubborn insistence on acquiring one final slice of ‘za. And I think that burning desire partly explains why her feline friend is so loyal to her. Believe you me, Frodo is quite the cat. He knows not to meow! He knows how to avoid being trampled! He even knows how to walk on a leash! The Quiet Place movies are all pretty straightforward in what they promise and deliver, but then occasionally you have little Frodos that are surprisingly sublime.
A Quiet Place: Day One is Recommended If You Like: Being able to hear chatter from the lobby in between the explosions
Having a devil of a time (CREDIT: Vertical Entertainment; LevelFILM/Screenshot)
I Used to Be Funny
Starring: Rachel Sennott, Olga Petsa, Jason Jones, Sabrina Jalees, Caleb Hearon, Ennis Esmer, Dani Kind
Director: Ally Pankiw
Running Time: 106 Minutes
Rating: Unrated
Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)
The Exorcism
Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Simpkins, Adam Goldberg, Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, David Hyde Pierce, Marcenae Lynette, Tracey Bonner, Samantha Mathis, Adrian Pasdar
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