‘The Weight’ is a Thrilling Historical Drama About American Desperation

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They put The Weight right on us (CREDIT: Vertical)

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Russell Crowe, Julia Jones, Austin Amelio, Avi Nash, Lucas Lynggaad Tonnesen, George Burgess, Cameron Brady, Avy Berry, Alec Newman, Sam Hazeldine, Jeffrey Lee Hallman, Dylan Page, Peter Lewys Preston, Caspar Steinbeck

Director: Padraic McKinley

Running Time: 113 Minutes

Rating: R for Language and Some Shockingly Intense Violence

Release Date: September 18, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Samuel Murphy (Ethan Hawke) has found himself in a greatly depressing situation, which is appropriate given the setting of his movie, i.e. 1933 Oregon. After he and his young daughter Penny (Avy Berry) are evicted, a violent misunderstanding with the police leads to Murphy being arrested and placed in a hard labor camp. There’s a chance he can be released in a few months with good behavior, but that’s not soon enough to be reunited with his daughter before she’ll become a ward of the state. So the man in charge of the labor camp, Warden Clancy (Russell Crowe), offers him an out: he’ll sign the papers granting Murphy an even earlier release as long as Murphy does a certain favor for him. Specifically, he must assemble a small crew of his fellow convicts and transport gold bars to a designated dropoff point. It sure sounds dangerous, possibly even deadly, and probably not exactly legal. But Murphy never doubts that it’s his best hope to get Penny back in his arms.

What Made an Impression?: Surely There’s Got to Be a Better Way!: You know those rickety rope bridges hanging between cliffs that are just waiting to have their wooden planks scooched down into the abyss? I always assumed that they were invented for the Indiana Jones movies and their ilk, but maybe they are a real thing after all. The Weight would certainly like us to believe that they existed in the early 20th century Pacific Northwest wilderness, as there’s a marvelously tense set piece in which Murphy and his crew realize that the bridge they’re crossing is not going to hold the weight of a man and all the gold he’s lugging around in his backpack. So Murphy stands in the middle while someone on one end tosses him one bar at a time, and then he tosses each bar one at a time to the other end. Every little movement is a life-or-death proposition, doubly so. One false step could be the end for Murphy, and furthermore, Clancy has assured them that losing just one of the bars means they’ve failed the entire mission. It’s the movie’s entire dramatic tension captured in one white-knuckle sequence.
Flying Gracefully Forever: Ethan Hawke is one of those actors that I’ll see in basically anything. (That preference was solidified during his turn in 2010s genre flicks like The Purge and Sinister.) The Weight is just the latest evidence of the wisdom of that attitude. There’s one scene in particular when Hawke as Murphy figures out how to move a massive boulder off the road that makes it abundantly clear that we’re in the care of someone who knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s a perfect distillation of his team player instincts, as he makes everyone else in the ensemble exponentially better.
Never Comfortable Again: The Weight is a constantly damp movie, as the gold transporters must traverse multiple river crossings and occasionally sleep under unforgiving rainstorms. And it’s not like they brought any change of clothes for the journey. This isn’t exactly the sort of thing I’m in the mood for in September, as its overcast outlook threatens that the end of the month will give way to a perpetually cloudy autumn. It’s a well-made movie, for sure, but you just gotta make sure you’re equipped to handle that lack of sunshine.

The Weight is Recommended If You Like: Forrest hiking, Pre-seat belt era car chases, Climactic dealmaking

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Teddy Bears

‘The Exorcism’ ‘Used to Be Funny’?

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Having a devil of a time (CREDIT: Vertical Entertainment; LevelFILM/Screenshot)

I Used to Be Funny

Starring: Rachel Sennott, Olga Petsa, Jason Jones, Sabrina Jalees, Caleb Hearon, Ennis Esmer, Dani Kind

Director: Ally Pankiw

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

The Exorcism

Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Simpkins, Adam Goldberg, Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, David Hyde Pierce, Marcenae Lynette, Tracey Bonner, Samantha Mathis, Adrian Pasdar

Director: Joshua John Miller

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 21, 2024 (Theaters)

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‘The Pope’s Exorcist’ is a Vespa Ride Full of Breezy Adventures

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Exorcists Gonna Exorcise (CREDIT: Jonathan Hession/Screen Gems/Sony Pictures Entertainment)

Starring: Russell Crowe, Daniel Zovatto, Alex Essoe, Laurel Marsden, Peter DeSouza-Feighoney, Ralph Ineson, Franco Nero, Cornell S. John

Director: Julius Avery

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

Well now, how about an entire series of Pope’s Exorcist movies?! My favorite part of this movie was discovering that Russell Crowe was playing the very real Father Gabriele Amorth. I’m guessing that this telling embellished the details, but I’m also sure that the actual padre lived quite a life. And even if he didn’t, his decades of encounters with the devil makes for a durable enough premise to pretend that he did for plenty of cinematic hours. So let’s get to it!

Grade: Good Enough Start, Now Let’s Give This Exorcist Some More Exorcisms

I Saw ‘Thor: Love and Thunder’ and ‘Flux Gourmet’ on the Same Weekend, and Somehow I Survived

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CREDIT: Marvel Entertainment/Screenshot; IFC Films

Thor: Love and Thunder

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, Taika Waititi, Tessa Thompson, Jaimie Alexander, Russell Crowe

Director: Taika Waititi

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: July 8, 2022

Flux Gourmet

Starring: Asa Butterfield, Gwendoline Christie, Ariane Labed, Fatima Mohamed, Makis Papaditriou, Leo Bill, Richard Bremer

Director: Peter Strickland

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 24, 2022 (Theaters and On Demand)

Wow, here I am, a few days older and a few days wiser from having taken in a couple of the latest cinematic offerings. As Thor: Love and Thunder began, I felt invigorated by the current state of the MCU in which we’re not just building up to the latest chapter. Or, we are, but it’s not thuddingly obvious what direction we’re headed in. That felt freeing! But then after a while, I was worried that I had lost the plot – what was the deal with the kids again? At least we had a lot of fun with Russell Crowe’s Zeus. I wondered why he was doing an Italian accent, and then I realized it must be Greek, so that was a journey.

As for Flux Gourmet, the uncertainty was even more ever-present. Partly that was because I’ve never seen any other movie quite like this, but more pertinently it was because I kept nodding off. I guess I need to institute precautions when drinking vodka lemonades during a mid-afternoon show. Anyway, this flick ultimately struck me as most relevant in dramatizing what it’s like to be diagnosed with celiac disease. And any part not expressly about that was probably still metaphorically about it.

Grades:
Thor: Love and Thunder: More Love, Decent Thunder
Flux Gourmet: Straightforward Flatulence, Everything Else in Flux

‘Unhinged’ Doesn’t Let Its Foot Off the Senselessness Pedal

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Unhinged (PHOTO CREDIT: Skip Bolden)

Starring: Russell Crowe, Caren Pistorius, Gabriel Bateman, Jimmi Simpson, Austin P. McKenzie

Director: Derrick Borte

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R for A Massive Overreaction

Release Date: August 21, 2020

Unhinged is basically the Book of Job but like if Satan’s preferred form of torture were the most outrageous case of road rage ever. Although I must admit that this comparison isn’t perfect, as harried single mom Rachel Hunter (Caren Pistorious) is far from as perfectly righteous as Job was. But the inciting incident that she perpetrates hardly calls for the hell that she endures. While trying to get her son Kyle (Gabriel Bateman) to school on time, she slams on her car horn at the truck stuck in front of her at a green light. The fact that she didn’t instead offer a quick courtesy honk is all the justification that Tom Cooper (Russell Crowe), the driver of that truck, needs to go on a violent spree of making bad things happen to good people.

My biblical reference may sound like a rather high-minded interpretation for such a pulpy film, but I don’t know how else to process this senselessness. Tom says that he’s “been kind of having a hard time lately,” but we never really learn what that is all about. The implication is that he’s finally snapped after being mistreated himself for too long and that he’s now going to take out his anger on whoever’s in his way. But since we learn essentially nothing about his backstory, he registers more as an anonymous agent of evil than an actual person. In that way, Unhinged is like a high-speed, wide-open version of The Strangers, as society is invaded by meaningless destruction disguised as some guy wearing the mask of road rage.

The opening credits feature a montage of traffic accidents, thereby suggesting that Tom’s revenge is the ultimate consequence of a selfish American driving culture. But Tom is too undefined to actually feel like a product of that backstory. He strikes me as more of a piece with the motiveless killers that were in vogue in 70s horror landmarks like Halloween and The Last House on the Left, which The Strangers is a clear descendant of. Nevertheless, I think the viewers who most enjoy Unhinged will be the ones whose blood pumps at one-man-pushed-to-the-brink thrillers like Death Wish or Falling Down. Unlike in those flicks, though, the focus here is on the mom who fights back against that guy and summons the strength to protect her cub. That doesn’t really make the carnage any more palatable, though it does at least make it less likely to linger with a sour aftertaste in your conscience.

Unhinged is Recommended If You Like: Taxi Driver but because you want to fight back and teach the Travis Bickles of the world a lesson

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Cases of the Mondays

This Is a Movie: Lucas Hedges Wades Through the Lies of Gay Conversion to Find Truth and Love in the Unsettling and Fulfilling ‘Boy Erased’

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CREDIT: Focus Features

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2018.

Starring: Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Joel Edgerton, Troye Sivan, Xavier Dolan, Joe Alwyn, Flea

Director: Joel Edgerton

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for Intense, Sexuality-Focused Material

Release Date: November 2, 2018 (Limited)

Boy Erased demonstrates the dangers of putting the unqualified in charge, or pretending that it is possible to be qualified for something that nobody can possibly have experience with. With the suspensefully assured hand of director Joel Edgerton, it plays like a horror film in which the villain is the storm of forces that try to convince you of something that you know in your core not to be true. The setting is a gay conversion therapy program, which is basically the epitome of trauma born out of the most distorted of good intentions. Every story I have ever heard about gay conversion suggests that those involved with running them are either gay themselves or relatives of gay people. Boy Erased very much underscores how terrifying a curriculum designed upon internalized homophobia is.

The film is based on Garrard Conley’s memoir of the same name, with Lucas Hedges playing Jared Eamons, an adapted version of Conley. This isn’t the first gay conversion gay conversion-focused film this year, with The Miseducation of Cameron Post having arrived a few months earlier. Boy Erased manages to make a stronger impression thanks to heavier dramatic stakes. Whereas Cameron Post‘s protagonists were so strong-willed that they just ignored the program, Jared actually cares about satisfying the people who want him to go through with it. That especially includes his Baptist preacher father Marshall (Russell Crowe) and his fiercely protective mother Nancy (Nicole Kidman). But at a certain point, he realizes that the so-called adult experts do not know what they are talking about if what they are asking him to do is ripping apart his soul. That means he must push back against head therapist Victor (Edgerton), a man who is frighteningly skilled at hiding internal conflict, and instead listen to the people who only offer him unconditional, recognizable love. It all leads to reconciliation scenes that you hope never have to be necessary for anybody but are all the more fulfilling for how genuine they are.

Boy Erased is Recommended If You Like: Heart-wrenching true stories, Familial reconciliation, Dramas that are secretly horror movies

Grade: 4 out of 5 White Dress Shirts

This Is a Movie Review: ‘The Mummy’ Reboot is Lifeless Except for the Rare Moments When It Embraces Its Goofy Side

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in June 2017.

Starring: Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, Russell Crowe

Director: Alex Kurtzman

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Getting Ur Freak On with Death

Release Date: June 9, 2017

I laughed derisively when the Universal globe logo spun around and gave way to the “Dark Universe” logo, but the joke was on me, as the best parts of this new interlocking cinematic franchise are the ones setting up its upcoming entries. More fundamentally, the reason the joke was on me was because I held out hope throughout The Mummy that something unique or especially thrilling might happen.

As far as reboots go, once again resurrecting the Egyptian tomb-dwellers is far from an outrage. This undead crew is part of the cinematic and larger cultural collective unconscious, so there is plenty of room for new generations of storytellers to add their spin. But this particular version of The Mummy is maddening because it never establishes a convincing reason for why it should exist in the first place.

There is a fairly clean setup in which the Ancient Egyptian Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella) makes a deal with Set, the god of Death, but then is defeated and laid to rest thousands of years to become the title villain. Then Tom Cruise swoops in as low-rent Indiana Jones Nick Morton and slips open her tomb, thus unleashing the Pandora’s box of the Dark Universe. So far, so reasonable. But then the story gets bogged down in mythical mumbo-jumbo about daggers and prophecies and whatever. Universal so obviously wants to copy the success of Marvel, but it is not going to do that by following its worst habit of focusing way too much on the MacGuffins. Are there mythological nerds out there who actually care about this minutiae?

All this plot-centric gobbledygook can be forgiven if The Mummy can provide the genre thrills, but the results in that department are mostly meh. Cruise is as game as always, but the action, while competently shot and coherently edited, is not especially memorable. The one mildly saving grace comes from the stabs at horror. Boutuella’s snake-like body and shadowy face provide a canvas for some decently scary images, as her pupils split into two pairs and her corpse decomposes into a dusty pile of bones (reminiscent of the effects of drinking from the wrong grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).

Alas, that is all inconsequential, because the real purpose of The Mummy is prologue to a series of tales in which Dr. Jekyll is the de facto Nick Fury. Russell Crowe plays the good doctor with a motivation apparently split between defeating monsters or assembling them. That dichotomy is potentially interesting and fits the character, but it is a distraction from the actual movie it is in.

At the beginning of this review, I said that I was somehow excited for the rest of the Dark Universe, but mulling everything over, I should probably temper my anticipation, though I still hold out a smidgen hope. The Mummy’s conclusion indicates that the next entries might actually kick back and have more fun by giving extra screen time to characters like Morton’s partner Chris Vail, brought to screeching, howling life by Jake Johnson (New Girl fans will be confused every time he calls Cruise “Nick”). For its lead character, The Mummy could have really used with more off-kilter energy. Cruise can be edgy, but he is too straightforward to match the hysterical, almost Abbott and Costello-esque vibe that Johnson employs to intermittently resuscitate this DOA franchise to life.

The Mummy is Recommended If You Like: Tom Cruise-related schadenfreude, Jake Johnson (though you must be able to endure long stretches without him)

Grade: 2 out of 5 Decompositions

SNL Recap April 9, 2016: Russell Crowe/Margo Price

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SNL: Margo Price, Russell Crowe, Kenan Thompson (CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot)

This review was originally posted on Starpulse in April 2016.

It has been a while since Russell Crowe has been making headlines for throwing phones at people, so his personal life does not provide much fodder for his “SNL” debut. Instead, he has to rely on how well he can fit into the show’s routine, which he seems pretty confident about after seeing his “Nice Guys” co-star Ryan Gosling pull it off. It is hard to say how hosts who do not have much live performing experience will do, but Russell can follow the precedent of Alec Baldwin, Christopher Walken, and Jon Hamm, who repurpose their intensity from drama to comedy. In this episode, he ultimately does know how to deploy his acting chops as needed, but he could be utilized more frequently.

A Message from Hillary Clinton – Hillary’s recent stretch of primary losses allows Kate McKinnon’s impression to be even more desperate than usual, though it is worth questioning the soundness of this premise. With her delegate lead remaining quite high, do these losses matter all that much? That is the nature of a comedy show covering each bump in the election cycle instead of just the overarching narrative. Besides, this skid is enough fodder to ramp up Hillary’s freakouts, and the upcoming New York primary provides enough culture (New York “Meats,” “tumblr parties”) that she can use to struggle to connect with voters. B

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